September 23, 2008
Dealing with these people is theater of the absurd. The doctor has one philosophy and plan of action, while his nurses have another. The doctor is gangbusters, diving right in and slapping bandaids on problems so we can jerry-rig some success. The nurses want to run tests and get to the bottom of things before we do any treatment. The problem is, they haven't worked out their issues among themselves. So I end up having conversations like this:
Nurse: So we need to do a clomid challenge test and day 3 tests.
Sarah: But you told me a week ago that it was OK that I was going to be in Vegas on day 3 and couldn't be here.
Nurse: No, not OK, we have to skip this month.
Sarah: Not acceptable.
Nurse: But we need to make sure you're not already pregnant.
Sarah: My husband is deployed, so I am most certainly not.
Nurse: If your husband is deployed, how are you going to get pregnant?
Nurse: Why are we doing that?
Sarah: Don't you people take notes or anything?
Nurse: (looks at chart) Oh, now I see what the doctor is doing. Well, that's risky but OK...
Sarah: RISKY??? No one said the word "risky" last week; you all acted like this was standard procedure.
Nurse: Well, the doctor doesn't always like the run the tests first, which is a problem.
Oh good lord. I was waiting for her to turn into a rhinoceros.
Ironically, a long time ago my husband and I joked about nicknaming the baby Godot, since we've been waiting for him to show up for quite a while now. I never knew I was inviting absurdity into my life with that harmless joke. But apparently I've jinxed myself into this Who's On First routine with the fertility clinic.
So we're doing a backwards compromise now. We are full steam ahead this month, trying to get pregnant. If it doesn't work this month, we will step back and start running tests to make sure my innards are a go-flight.
Maybe next time I talk to the doctor and nurses, I can get them to peek out of a joke wall à la Laugh In and have them dispense medical information in the form of knock-knock jokes.
Excuse me, does this IUI come with a cream pie to the face?
Posted by: Guard Wife at September 23, 2008 06:16 AM (/kc/Y)
Posted by: Susan at September 23, 2008 06:38 AM (4aKG6)
Posted by: airforcewife at September 23, 2008 06:46 AM (mIbWn)
Posted by: Ruth H at September 23, 2008 10:20 AM (2tSj6)
Posted by: Mare at September 23, 2008 11:53 AM (APbbU)
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