February 29, 2008
YOU NEED TO GET OUT MORE
I was just watching an old rerun of
Law & Order, and the detective said that a suspect had an "arsenal registered in his name." Turns out he had five guns. An arsenal! Shoot, they should meet some of the people we know. One of my husband's buddies used his entire PCS weight allowance for ammunition. No joke. Five firearms is nothing.
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Dang. We have seven firearms - and we are total starters in the gun collecting world.
Posted by: Erin at March 01, 2008 01:36 PM (y67l2)
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BOO-YA
Victor Davis Hanson rips on Europe in an
interview:
JF: What is it that makes the U.S. and Europe so different from each other? From the outside, the two are often perceived as a monolithic unit: the West. Does this unity really exist, or are we talking about two separate worlds? Do you think the alliance between the U.S. and Europe is made to last, or is it no more than an illusion?
VDH: We have a common legacy, as the elections in France and Germany remind us. And we coalesce when faced by a common illiberal enemy — whether against the Soviet empire or radical Islam.
But after the fall of the Soviet Union, you diverged onto a secularized, affluent, leisured, socialist, and pacifist path, where in the pride and arrogance of the Enlightenment you were convinced you could make heaven on earth — and would demonize as retrograde anyone who begged to differ.
Now you are living with the results of your arrogance: while you brand the U.S. illiberal, it grows its population, diversifies and assimilates, and offers economic opportunity and jobs; although, for a time you’ve become wealthy — given your lack of defense spending, commercial unity, and protectionism — but only up to a point: soon the bill comes due as you age, face a demographic crisis, become imprisoned by secular appetites and ever growing entitlements. Once one insists on an equality of result, not one of mere opportunity, then, as Plato warned, there is no logical end to what the government will think up and the people will demand.
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HAIR WOES
John Hawkins scoffs at
arm hair woes. Trust this hirsute chick, it can be a worry. Excessive hair anywhere is a nightmare. I lucked out and inherited my dad's genes, so I get to fuss with hairy knuckles, a lady mustache, and eyebrows that would make Oscar the Grouch cringe. And I do the best I can, but apparently the problem is bad enough that my husband's uncle gave me a mustache trimmer for Christmas this year. (Yeah, ouch. That's like getting punched in the stomach for Christmas.) So John Hawkins might not get it, but I do.
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Wow. Husband's uncle highly presumptuous, to say the least and mildest possible.
I share your pain. Recently caved and began having some strategic waxing and doing some tactical tweezing. Eeyaarrrggh.
Posted by: Anwyn at February 29, 2008 05:35 AM (uNpky)
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I've got German ancestry. That means someone in our background mated with a bear. Seriously. My poor half-Russian kids. Ohhhh, the poor kids!!!
Anyway, TWEEZIE! Best. Thing. Ever. It plucks the hairs and actually inhibits growth, so after about a year of using it, my hair is growing much more slowly and much lighter.
Yay for damaged follicles!
Posted by: airforcewife at February 29, 2008 06:58 AM (mIbWn)
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I'm right with you, AFW--I swear there's a bear in my heritage. I've got wiry hairs that sprout in places no woman should have hair! And all that hair grows fast, too.
And sadly, my follicles don't seem to damage easily. *pout*
Posted by: FbL at February 29, 2008 02:40 PM (rW1/8)
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My only real issue is my eyebrows. To make it more insulting flyboy has the most perfect eyebrows, nicely shaped, nice light coloring, and NO HAIR IN BETWEEN. Actually insulting was when he was honestly shocked that hair grows between the eyebrows and people pay to get rid of it. oh the shame.
although your hair trimmer as a gift takes the cake!
Posted by: lea at February 29, 2008 04:00 PM (NJQf+)
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This may be good news for you (or not!) but as we woman age, we lose alot of body hair. I can go a week easy without shaving my legs and no one would notice.
Unfortunately, I think it all migrated to my nostrils. Just GROSS!
Posted by: Raging Mom at March 03, 2008 05:32 AM (l+Chn)
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IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES
The Girl sent me a depressing study called
Still At Risk: What Students Don't Know, Even Now. Seventeen year olds were asked basic questions about history and literature; guess how they fared.
What I thought was quite interesting was that the questions the students did best on were the "I Have a Dream" speech and Uncle Tom's Cabin. So Black History Month is achieving its goals. But I think we need a White History Month to even things out, since only 74% of kids knew which century Columbus sailed to the New World and only 52% knew what the book 1984 was about (apparently 18% thought it was about time travel, backwards!) Kids don't know what JFK said in his speeches, but they know what MLK said.
My kids are going to have to read, at gunpoint if necessary.
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My kids (except the 5 year old, who can identify Lincoln, Washington, Roosevelt (both), and the current President Bush know this stuff.
Sonlight. Seriously. Even if you don't homeschool, the reading list is PRICELESS. All the books kids should read excepting Little House on the Prairie and Anne of Green Gables. And my girls and my boy love the list.
Best thing we ever bought.
Posted by: airforcewife at February 29, 2008 07:00 AM (mIbWn)
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Have you seen this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juOQhTuzDQ0
My 7 AND 5 year olds knew the answer to that question. How sad. What makes me the most upset is that she thinks it's cute...shouldn't she be embarrassed?
Posted by: Angie at February 29, 2008 11:06 AM (BJEkk)
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I was watching something about this on the news the other night. And while I think it's sad that kids today don't know a lot of the stuff that I still remember from school, one guy pointed out that kids today don't need to know this stuff - they can just google it if need be. Today, education is aimed more at analyzing reading material rather than memorizing dates and names. He had a point, I think. But then again, kids should have at least a vague idea about when the Civil War occured.
Posted by: Erin at March 01, 2008 01:43 PM (y67l2)
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Ronin loves learning about history and the presidents (especially the ones who have been assasinated--it's his obsession with death). Have you ever watched the cartoon Time Warp Trio? It's kind of fun
Posted by: Kate at March 03, 2008 01:10 PM (JIGe1)
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February 28, 2008
STUFF WHITE PEOPLE LIKE
The husband and I just spent the last hour laughing hysterically at a website John Hawkins found:
Stuff White People Like.
Ho
Ly
Crap
This is the most hilarious blog ever. It covers all the stuff I freaking hate (note: travelling / study abroad and making you feel bad about not going outside are just better-written versions of my hatred for travel and doing stuff).
Seriously, I can't even say which one is my favorite -- not having a TV, expensive sandwiches, The Daily Show, having two last names -- they're all spot on. This site captures perfectly all the douchy things that people do. I love it.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you. I need a counter to my hipster, Obama loving, Manolo Blahnick shoe wearing co-workers.
Posted by: Mare at February 28, 2008 06:18 PM (MVOoL)
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I listened to an interview the other day on NPR with the author o the site, he was hilarious...
Posted by: awtm at February 29, 2008 03:15 AM (TEH0y)
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HEH
I've been seeing Subway commercials about how Jared has kept the weight off for ten years. Dang, there are kids out there who have never known a world without Jared.
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I just saw a subway commercial about that this morning!
By the way, this is my first time visiting your blog. I like it!
Your blog title takes me back to high school English - we read Stranger in a Strange Land. I assume you're a fan of it?
Posted by: Tootie at February 28, 2008 11:16 AM (e5c2s)
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I actually got a sandwich at Subway for lunch, came home, got on the computer, and read your post...10 years of Jared? Wow.
Posted by: Nicole at February 28, 2008 09:01 PM (YHVU/)
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Isnt it amazing? I was just thinking about that the other when I saw one of his commercials. What was the world like without Jared?
Posted by: lea at February 29, 2008 03:05 AM (NJQf+)
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The best decision Jared ever made was stopping in a subway, wasnt it.
Posted by: Keri at February 29, 2008 05:15 AM (HXpRG)
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Okay, I'm officially old.
I was in college with Jared when he first started with the commercials--walked past his apartment everyday (he lived above a Subway store, IIRC).
Posted by: FbL at February 29, 2008 02:42 PM (rW1/8)
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UNEMPLOYED
Oh man, I just got laid off! It's a corporate decision to stop offering classes, so there's the end of the greatest job ever. I will really miss those knitting classes. It was fun while it lasted.
But how on earth will we ever live without the $900 I made last year? Heh.
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Awwww that sucks! With the way the system works you probably qualify for unemployment, LOL.
I got laid off once and I made more on unemployment than I did working. No wonder there is a problem. Sad.
Posted by: Army Blogger Wife at February 28, 2008 04:58 PM (Y3JJK)
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SAD!!!
Funny thing, I had the same thought as ABW!
Posted by: Erin at March 01, 2008 01:45 PM (y67l2)
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SCARING SARAH
I've decided it's Scare Sarah week on the internet. Parents seem to be posting horror stories about their kids in an effort to dissuade me from wanting them.
First it was Army Blogger Wife, compiling all the creatively bad things her daughter did.
Which reminded me of the time AWTM's kids got into plaster of paris while her washing machine was broken.
Then Pink Ninja took a ride on the garage door.
Then Erin told me on the phone that the honeymoon is over with Tucker and that she's frazzled and exhausted. She said all of this on the phone while she was planting spring flowers, because she didn't have enough time in the day in between Tucker's screaming to both talk to a friend and work in the garden.
Then today AWTM posted some Bill Cosby comedy about the maddening things kids do.
You guys are conspiring to freak me out, right? That's the awful thing about trying for more than a year to get pregnant: there's too much time to think about it! Time to think about whether you really want to sing Barney songs while cleaning an overflowed toilet. Or reprimand your son for playing with himself in public. Or pull your kid out of a grave.
This needs to happen quick before I lose my nerve...
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Ya know Sarah, every time someone tells me "you will never guess what my kid did?"
I say....is it as bad as falling into Grndas freshly dug grave?
the answer is generally a horrifed look of no...
I win every time.
Pink Ninja pooped on the floor in front of company, cut her hair, broke both arms within months of one another leading me to have a discussion with social services as well....
the list goes on and on....
Parenthood, is not for wussies....
indeed
Posted by: awtm at February 28, 2008 04:07 AM (TEH0y)
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and did anyone mention ''almost drownings''?
I promise you, it's all nessecary, to build you up, for the parenting of teenagers....I also promise it's worth every minute, of laughter, tears, and fears!
Posted by: debe at February 28, 2008 05:48 AM (Hn47u)
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Think of it this way... they don't start out like that. You get to work your way up to it gradually. You adjust as they get older and get to work through each thing as it comes along.
While you're pregnant, you figure out (as you get near the 9 month mark) that you can live without much sleep. This helps when the baby comes along and wants to be fed several times a night and keeps you awake all day too. Cat naps... Then they start to roll, then crawl, then walk, then talk, then... well you get the idea. Each thing is a new adventure.
If kids didn't do stuff like that - you would start to wonder what was wrong with them. LOL. But remember - none of these kids started out doing the fun and fascinating things you are reading about, so relax a bit. You'll be able to handle it when the time comes.
Posted by: Teresa at February 28, 2008 06:43 AM (rVIv9)
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You forgot to mention that they crap all the way UP THEIR BACKS when they are infants.
Sound impossible? Oh, just you wait. Physics are nothing when baby crap comes into play.
Oh, and just for an update, I thought I was going to have to run to the ER yesterday when my son jumped off the kitchen counter and tried to do a ninja kick landing. He ended up with a HUGE goose egg on the part of his head that is bald. So we couldn't hide it. And we had Little Gym, so everyone got to admire it.
Posted by: airforcewife at February 28, 2008 09:16 AM (mIbWn)
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Oh it's definitely not for the faint of heart, but it is fun, frustrating, rewarding, inspiring and so much more! Once they come out kicking and screaming you will adapt super fast and soon you will be a pro.....and a little grayer!
All the good things far outweigh all the not so good things that they do.
Posted by: Army Blogger Wife at February 28, 2008 09:28 AM (Y3JJK)
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LOL I am really enjoying this post and comments
. Theresa is right, you do work up to it. Here's two off the top of my head: last winter, Ronin ate something blue, and we never figured out what, but Jim insisted we go to the emergency room. We got a stern brochure about locking up the chemicals in your cabinets. And, with the exception of the "episode" last week, every time that Ronin has thrown up in his short 5 1/2 years of life, it has been all down the front of me
Posted by: Kate at February 28, 2008 02:17 PM (576n8)
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Other commenter was right, you kinda get eased into it. But it doesnt always make you feel anybetter at the time. But I'm probably a bad person to ask about this at the moment. Our house is being invaded by the terrible threes. Lets hope we make it to four.
Posted by: Lea at February 29, 2008 03:08 AM (NJQf+)
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It's still totally worth it...
Posted by: Erin at March 01, 2008 01:46 PM (y67l2)
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WATCHING A BOOK
Last night we watched
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. One Rotten Tomatoes reviewer said it was like "watching a book on tape." If that seems like your bag, this is the movie for you. I really enjoyed it, but I don't mind things that take their sweet time. I thought it was lovely and thoughtprovoking.
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February 26, 2008
INVESTED
Yep, we're
invested.
Sitting on a bunk in Bravo Company's outpost, Staff Sgt. Corey Hollister noted the irony that, even as the debate in America remained bizarrely unaffected by the reality around him, "It's really military personnel and their families who don't want [the Army] to leave Iraq."
My husband is frustrated that he could've spent six months learning Farsi only to deploy to Iraq (where no one speaks Farsi). He would've rather learned Arabic then. He wants to be able to communicate with the people, wants to read as many books as he can about Sunnis and Shiites and Arab culture, wants to get another chance to participate in this war. Not for the killing but for the cultural cross-pollination.
And indeed, there's cross-pollination:
Officers in the Grand Army of the Tigris, as one of its senior officers calls the American force, dine with local elders at "goat grabs," greet them with "man-kisses," and routinely punctuate their own conversations with the casual "insha'allah." The vernacular has even followed the Army home: In the halls of the Pentagon, where nearly every Army officer has served at least two tours in Iraq, officers ask whether this or that official has "wasta"—Iraqi shorthand for "influence" or "pull," though with a slightly more corrupt tinge.
It's the military families that don't want to leave Iraq because they are the ones who've become invested. They're the ones who are getting steeped in this culture and looking for ways to make it compatible with ours. And they're the ones who understand the little picture as well as the big one.
My husband has always said that Iraq has way more than a problem between Sunnis and Shiites, because even in all-Shiite villages, there are still feuds. Between this group and that, this clan and that, this cousin's branch and that, this side of the street and that. Put two Iraqis in a room together, and they'll find something to divide them. So I got a kick out of this:
This much was evident at a gathering of 20 local elders, where a young captain named Palmer Phillips cajoled and corralled sheiks three times his age. "Hey," Phillips admonished the feuding tribal leaders, "There can't be anymore of this Dulaimi versus Assawi action going on."
The soldiers on the ground are working with the nuances and getting physically and emotionally invested in the outcome. Really, really invested. And they don't want to fail. But most of all they don't want to be sent home before they have a chance to succeed.
Read the whole article.
UPDATE:
Also read Gordon Alanko's Reconstructing Relationships. "Juggling kittens" indeed.
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Interesting perspective Sarah, thanks for the link.
Posted by: tim at February 26, 2008 07:13 AM (nno0f)
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I tried to explain this once to a civilian friend of mine, who got annoyed at me. I was telling her that the military and their families are really the only ones that have to sacrifice for this war, and it's never been that way in the past. We have so much more of a vested interest that we stay there until the job is done--because we are the ones who understand what it all costs.
Posted by: Ann M. at February 26, 2008 12:00 PM (HFUBt)
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"a young captain named Palmer Phillips cajoled and corralled sheiks three times his age"...and when these soldiers come home, and some of them leave the military and seek civilian employment, imagine how valuable this kind of experience will be. An awful lot of business involves leadership and influence, including influencing people over one doesn't have formal authority. I think 6 months negotiating with sheikhs is a kind of learning experience you just can't get in b-school.
I wonder how many companies will be astute enough to realize this?
Posted by: david foster at February 26, 2008 01:21 PM (ke+yX)
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it's too bad your potus didn't take any interest in their culture before invading. maybe you would have succeeded by now
Posted by: none at February 27, 2008 06:03 AM (X8iAz)
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This could almost sum up conversations my husband and I have had. He's working with IA this deployment and did on the last deployment as well and thoroughly enjoys the unique experience (and unique challenge) he is part of. I don't talk about this much to civilians because they just don't get it, they aren't invested like we are.
Posted by: Stephanie at February 28, 2008 10:29 AM (F741V)
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IT'LL BE A GIRL, FOR SURE
My husband and I both want a boy. We want a boy really badly. We always have imagined ourselves with a son. And so we laugh that when we finally, finally get pregnant again someday, we will probably definitely have a girl. Such has been our humbling experience with conception woes.
But no matter how much I'd like to have a boy, now that we've worked so hard to have a baby, any baby, this article -- "Sexual Satisfaction: Abortion and your right to accurate sex selection" -- makes me sick. There are so many people out there who would give anything to have a baby, boy or girl, and others are aborting because some stick they peed on gave them pink instead of blue? Some dubiously accurate stick at that? And then they're suing the company because they had a girl instead of a boy.
People never cease to horrify me.
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Children are not a commodity. I feel sorry for people who don't get it. I feel even sorrier for children of such people.
Posted by: Lame-R at February 26, 2008 02:14 PM (nt98J)
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Some people just refuse to get it. Have a child is selfless not selfish.
People who would abort to choose the sex and simply in it for egotistical reasons. They infuriate me!
Posted by: Vonn at February 27, 2008 09:04 AM (5ZDPj)
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February 25, 2008
MONKEYING AROUND
I spent four hours today sewing toes to feet and making up the monkey face. He's done, and he's pretty cute. Too bad he's not going to fetch $200.
Remind me to never knit stuffed animals for strangers.
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Posted by: Erin at February 25, 2008 11:17 AM (y67l2)
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He is super cute!!!! We love monkeys around these parts...mostly because my youngest reminds me so much of one. LOL
Posted by: Guard Wife at February 25, 2008 04:14 PM (BslEQ)
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Its adorable! im so impressed... it makes me want to take up knitting.
Posted by: lea at February 25, 2008 05:06 PM (NJQf+)
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It's so cute!!!!
What's the next animal in the zoo?
Posted by: Army Blogger Wife at February 26, 2008 02:27 AM (Y3JJK)
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He is certainly adorable....
But I cannot help and think of you positioning him in a tree whilst taking a picture.
I wonder what the neighbor thought?
Posted by: awtm at February 26, 2008 06:30 AM (o/oIv)
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WHAT A VACATION
I just finished reading the book
Assassination Vacation. I have never encountered a book that I so thoroughly loved and hated simultaneously.
Some of the negative reviews on Amazon say that Sarah Vowell's writing is self-absorbed. As a blogger, heh, I live self-absorbed. I assume that people are going to want to listen to my talk of knitted monkey toes and reproductive health. So that didn't bother me at all; I found her voice charming and her style to be engaging. I also loved learning about the Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley assassinations. There were so many great tidbits in this book, and I came away knowing a lot more about the life and death of those three presidents. I also learned touching info like the fact that Ida McKinley sewed a picture of her dead husband into her knitting bag, a bag which is on display in the McKinley museum in Canton, Ohio. Now that I can relate to, that brought Ida McKinley to life for me.
I loved this book, save for the fact that Sarah Vowell has the worst case of Bush Derangement Syndrome I've seen in a long time. She can't talk about any of these assassinations without mentioning Guantanamo Bay, Rumsfeld, Abu Ghraib, etc. These tangential rants were a huge distraction in an otherwise charming book. And I mean a huge distraction. She starts out the book by sympathizing with the assassins themselves because she hates Bush so much, but quickly says that she doesn't want Bush assassinated because that would turn him into a saint. My lord. She also manages to claim that these three assassinated presidents pretty much got what was coming to them because they were Republicans. No word on JFK though.
I mean, seriously, what are you supposed to do when you come across the idea that the author feels sorry for Bill Brady but not for Ronald Reagan? Ouch.
The book could've been the perfect story of one woman's obsession with following in the footsteps of slain presidents, visiting the historical sites and marveling at the relics. Instead she turns a perfectly good book into a dated rant about the Iraq war. She made her own book irrelevant by forever linking it to 2004. It's her right to ruin her book like that, but dang. Does anyone really want to hear her liken Teddy Roosevelt to Paul Wolfowitz? Or compare Dr. Mudd's prison sentence to Gitmo? Sheesh, give it a rest.
So I don't know what I think of this book. I loved the pages where she managed to restrict her thoughts to the 19th century. But when she wandered, boy howdy did she wander. Blech.
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February 24, 2008
THOUGHTS ON RACE
I had a black roommate in college who would not walk across campus alone for fear of being lynched. One time I invited her and her boyfriend to a party, and afterwards she raved about how nice and accepting my friends were. She said she was surprised she felt so welcomed among the white kids, as if she expected the record to skip and the whole room to stop and stare when she walked in. I said that it really wasn't that big of a deal to the people I know. And that's when she revealed that the converse was not true: "There's no way I could take you to one of my parties because the black students simply would not accept you." Nice.
I knew an Eastern European foreign exchange student who thought he identified with black American culture more than white American culture, so he wanted to hang out with the black students. The first time he tried to go to a black party, they rudely asked him to leave. You have to admire his persistence though; he continued to attend their parties for weeks, being ostracized each time. Finally, a girl who was in one of his classes came up to him at his fifth or sixth party and asked him why in the heck he kept coming back when it was obvious he didn't belong. After many weeks of "proving himself," he finally made some headway, and the black students would say hello on campus and talk to him as if he were a friend.
I know these are just anecdotes, but my experience on a very predominantly white campus was that the black students self-segregated and imagined that they were being oppressed. No one even noticed when my roommate showed up at our "white" party. It was no big deal for me to include her, but she'd be going out on a major limb to bring me into her world. That's not the white students' fault; that's the black students' fault for closing themselves off.
I was reminded of these experiences when I read about Michelle Obama's thesis on race relations (via LGF).
"My experiences at Princeton have made me far more aware of my 'blackness' than ever before," the future Mrs. Obama wrote in her thesis introduction. "I have found that at Princeton, no matter how liberal and open-minded some of my white professors and classmates try to be toward me, I sometimes feel like a visitor on campus; as if I really don't belong. Regardless of the circumstances underwhich I interact with whites at Princeton, it often seems as if, to them, I will always be black first and a student second."
I can't speak for Princeton in the 80s, but this was certainly not the case at my school in 1999. And I wonder if my old roommate ever learned to relax around people, all people of all colors, and just be herself. I hope to goodness she doesn't still think she's going to get lynched.
This part of Peggy Noonan's editorial stuck with me too:
Michelle Obama seems keenly aware of her struggles, of what it took to rise so high as a black woman in a white country. Fair enough. But I have wondered if it is hard for young African-Americans of her generation, having been drilled in America's sad racial history, having been told about it every day of their lives, to fully apprehend the struggles of others. I wonder if she knows that some people look at her and think "Man, she got it all." Intelligent, strong, tall, beautiful, Princeton, Harvard, black at a time when America was trying to make up for its sins and be helpful, and from a working-class family with two functioning parents who made sure she got to school.
If Michelle Obama doesn't realize that she made it, that her life is not one "on the periphery," well, that's a damn shame. But it's not white people's fault.
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Excellent post with excellent points. I had a similar experience in college with my black roommate. She was perfectly lovely but the race card being thrown around constantly does get old after a while.
Posted by: lea at February 24, 2008 05:34 AM (NJQf+)
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I was a bridesmaid at my best friends wedding. The grooms sister was married to a black man. They both attended the wedding and at the reception the sisters husband got up and left making a huge scene because he was the only black person there. I was surprised at his rudeness, but truthfully, I had not even noticed him.
I have few friends who are people of color or other ethnicity. It's because I found it to be too much trouble after a while to make so huge an effort.
I won't trash someone else's experience of what it's like to grow up 'other' in this country because I have been privileged enough to not have had to deal with it.
Posted by: Mare at February 25, 2008 05:18 AM (EI19G)
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To be honest I am biracial but many people till consider me black. I grew up not identfing with one group or another. Now that I am in college and live in a mostly black neighborhood, I am amazed at how black people see themselves and the world around them. Also as a college student my biggest hangup is being one of the oldest students in class, not the color of my skin.
I hope that one day black people will look at all the progress that has been made and look at how far that progress has brought this whole country. I am not saying that everything is perfect but it is a thousand times better than even 20 years ago.
Posted by: Reasa at February 25, 2008 06:08 AM (ybBqy)
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I'm with you Sarah.
I don't ever consciously notice someone's color/race/ethnicity until I get spoon-fed with a firehose about what a racist I most likely am (for NOT noticing).
My recent favorite? This ghetto home-girl that used to work in my office calling a white friend of mine prejudiced.... And my friend is married to a very dark black man. When I pointed this out, Home-girl goes, "Just cuz she married to a black man don't mean she ain't racist."
Uhm. Yeah. So now I wonder why I think you're a ghetto home-girl.
Posted by: Allison at February 25, 2008 06:19 PM (go26w)
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Wow Mare, you consider it a privilege not to have to deal with people of other color or ethnicities. I'm sorry to hear that.
I would think that ALL people come with a certain degree of "drama", whether it be race, sexuality, culture, habits, etc. I would hate to exclude any of them from being a potential friend just because I thought one issue was more of hassle than another.
Posted by: Vonn at February 27, 2008 09:17 AM (5ZDPj)
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Vonn, I think you misread Mare's comment. Or at least I read it to say that she was privileged enough to "be white" and not have to deal with all that "not being white" entails.
Posted by: Sarah at February 28, 2008 12:24 PM (TWet1)
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February 23, 2008
MONKEY TOES
The new swear word around our house is "monkey toes."
I'm still working on the spider monkey I started back in November, a project which has been sitting in pieces on my coffee table, mocking me for months. The hitch? Individually knitted toes. Twenty of 'em. Individually sewn on to individual feet. A nightmare of sewing and weaving in ends.
But now the twenty toes are made, and it's time to buckle down and stuff them (eek) and start sewing them to the feet. And sewing the feet to the legs.
Time to get this monkey off my back. Hardy har.
(And yes, I know that the toes look like, ahem, swimmers all lined up like that. Or feminine products. That wasn't the look I was going for when I took the picture.)
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They look a little like the march of the corn/squids to me.
Posted by: Ruth H at February 23, 2008 03:57 PM (hBAQy)
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AWWW
I got Fredstruck this year and forgot my love for ol' George W. This video of his
whiteboy dancing reminded me of how charming I think he is. He deserves to party like a rock star for a day.
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MY HUSBAND IS A HERO
From the comments section of a
Dr. Helen post:
I think the problem is that young men come to the realization that they are not really needed. Boys grow up instinctively wanting to be heroes, but the irony is that successive generations of male heroics have made the world safe enough that women no longer need heroes in their lives; they want "partners." It comes out sounding more like a business proposition, and a rather bland one at that.
My husband is the man of the house. He lifts the heavy things, handles the money, deals with car maintenance, watches baseball, and drinks beer. He also goes to war. He doesn't cry and he doesn't complain about having to work so hard. He is my hero, and I chose him because he is a man's man. I most certainly do need heroes like him in my life.
Sorry, but reading Dr. Helen's columns and comments is a depressing activity. I felt the need to defend my husband after all that reading.
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Hmm.... they must not meet many people in the military, huh?
I consider my husband to be my hero, too.
Posted by: Ann M. at February 23, 2008 07:17 AM (HFUBt)
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As you may or may not remember, I married my husband after I was convinced that, if a nuclear bomb went off and we had to live in an abandoned house or cave with our food, that he could kill anyone trying to kill me or take the food without a qualm. Hmm, no partner here, either, baby! I will survive! (He's also pretty good with the tool set and managing mutual funds, so he's the total package. And military! We're lucky women, ladies.)
Posted by: Oda Mae at February 23, 2008 08:04 AM (zqqb6)
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Well, I handle the finances. and I have moved myself, so I'm darn sure that I know I can heavy lift if I NEED to. Like, if the world is ending or something and all that will save us is airforcewife moving that refrigerator ten feet on a dolly.
But the point is that AFG does the heavy lifting here, too. And not because I'm some incapable, sheltered woman unable to care for myself, but because I like to watch him get all sweaty and have his muscles sticking out. And it makes my life a LOT easier that way.
I LIKE cooking. I don't like diagnosing whatever's wrong with my minivan. I don't even like having a minivan. So the husband does that. He also puts my software on the computer, doctored my hurt toe this morning with his medic kit (very cool, that), and is teaching me krav maga.
I know, I'm preaching to the choir here. But there is a reason that men evolved to do "manly" things. And I'm so darn glad that I have a manly husband! And with such a pushy, bossy wife, my husband has to be extra manly. Rowwrrrr!
Posted by: airforcewife at February 23, 2008 09:28 AM (mIbWn)
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You know, I have to add that I really can't stand the people who hear how we've chosen to divide labor in my house and make comments about how I must be "held back" or something. Have these people never met me?
Right. Spend an evening with AFG and AFW and then tell me I'm being kept down and marginalized.
Psshw.
Posted by: airforcewife at February 23, 2008 09:31 AM (mIbWn)
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Yes, when the shize hits the fan, I want Hubs there to perform all his heroics.
I will say, however, that when the man runs the Dyson, empties the dishwasher, does some laundry or handles a child's needs...well, I find that pretty heroic too b/c it means that is one thing off my plate. Very sexy.
Posted by: Guard Wife at February 23, 2008 12:25 PM (BslEQ)
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My dad often complains about the emasculation of men on most popular TV shows these days – they're portrayed as idiots living in the shadow of these powerful, all-knowing, longsuffering women, and it drives him crazy!
He speculated one day as to whether that kind of mindset in society drives more young men to the military, so they can do more "manly" things (he spent 23 years in the Navy before the politics drove him out). It makes sense – my husband got tired of the rat race after being laid off for the third time in as many years and enlisted – and has never been happier with his job, even though he spends more time at a desk now than he used to as a computer tech.
Unfortunately, he won't kill spiders for me anymore. It has something to do with me having my own shotgun and an orange belt in Shaolin Kempo, and his belief that any of his targets should be at 300 meters (feet?) or more . . . But he always opens my door for me and will do the dishes and vacuuming if I ask him to, so I guess I can let that slide.
He's a manly-man to me, and I would NEVER do anything to let him forget it.
Posted by: deltasierra at February 24, 2008 07:11 PM (7uphd)
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My name is Sig, and I fully endorse the preceding message.
Sig
Posted by: Sig at February 25, 2008 06:24 AM (815Xj)
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February 22, 2008
GO DO THINGS
Along with registering my gripes with
travel, I hereby register my gripes with Doing Stuff. Apparently a completely fulfilling life of staying in your cozy home watching movies that have been deposited in your mailbox is "uncool." We have to Go Somewhere and Do Stuff in order to be having A Good Time.
Lileks, of course:
But in the great middle expanse of your life, you not only want to spread out, you want to be left alone, and this is taking on the characteristic of an anti-social sentiment. You should be walking around the dense neighborhood window-shopping and eating at small fusion restaurants. You should be engaged. If you want to watch a quality foreign film, good, but you should not watch it home; you should walk down to the corner theater and see it in a room full of other people, and nevermind that the start time is inconvenient and you canÂ’t pause it to go pee and the fellow in the row behind you is aerating the atmosphere with tubercular sputum. This is how they do things in New York.
Apparently there's a movie theater in town where you can see a movie over dinner and drinks; you sit at tables and they serve you food while the movie is playing. Or something like that, I've never been. But another hip young couple here is always telling us that we should be Doing Things like going to this innovative movie theater, or schlepping to the big city to go out to dinner, or heading to the beach to surf, or doing yoga, or whatever else they do with all their free time. People look at us like we're freaks when we say we've never been to the big city that's an hour away, that we've never been to the beach, that we don't eat out in restaurants. Apparently we'd have "so much fun, and it'd be romantic too" spending fifty bucks for a dinner I can make at home. And what knitter wants to watch a movie whilst eating food? Movies were invented to help knitters feel less idle; I've gotten good enough that I can watch a movie with subtitles while knitting from a chart, but I still can't do much in the darkness of a movie theater. And certainly not with a plate of food in front of me.
Nevermind that we own French, Swedish, Korean, and Serbian movies and have animated discussions about Obama and deficit spending over our homecooked meals; life is not fulfilling unless you leave the house. The looks I get from people my age indicated that we're simply not cool if we don't Go Do Things.
Call me uncool then.
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Call me uncool too! People are always saying: isn't it boring living in the small city after leaving the metropolis of Los Angeles? Um, no...Netflix still has a 1 2 day turn-around, Walmart and Target are down the road...and now I just feel less guilty about being a homebody, because I pretend to lament that there is less "to do" around here.
By the way, $50 on a meal: we went to Outback for dinner once, because we were in a mood of "we have to go out for dinner, because we need to get out of the house"...that dinner cost us $50...and it was so disappointing that it has become more ammunition for our homebody selves: $50 on crappy food. Everytime we spend near $50, we say: well, it is better spent than dinner at Outback.
Plus, like you say: why go out to hang out with your bestfriend and have to behave all proper, and avoid certain topics of conversation, when you can stay in, and both fart, joke about dumb people on TV and be happy at home on the sofa?
Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at February 22, 2008 01:17 PM (U2RJu)
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It's just my observation, but I've concluded that people who are less content with their lives need more outside stimulation/entertainment, need to spend money for others to cater to them in some way - movies, concerts, food, experiences.
You seem very settled, content, happy, and continually challenged to me. I love reading your blog about all these topics.
You have nothing to explain or apologize for.
Homebodies rule! I believe they have the richest inner lives and that is what matters most!
Posted by: Amy at February 22, 2008 06:00 PM (I9LMv)
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It took some thinking for me to reply to this. Deep thinking...
I came to the conclusion that this thing of having to go do things is a little bit of not growing up. The idea of having to be out and about and with the right people in the right places is in my opinion, just a little bit juvenile, high schoolish, or in another word sophomoric. Many people keep this up into their 70's and older. Speaking as a homebody who never really liked going out for the sake of going out, I just don't get it. Never have. I've never been to Vegas and have never wanted to go there. I am not one to go to "shows", not even the movies. If it comes on TV I might sit through the whole thing, might not. Hmmm.... maybe I am a stick in the mud. But hey, wanna come listen to the whooping cranes with me?
That's when I get excited. And I can hear them outside, everyday. That's why I like home.
Posted by: Ruth H at February 23, 2008 12:34 PM (hBAQy)
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February 21, 2008
COMPROMISE REVISITED
John Hawkins has a good post up today called
Conservatism: Principles and Power. One section that caught my eye was this:
We've also gotten way off the tracks on the "purity" issue. There's this sense that if conservatism gets more pure, if we can just get rid of the RINOS, we can dominate again -- but that's not true. When a political party is losing, they need to find ways to draw more people into the tent, not throw people out.
I've been reading many comments sections these days, so I'm sorry that I can't remember where I read this. But someone was complaining that the Religious Right gets all the focus as the base of the Republican Party. He said (paraphrase), "As a fiscal conservative, when will I finally be accepted as part of 'the base'?" I completely relate to this. I want to know when my worries about spending will matter as much as others' worries about the sanctity of marriage. Pres. Bush (pbuh) has been running around like a teen with his dad's credit card, but all the questions at the YouTube debate were about which parts of the Bible the candidates take literally. I just don't freaking care.
In another comment thread the other day (sorry, don't remember where I saw this either), Democrats kept saying that the reason they need to defeat John McCain is so he won't overturn Roe v Wade. Honestly, that is so far from my mind right now that it made me snicker. I would prefer that abortion be left up to the states, but this issue is not at all a priority for me in voting. I am worried about the war and about spending. Period.
Hawkins is right when he goes on to say:
We should always be asking ourselves, "How can we reach out to more Americans?" How can we apply our principles in different areas to reach larger blocks of voters? What new solutions can we come up with to the problems that the American people are concerned about? In some of these areas, we've done a good job. In others, we haven't.
Solutions. We need real ideas, and realistic ideas, especially on spending. I remember how thrilled I was when Pres. Bush was talking about reforming social security back in 2004. I was beside myself with excitement at the time, but it went nowhere. And I think the Democrats are deluding themselves over health care the same way we did over social security four years ago; it's just not going to happen. Or at least it's not going to happen the way they want it to.
I remember hearing John McCain in one of the first debates getting hammered for the immigration bill, and he got an exasperated look on his face and tried to explain that it wasn't a perfect bill, it wasn't even something that he personally was all that thrilled about, but that you have to make concessions and compromises in order to get anything done in Congress. And I felt for him in that moment. It's so easy for those of us on the outside to point fingers at Congress about what they should and shouldn't be doing, but we don't have to sit in the same room as Nancy Pelosi and try to hammer out solutions. Can we even have any idea how hard that must be?
Most people don't like McCain because he is too willing to work with the other side, but that's how you get more people in the tent. And I quoted Lileks yesterday on compromise; I do believe that it's folly to compromise on your major principles. But if Congress is at a roughly 50/50 split, there's no way a MoveOn.org idea nor a Pon Raul idea is going to pass the vote. The solutions will have to be somewhere in the middle.
Which is why I think that the most important thing is for Republicans to get seriously better at explaining how their positions help people. Read a Thomas Sowell book and you have all the info you need, in layman's terms, to show people how economic ideas that are typically labeled "Republican" are the better choice. So why don't our Republican politicians do this? Steal from Sowell if you must; I bet he wouldn't mind! But make people realize that all these feel-good ideas the Dems come up with -- everything for everyone, free! -- are nonsense. Help people think beyond stage one. Show them that a clean environment is good but Kyoto will cripple us, that more affordable health care is within our reach if we let the free market take its course, or that a higher minimum wage means we get our hours cut. Arm the voters with knowledge and the tides will shift, and when Congress tips in our favor, we have to make less concessions and compromises.
We need to stop letting Democrats get away with "stage one thinking" and start pulling more people into our tent. Why are the same people thrilled that Lieberman moved slightly right of center but appalled over John McCain? There should be plenty of room on our side for both of them, for everyone.
Micklethwait and Wooldridge said that our country is steadily getting more conservative. I'd really like to believe that. But I think we could give it a little push if we got better at explaining our solutions.
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I left a comment related to this topic yesterday on your Obama post but the site didn't process it. I completely agree. I was a big fan of Guiliani, yet another Republican the so-called "hard right" of the party groaned about for months for being too moderate. I had a hard time understanding this because in my mind, if he was eager to lower taxes, cut entitlement spending, and get aggressive on defense and national security, he was a great candidate. The very socially conservative wing of the party wants to be the party's identity and are now doing everything possible to ensure a democratic win (in my opinion) by bashing McCain at every available opportunity. I think the reality is that many Republicans don't relate any more to the evangelical right than many democrats do...but they care deeply about out-of-control spending, suffocating taxes, and terrorism.
Posted by: Nicole at February 21, 2008 04:41 PM (YHVU/)
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Good post Sarah.
“We need to stop letting Democrats get away with "stage one thinking" and start pulling more people into our tent.”
I totally agree with that. I’ll never understand why “we” let “them” continually drag the debate into nonsense.
However, your next line “Why are the same people thrilled that Lieberman moved slightly right of center but appalled over John McCain? Is easy to explain, Lieberman is liberal D Senator who is hawkish, McCain is a R trying to claim he’s a conservative while running for president but he is not. Kind’a apple/oranges stuff. (BTW, I’ll be voting for the Maverick.)
Posted by: tim at February 22, 2008 07:53 AM (nno0f)
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DUELING DOGGIES
I don't know...CaliValleyGirl's new puppy is
awful cute, but my loyalties lie with ol' Charles here.
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