CaliValleyGirl said she often wants to run off and start her own country. Here's another reason to join her:

Presidential hopeful Hillary Rodham Clinton outlined a broad economic vision Tuesday, saying it's time to replace an "on your own" society with one based on shared responsibility and prosperity.

The Democratic senator said what the Bush administration touts as an ownership society really is an "on your own" society that has widened the gap between rich and poor.

"I prefer a 'we're all in it together' society," she said. "I believe our government can once again work for all Americans. It can promote the great American tradition of opportunity for all and special privileges for none."

That means pairing growth with fairness, she said, to ensure that the middle-class succeeds in the global economy, not just corporate CEOs.

"There is no greater force for economic growth than free markets. But markets work best with rules that promote our values, protect our workers and give all people a chance to succeed," she said. "Fairness doesn't just happen. It requires the right government policies.

Great googily moogily. That's an extremely scary worldview.

Of course "fairness doesn't just happen," because what people like Clinton want is fairness of result. And that requires that the government rig the system so that overachievers can't get rich and dumb people don't get poor. What's "fair" about the United States is that anyone who works hard can get rich, or at least move up the economic scale. Just ask the Combodian donut makers, who own upwards of 90% of donut shops in California. They came to this country, invested in a business where they could be successful, and work their tails off:

“It’s not easy work at all. As a family we are working seven days a week, the store is open 24 hours, and we have no family time. It’s tiring,” said a 26-year-old Chinese American who requested anonymity.

No one offered to make things more fair for these people. They came to the US and worked, instead of expecting the government to help them live. And they did it "on their own." I know several people from countries like Poland and Bulgaria who came to the US with the money in their pockets and worked like the dickens to earn every cent they have. If they can do it, anyone can. On their own.

They tried the "'we're all in it together' society" before; it was called the U.S.S.R. And it failed miserably because not everyone wants to work as hard as a Cambodian donut cutter. Is Hilary Clinton really silly-brained enough to think that this is the direction the US should take?

Hey, Cali, if we start this new country, I want the Cambodians to come with us.
Donuts rule.

Posted by: Sarah at 12:56 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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The flippant deal is still bothering me a bit. I don't think I've ever heard the words "Sarah" and "flippant" used in the same sentence in my life, so I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. I think that's the worst insult she could've given me, considering how seriously I take motherhood. I went to her site and did a search on the word pregnancy, and I read about her miscarriage. It sounds awful, and I am deeply sorry that she had to go through this. But can't she have any sympathy for me? I'm almost 30 and I don't have any children, and I want one. She has children; can't she understand why I would be sad that I am not pregnant? And how could she possibly accuse me of being "flippant" about pregnancy when she wrote this post about being pregnant?

The only person who has moral authority over this blog is Heidi Sims. The other day I wrote a post about how great my husband is; you think that makes her feel good to read that? But she didn't feel the need to comment and say what a jerk I am. Trust me, I think about her every time I post about my so-called troubles, ever since the day when I was moaning about my husband being the last one home from Iraq, she was there to give me an attagirl. Carren Ziegenfuss always says that every person's life is different and you are only responsible for dealing with the troubles you have; you don't have to constantly feel bad that your husband has all ten fingers. I do constantly feel bad about those things, and I feel it in this situation too. I feel for people who really do have infertility issues. I feel for people who have lost children. I don't need a commenter to point out what a jerk I am for not prefacing posts about my life with disclaimers that I know my problems aren't real problems. I am already well aware of that, thankyouverymuch. But they're the problems on my plate, and this is where I deal with them.

Posted by: Sarah at 08:32 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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1 I've been reading your blog for quite a while, and you do not strike me at all as a flippant person.

Posted by: david foster at May 31, 2007 11:02 AM (gguM0)

2 Sarah- I didn't think you were being flippant, and I know you weren't. But we can't always control what others want to see in words that affect them. I've spent an awful lot of my life having things I say misconstrued - sometimes willfully misconstrued because someone wanted to see something whether it was there or not. It's one of the dangers of speaking/writing in a way that others want to read. If you were un-engaging or boring, no one would be here to read what you write about your path to growing your family. Using sarcasm or other methods to try to take the "sting" out of something that is affecting you deeply is healthy -- for you. And for me. And for many people. But not for everyone. Things will happen for you when they are supposed to happen, and not before. It would be nice to have been given a road map of our destiny when we are born, but we aren't. There is no law that says you aren't allowed to deal with your frustrations in the best way possible for your own health and sanity. In retrospect, I would have to say if anyone was flippant, it was my email to you about the fun of trying for a baby vs. the horrors of dieting. Both things I am intimately familiar with. So, feel free to pass me the Flippant Queen title so you can take a load off.

Posted by: airforcewife at May 31, 2007 12:49 PM (0dU3f)

3 move over AFW, I wanna be The Queen of Flippant. You may be funnier at it...can we share? Yes, one of the bad things about the Blogosphere.. I call it Lost in Translation. For example, I am hilarious in person....not so much on the blog... (that was sarcasm for those that missed it) Also can I move to Brits country?

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at May 31, 2007 01:11 PM (6nWEM)

4 Sarah, We tried for just shy of a year to get pregnant and had given up. I was even sceduled for surgery to look for endo when by chance I peed on a stick because my boobs wouldn't fit into my bra yet I had lost 10 lbs. Viola the boy Oz is now on his way! Everyting you said in your original post was exactly how I felt. I cursed the OPK kits, I cursed the thermometer as I took my temp every morning and I cursed my period every time it showed....Basically a swore A LOT! Each person deals with their life's disappointments differently, mine is with sarcastic humor, you seem to be very methodical and presistent (with a slight twist of sarcasm). Doesn't make either one bad or good it just makes one mine and one yours. If this poster can't handle your way of dealing with YOUR life's issues then she needs to get her own blast life. SEESH, maybe you can buy her a sense of humor. PS - Boff like bunnies during R&R, even if you don't get pregnant then either at least you had a really good time.

Posted by: Household6 at May 31, 2007 02:20 PM (q1ZbX)

5 Wow, I hardly know what to say. I started blogging recently and have often wondered if I offended anyone with what I write. I read and reread your post trying to find something flippant. The first time I got pregnant it took two months and every time I got my period I cried. It is all about perspective and others should not judge you for yours. In addition to the fact that deployments put a ton of pressure on family time lines. Perhaps some of your readers need to be reminded that Army deployments last 12-15 months now, which really screws up family planning. I love reading your blog, keep it up!!!

Posted by: Sarah at May 31, 2007 03:37 PM (Ww52B)

6 I have been reading and lurking for awhile now and i have not seen you as flippant. If anything I find it reassuring and so very funny. I am one of the people who has never had a problem getting pregant and when I read your post about how hard it has been on you I cried and wanted to give you one of mine. Really the 3 year old is yours to take. (DISCLAIMER: He is not really up for grabs. I just feel like giving him away for a few days.) Try not to let what others say who have not walked in your shoes get to you. Your heart is huge and this is your blog. You put out whatever you want and tell the ones who don't get it to "Bite me!!"

Posted by: Reasa at May 31, 2007 05:52 PM (JfF5d)

7 Opinions are like assholes, yes? And as I said in my comment, I have tried to comment before, only to have it kicked back. It wasn't just this particular post, and as I said in my comment, I am sure that you don't mean to come across that way.... The miscarriage post that I made over a year ago? That was the first of three miscarriages. I am not looking for sympathy, it happens. I understand more than anyone wanting to have babies and having windows of opportunity, and I have been reading you for a long time.... I think that what I SHOULD HAVE SAID was that it's not that easy sometimes to get pregnant, and there's only 12 times a year.... And when you finally are pregnant, it's no joke.... It's also not time to celebrate because it's just the beginning. I do have sympathy for you.... I hope that you never have a bad experience or a shitty pregnancy, but it happens to other people all the time.... And thinking that it's going to be easy? Well, it's not. Thinking that bad things happen to other people, not you. Talking about being a mom and being a mom are different, too. You can think that you are going to do it right, make the best decisions, read the right books.... You had a previous post about the "What to Expect..." books and the Q&A sections.... I felt you were pretty harsh with a know-it-all attitude about the women and the questions they were asking. I'm not going to research the post. To me you are coming across as a very bright woman who doesn't understand a "surprise" pregnancy. You plan for it, through control... But there are few of us that have that much planning sense. And like I said, I will leave it at that. I'm sure that I overreacted and now have this overreaction back at me.... Rereading things from me, posted a year, almost two, that were almost gone for me.... I am bummed that you didn't hit your window. Going through pregnancy alone isn't easy, either. For obvious reasons.... Guess I deserved that.

Posted by: allicadem at May 31, 2007 06:01 PM (wkFhu)

8 PHHHHT. Let me translate - compared to doom and gloom, nothing is easy, "it's not a time to celebrate" oracle addicadem, you ARE flippant. Thank God for that!

Posted by: Oda Mae at May 31, 2007 08:52 PM (wK887)

9 Sarah, I've been reading your blog for 3 years now and I've never known you to be flippant. As far as pregnancy goes, it took us 2 years to get pregnant with our first. And, like a cliche, we got pregnant right after I returned from a deployment (along with half the other couples in the Brigade, it seems). I know it's frustrating when you want to start a family and nothing happens, but don't give up. At the same time, don't take away from enjoying your time together. Good luck!

Posted by: Chadd at June 01, 2007 03:25 AM (roGJq)

10 I really appreciated your post. My husband and I have been trying since January. Although we don't have the time concerns that you do (with your husband being gone), it's still frustrating and sad. The reason I really appreciated your post is that we're not telling anyone that we're trying, and as all of our friends get pregnant, and I get another period, it's just nice to know, that even though I don't know you and you have no idea who I am, I'm not alone. Thank you!!!!

Posted by: Majik8 at June 01, 2007 05:58 AM (Lbvh6)

11 Her comments speak volumes about her, not about you, especially since no one seems to be agreeing with you being flippant. Sarah, only you can know what is best for you and your family. I see you trying to do that. You are obviously not going into this pregnancy and motherhood blindly. You are trying to set yourself up for success. It is so clear that you want this so badly, that you did pour your heart into that post, that only a person with a great deal of emotional baggage, own personal suffering, and an apparent lack of a self-edit button would call you or your post flippant. I can understand how that hurts you deeply. Even more surprising to me . . . she didn't apologize, but tried to justify her position and blunt comments further. Salt to the insult on top of injury. That's just bad behavior. It is your blog. Post what you like. It looks like you have lots of supporters here who care about you and struggles to get pregnant. I'm sorry that this isn't coming easy for you. Take care of yourself. And here's a big hug.

Posted by: Butterfly Wife at June 01, 2007 08:16 AM (RX8Nf)

12 Very few people understand...perspective. I know you do. Having a baby alone...twice, not much fun. Especially since we waited 10 years. (yes, we are planners, and guess what, it is important to plan the arrival of a human to our planet!) And so while my Mother was in ICU, and I was at her bedside finally pregnant.....I watched the twin towers fall, and knew I would be alone, for the birth. I am not sure if there is a perfect time or place, or way to have a baby. And looking back, it was ok. I sure learned a lot about myself. I am terribly baddass. Would I have preferred to have DH there after 10 years of WAITING, you bet your ass on it. But I guess The Lord thought there was a more important lesson for me to learn. I learned it TWICE! So enjoy....and this post will probably comfort people tremendously. People in OUR position, or other couples trying, so there is that. Moral authority, no one knows your life until they have lived it... So continue with baby quest 2007, and enjoy!

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at June 01, 2007 10:13 AM (6nWEM)

13 "...that only a person with a great deal of emotional baggage, own personal suffering, and an apparent lack of a self-edit button..." "...she didn't apologize, but tried to justify her position and blunt comments further." Mom? Is that you? Just kidding. Was I being flippant? I am entitled to my opinion as is everyone else here in the blog'o'sphere. I'm sorry how you reacted to what I said.... How's that for an apology? Sarah.... I do apologize for hurting your feelings. I hope that we can move on (not moveon.org). But if you were a little sore from 'flippant' I got it tenfold! POW! POW! WHAM! I remember Tammi getting a crappy response from a post -- you should have seen the turnout of defense! Take it easy. Drink some wine. Listen to some Barry White. I heard that works.....

Posted by: allicadem at June 01, 2007 01:03 PM (wkFhu)

14 Yeah, AlliCadem, you got it with both barrels. But I think it's because people thought you took a cheap shot. Like I said in my email, your argument might have some merit, but you wrapped it in such an insulting bow. No hard feelings. We squash it right now.

Posted by: Sarah at June 01, 2007 05:10 PM (vrR+j)

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Some people are just complete and utter freaks. Wendy's manager shot over chili sauce
What on earth is wrong with people?

Posted by: Sarah at 04:55 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Flippant? I got called "flippant" in my attitude towards having a baby. Ouch.

I poured my heart into that post. I cried the whole time I wrote it. I think I'm anything but flippant about having a baby.

How many times have I called my mother, ArmyWifeToddlerMom, Angie, Erin, Kelly, Erin, and many others to ask questions about motherhood? To talk about how scared I am about taking this step in our life? How many conversations have CaliValleyGirl and I had about our own childhoods and which lessons we want to pass on to our future children?

This is practically the only topic my husband and I discuss anymore: how to foster upstanding human beings. We waited five years to get to this point, to make sure we were absolutely ready. And every day we get excited and extremely nervous about what the future holds. We know we don't have all the answers. But we're at the point where we're ready to try.

Cut me some freaking slack that now that we're ready, I want it to happen.

I sometimes forget that things don't always come off perfectly in written form. I forget that people who know me from the internet don't always really know me. But that comment came from someone whose blog I really liked, whose thoughts and ideas I always appreciated even if I didn't agree with them. That comment really, really stung.

Yes, I know that not getting pregnant for four months is not the worst thing that can happen to someone. Duh, I could write the book on Perspective. Every month as I cry, my husband reminds me that everything is OK and that we still have room for hope. I constantly think of people like my friend Kelly who have no hope and I ache inside. Trying to get pregnant and failing is the most humbling experience I've ever had, because it makes me really put my self in some painful shoes. I can't imagine doing this for years.

I'm sorry if I offended you with my "flippant" attitude towards the most important thing I've ever done in my entire life. I have no idea how that came across. But I do wish you'd kept your mouth shut, because I don't think you know me very well.

(Update here.)

Posted by: Sarah at 03:04 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Tonight while cleaning up after dinner, I knocked over and broke a wine glass and one of my nice plates, and then less than two minutes later I put a steak knife into my finger.

Not a good day.

Posted by: Sarah at 12:49 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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A while back I wrote on SpouseBUZZ about the agony of trying to have a baby when you're in a race against deployments.

We've now officially missed our window.

Funny how when I was growing up I was led to believe that sex leads to pregnancy. Young girls are reminded over and over of teen pregnancy, thus I have been a birth control nazi from day one. And now I've seen this myth crumbling before my eyes, as I've just spent the last four months charting my temperature and counting days and worrying about egg-white mucus and absolutely failing at making a baby. All the horror stories about getting pregnant from a toilet seat, for pete's sake, feel pretty freaking absurd when you can't even do it when you're trying your hardest.

Every 28 days I feel like the world's biggest loser.

Today we've learned again that we've been unsuccessful, but I guess now the pressure of the race against time is off: my husband becomes deployable again in nine months. Barring a wonderful surprise, we now are pretty much guaranteed he won't be here for the birth of our baby. Hell, that's assuming we will ever be successful. At this point I'm so frustrated that I don't know what to think anymore.

My mom, bless her heart, keeps telling me to relax, that stress can prevent you from getting pregnant. I know she's got a point, but making a baby is pretty darned scientific too. Way more scientific than I was ever led to believe during sex ed classes. I've learned a lot about my body over the past few months, knowledge I wouldn't have if I'd gotten pregnant right away, for which I am indeed thankful. But with this knowledge comes the annoyed feeling that if we're doing everything right on the right days, why isn't this working?

Now I guess we can just throw up our hands and relax. It doesn't make a whit of difference whether I have a baby on my husband's third month of deployment or his sixth. Either way, we've missed out on something very important to me: his presence by my side in the hospital.

Posted by: Sarah at 08:53 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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1 I'm really sorry to hear about this...I know that I am no replacement for the father being at the birth, but I will come hold your hand and help you through.

Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at May 29, 2007 09:31 AM (deur4)

2 Sarah - I don't even know you (though I feel like I do from reading), but this brings tears to my eyes. I have a number of friends who have gone thru similar issues with conceiving, but none of them have faced the date of potential deployment on the horizon. I hope that everything works out for you, and that your husband will be by your side during delivery. Do you have an ovulation predictor kit? Do you know for sure you are ovulating? I have several friends who used those & they "helped" alot. Thinking of you - Keri

Posted by: Keri at May 29, 2007 09:49 AM (l3uZP)

3 Yes, we take a pill for years so we won't get pregnant, and then many of us have to turn to drugs so we WILL get pregnant. Crazy ... I can't help you out with the deployment issue, but ... I know you have been told this a THOUSAND times, but I believe it really is true. My husband and I tried for a year to get pregnant - doing the ovulation kit (which was NEVER positive), etc, etc. We had been told from the beginning that it probably would not happen naturally for us. We decided to adopt and had just started researching the process when - you guessed it - the monthly pregnancy test was FINALLY positive. The second time around, we said, eh, we'll give it a shot and if it happens it happens. No counting days or predicting hormone levels, etc. A month later, I was pregnant. I'm not saying I know how you feel or that it will happen for you no matter what, I'm just saying that sometimes things do work out. Hope that long ramble helped in some small way! blogs.tampabay.com/standingby

Posted by: Jan Wesner at May 29, 2007 03:43 PM (5EgLa)

4 I echo the "ovualtion predictor kit"...It works! Best of luck and relax...I know that it is hard, but a baby is the best blessing and when he or she arrives, you will forget the months of trying and will only remember that he or she has finally arrived.

Posted by: StephanieBerndt at May 29, 2007 04:26 PM (+bp0U)

5 I hate to say it, but I'm with your mom. *grin* First of all, it's much much easier to get pregnant the younger you are. Second, I haven't looked at any studies, but it just makes sense that if you've been using pills to mess about with your hormones - it will take a while to "unmess" them... maybe up to a year or more depending on the woman. Third, you are very analytical (much like me) doing everything in a certain way and orderly is natural to you - makes you feel like you have some control over your life. And while I know you'll have a hard time doing this... let it go. The best thing to learn when you have kids is that there are some things you can't control. Things can and do happen when you least expect it. Things go right and wrong exactly when they shouldn't. And if everything goes exactly to plan every step of the way at this stage... you will (without even realizing it) set impossible standards for a child. It's just too tempting as a parent to want to try and control everything in their lives to make it "perfect". It never ever works. So, put away your kits, stop worrying about when and where and most of all - enjoy being with your husband!!! Be together, be happy. The rest will work itself out. It won't be perfect - so enjoy the imperfections. Make your time with your husband count. You two as a unit are the most important thing - even after the baby comes. You two strong and in love will do more for your baby than anything else you ever do! Stop "trying" and start living. Enjoy yourself. Things will fall into place. Really they will. And if you absolutely MUST do something... set a date on your calendar of a year from now - see where you are, see what's happening. Don't even look at it until it comes up on your calendar next year.

Posted by: Teresa at May 29, 2007 04:41 PM (gsbs5)

6 Ughhh... Sarah, There are few people that really honestly deserve the honor of guidig small people on the planet. You and your DH, will get the honor....puke and all to be sure... Enjoy practicing while there is not the pitter patter of little fat feet in the house.....Use every available space you will not be able to once a small child comes into play. Have fun, and let DH sweep dishes off of the kitchen table!

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at May 29, 2007 05:20 PM (Eygv8)

7 I have no kids and no practical experience on this topic. But it breaks my heart to see people like you who doing everything you can to have children and for whatever reason, it just isn't happening on your time schedule. I'm with AWTM, practice everywhere you can. Just see how much practice you can get in before he deploys. And remember that the practice is supposed to be fun and not "work". I bet anything, it will work for you. best wishes.

Posted by: Butterfly Wife at May 30, 2007 05:00 PM (RX8Nf)

8 Some people try for years to get pregnant. Some people never get pregnant. I can't help but be somewhat offended by your flippant attitude at pregnancy and parenthood. I'm sure you probably don't mean to come across that way, but I have typed lengthy responses to you numerous times and each time, for whatever reason, it was never posted -- too much spam, computer takes a crap.... Maybe it was a sign?!? I should keep my mouth shut.... Pregnancy and parenthood is the most humbling and embarrassing experience.... Ever. You think you have all the answers and do everything "right" but guess what? You don't. And it won't. And not to be the biggest bummer, but some of us *finally* get pregnant, only to miscarry over and over. I'm sorry that you want to be pregnant right this second, but seriously? I have such a terrible time reading your posts about parenting and pregnancy.... I'll leave it at that.

Posted by: allicadem at May 30, 2007 05:46 PM (wkFhu)

9 Allicadem, If you have such a difficult time reading her posts about parenting and pregnancy, then don't read them! She knows waiting four months is not a very long time in the grand scheme of things, but it certainly doesn't take away from her disappointment each monh. I hope you rethink your post to her. She's really a very sensitive, caring person.

Posted by: Nancy at May 31, 2007 08:13 AM (mfwPj)

10 Hi! I just started reading your blog a week ago, so nice to "meet" you! I got married at 17, and Dh and I started trying for a baby a year later. It took us 10 months to get pregnant! At the time I thought all he would have to do was look at me to get pregnant, but it didn't happen that way. I even went to a docctor to get checked out, I started to really worry that something was wrong. But after 10 months I got 2 blue lines! With my second child it took 4 months, and with 3 and 4 it only took 1. It almost seemed like it took my body a few babies to "get the hang of it". Try not to stress too much and enjoy the trying!

Posted by: bunchkin at May 31, 2007 11:22 AM (KAM6m)

11 I'm so sorry to hear that it's been such a trouble. I got no advice (no vast well of experience from which to draw, haha!). But I also have no doubt that it will eventually happen, just maybe not on your time table. Yeah, that's not your style. But hang in there. *hugs*

Posted by: FbL at June 01, 2007 09:57 PM (TXlt9)

12 Im sort of late in commenting on this post and was a little upset at the "flippant" comment. I still wanted to say, I'm sorry you missed your window. I'll be praying God comforts you and continues to prepare you for motherhood. I'm believing for you, that you will get pregnant. As I've heard it said: You do all you can do and then......Let Go and Let God. ...and Im with AWTM! *big hug*

Posted by: Navy Wife Wendy at June 04, 2007 07:18 PM (CfMHF)

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Peter Collier at OpinionJournal writes

The New York Times, which featured Abu Ghraib on its front page for 32 consecutive days, put the story of Dunham's Medal of Honor on the third page of section B.

He goes on to share with us some of the stories of past Medal of Honor recipients. Even if you've never followed a single link I've ever posted here, I want you to go read this article.

A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man, indeed.

Posted by: Sarah at 08:21 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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This evening we went to a nice local Memorial Day service. Actually, we almost didn't make it. I thought I knew which park it was at, but I was mistaken. We drove around for a long time trying to figure out where it was in town. I nearly gave up, but the last place we looked was correct. My husband teased me that I was ready to cut and run.

The ceremony was simple but nice. A local 8th grader read a lovely essay he wrote for the VFW's Patriot's Pen essay contest. And there's something completely humbling about being in the presence of POWs. I got choked up every time I looked at their group.

This year I don't quite have anything poetic to say about Memorial Day. But that doesn't mean that certain families haven't been on my mind all day long. This year I'll leave the poetry to PFC Becker:

We are soldiers.
We are soldiers in the United States Army.
We are trained to be all we can be.

We fight for the freedom of many citizens of the United States.
We are all ready to meet our fates.

We all volunteer to defend the red, white and blue.
Not only the flag, but for the citizens of our great country too.

Since our country's birth for all these years,
we have been trained to be the best on Earth.

Many times we have went to war.
We will be involved in many more.

Generation by generation soldiers continue to enlist.
Some of us will got to war and definitely be missed.

Some soldiers will return and some won't.
Those who do not, we won't forget and we hope you don't.

Many of us are going to Iraq.
Some of us won't be coming back.

We have loved ones we are leaving behind.
They will always be in our prayers, hearts and mind.

If we don't make it home safely at the end of the war,
just remember we died defending the beliefs of those of many more.

---PFC Gunnar Becker, November 2003

Posted by: Sarah at 01:34 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I think MSN did a pretty good job on this comprehensive article on military pay and benefits.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:39 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I found a new blog today called The Shield of Achilles. He had a link to the story behind his blog's name, which comes from the design on Achilles' shield in The Illiad:

The engravings include two cities, one at peace and one at war. In the city at Peace, a man had been murdered, and an argument was ensuing over payment of blood-money. In the city at war, besiegers were divided over either sacking the city, or allowing it to pay a tribute for peace. Among other messages, one was clear: Times of War and Peace are both filled with conflict. Moreover, wartime is not always evil and peacetime is not always virtuous; while there is suffering in War, there is also courage, heroism and honor, and during times of Peace there is still murder, cowardice, and greed. Even people negotiating Peace sometimes have self-serving aims.

This is just genius. What a fabulous name for a blog.

One thing that has always frustrated me is the naive idea people have that war is the opposite of peace. All the people who want to Bring the Troops Home Now seem to think that if there's not officially a war going on, then there will be peace. But peace for whom? Before we went into Iraq in 2003, there was not peace in Iraq. There was no peace for Adnan Abdul Karim Enad, the man who tried to climb in Hans Blix's car to escape Iraq. There was no peace for the children who filled jails or the folks who went through a plastic shredder. There was no peace for the women raped by Uday or the families gassed by Saddam. Just because we weren't there, it doesn't mean everyone was flying kites and eating gumdrops.

Conversely, there's no "war" going on in North Korea or Zimbabwe, but I'm not sure I'd want to live in their "peace" either. France is at peace, but that doesn't help you if your car is set on fire during the night. And peace didn't do much for Pim Fortuyn either.

There will always be terrible, awful, inhumane, horrific things going on in the world. Most of them don't fall neatly under the bumper-sticker label of war. There is no such thing as peace; there's just calms between the storms.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:43 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Good article written by a Muslim: How to end 'Islamophobia'

Islamophobia could end when masses of Muslims demonstrate in the streets against videos displaying innocent people being beheaded with the same vigor we employ against airlines, Israel and cartoons of Muhammad.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:02 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Once I got on a roll crocheting borders on my colored squares, I really got into it. I sewed the squares together as I went, so I could avoid having to do all the sewing at the end. Et voilà. I am really happy with how this project turned out. Charlie agreed to model the blanket, since he did such a good job last time. He's so funny the way he averts his eyes any time we hold up the camera. He hates looking directly at it and will rotate his head any which way to avoid it.

Now if we just had a baby to wrap in the blanket...

Posted by: Sarah at 08:09 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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This article on illegal immigration is excellent: The Promise of Home

Posted by: Sarah at 05:22 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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At the Milblogs Conference, Andi decided to kill me with her first question. I was expecting softballs, and instead I got a fastball at the head. She quoted an old blog post back to me, and I swear that for the first ten seconds of her speaking, I had no idea what she was talking about. I didn't recognize the writing as my own, and I completely panicked. As she read the very end of the post, I finally figured out what I had written, and then I had two seconds to react. I think I reacted poorly, so I'd like to revisit the question here.

Andi wanted to know what was going through my head when I wrote about this:

My husband's visible discomfort that he might not have another opportunity to put to use all he learned in Iraq, all he has digested and mulled over for two years, stands in stark contrast to the Iraqi quoted in this article:

“What was I going to wait for that would keep me on the force?” said Mohammed Humadi, a police captain who quit in August after one of his commanders was killed and beheaded. “Nothing was going to get any better. I have children, and if I were to sacrifice myself, it wouldn’t change anything.”

I struggle daily with the two opposing camps of the War in Iraq: those who say that the US has no business trying to set up a utopia halfway across the world, and those whose idealism bubbles over into dreams of playing Iraq in the World Cup. But the one thing I do know is that it's a knife in my heart that my husband would give his life for Iraq while this Iraqi would not.

I've had this feeling several times over the years, most notably one year after Saddam's statue came down. I wrote about the knife in my heart much more eloquently that year:

One year ago today, I was so happy for the Iraqis. I sat on the sofa at Fort Knox and cheered wildly as they tore that statue down. I wept for the Iraqis and their newfound freedom; now I weep for their newfound vengeance.

If you remember, the statue of Saddam wasn't the only thing to come down from that pedestal last year. The American flag an overzealous soldier hung up there was quickly taken down, lest the world think we came as conquerors. We were there to give Iraq to the Iraqis, and they've repaid us by burning our dead and hanging them from a bridge.

I felt the knife again when I saw protestors in Pakistan carrying a sign saying "Our religion does not allow unconditional freedom of speech."

The past five years have been a cycle of conviction and doubt.

I read this comments section today at Standing By, and I don't know what to say. I don't want to argue for or against the war anymore; it's just my job to help my husband as he fights it. The fact that he still wants to fight it speaks volumes to me. He's the one who's worked with Iraqis. He's the one who's been to Najaf. He's the one who has to work on cultural cross-breeding. I will defer to his opinion on this matter in nearly every case.

But the knife in the heart comes in the cold sweat of realizing that his convictions could someday take his life. The perspective comes when I realize that it's better to lose his life to convictions than to cancer, car crashes, or crap.

I struggle. I think that's jarring for some people because they want me to remain this caricature of a warmonger. The times when I express doubt about the war are the times I get the most comments from anti-war types, chipping away at my armor or jeering me for setting down my flag when my arms get tired of waving. But I'm a normal human being who thinks about issues, not just some automaton who does whatever Karl Rove says. I actually think about this war, and some days I feel stronger than others.

I assume the Iraqis do too, which is why it's not always fair to cherry-pick things to doubt.

I figure I may never know the lasting effect of Operation Iraqi Freedom. I could be long gone before we really know the legacy of the War on Terror. But I can hope, hope my husband's work will bear fruit.

And doubt some days too.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:47 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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My husband is so smart it's scary. I'm fairly certain he'd choose dinner with Benajmin Netanyahu over Superbowl tickets any day of the week. The thicker and more boring the book, the more excited he is to read it. He never ceases to frighten me with his knowledge.

My husband's brain is like a sponge, and he completely absorbs anything he thinks is important enough to notice. Several years ago, he realized that understanding this Islam Stuff was important, so he set to work learning what he could about Muslims and Arabs. Someone like me can hold her own with names like Sadr and Zawahiri and can handle basic conversations about the region, but my understanding of Islam and the War on Terror is positively pedestrian compared to my husband's. He set out to learn this stuff, and I'll be goldarned if he didn't learn it.

The Army hires college professors to teach the history and culture portions of Civil Affairs training. The other day in class, the professor admitted that my husband knows Islamic history better than he does, after my husband gently corrected him on a couple of historical points.

Because my husband thinks this knowledge is crucial, he doesn't slack off. He knows names and dates and Mohammed's lineage and tidbits I can't even begin to fathom. He knows more about Tajikistan than anyone from Missouri should ever need to know, and he's already speaking basic Farsi sentences despite the fact his language course doesn't start until September. The man is phenomenal.

Our fifth wedding anniversary is a couple weeks away, and I can't help but think about the time I heard Neal Boortz say that you don't even know what love is until you've been married for five years. I think he's right. The qualities that made me fall in love with my husband back in 1999 -- the fact that he wanted to talk about Sartre and Charlemagne at frat parties and that he was captain of the College Bowl team -- have only grown more pronounced over the past five years.

Love is knowing how truly lucky you are to have such a person in your life.

Posted by: Sarah at 07:01 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 awwwwwww. I know what you mean.

Posted by: airforcewife at May 23, 2007 04:44 AM (0dU3f)

2 Well, we all knew he was uber-smart. He married you, didn't he? Oh, and in case I miss it in the next bit - Happy 5th Anniversary. :-)

Posted by: Tammi at May 23, 2007 06:18 AM (Bitcf)

3 If I didn't know better, I would be highly suspicious that you were talking about MY husband. And having been married for 8 years now, I certainly love my husband more today than I did 3 years ago, and my love for him only continues to grow. It is wonderful.

Posted by: Butterfly Wife at May 23, 2007 11:16 AM (/LiOe)

4 can you talk with my wife? ....just kidding.

Posted by: Mr Bob at May 24, 2007 12:41 PM (yfyy+)

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The heavy lifting is done.

But the perfect method I had concocted for how to put all the squares together ended up looking like absolute crap. I thought I could just crochet the squares together, forming a nice border between each one. I didn't count on it looking like garbage. So we're at a standstill, and I've moved on to another project to calm down a bit.

I think what I will end up doing is crocheting a border around each square and then sewing them together. Not something I am looking forward to doing, but oh well.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:23 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Bill Whittle's newest is finally up: You Are Not Alone

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Annika, who will quit blogging in exactly six and a half hours, isn't going out with Miss America waves and reruns. She managed to find these hilarious quotes from rockers who are wising up to the fact that their benefit concerts don't really help much of anything.

Annika, you will be missed.

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I almost didn't want to go see Spiderman 3 because of the crappy behavior of the lead actors. Nothing says "hype our movie" like the actors talking about how much they resented having to make a third one. God forbid you have to be in a movie that people actually want to go see. How tragic. Sheesh, I was almost too annoyed to go. The older I get, the less I can stomach celebrities.

But we were treated to a real class act when Billy Blanks showed up at SpouseBUZZ Live. He acted like the military spouse audience was the celebrity, which was downright touching. He was super-nice, and I hope he knows how much we appreciated his visit.

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Last night we watched The Last King of Scotland, and I was so disgusted at the end of the movie that I lost sleep over it. Yes, I know the story portrayed is fiction, but Idi Amin was most certainly real.

What disgusts me the most is that there are rulers out there like Amin, yet people persist in calling President Bush evil. Have we no sense of evil? People in North Korea are eating children, but some American citizens can't stand to be associated with the American flag.

Google gets 1,850,000 hits for "George Bush evil" but only 178,000 for "Idi Amin evil." 65,700 for Arafat; 623,000 for Kim Jong-Il; and 264,000 for Mugabe.

We make me sick.

Posted by: Sarah at 06:23 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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