July 31, 2008
ARE WE THERE YET?
Well, I put in a seven-hour workday today. I started crocheting on
the wedding afghan at 9 AM, stopping only for lunch and the occasional email. Seven hours and a ton of blurry TV later, I've completed 25 rows. That's
eight inches. Man, I kinda figured I'd knock this thing out today, but I still have another four or five inches to go.
That's enough, people. No more weddings or babies for the rest of the year. I can't handle any more of this race-against-the-clock knitting.
Posted by: Sarah at
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Well, my baby is due at the end of the year... is that far enough away? LOL
Posted by: Green at August 01, 2008 04:51 PM (6Co0L)
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Green, you're the last one! Yours is already started, so no more after that! Ha.
Posted by: Sarah at August 02, 2008 04:49 AM (TWet1)
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UPDATE
For weeks, people have been asking what happens next fertility-wise. Well, I'm still technically pregnant from the last baby. My levels plummeted and then plateaued; the nurse said she's never seen anyone's levels stay the same from one week to the next. And we all know there's no way I could be pregnant again, so I have no idea what's happening or how to make it stop. I can't make any appointments with the fertility clinic until the levels get back to zero. So I'm stuck in teeny-tiny-bit-pregnant limbo for now.
Posted by: Sarah at
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Oh, my goodness - and after those pills?!?! (Been through that misery... EEK.) A common complication with those is that - if everything isn't completely clear, which it frequently isn't - your body can think it's still pregnant (stubborn things, bodies...). They always need a follow-up visit... I sure hope you're able to get in to the dr. soon!!!
Posted by: kannie at July 31, 2008 06:55 AM (f+LJo)
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Re-reading my comment, it sounds so clinical that the sympathy and empathy really do NOT come through - please know that it's *absolutely* there, and that you've been in our thoughts & prayers.
Posted by: kannie at July 31, 2008 07:13 AM (f+LJo)
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Can't imagine what all this is like for you, never had near the complications you have had getting pregnant...(or having children) but you are never far from my thoughts and prayers, both you and your husband....I certainly hope your levels go down quickly so that things can move forward....
~ASW
Posted by: A Soldier's Wife at July 31, 2008 09:44 AM (jA2RX)
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July 28, 2008
A BAD DAY
It seemed like such a nothing choice, putting that
Ray of Light CD in the player. I haven't listened to it in nearly ten years.
It wasn't a nothing choice. I am unable to do anything now but sit immobilized with my thoughts.
This CD takes me back to France. And not in a good way. That year of my life, I wish I could erase it. It is such a deep wound. I spent eight years loving France and waiting to get there, and then I hated it once I was there. After a horrible month of bad experiences with my host family, worse experiences with teachers, and being chased by a pervert until I had to climb under a car to hide from him, I turned numb to France, pretending I wasn't there. I got into a hurtful and bad romantic relationship with another exchange student instead. The year culminated with my near-death. And anything that reminds me of that year makes me sick.
*****
That's how I started a post yesterday. I never finished it because, coincidentally, a friend from that year in France called me while I was writing it.
The post sat as it was; the bad feelings lingered to today.
I remember thinking it was cute that The Girl wrote a post just to remind herself of a day when she was feeling fine. This is my post to document a day when I'm not doing well.
Yeah, it's 0100 and I'm still awake.
It was that France stuff hanging over me today. Thinking about how crappy the year was, what bad choices I made with my life, and how awful I feel in the pit of my stomach whenever I think about it.
But mostly today it was the eyes. I feel like they're getting worse instead of better. I'm back to hating my body. I'm back to feeling the unfairness of having a body that won't accept a baby and eyes that won't accept Lasik. I am discouraged.
And I'm reading a book for a SpouseBUZZ review. I read the entire second half of the book tonight, two hours of feverish reading. It took me right back to the last deployment. It included names that I'll never forget: Kenny, Iwan, Khan, Falkenburg, Sims. (And just now, in looking up how to spell "Falkenburg," I couldn't avoid three names that brought the tears: Prewitt, Rosales, and Becker.)
So here I am, at 0100, not having such a good day.
And I just thought I ought to document it.
Posted by: Sarah at
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So sorry you're having a bad day. Will you talk to your Dr. soon about your eyes? I have heard about this a time or two from friends who got this proceedure, that they've had to go back one more time. Though from the sounds of it you might not want to go back through it again.
It sounds like your experience in France was terrible. I don't know how bad your host mom was, but I know mine was terrible. She stole my medicine for the brochitis I caught from showering in her house with cold water and an open window to a south american winter. She locked all the food in the house and only fed me on piece of toasted bread per meal, with a little butter and tea. Then she started to make me wash my clothes in the shower while I only had 5-7 minutes before she shut off the water.
The list could go on. When I finally had a good grasp of the language we would fight all the time. I went to Chile with a third party company that took very good care of its students and I was offered a new host family. The problem was that I didn't want to get to know a new family, new set of rules, and move all my stuff. I also really loved the rest of the family and hung out with my brothers and sister a lot. But I'll never forget the ill treatment I recieved from her. Ever.
A friend of mine went to France and stayed just outside Paris in a small village. She said she hated most everyone she encountered. That the French people were the most violent USA haters she'd ever seen. I recall a brief posting from you about what you experienced, but I'm not sure how deep it goes.
I know it doesn't feel like it but things will cheer up soon.
Posted by: Sara at July 29, 2008 04:56 AM (SZeN8)
Posted by: FbL at July 29, 2008 05:04 AM (HwqvF)
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Check your Hotmail ;-)
Bob
Posted by: BobWang at July 29, 2008 04:24 PM (RP4LT)
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Indulge. let yourself be crabby, grumpy, cry, howl at the moon if you need to. Being strong, happy, content is great - but none of us are that way all the time. Some days - just suck. everything you ever did "wrong", comes back and smacks you upside the head - all the hurts, the arguments, the bad choices. Acknowledge them, even grieve over them a little (notice, a LITTLE) and give yourself some time.
LAW
Posted by: LAW at July 31, 2008 12:17 AM (A7iUf)
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July 29, 2008
NO WRONG WAY
There is no wrong way to knit. The only rule is to not drop a stitch or do something that will cause the knittery (thanks for the term, CaliValleyDude) to unravel. How you hold the sticks, where you hold the yarn, all of this is irrelevant. I rest my needles on my thighs and move the left one around the right; I think the only other people in the world who do that are the people who learned knitting from me. Which is actually quite a few people, I am happy to say.
I've heard stories from people who've gone into highbrow knitting stores and the ladies there want them to change the way they hold everything. That makes me mad. There's no wrong way to do it.
(This post prompted by this post.)
The only wrong way to knit is to take on making two wedding afghans a month before the weddings. And realizing that you now have a week to finish the remaining thirds of both of them.
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Imagine their gasp if they found out I was using a (loom). Only thing I can knit with needles is a knot. Crochet? One chain. That's it. The loom? I've fired off three hats, a mini afghan for a dolly and one bootie. All in one weekend while traveling.
When I took typing in high school, I got a B because I used the wrong finger when typing the letter "B." Go figure. Not even sure how my typing teacher ever found out, but I was the only one who was doing it, apparently. I now type approximately 80 wpm and never miss the B, but I miss other letters. Go figure.
I'm an end results girl and more people should be. As long as no one gets hurt and it turns out lovely, I'm with you, who cares how it got there.
I'm hoping one day to graduate to needles, but, in the meantime, I'll be making hats until all little baby heads are warm and cozy.
Posted by: Susan at July 29, 2008 09:56 AM (4aKG6)
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Well, I have to add one thing.
If you are a beginner, teaching yourself, do NOT invent a stitch that no one around knows anything about. At least without writing it down...
If you only knew how many projects never got finished because of that very thing. ;-)
Posted by: Tammi at July 30, 2008 05:24 AM (pWX3U)
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July 28, 2008
BE STILL MY HEART
My husband and I went on a cruise the last time he returned from Iraq. We hated it. Between the
awkward mingling with civilians and the
Scattergories game from hell, it just really wasn't for us.
But the husband sent me a link today, noting that this cruise might be a bit more up our alley. I swear, when I read the first five names, my heart skipped a beat. Can you imagine getting those guys on a boat? It'd be like stalking Instapundit in Vegas, only there'd be nowhere they could escape from me! Muhwahaha.
No, seriously, I want that cruise. And I don't care one iota about the itinerary; we could circle Lake Michigan for five days for all I care. Hubs, someday can we take a nutjob cruise?
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Holy Cow! Can I go along as your personal assistant? I can carry luggage, laptops, run for beverages. Heck, I'll even pre-stalk for you!!!!
;-)
Posted by: Tammi at July 28, 2008 11:29 AM (pWX3U)
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THAT cruise looks great.
But isn't that during the election? Kind'a strange?
Posted by: tim at July 28, 2008 11:34 AM (nno0f)
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I can totally see you two on this cruise! You'd come home so refreshed!
Posted by: airforcewife at July 28, 2008 12:36 PM (mIbWn)
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It's the weekend after the election and I suspect that everyone could use a cruise after that is all said and done. If they could get Lileks on there, I'd sell a kidney in order to go!
Posted by: HomefrontSix at July 28, 2008 06:09 PM (4Es1w)
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CITIZEN OF THE WORLD
In order to keep my eyeballs off the computer screen, I have been listening to Hugh Hewitt clips. But that's a bad idea because it just makes me come up with stuff I want to blog about.
I was listening to Dean Barnett and James Lileks talk about Obama's "citizen of the world" line.
I now puff my chest up and say that I was at the vanguard of this line of thought, having blogged about it two and a half years ago. (And getting exactly zero comments on the post, she adds, lest you think she really does hold herself in such esteem.)
Some commenter said yesterday that America's far left is Europe's moderate. I thought of that today in passing while reading Broca's Brain. I think people look at the world quite differently depending on how they classify themselves. If you think of yourself as an American, you see the world differently than if you think of yourself as a Global Citizen, as it seems most Europeans do. And if you think of yourself as a citizen of the universe, as Sagan does, you look at issues completely differently. Thus when Sagan talks of global warming, he thinks all humans should work together to prevent Earth's habitat from being like Mars. When an American talks about it, he typically thinks about what is best for the US first. I think the label you give yourself says a lot about how you deal with The Issues.
I agree with Lileks that when Obama calls himself "a proud citizen of the United States, and a fellow citizen of the world," the emphasis is on the latter. And that it lacks any real sort of meaning and downplays his Americanness.
Really, there's nothing that turns me off quite as fast as when someone downplays his Americanness.
I am not a Citizen of the World. I live on this planet, but I am an American citizen. I don't really recognize this entity that Obama calls "the world," some sort of collective of human beings who all want the same things: peace, love, and kumbaya. I don't think that exists. I believe that human life patterns the Animal Planet channel, where each species vies for position and does what it takes to stay alive and get ahead. We accept that in the animal kingdom, but for some reason we think humans should all want to share and be humble. I wish we could accurately see human beings the way we accurately see marine life during Shark Week.
I am thankful to be a citizen of the greatest country on this planet. I wish Obama were too, instead of relegating it to second fiddle behind meaningless "We Are the World" tripe.
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This is where we completely disagree. I am a citizen of the world, and very fortunate to be an American citizen, too. And even MORE fortunate to be a Southerner.
Now get away from your computer screen!
Posted by: Sis B at July 28, 2008 07:36 AM (/2ehL)
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I will also respectfully disagree. When I say I am a citizen of the world that does not mean it plays down my pride for being an American. What it means for me is that I enjoy visiting other countries, and the way I like to do that is to immerse myself and/or embrace the culture as much as I can. I want to know the people and the country as more than just a tourist who stays in luxury resorts (although that is QUITE nice on occassion). I also regard people's rights to live and practice their religion in a way they see fit as long as it doesn't harm other people. Now, that's obviously a very general statement so don't jump on it. Its a simple sentence for a complicated idea. The part about religion is where my husband and I disagree intensely and its just a conversation we can't have.
That doesn't mean that I don't regard people for what they are or countries for that they are. I tend to agree with the realist theory of international politics - every state does what is in it's own best interest. We will never see a time without conflict. We will never see a megapower, in other words, one organization or person leading the countries of the world. And frankly I don't want to see that. Its hard enough to keep Americans happy, God knows what it would take to keep every nation in the world happy.
Maybe this is an argument of semantics or different understandings of a pretty general phrase.
Posted by: Sara at July 28, 2008 09:24 AM (SZeN8)
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Sara, I think maybe we are reading the phrase differently. I am not sure I understand at all what you mean about religion, because it seems to me that you are expecting me to be intolerant of various religions, a vibe I really don't think I've given off anywhere on this blog. But as to the other point, I have lived in three different countries, speak two other languages (including the one Obama says we have to speak in order not to be boorish), etc, but that's not what I thought he meant. I thought he was appealing to a Global Community that needs to Work Together for Hope and Change. As in some sort of body of communal values and ideals that the whole world shares. I personally don't think that exists.
And Sis B, you are just a hippie. HAHAHA.
Posted by: Sarah at July 28, 2008 10:44 AM (TWet1)
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Sarah,
First, I never insinutate or accuse. If I was ever thinking you were religiously intolerant I would have come out and said so. Or likely, since that is rude, counter productive and a bit hypocritical in and of itself I would have said nothing. Big believer in "if you don't have something nice to say". I was merely giving my top general ideas of what I believe to define that phrase. I also made the point to say "in a way they see fit as long as it doesn't harm other people" because of extrmists who are ruining their own countries and would love to destroy others.
As to your second comment, I believe I addressed that in saying that I believe in the Realist Theory. I assume you know what I was referring to, but if not let me know and I will explain farther. Maybe I should have been more clear with saying directly that I am in agreement with you that such a compromise or as you said " As in some sort of body of communal values and ideals that the whole world shares. I personally don't think that exists." I agree. So there.
None of that was accusations, and yes, I know that like me you've lived around the world and speak different languages. It is also a passion of mine. I certainly wasn't belittling you or calling you simple. Just explaining my point of view.
As far as Obama goes, which was your point afterall, I believe he might be trying to only clear up many a conservative's fear that he would ignore international relations in the same way Clinton did. I know that my father definitely thinks as much. I think his concern is not for a Global Community to get together and work together, but to try and restore trust in America and improve international relations. Any president would be wise to try and at least attain more allies to face a common enemy. It is my guess that that's the point he's trying to make.
Although, in my opinion and world tour is a bit presumptuous. It has put a bit of a sour taste in my mouth much the way Hillary assuming she'd get the nomination did. At this time, it is about convincing Americans he is the right man for the job, not the rest of the world.
Posted by: Sara at July 28, 2008 11:39 AM (SZeN8)
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I just wanted to say that I really like the analogy of human life patterning the Animal Planet channel. I have thought something to that effect for a while now, and it seems a little strange to me that some people believe that all humans have some innate selflessness that makes them want to work for the benefit of the entire world, whether or not it benefits their own species/nationality/tribe, etc.
I think that on the whole, humans tend to be fairly selfish creatures, and it will be eternally impossible to convince them all to work for the good of the world when it means giving up their own personal/national goals and comforts. I think that believing in the possibility of a united world of peace and harmony is about as realistic as believing in the tooth fairy.
That said, I agree with Sara's last 2 paragraphs in her comment above. I think he's trying to say that he cares about diplomacy, etc., but I really don't think that this was the right time to do it, or the right way. It just makes him look (a) cocky and presumptive, as if he's already won, (b) as if his priorities are in the wrong order and he cares more about the international community than America, and (c) it does sort of give the impression that he's running for Europe's vote as much as for our own. That adds to the presumption bit, and makes me just the slightest bit uncomfortable as to his aspirations for leadership. In another day and age, Obama's vast ambition might have made him an imperialist or a dictator. In this day and age, he's a globalist.
Posted by: Emily at July 29, 2008 08:23 AM (jAos7)
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July 27, 2008
HEH
Oh, and I think it's cute that all of you are saying, "But you didn't call meeee." I said non-internet friends, sillies. Also, AWTM, you are PCSing like tomorrow, and, Guard Wife, you are taking the freaking bar exam this week, so I'm not gonna call either of you and waste your time with stories of how my eyes are too blurry to watch an episode of
The Dead Zone.
But I did watch Friday's episode of The Soup, and I was laughing so hard I was pounding the coffee table with my fist. I wonder if there's laughing gas in the eye drops I'm taking...
Oh yeah, and my face is still sticky. My hair keeps sticking to my cheeks and forehead, which is not pleasant. I even considered putting Goo Gone on it, but the bottle said to avoid prolonged exposure with your skin.
Vision-wise, I see about the same as I did yesterday.
Posted by: Sarah at
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Random idea for the face stickies - try an exfoliating face scrub with little pieces of stuff in it?
I love this stuff:
http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=161978&catid=79350&brand=8217&trx=PLST-0-BRAND&trxp1=79350&trxp2=161978&trxp3=1&trxp4=0&btrx=BUY-PLST-0-BRAND&cmbProdBrandFilter=8217
Posted by: loquita at July 27, 2008 08:50 AM (X0NT2)
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Did you try mineral oil or baby oil? That works on a lot of sticky stuff. Good luck!
Posted by: HChambers at July 27, 2008 10:59 AM (++roz)
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OMG, I was TOTALLY thinking of "Goo Gone" when you first explained this sticky mess, but decided if you used it, sticky face would be the LEAST of your problems.
I'm taking the bar exam this week!? Crap. I KNEW there was something I was forgetting. Thanks for reminding me. Heh.
Posted by: Guard Wife at July 27, 2008 04:09 PM (ccp31)
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GUESS I FIGURED OUT WHAT TO DO TODAY
You know what you
can do with only 20/30 vision? Housework. Bleh.
Scrubbing, sweeping, mopping...so far I've found that none of those take perfect vision.
Just my luck.
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July 26, 2008
THE BEST MEDICINE
Lots of laughter today. Lots.
And I haven't laughed at
The Daily Show in years, but
this recent clip had me in stitches.
No low blows, no gratuitous Bush jokes, just good comedy.
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HA
So the bio of Benjamin Franklin I've been listening to? Yeah, that's not a sustainable activity.
FbL had a good alternate suggestion: listen to stand-up on youtube. I ended up on the most hilarious thing,
Dennis Miller interviewing Dana Carvey. The Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart thing was priceless.
P.S.
Sarah Silverman just has the most perfect delivery. I can't listen to any more of her because I can't not watch her. Her face, it is delightful as she makes jokes.
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RECOVERING
I have to wear metal eye protectors to sleep in. I told my husband they make me look like Spiderman. Just in case he didn't truly believe me...
Incidentally, I took eight of these pictures of myself lying in bed, hoping that one of them would be decent. So today when I was picking out which one to put on the blog, I felt like I was back in the eye doctor's office: Which is better, #1 or #2?
Also, notice that they have to be taped to my face. I cannot for the life of me get the sticky residue off; I've tried soap, exfoliator, and even rubbing alcohol. I am certain that by the end of the week, I will have two tape lines of pimples in an X on my face. Lovely.
So, yesterday was not so great. My friend and I decided that we did this all backwards: we hung out this week and culminated with the surgery, but we should've started with the surgery and then hung out, since I can't do anything but sit. Because my vision is blurry, I can't watch TV and I really ought to limit my computer time (so hard for me). Did I mention that I can't watch TV? Yesterday I sat alone listening to a book on tape. Lame.
Today my vision seems a little better, which is reassuring. But just in the hour I've been on the computer, I swear it's gotten worse, so I'm going to get offline now. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself all day. One thing I can do is gab on the phone, so I think I might catch up with old friends. Like non-internet friends. Yeah, I still have a couple of 'em.
UPDATE:
I just called six people and none of them answered. Lame.
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Sarah,
I had Lasik myself a few years ago. I know it is frustrating right now, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that it works out well for you.
Take care
Posted by: jck at July 26, 2008 07:58 AM (d6k/G)
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Ahh, Lasik porn for the hubby;D
Posted by: Ruth H at July 26, 2008 08:00 AM (zlUde)
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Sarah....Try some skin so soft, from Avon, to take off the tape residue....
Posted by: Debey at July 26, 2008 09:24 AM (NP11N)
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you did not call me...
There is always a lot of racket on my end of the phone...
I could have taken you on a virtual phone zoo tour!
this is a Tabir, they look like a big anteater...
Posted by: awtm at July 26, 2008 05:10 PM (5A+rY)
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Hang in there girl. It's not instant gratification; but, delayed gratification is sometimes better. It took me a few days to really be sure I had done the right thing. It gets better.
Posted by: Pamela at July 26, 2008 08:21 PM (s34Jo)
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Um. I checked my phone. I don't see that I've missed any calls from you. On the good side, though, I think that means *I'm* not lame.
I'd forgotten those sexy, protective goggles. Mine had a strap, though, so I didn't have to tape them to my face.
You absolutely MUST knit a ski mask with those in the eyeballs & fashion your Halloween costume around the mask.
Posted by: Guard Wife at July 27, 2008 07:59 AM (ccp31)
Posted by: jiimionad at August 14, 2008 06:15 AM (RPWsr)
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July 25, 2008
I AM JOE'S NODDING HEAD
Lileks goes to eleven
today.
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MY KIND OF MOVIES
CVG sent me an article that she knew I'd like:
What Bush and Batman Have in Common
The funny thing is that my husband and I only pay money to go to the theater to see the very movies this article discusses, the superhero genre. The last movie we saw was Spiderman 3. Before that, 300. Before that, X-Men 3. And so on. So I was excited to see the new Batman and sad that I couldn't see it with the husband. His buddy and I tried to go the other night but it was completely sold out. Luckily, I did get to see it with my friend and her two sons this week.
I thoroughly enjoyed it. And Heath Ledger was just...wow. The whole time I kept thinking how tragic it was that the role messed with his head so badly but how unsurprising it was, considering how masterful his performance was.
Those are movies I want to pay to see.
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NOW IMAGINE SEEING IT FROM THE OTHER SIDE...
If you're really squeamish, this might freak you out. But there's a
youtube of a Lasik surgery, and it's exactly what they did to me. I must say, sitting in the waiting room watching these creeped me out at first, but after I'd watched three people go ahead of me, it wasn't that hard to watch. But still...not for those who get grossed out by eyeballs.
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HE CRACKS ME UP
I posted at SpouseBUZZ:
My husband's got jokes:
The other day, I set my purse down in the living room and walked down the hallway. A minute later, I hear the cell phone ringing. I run down the hall, rummage through my purse like a madwoman, and grab the cell phone right as it stops ringing. I recognize the displayed number as my husband calling from Iraq. And I'm standing there with the cell phone in my hand as he's leaving a voice message. No way to call him back or to let him know that I'm stupidly holding the phone.
That's excruciating.
I sent him an email later, saying that I was dying as he left that message, and that if he ever doesn't reach me on the cell phone in the future, he should hang up and try back one more time. Chances are I'm rummaging through my disaster of a purse, which is always what happens when my phone rings.
So a day or two later, he calls again and I miss it, but he calls right back. After we get off the phone, I go to my voicemail and hear what he left after the first call: a sing-songy teasing voice saying, "I'm not calling back -- you shoulda gotten to the phone in time! Just kidding..."
My husband's got jokes.
After I came up with that post, I went outside for a moment and my husband called again and I missed him. This voicemail said sarcastically, "You'd think with your new eyeballs you could find your phone faster."
That man.
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UNDERWHELMED
I woke up this morning a tad underwhelmed. I didn't feel safe driving myself to my appointment, so my friend took me. The doctor said he likes his patients to be at least 20/25 by the next day, and I'm 20/30. Now, that's WAY better than what I can see without my glasses, but I still feel like I'm in a little bit of a fog. Some of that could go away in time, and I freaking hope so because I certainly won't be happy that I spent thousands of dollars to still need glasses. I go back in a week to see if there's progress. But the pessimist in me thinks that this might just be one more nail in my
loss-of-faith coffin.
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I will keep you in my prayers and hope that you continue to improve. I know that telling you to try to remain positive is probably not what you want to hear, but I was a fairly negative person for a long time and I am finding (in spite of the things I have to deal with daily) my way in trying to keep the pessimist in me at bay, it only makes other things feel worse. I can't imagine having gone through all you have to add more, but then I thought the same thing about me.....platitudes are not my thing, so I will just end it with letting you know that I'm thinking of you.
~ASW
Posted by: A Soldier's Wife at July 25, 2008 08:58 AM (jA2RX)
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I am sure it will get better. It probably just requires a little patience.
Posted by: Butterfly Wife at July 25, 2008 12:20 PM (qzk/s)
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Just read the loss of faith for the first time. My faith must have died when I was a child, because I never, EVER, allow myself to get excited about anything. And I've imagined all the horrors, and lived a few of them.
My only comfort, and the only thing that ever gives me peace with anything, is to try to be entirely present. Right now, right here. I will be excited when the good things happen, I will be sad when the bad things happen. No need to alter my mood right now for what may or may not come to pass. I dunno if that's a loss of faith, or just the essence of zen. Maybe it's both. But it helps.
One of my friends got lasik not long ago. It seems like it was a couple of weeks before he was 100%. I'll ask him for details (he keeps spreadsheets on everything so I'm sure he can tell me to the last excruciating second about how long it took for his vision to be great. and he had the coke bottle glasses beforehand.)
Posted by: Sis B at July 25, 2008 01:05 PM (/2ehL)
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July 24, 2008
EYEBALL UPDATE
So, the lasik, eh?
I went in and waited and waited; naturally they were behind schedule. There were two other ladies in the waiting room who had done the surgery a few years ago and who were in for a touch-up. They said that, even with having to have a touch-up, they would do it again in a heartbeat. They also said that there's no pain whatsoever.
Hmmm, I am not sure I agree with that.
I went in and they numbed my eye and drew marks on it with a marker. That's because of astigmatism; apparently when you sit up straight, your eyeball is in a different shape than when you lie down, so they have to mark you sitting up before they recline you. Then they took me in and cut the flaps in my cornea. Painful isn't really the right word, but it was uncomfortable as all get out. They put this suction cup thing on your eye and create a vacuum seal and then start cutting. It was blindingly awful. It was so hard to keep my eyes open, and the even had me in this Clockwork Orange contraption so I couldn't shut my eyes. Still, I would've given anything to close them. It was like my brain shut off and the only thought I had was get-it-off get-it-off get-it-off. They did my left eye first, prounounced it a success, and did the right eye. But no pronouncement after that one.
Then they walk me across the hall and put me under another machine. I hear lots of commotion from the doctor and nurses and get the vibe that something is wrong. Panic attack. I am trying not to freak out or cry for what feels like an eternity before some nurse pats me on the arm and assures me that there's nothing wrong with my eyes, just the machine. Turns out the machine was having trouble uploading my info, so someone had to go back downstairs and save my flie to a thumb drive and come back with it. But I seriously thought something had gone horribly wrong. It was entirely unnerving, lying there for interminable minutes thinking that I had just lost my right eye.
Then, by the time they came back with the thumb drive, I had been lying there with my eyes closed for several minutes. So when they turned on the machine and the light flooded my eye, I thought I was going to pass out it was so bright. Nothing like being in complete darkness for five minutes and then having a flashlight shined in your eye from six inches away.
The wild thing about this next part is that it's done on camera and broadcast into the waiting room, so my friend and her son watched them pull back the flap in my cornea, pulse the laser into it, and then replace the flap. She took pictures with her cell phone, heh. And then we were done.
I shut my eyes, got guided out of the office, into the car, into my house, and into bed. My friend then had to figure out how to tape the protective eyewear to my head before I went to sleep. I woke up three hours later and took the goggles off.
I can see...decently. I guess I was expecting this life-altering transformation already, but as of right now I see better than I did naturally but not nearly as good as I did with my glasses. They say the process can take up to 48 hours to really work, so I'm hoping I have better vision in the morning.
Oh, and I would never say the process was easy or painless, but whatever discomfort I experienced -- I spent a lot of the time with my toes curled and my fists clenched, wishing I could be anywhere but with a blinding light in my eyeball -- it will be worth one hour of discomfort if I can see. My eyes are still extremely itchy this evening, maddeningly so. I would give anything to rub them, but that's the biggest no-no. I hope the worst of that goes away by tomorrow.
Wish me luck that I wake up in the morning with better vision.
UPDATE:
As posted above...
If you're really squeamish, this might freak you out. But there's a youtube of a Lasik surgery, and it's exactly what they did to me. I must say, sitting in the waiting room watching these creeped me out at first, but after I'd watched three people go ahead of me, it wasn't that hard to watch. But still...not for those who get grossed out by eyeballs.
Posted by: Sarah at
07:26 PM
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1
It's making my eyes itch just reading about it. Hope everything is much clearer in the morning!
Posted by: Anwyn at July 24, 2008 07:54 PM (dzxw9)
2
Good luck, Sarah. You seem like a really nice and sensible person, so I'd wish you well anyway, but I think you deserve good things after some of your experiences in recent months.
Posted by: hiraethin at July 24, 2008 09:01 PM (hnFlP)
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Well doesn't that sound like my own personal idea of hell. I have horrible vision myself but I've never been tempted to have lasik... I seriously don't think that I could get through the procedure without a complete freak out.
Glad you made it through. And I wish you a speedy recovery!
Posted by: dutchgirl at July 25, 2008 04:16 AM (3a5Uy)
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Just reading that makes me kinda want to puke. *shivers*
I hope you get your perfect eyesight!!
Posted by: Kasey at July 25, 2008 04:35 AM (cACJz)
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I read with one eye closed, sadly I don't see very well with just one eye, but I wish you happy eyeballs and clear vision soon.
Here's hoping for perfect sight...
Posted by: Susan at July 25, 2008 05:12 AM (4aKG6)
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It's official. I will wear contact lenses for the rest of my life. Makes my eyes water just thinking about it. A teeny part of my brain always thought "maybe" even though most of my brain is completely freaked out by Lasik. Your post is the first honest account of the procedure I've heard. Everyone else always just says, "oh, it's not bad..." with no details. And after reading it I'm happy happy happy with my contacts! Wishing you clear vision, and to never have to go in for a touch-up!
Posted by: TK at July 25, 2008 06:02 AM (A/2+g)
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OK, I dont know if you've convinved me based on the description..I felt uncomfortable for you...A friend of mine, did tell me that it took some time to see crisp. But she said she does... Keep us posted!!! and I hope the itching goes away.
Posted by: keri at July 25, 2008 06:13 AM (HXpRG)
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Eek! This whole post gave me the heebee-jeebees!!! Yikes! No thank you.
Posted by: T at July 25, 2008 06:39 AM (KV0YP)
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July 22, 2008
A SLEEPOVER
Charlie and I will be gone for a few days; we're going on a sleepover to my friend's house. Her husband is out of town this week, so we're going to knit and bake. And then she'll nurse my eyes back to sight. So I may not be around for a few days, but hopefully when I return I'll be 20/20.
Posted by: Sarah at
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Have fun and good luck!
Posted by: Ann M. at July 22, 2008 03:16 PM (HFUBt)
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Yay! Have a great time. I hope you have great results with LASIK. I wore glasses since 3rd grade, too.
Posted by: Butterfly Wife at July 23, 2008 03:18 AM (qzk/s)
3
I thought about you all day! Hope you're seeing clearly!!!
Posted by: Allison at July 24, 2008 04:44 PM (jUCsS)
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July 21, 2008
BWAHAHA
So...during primary season, my husband opted for strategery and
pulled a Mary Katherine Ham. Therefore, I found it hilarious today that he received a letter in the mail from the RNC asking him why he's abandoned the Republican Party. It called him a "grassroots leader." I am seriously sniggering here.
Posted by: Sarah at
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You should seriously email them back and explain. I honest-to-God wonder what they would do with that.
Posted by: airforcewife at July 22, 2008 04:00 AM (mIbWn)
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