It may tell us something painful about many Americans today, when so many people are preoccupied with the pay of corporate CEOs. It is not that the corporate CEOsÂ’ pay affects them so much. If every oil-company executive in America agreed to work for nothing, that would not be enough to lower the price of a gallon of gasoline by a dime. If every General Motors executive agreed to work for nothing, that would not lower the price of a Cadillac or a Chevrolet by one percent.
Too many people are like Ivan, who wanted BorisÂ’s goat to die.
1
Those who cannot create demand that others control the creators. Such control leads to destruction ... and demands for more control.
How many Americans know what happened to millions of Ivans and Borises after 1917?
Posted by: Amritas at November 30, 2008 03:40 PM (gO06s)
I AM THANKFUL
I read blogs for the ideas. Some of them stick with me, for a very long time. I refer to them in conversations in my Real Life. I am thankful for all the ideas out there, and I wanted to express my gratitude.
I know I have forgotten posts and that there are many more that I am thankful for. But I have been working on this for over two hours, and I just have to let it be.
Please leave links in the comments if you have blog posts you are thankful for.
1
I'd be thankful if someone told me where Nelson Ascher is. I miss him.
I've read some of these, and I look forward to reading the rest. Thanks for the list!
Posted by: Amritas at November 28, 2008 12:28 PM (gO06s)
2
I'm thankful for your blog and for you!
Your Mama
Posted by: Nancy at November 28, 2008 07:12 PM (coA+L)
3
I'm thankful that you read great stuff, many of which I have missed. Now I need to come back and read all the rest...
Posted by: Barb at November 29, 2008 07:08 AM (p+dnl)
Alex Chamberlain, a British restaurant-goer at the Oberoi, told Sky News television that the attackers singled out Britons and Americans. He said a gunman, who appeared to be in his early 20s, ushered 30 or 40 people from the restaurant into a stairway and ordered everyone to put up their hands.
"They were talking about British and Americans specifically. There was an Italian guy, who, you know, they said: 'Where are you from?' And he said he's from Italy and they said 'fine' and they left him alone. And I thought: 'Fine, they're going to shoot me if they ask me anything — and thank God they didn't," he said.
Perhaps he just meant that they would recognize his accent, but the way I read it was that he would tell them the truth. If that's the right reading, he is very brave.
What would you do? Would you say that you're an American or would you lie and say you're Canadian or fake a French accent?
1
I am a soldier stationed over in Korea, and I have to say, to you, to this Italian man, to anyone who would, or would like to think, that you would tell the truth and tell them you are an American, thank you. Those few Americans that still have that pride are what keeps us going when we are away from our families... You bring out a great deal of good old American pride in me. On Thanksgiving day, Thank you.
Posted by: Gypsy at November 26, 2008 02:03 PM (Xtvxj)
2
A little history lesson on how it's done:
Ambrose R. Davenport
September 11, 1772—March 13, 1858
While a prisoner of war during the War of 1812, Ambrose Davenport refused to swear allegiance to the British crown by saying:
"I was born in America and am determined at all hazards, to live and die an American citizen."
He was captured on Mackinac Island and taken to
Detroit for his incarceration. In case any reader
thinks this was easy for him --his wife and SIX
children remained on the island.They were
continually harrassed until his release in 1815.
Posted by: MaryIndiana at November 28, 2008 03:13 AM (SRyvm)
DISTRESS
I just heard this story on the radio and wondered what you think of it:
Jeff Russo says the decline of the textile industry left his family business, Greenville Industrial Rubber & Gasket Co. Inc., with about $1.5 million less in annual revenue.
So he can't understand why the federal government is now spending billions of dollars of taxpayer money to bail out financial-services firms and, possibly, domestic auto makers.
Russo was so upset by the government bailouts that he started flying the U.S. flag upside down outside of his business on Poinsett Highway as a protest. Russo said he got no objections for about a month. Then a veteran complained, and a local TV station aired a report about his gesture, and he got a slew of e-mails and voice mails.
Tuesday, Russo said he loves his country and turned the flag upside down -- a sign of distress -- because he's concerned for its future.
"The government never once bailed the textile industry out. You're talking hundreds of thousands of jobs lost in this area, including my company. We lost a million and a half dollars a year," Russo said.
"You know what the government told us? Re-educate yourself. Go after new markets. They didn't give us a bailout. I'm trying to represent every small businessman in the country. We don't get bailouts. We're responsible for our business, our employees. The buck stops here. They never have given us a bailout, never will give us a bailout, and we are the backbone of this country.
"By doing this I think I am a patriot," Russo said. "I love this country, and I don't want to see it go down the tubes."
(a) The flag should never be displayed with the union down, except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property.
In searching for the article, I found other examples of upside down flags:
"discontent about not having a VA hospital in the Rio Grande Valley" [here]
"to show they didn't agree with the way the presidential election was conducted" [here]
"unhappy with the results of the presidential election and the general state of the U.S." [here]
And these are all just from this month!
Some veterans have apparently complained in each case, saying it's disrespectful to the flag and not the distress signal that was intended in the flag code.
What do you think?
Personally, if I had heard any of the other three stories I bulletted, I wouldn't have bothered to write this post. But that first story really intrigues me.
1
I understand the sentiment, because I do feel that our country's foundation has been completely tunneled out from underneath us over the last century. But I don't think I would do it. It garners attention, but it doesn't persuade anyone, and it offends those who might otherwise agree with you... our manner is important, too. Just my $.02!
Posted by: kannie at November 26, 2008 11:29 AM (iT8dn)
2
I agree with the above comments. While I agree with Russo that the bailout mania has likely been a bad move on the part of our government, I do not think that Russo is in the "dire distress" for which the Flag Code is intended. His company has lost revenue and employees, but he is still living, still working. I think I also disagree with the other situations you listed for flying the flag upside down; they may be upset, but there is no immediate threat; the "distress" they suffer is hardly enough to warrant such symbolism.
And I agree with Kannie that in a large part that doing so for things like this can easily become just a ploy to gain attention for a person's "cause" instead of the actual purpose for which the flag code was meant.
Posted by: Leofwende at December 01, 2008 10:40 AM (jAos7)
I LOVE HIM FOR
I keep having these conversations with people, and then a few days later I read something in Atlas Shrugged and think, "Aw nuts, that's how I should've answered."
Right now I am at the part where Cherryl Taggart realizes that Jim isn't who she thought he was.
"Jim, what is it that you want to be loved for?"
"What a cheap shopkeeper's attitude!"
She did not speak; she looked at him, her eyes stretched by a silent question."
"To be loved for!" he said, his voice grating with mockery and righteousness. "So you think that love is a matter of mathematics, of exchange, of weighing and measuring, like a pound of butter on a grocery counter? I don't want to be loved for anything. I want to be loved for myself -- not for anything I do or have or say or think. For myself -- not for my body or mind or words or works or actions."
"But then...what is yourself?"
"If you loved me, you wouldn't ask it."
Last week, I met a neighbor, one of those people who likes to psychoanalyze everyone. I made a joke in the group about how my husband has never been described as "nice," which is true: my husband has many wonderful qualities, but "nice" doesn't really suit him. The neighbor asked me what quality first drew me to my husband. I sat for a moment, deciding between his intellect and his integrity. As I thought on, I realized I ought to indicate his intellect, since his integrity is something that I have grown to see over the years and not necessarily something I knew right from the beginning.
The neighbor interrupted my thoughts, saying that I was taking too long, that a real answer would come from the gut and not require so much deliberation.
I said, "His intellect." The neighbor looked at me like that was a cheap thing to be loved for.
What I wish I'd answered, what I thought of later that night, is that my love for my husband doesn't come from my gut; it comes from my brain. I love him with my mind, not with my heart. A quick response to that question would be false, because the response has to come from my thought process.
My husband and I were in the same friend group for about six months before we began dating. I remember vividly at one point telling a mutual friend that I could see myself marrying someone like Mr. Grok. I was reminded of that today when I saw who Cherryl thought she was marrying. And I realized that the love that developed for my husband was similar to what Dagny feels for John Galt: she loved him even before she knew he existed. I loved my husband's qualities before I ever had any inkling he would become my husband. In fact, he had declined my suggestion that we date. Weeks later, he came to me with his mind and said that he had made a mistake and we should be together. We figuratively shook on it, and that was that.
Effectively, our love was transacted like a pound of butter on a grocery counter.
My husband earned my love. I too had to earn it from him, and it took him two weeks longer than I to weigh the merits of it. And the moments when I feel the most love for my husband, the moments when it feels like my heart is swelling, it is really my brain swelling. It happens when he has excelled at a task, when he has become frustrated with himself because he didn't live up to his potential, or when he has displayed his sharp wit or keen intellect.
I don't think my neighbor would've understood that.
1
I totally get what you are saying here: I could have married my husband after knowing him for 2 days. I wasn't "in love" yet...but I knew that he was someone I could grow to love and get attached to. I already loved his character, because that was the character I was looking for in a man...now I just had to get attached to this person.
Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at November 26, 2008 05:08 AM (irIko)
2
I decided to marry Deltasierra in 3rd grade. She was a) nice to me and b) pretty. She smiled a lot.
Over time, I came up with some other good reasons, but I have never had cause to doubt the initial reaction. =)
Sig
Posted by: Sig at November 26, 2008 07:36 AM (exefa)
3
"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties."
Jules Renard
Posted by: tim at November 26, 2008 10:01 AM (nno0f)
4
There seems to be a whole lot of Atlas Shrugged reading going on lately.
Posted by: Tom at November 26, 2008 10:18 AM (lgq5k)
5
I knew I would marry DH when I was 15, I even made the pronouncement...
funny, smart, handsome, and unique perspective, that always made me see something different..
We were friends, but did not date romantically, until I was 19.
I have asked him what his trepidation was, all of that time alone we spent, me WAITING for a kiss, or some indication of "boy lurves girl"...
he answered..."I cared about you too much, I really respected you."
Huh....???
Who knew 17 year old boys had sooo much restraint?
Posted by: AWTM at November 26, 2008 12:07 PM (3Q/t2)
6
I had a list of traits and qualities I wantted in a husband. I even told my mom I wouldn'y get married unless 'he' fit the bill. Then 'he' just happened to be in the same platoon during basic training. We met in March, started dating in July, engaged by October, married in January. He was just what I had knew I wanted.
Posted by: Jen at November 26, 2008 08:29 PM (59GjO)
7
I had two lists. The list of "must-haves" (honesty and integrity, intelligence, shared values, sense of humor, etc.), and the list of "deal-breakers" (smoking or other serious addictions, complacency/lack of ambition, anger management issues, dishonesty; those kinds of things).
I met my husband online, and so I got to know his personality before I ever met him in person. By the time we met IRL, I knew that (as long as he hadn't lied to me) he had all the qualities I was looking for, as well as a few that I considered to be bonuses, and none of the problems that I had hoped to avoid. I knew before I met him that he was someone who (as long as he was honest) I could at least be great friends with, even if we had no chemistry.
When I met him in person after talking to him for a month online, I was pleased to find out that he was exactly the same person I had gotten to know; he wasn't some "internet weirdo" who pretended to be someone else to pick up chicks. I had been pretty sure that he was for real, but it takes meeting a person face to face before you really know. I also found out that first date that I was definitely attracted to him, so more than friends was definitely an option.
The things I love most about my husband: his intelligence, his eagerness to learn, his sense of humor, his cuddliness, his integrity, and his determination. He exemplifies these qualities daily in everything he does and thinks and says and believes.
Posted by: Leofwende at December 01, 2008 10:25 AM (jAos7)
8
Doesn't matter what you love him for, all that matters is you love him.
Posted by: bx19 at February 15, 2010 05:56 PM (bWGnc)
9
I sometimes wonder if I think too much, when it comes to love, not that I've had too many opportunies to give falling in love a try. "Letting go" of the brain doesn't seem to be an option for me. Does that make me a "pound of butter" kind of person?
Posted by: Miss Ladybug at February 15, 2010 10:44 PM (vqKnu)
REALLY? THIS IS WORTH IT TO YOU?
I have been feeling nostalgic for my middle school years lately and have been listening to The Wall often. I checked the wikipedia entry today, just to see what it says. I noticed something interesting:
For "Another Brick in the Wall (Part II)", Pink Floyd needed to record a school choir, so they approached music teacher Alun Renshaw of Islington Green School, around the corner from their Britannia Row Studios. The chorus was overdubbed twelve times to give the impression that the choir was larger. The choir were not allowed to hear the rest of the song after singing the chorus. Though the school received a lump sum payment of £1000, there was no contractual arrangement for royalties. Under 1996 UK copyright law, they became eligible, and after choir members were tracked down by royalties agent Peter Rowan of RBL Music, through the website Friends Reunited, they sued. Music industry professionals estimated that each student would be owed around £500.
Does anyone else find this sad? It's not enough to say that you were a kid who got to sing on a Pink Floyd album? Instead, 15 years later, you sue the band to get 700 bucks.
And I love the idea that some "royalties lawyer" went hunting around for these forty year olds to let them know that they could sue.
I think we have collectively lost our everlovin' minds on this planet.
1
I would have been happy just to have met the band!
Posted by: bx19 at November 25, 2008 10:45 AM (qCCr/)
2
I assume the chorus recorded their part separately without meeting the band.
I bet the "royalties agent" is making more than £500.
I wonder what the school did with the £1000 back in the day.
Posted by: Amritas at November 25, 2008 11:46 AM (+nV09)
3
This reminded me of the dust up over the Cosby Show's opening. Dr. Cosby had made a generous donation to Hale House because he believed in
their mission. He wanted to use the mural as the
backdrop for the opening credits to DRAW ATTENTION
to the charity. Pretty nice,huh? You'd think!
HOWEVER---
The kids who painted the mural demanded to be paid
and were nasty about it. Dr. Cosby had to then
pull the opening and switch back to the Apollo
Theater open from the previous season.
I am all for people getting paid for their work,it's this bizarre greed that I don't get!
Posted by: MaryIndiana at November 26, 2008 07:30 AM (SRyvm)
The K-12 public education system is essentially wrecked. No longer can any professor expect an incoming college freshman to know what Okinawa, John Quincy Adams, Shiloh, the Parthenon, the Reformation, John Locke, the Second Amendment, or the Pythagorean Theorem is. An entire American culture, the West itself, its ideas and experiences, have simply vanished on the altar of therapy. This upcoming generation knows instead not to judge anyone by absolute standards (but not why so); to remember to say that its own Western culture is no different from, or indeed far worse than, the alternatives; that race, class, and gender are, well, important in some vague sense; that global warming is manmade and very soon will kill us all; that we must have hope and change of some undefined sort; that AIDs is no more a homosexual- than a heterosexual-prone disease; and that the following things and people for some reason must be bad, or at least must in public company be said to be bad (in no particular order): Wal-Mart, cowboys, the Vietnam War, oil companies, coal plants, nuclear power, George Bush, chemicals, leather, guns, states like Utah and Kansas, Sarah Palin, vans and SUVs.
1
#1 on the list bothers me the most.
VDH has succumbed to Make My Subject Mandatory syndrome.
I don't go around telling people to be like me. Tangutology is never going to catch on, unless I make that movie I mentioned to you on Sunday. And even then, it's not for everyone.
I do admit I think a mandatory semester-long survey of human language is a good idea. Most people know more about the stars and planets than about human language down here on Earth. But four years of linguistics? No.
Let's suppose VDH's four-year classical language program materializes. What would really happen? The medium would get in the way of the message. I speak from experience. I've studied 17 languages - both classical and modern - in classrooms and worked on others on my own. I've seen my classmates at Berkeley struggle with untranslated classical literature. I seriously doubt the average American kid could do any better. When one is done deciphering a page, one may not even remember what it's about. I don't think I lost out on much when I read Sophocles (excuse me, Σοφοκλῆς
in translation. Would military officers be better trained if they read Sun Tzu in Classical Chinese? Even the Tangut read Sun Tzu in translation.
Of course, there are schools that still teach classical languages. But are European gymnasia really churning out young VDHs?
Posted by: Amritas at November 24, 2008 11:12 PM (a1nQd)
2
I think VDH and Whittle should run for president. The only problem is chosing who would top the tickt!
Posted by: MargeinMI at November 25, 2008 02:26 AM (rhOmf)
3
Amritas -
What I took away from that was that young Americans don't know the basis of our society any longer. I agree with that.
Because they do not have the historical basis of their country and their world, they will believe anything they are told. They do not know Margaret Sanger was a racist, or that Planned Parenthood was started as a part of the Eugenics movement.
That moment when the PP Clinic agreed to take donations earmarked for a minority abortion was lost on them because they did not know WHY it was so shocking in context.
They fall for the "America is most evil and racist" canard because they do not know that slavery existed (and continues to exist) in other non-white cultures since, well, forever.
They do not know that Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Republican or that the Democrats were the ones pushing against the Civil Rights movement.
During the most recent Lebanon/Israel war someone my age actually had no idea that the conflict between those two nations stretched to a time before the kidnappings of the IDF soldiers. No idea! And this was someone with a Masters degree!
I truly believe that those who do not know the past are condemned to repeat it, and I begin to see that all around us. I don't think we should wallow in our history like some nations do, to the exclusion of our future. But, I think we've forgotten who we are, and we can't be a successful nation unless we know.
Posted by: airforcewife at November 25, 2008 04:23 AM (Fb2PC)
4
Amritas; I would amend his #1 to have students make it through basic Latin, like the semester's worth that I took in college. That much would help immensely for kids to understand the English language, as well as any others they cared to learn. I have found that teachers rarely teach grammar anymore; I learned nouns and verbs, but I even got through 2 years of French without really understanding conjugations. Latin helped me a TON.
And I agree with AFW in that learning the history and literature, etc., from which our culture developed is even more important. I studied history in college, but you'd be surprised how many teens and college students these days have never read Homer, even in translation, and think that "Beowulf" is a movie that came out last year, without connecting the name to one of the oldest texts in the English Language (Anglo-Saxon). A solid basis in classical history and literature, as well as early American history and literature, would probably do a lot of kids a LOT of good.
Posted by: Leofwende at November 25, 2008 08:27 AM (jAos7)
5
airforcewife,
Nice addendum to VDH. I have no objections to what you're saying, or to most of VDH's list.
My specific objection is to the notion that classical languages are part of the solution. European elites graduate from gymnasia with the kind of Greek and Latin training that VDH values. They understand the roots of the West more than most monolingual Americans. Yet they are the architects of Eurabia!
Knowledge is only a part of the problem. The whole mindset of the West has to be changed. That will be much harder than the already difficult challenge of improving educational standards. Schools can force kids to memorize enough Greek and Latin to pass an exam, but they can't make kids think, or feel an appreciation of freedom.
Leofwende,
I agree with your amendment.
The only high school textbook I ever used after I graduated was my Greek and Latin roots book. It was required for my 10th grade English course.
I never said we should toss out classical literature. But is it really so important for every single high school student to decipher them in the original? Frankly, VDH sounds like a snob.
Posted by: Amritas at November 25, 2008 08:38 AM (+nV09)
6
Amritas...Michael Hammer, the noted management consultant, has interesting thoughts on the role that subjects like Latin could play in the education of the aspiring executive. He quotes a senior exec at a pharmaceutical company:
"All one need learn is Latin and computer programming--Latin for communication and programming for thinking."
Dr Hammer is not suggesting that Latin per se should be mandatory, but rather than students should be exposed to *both* a difficult humanities program *and* a difficult hard-sciences-type program.
Posted by: david foster at November 25, 2008 10:52 AM (ke+yX)
7
I like Leofwende's idea - I know that my 8th grade English teacher drilled us on Greek and Latin prefixes, suffixes, in-fixes, all... along with the relics of sentence diagramming. I loved it because it's helped me recognize and understand a LOT more, and not just linguistically...
And I'm there with you on the persistence of the language, Amritas - reading the classics (and I'll spare everyone my rant on making hormonally-ridden teens read depressing modern "classic" lit...) broadens not just your direct knowledge, but the way your mind *can* work. Although there's definitely something magical about listening to the Canterbury Tales read aloud in the Old English... *happy sigh*
Posted by: kannie at November 25, 2008 10:56 AM (iT8dn)
8
My 10th grade Lit teacher gave extra credit to anyone who could memorize the first 10 or so lines of the CT's Prologue in Middle English. That's probably one of the several events that led to me studying Medieval History and Literature in college. I did my senior Lit thesis on the Knight's Tale. Love it. Love Beowulf more, since it's older (especially adore my facing-page translation), but still love it.
Studying the history and the literature is good, as long as the teachers and professors can leave their personal agendas out of it. During college I was regularly frustrated out of my mind by Lit professors and Lit research articles (far more in my Lit than my History major, which at least attempted to be objective) who insisted that this or that author was gay or who insisted that this author's "blackness" and that author's "femaleness" was the main theme in everything they ever wrote. Ugh.
Posted by: Leofwende at November 25, 2008 12:20 PM (jAos7)
ALL ALONG
I was just getting ready to leave for work when this email from CaliValleyGirl popped up:
Just wanted to make sure that you didn't slip in the shower or anything...no long email needed, just a sign of life!
Heh.
I am here, just busy. Worked all day Saturday. Stayed up until 3 AM online with Amritas. Babysat yesterday. Eek. I came home from the experience thinking that there's no way I can be a mother, that I will do a horrible job, that I don't have the patience.
And then I caught my favorite episode of Scrubs ever, and realized that I probably will find the courage.
I got in bed last night and grabbed my Atlas Shrugged. And I remembered something that I hadn't thought of until last night: the men of Galt's Gulch only lived there one month of the year. They weren't allowed to wall themselves off from the reality of life; they had to keep jobs and live amongst the looters. But they returned to the gulch once a year to be with likeminded individuals.
So really, we have this gulch. The gulch is any time we get together, at the Milblogs Conference, at a SpouseBUZZ, at a house in Ohio, or even just typing on the internet until 3 AM.
1
I used to feel the same way about babysitting and "momming." (I did NOT enjoy babysitting...) But really, babysitting other people's kids is hugely different than taking care of your own - HUGELY. I promise. For so many reasons. And you're absolutely right - you'll find the courage; I'm sure of it! :-)
Thanks for pointing that out about Galt's Gulch, too - there's so much I don't remember from that book...
And I've tagged you as having a fabulous blog - please don't feel pressured to keep it going, but I wanted to pass on the compliment! :-)
Posted by: kannie at November 24, 2008 10:20 AM (iT8dn)
2
Once a day here sure beats once a year.
I'd go crazy waiting for the next reunion!
Posted by: Amritas at November 24, 2008 10:57 AM (+nV09)
3
I'm sure that the men of Galt's Gulch felt the same way I feel after coming home from SBL or the MilBlogging conference.
Posted by: HomefrontSix at November 24, 2008 10:42 PM (4Es1w)
4
Yes, kannie is absolutely right on that one. Your own kids are totally different. Unless it's an adorable kid that you WANT to hang out with.... But that's fairly uncommon; kids are so annoying. Your own kids can bug you, but it IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!!!
I am slowing getting through The Fountainhead. I am taking my time, kinda accidently. It's everything for me not to quote it by the paragraph on my bloggie. Next will be Atlas....
Posted by: Allison at November 25, 2008 02:32 PM (rcZzI)
I sent an email to my husband asking him what his thoughts were on Victory in Iraq Day. He hasn't gotten back to me, so I don't have his opinion on the matter yet.
But Michael Yon's opinion counts for a lot in my book, and the fact that he left Iraq and headed to Afghanistan, saying, "The war is over and we won," well, I think that means something.
"America bring democracy, whiskey and sexy!" said that unknown Iraqi man. This is not a trivial statement. He is saying that for the first time in thirty years, he will have his own chance for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I thought his English was dead-on.
I hope these people stagger out into the sunlight of real freedom with a willingness to do those two simple things that seem to work so well: work hard, and trust each other. I think they will. They started civilization. They have earned, and well deserve, the chance to enjoy the fruits of it once again.
I hope they will resist the temptation to let oil revenues steer their future. It is not, in fact, a blessing. They are about to start to reap the benefits of the wealth of their nation. I hope they have the wisdom to channel that wealth into their people, into their education, their technical and artistic skill that was once so well represented in the cradle of law and good government. I hope for world-renowned universities in Baghdad and in An-Nasiriyah, producing respected scholars and scientists. I hope for productive farms in the Tigris-Euphrates valley, feeding the millions of the entire region, just as there were thousands of years ago. I hope for high-tech factories in Basra and Tikrit, textile mills in Kirkuk and cell-phone design firms in Mosul. And above all I hope they have the courage to read and study history, and to implement a system that looks something like the ones that allow these daily miracles in the West.
I hope that some day they might be able to forgive us the pain we had to cause them to get rid of that devil, that threat, and his evil toys. Many already do. I hope, and believe, that many more will do so in the years to come. We are still so very, very early in this long and difficult process. But perhaps, some day, they will be able to see that not only Iraqis died for a free Iraq. Americans died. Britons died. Australians and Poles and many others put their lives on the line as well. It would be arrogant and vile to expect gratitude, but I do hope, I deeply hope, that they will be able to understand why we did what we did and how much it cost us, in those poor, shattered homes across America and Great Britain.
And I have one final wish, which I know seems very unlikely, but which I will share anyway.
I fervently hope that someday, perhaps decades from now, Iraq will have a really top-notch soccer team. I hope that one day, they will get to the final round of the World Cup, and when they do, I hope it is Team USA they play for the championship.
I hope that the Americans play a tough, aggressive, masterful game, that they use all of the speed and skill and power at their command. And then I want to sit there watching TV as an old man, and watch the faces on the Iraqi people when the game is over, because I want to see that the most relieved and joyous they can conceive of being, is the day that tiny Iraq got out on that soccer field and kicked our ass.
Posted by: Sarah at
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MAIL
The best part about living in Germany was that sending mail to Iraq was free. No stamp necessary. And I milked that for all it was worth, sending articles and photos and many letters. 215 of them, to be exact.
This time around, I sent 45. Granted, we had more regular contact via internet, so there was less to say in letters. And he was deployed for half as long. But still...
I think I am proof that people abuse privileges they don't have to pay for.
1
I would contend that you are proof that *some* people abuse the privileges they don't pay for.
Posted by: Sis B at November 22, 2008 04:57 AM (0ScrO)
2
I abused the hell out of the "free mail" privilege from Afghanistan. I didn't keep count, but it wasn't uncommon for me to write 4 or 5 letters in a slow day. I would go a week or two without, and then write another batch. Most were to my wife, some to Mom (who didn't get a SINGLE letter from my little brother in Iraq the year before), and a lot to random people I knew only from the Intarweb. One female I knew from a forum I was on was a school teacher, and she read some of my letters (or parts of them, at least) talking about the people and the landscape and the climate and whatnot to her students while they were learning about that part of the world. So some good came from it, I guess.
There is nothing better than getting a letter from home when you're in the middle of nowhere. They couldn't always get us water, food, or ammunition, but when they did come through, they brought the mail, too.
Sig
Posted by: Sig at November 22, 2008 07:24 AM (/W1Z3)
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Uh yeah...I remember the sending 12-packs of Diet Mountain Dew...and feeling bad that the packages were so heavy. I abused it too, all of the time! I can't imagine how much it would cost to send those packages from the US. Ouch.
Posted by: Nicole at November 22, 2008 09:30 AM (xPxyx)
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So Sis, you're saying that if it were free to send packages and mail to your husband, you wouldn't do it more often than you do now? And I thought I was good at self-discipline...
Posted by: Sarah at November 22, 2008 10:51 AM (TWet1)
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Um, OK. Well, I don't abuse all free privileges either: I don't take free meds from the health clinic, for example. I have always been a nazi about heating and cooling, even when we lived on post and didn't pay energy bills.
But I still stand by my generalization that we don't treat resources the same way when they're free as we do when we have to pay for them.
Next time you use an anecdote to make a point, I'll try to remember to point it out to you as "not proof of a theory." You know, not every girl's brain is like spaghetti. Only *some* of them.
Yeesh, nitpick much?
Posted by: Sarah at November 22, 2008 07:46 PM (TWet1)
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Aw, I didn't mean to nitpick. I don't think you abused your mail privileges, either, but that's just me.
And I totally expected flak over the girl brain spaghetti thing and didn't get it! I knew you were out there lurking with that thought.
Posted by: Sis B at November 23, 2008 09:32 AM (0ScrO)
LINKJonah Goldberg on all the people who are already saying Obama is the next Lincoln:
I think Lincoln was just about the greatest president in American history, but I sure don't want to need another Lincoln. Six hundred thousand Americans died at the hands of other Americans during Lincoln's presidency. Lincoln unified the country at gunpoint and curtailed civil liberties in a way that makes President Bush look like an ACLU zealot. The partisan success of the GOP in the aftermath of the war Obama thinks so highly of was forged in blood.
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A COMRADE
Yesterday I happened upon a private reading We The Living. I got this indescribable excitement and wanted to grab him and talk his ear off. Of course I didn't. I stared holes into the top of his head, but I couldn't even get him to make eye contact. Still, it kinda made my day.
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Have you read We the Living?
I read it after my second reading of Atlas, and I barely remember it after almost twenty years. I might have been more impressed if I had read Rand's work in chronological order.
It'd be funny if it turned out that the private was reading We the Living to understand "the other side" like this guy.
Posted by: Amritas at November 21, 2008 06:35 AM (+nV09)
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I love that book for so many reasons. It is brief enough to be manageable to most people, other than diehard Rand fanatics who love the longer ones, it is semi autobiographical which gives us at least a peek into her own history, and the ending is so powerful. Just reading your post makes me want to go to the library and check it out...again.
Posted by: Amy at November 21, 2008 09:36 AM (I9LMv)
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Amy,
Good points.
I recommend Anthem for those who think We the Living is too long. Anthem and Yevgeny Zamyatin's similar, earlier novel We should be made into movies. CGI technology could effectively depict their sterile, collectivist dystopias.
I read We the Living shortly after I read Barbara Branden's The Passion of Ayn Rand, so I knew the real story before I saw the fictionalized version. I wonder what it's like to read We the Living without that background knowledge, or without having read Fountainhead or Atlas first.
Posted by: Amritas at November 21, 2008 10:13 AM (+nV09)
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I think "We the Living" is far better, judged as literature, than Rand's other works.
Amrita, there actually *was* a movie made of WTL...oddly, it was made it Fascist Italy, and the censors approved it because it was anti-Communist...later to change their minds when they realized it was anti-totalitarian in a more general way. It's very well done, although there are a couple of minutes missing.
I thought the Leo character in the book came across as fairly obnoxious, and Kira's passionate attachment to him seemed a bit strange, unless it could be put down to pure physical attraction...but in the movie, he came across as much more human, even though I don't think his dialogue changed at all.
Posted by: david foster at November 21, 2008 02:33 PM (ke+yX)
UNFINISHED PROJECTS
MaryIndiana requested a post on unfinished knitting projects. Some people won't start a new project until the old one is finished; others constantly start projects and move on to something more exciting before it's finished. I believe I fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.
I have knitting ADD. I wasn't always that way; I used to only do one project at a time. But in the past few years, I have needed variety. So I always have a few things going at once. I only have a couple of truly unfinished projects. I started a sweater two years ago that I know will be to small for me. I hate to rip out the entire back of the thing, but I know I can't continue it, so it has sat for two years. I also started another stuffed animal back when I was teaching knitting classes, but with no baby to get excited about, that project petered out too. I started myself a DNA scarf that is about a third finished, and I started a double knitting scarf for my mother that takes more concentration than I would like and has sat there all year. Yeah, it was supposed to be her Christmas present. And I started an Aran sweater that takes even more concentration than mom's scarf: I tried to do a row while watching TV, and I spent 45 minutes knitting and then unknitting the row. Can't talk or watch TV during that project.
OK, that probably sounds like a lot. But by knitter standards, that's not so much. I will finish the scarves and the Aran eventually. Probably the stuffed animal too. One day I will get brave enough to rip out that sweater and start it over.
But I say with pride that I do not have any mate-less socks in this house.
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SHE WAS A FOOL
I am not the Sarah who rejected the 99-Cent Dating Experiment. I think it's very funny and cute. If a guy had done that for me, I would've found it endearing. Of course, all of the gifts I can remember in my life had nothing to do with money: the handmade wooden keychain, "I love you" spelled out in pink Starbursts (my favorite flavor), a potted violet my 8th grade boyfriend walked a mile in the rain to buy for me. And my husband didn't have to buy me a thing to get me to fall in love with him: We went to a free production of Man of La Mancha, he baked cookies from a tube of dough, and he wanted to know my thoughts on Sartre.
I'd trade the diamond bracelet for the one made of Reardon Metal any day of the week.
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Maybe it's because I did all of my dating as a student; I just don't think money has anything to do with it. I think it would've been funny, and I would've asked what he was up to also, but I would've thought it was cute if I already liked the guy.
And I think my husband was the exact opposite: he didn't do anything to try to impress me. He just acted like himself. He was not trying to make me like him; it was an accident. He did none of the normal things that guys do to hide their guy behavior and pretend to be couth. He considered me "one of the guys" and put on no airs whatsoever.
In fact, we often joke that he's a far better husband than he was a boyfriend or fiance. He's more thoughtful now than he was then. (And that's saying a lot: this is the man who hasn't gotten me a birthday or Christmas present in years.)
Posted by: Sarah at November 21, 2008 11:15 AM (TWet1)
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Hmm...I like the idea, but I think he took the wrong approach. You can do "free" or "cheap" dates without going to the dollar store and buying a bunch of junk.
My husband and I had fun dates where we went to local markets or free events and didn't spend a cent. We've done tons of dates where we went to the hot dog stand for lunch or went for cheap teryaki or whatever instead of going to fancy restaurants. Our second "date" was me making spaghetti for him at my apartment; virtually free since I would have been making and eating spaghetti at some point anyway. The point is that I like who he is and I enjoy spending time with him no matter what we're doing.
And I, too, would take the bracelet of Reardon metal any day.
Posted by: Leofwende at November 21, 2008 11:36 AM (cZoqf)
HAPPY AMMO DAY!
I participated in my very first National Ammo Day today! I headed to the range bright and early...and then realized that ranges don't open bright and early. But I was ready to go as soon as they opened. I bought my 100 rounds and then shot half of them. I am improving -- only a few stray shots, the majority of them clustered around the bullseye -- and I am a lot more relaxed about the whole process.
I talked to my mother today, and we decided to organize a family shooting day the next time I go home. Neither of my brothers has ever been shooting, and it's been decades since my parents have been. I think it will be a fun family outing.
And my mom just laughs that her daughter is now a gun nut.
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"Neither of my brothers has ever been shooting"
Oh that's just wrong.
Posted by: tim at November 19, 2008 09:31 AM (nno0f)
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Perhaps I shall have to take my youngest brother (the one who's studying sociology) to the range over Xmas. As far as I know, he's never been. Dad came with us once, my other bro has been with his friends, and my mom wouldn't want to, I'm pretty sure. We already bought a whole bunch of ammo at the gun show a couple weeks ago, so we probably won't be running out to buy any today after work. But it's a good thought!
Posted by: Leofwende at November 19, 2008 09:43 AM (jAos7)
3I headed to the range bright and early...and then realized that ranges don't open bright and early.
Awww. We can't all be like you! But we should try ...
Posted by: Amritas at November 19, 2008 10:20 AM (+nV09)
4Neither of my brothers has ever been shooting, and it's been decades since my parents have been.
This made me wonder: how many gun owners here come from families with traditions of owning guns and how many are pioneers (the first gun owners in their families)? Sarah's situation sounds like a blend of the two: she may be reviving a tradition that's been dormant for "decades."
Posted by: Amritas at November 19, 2008 03:37 PM (a1nQd)
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My husband wants to know where he can do that in Illinois.
Posted by: Nicole at November 20, 2008 04:52 AM (xPxyx)
PRIMAVERA IN WINTER
I finished my first Primavera sock on the plane out to Seattle and started the second.
I am fantastically happy with this project, but the second sock will be put on hold for a while while I start a very fulfilling project to fill a need. Cryptic, I know. But I can't wait to write about it later.
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You have inspired me, you know. You and that sock-knitting blog you linked to a week or two ago. I have now decided that I absolutely MUST learn how to knit so that I can learn how to knit socks. I'm giving my first sock a try; started last night. I'm sure my first set will be terrible and probably unwearable, but it will be a learning experience.
Posted by: Leofwende at November 19, 2008 09:13 AM (jAos7)
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Leofwende,
I know the temptation to emulate Sarah can be overwhelming, but please don't neglect your art. I love your self-portraits and would like to see how you'd depict other people. Amaravati already has one Sovereign of Socks. It needs a Princess of Paintings.
But never mind what I want. Learning new skills is always a good thing. Best of luck with your first pair!
Sarah,
Cryptic, I know.
And you also know that hint-dropping is a tried-and-true technique to keep your readers hooked. We'll be back every day in hopes of seeing the unveiling of The Project.
How do you pick projects? The Primavera sock is on a year-old blog post. (Not that beauty is ever out of date!) Do you mostly find ideas through random websurfing, or is there a pattern of patterns?
Posted by: Amritas at November 19, 2008 11:11 AM (+nV09)
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Usually through random web surfing. I also pick out patterns much faster than I can actually make the items, so sometimes I have patterns backlogged for years. I saw the Primavera socks by random and thought they'd be a good fit for this particular yarn I had.
There is a clearinghouse of patterns called Knitting Pattern Central, which is a good place to start a web crawl.
Posted by: Sarah at November 19, 2008 11:44 AM (TWet1)
Posted by: Mare at November 19, 2008 11:52 AM (APbbU)
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The photos are nice, but your readers should know they do not do the sock justice!
Can't wait to see what needs you're filling!!!
Posted by: Guard Wife at November 19, 2008 12:42 PM (eb8pN)
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Thanks, Amritas. I have done a few paintings since then; I just haven't gotten around to posting pics of them. Knitting/crocheting is something I can take with me on the bus to and from work. Oil paints? Mmmm...not so much.
Next year, when I'm no longer working a long bus ride from home and when my husband is deployed, I will probably do a lot more art. But for now it's only here and there.
Posted by: Leofwende at November 19, 2008 01:41 PM (jAos7)
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Leofwende,
D'oh! Didn't occur to me that you can't paint and commute at the same time! Nor can you simultaneously commute and Photoshop.
It's odd that I forgot about the mobility factor, since I insist on maximum productivity. Just sitting on the bus doesn't sit well with me; I have to do something.
Unfortunately, what I do isn't as visible or as beautiful as Sarah's Primavera sock. Or your paintings. Do post some more; I look forward to them.
Posted by: Amritas at November 19, 2008 03:32 PM (a1nQd)
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how many single socks do you have around the house waiting for a knit mate?
Posted by: airforcewife at November 20, 2008 06:45 AM (Fb2PC)
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That's my only un-mated sock. And the mate is half done anyway.
Now unfinished scarves and sweaters, that's a whole nother story...
Posted by: Sarah at November 20, 2008 11:01 AM (TWet1)
TOUGHER LOVE
Dr. Helen quoted Ted Nugent (heart) -- "You don't need tough love in America, you need tougher love. " -- in her post about how we need to speak up:
Too many times, we let liberals get away with making fun of Republicans and those of us who do not agree with them politically. This needs to stop and the only way to do it is to speak up in the classrooms, public and at work. Remember that we are 56 million strong--those of us who did not vote for Obama. We are hardly alone.
As you know, I have been reading Atlas Shrugged again. Every time I read it, I remember how empowered it makes me feel. My husband mentioned a small dilemma today, and I said, "Tell them how you really feel; let them have it!" Then I laughed and said, "Sorry, I am being a bit too Reardon, aren't I?"
Reading this book makes me want to speak the truth.
On my flight the other day, while discussing the Obama book with my row-mate, the conversation turned to health care. This man, who was not an Obama supporter, said he agrees with "free" health care and thinks that it's something that the United States can do for its citizens.
I didn't say what I really wanted to say: Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should.
And looking back, I kind of wish I had said that. At least the conversation would've turned a different way and perhaps it would've made this man think new thoughts. Instead I took the wimpy way out and reminded him that nothing is "free" in this world. I wish I had been more assertive in the conversation though. He was asking my opinions and I held back, for fear of sounding cold.
As I said in an email to a friend a while back, I wish I were more like an Ayn Rand character. I wish that I didn't worry whether my positions sound nice or not. The Nuge is right: we need tougher love in this country.
I wish I were bold enough to tell a stranger on a plane that I don't believe everyone is entitled to cheap health care. I'm not there yet.
I wonder how many times I'll have to read Atlas Shrugged before I have that confidence...
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I believe in speaking up, but how do you define what's appropriate? Your for instance about healthcare, I would discuss that with someone I knew fairly well. Not with a stranger on a plane. But then I also just stopped discussing politics altogether during the campaign because it became increasingly difficult to not want to choke someone for being stupid.
I think if we can speak up in a logical and polite fashion then we should. Also not everyone has the same social finesse as you do Sarah.
I have no problem talking to people but a lot of folks are a little more shy.
Maybe the 56 million of us who didn't vote for Obama could wear lapel pins or something?
Posted by: Mare at November 19, 2008 04:13 AM (APbbU)
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The problem with speaking up when someone is pontificating is that they usually don't want to hear it.
I adore a good discussion - even with people I don't politically agree with (and there are lots of those everywhere) as long as it can stay civil and the person I'm speaking with can give me facts as well as passion. And with one other caveat - the person I'm talking with has to be as open to hearing new facts and re-evaluating their belief system as I am. That's not too much to ask, I think, and that places the onus just as much on me as on the person I'm discussing with.
The problem is that if someone's entire political worldview can fit on a 2 x 12 bumper sticker, there isn't depth for discussion.
Posted by: airforcewife at November 19, 2008 07:34 AM (Fb2PC)
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Mare,
I also just stopped discussing politics altogether during the campaign
I kept my mouth shut "in real life" unless someone came "out of the closet." I always let others make the first move, unless I know we share common ground (and I do share some with people on the opposite side of the aisle - they're not another species!).
airforcewife,
The problem with speaking up when someone is pontificating is that they usually don't want to hear it.
Yes. Such people are not interested in initiating a discussion; they intend to impress others with how "virtuous" they are (since they have the "right" beliefs). Questioning their "virtue" only angers them. Rage will blind them to whatever merits the opposing position may possess.
the person I'm talking with has to be as open to hearing new facts and re-evaluating their belief system as I am. That's not too much to ask
It depends on how "open" one is. It's "not too much to ask" if one is willing to take a few new steps in one direction or another. But expecting people to 180 because of something one says is too much. I'll admit it - I'm not likely to go back to the left any day soon. I don't have a totally open mind about Communism - or jihadism. And I'm not sorry about that.
People have vast emotional investments in their core beliefs. Striking those beliefs directly is likely to fail. Questioning peripheral beliefs is safer, though it falls far short of what Nugent demands. (Not that I feel any need to please him.) Sarah's "nothing is 'free' in this world" or her unsaid "Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should" exemplify a third, more effective approach: question the underpinnings of the core beliefs rather than the beliefs themselves.
The problem is that if someone's entire political worldview can fit on a 2 x 12 bumper sticker, there isn't depth for discussion.
But just enough "depth" to identify that person. That's all politics is for a lot of people. Tribal insignia. Why bother to question their badges? Good advice!
Posted by: Amritas at November 19, 2008 08:24 AM (+nV09)
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I too, tend to keep my politics under the table IRL, unless I know the other person is open to having a genuine discussion. Where I live, such a thing is a rarity, so I am thrilled with the fact that we have become good friends with another couple in Beowulf's unit that has the same core conservative beliefs that we do. My husband, this couple, and my parents are really the only people I can think of IRL that I will talk politics with. I had some conservative friends my senior year in college, but they are spread all over the place now and I rarely see them anymore.
What I am more likely to do, if politics are brought up with someone who I'm not sure how they think, is ask questions. I will ask them specifically why they think that it will work, or bring up the negatives that other countries have experienced with socialized medicine, or bring up how even the military has trouble being effective and efficient (people having to make appointments months ahead of time, a guy from hubby's platoon sitting in the emergency room for 9 hours before he saw a doctor after cutting off the tip of his finger, etc). And how they think doctors will get paid, what about malpractice suits, and what will happen to the pool of doctors when their pay is effectively "capped". I'm much less likely to tell them straight out that I disagree (I'm really kind of a shy/timid person unless I know you), but I will ask questions.
Posted by: Leofwende at November 19, 2008 09:31 AM (jAos7)
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Leofwende,
My husband, this couple, and my parents are really the only people I can think of IRL that I will talk politics with.
That's a lot more than I have in IRL ... namely, zero. I'm envious.
Somebody send me the map to the gulch ASAP!
What I am more likely to do, if politics are brought up with someone who I'm not sure how they think, is ask questions.
Good idea. I'm too shy to even do that, but I do listen to the other side. My goal is not to sway them over but to understand their POV better.
Posted by: Amritas at November 19, 2008 10:56 AM (+nV09)
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Amritas:
It's "not too much to ask" if one is willing to take a few new steps in one direction or another. But expecting people to 180 because of something one says is too much.
That's why I said they have to be as willing as I am to look at evidence. If I'm not willing at all, I have no right to expect them to be. But this also applies to them.
Don't expect me to listen to a rant about some person who called Barack Obama some name if you have bumper stickers on your car calling George Bush names. On the same subject, don't expect me to be more respectful towards a president I didn't vote for than you were towards a president you didn't vote for.
I will be, because I have a sense of decency and respect towards office. But don't expect it, because you didn't put that tip in the karma jar.
That's what I mean by that. I just expect people to be as open themselves as they expect other people to be listening to them. Invariably this doesn't happen. As you said, because they consider their views "right".
Posted by: airforcewife at November 19, 2008 12:36 PM (Fb2PC)
SCOFFED AT
Over the weekend, I told my fertility journey story at SpouseBUZZ Live. After the event, a handful of wives came to me and thanked me for sharing. They too have had difficult journeys and appreciated my candor. My friend from my real life was shocked; she had no idea that any of this had happened to me in the past six months. And typically, that's why I like sharing, because it's a private thing but people want to know that there's someone out there who groks. We've even had an audience memeber share her journey at a SBL who said she never even told her parents about her miscarriages. But she shared with me.
I wish it were always that simple and touching.
Instead, I also met two ladies who openly scoffed at my woes. They heard my entire story -- dead babies, failed fertility treatment -- and looked at me derisively and said that I just haven't been patient enough. Apparently I am just being silly in thinking that two years is a long time to try and that 31 is getting a late start. Nevermind the fact that they weren't that much older than me and their kids are teenagers. Wait, did I say "kids"? I meant their "whoopsies" pregnancies. Oh good golly, am I pregnant, how did that happen? Whoopsie! They got done telling me about their whoopsies and said that I am just impatient.
And I sat there and took it and then excused myself and left. Because I am polite.
I wish it were possible to type their tone of voice. I'm glad I had a witness to this conversation who assured me later that I wasn't overreacting.
People never cease to amaze me.
But I am trying very hard to be content with the people who were grateful I told my story, instead of dwelling on the naysayers. Guard Wife offered to throw hands for me, but I told her that it's really my problem and that I need to take a deep breath and not let it ruin my night. I kept reminding myself of this:
The first line of the most popular book in Buddhism, The Dhammapata, goes something like this: All that we are is determined by our thoughts. It begins where our thoughts begin, it moves where our thoughts move, it ends where our thoughts end. If we think thoughts like he hurt me, he stole from me, he is my enemy, our life and our destiny will follow that thought as the wheel follows the axle. And if we think thoughts like he cannot hurt me, only I can hurt myself, he cannot steal from me, he cannot be my enemy, only I can be my enemy, then our life and our destiny will follow those thoughts.
There will always be naysayers and boorish people. The only thing I can control is how I let it affect me.
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You know my offers are w/out expiration date so even when we're old and in rocking chairs & you need someone's larynx punched, just lean over and tell me & I'm on it.
After this weekend, though, I know that I have so many 'alternative' methods of destruction...elbows, knees, feet...Ha-Ha!!
Posted by: Guard Wife at November 18, 2008 03:55 AM (eb8pN)
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In my experience, it's always those who have it "easy" who judge those of us who have to work at being parents. Sad to say, but we spent much of our lives avoiding the "whoopsies." When I turned 30 and wanted a baby vs. telling my 15 yr. old to not have one. Selfish me.
I'm proud of your grace. I would have probably handled it the same way because, for some asinine reason, I tend to not try and offend people I'm talking to, especially about sensitive issues.
Bitches.
Posted by: Susan at November 18, 2008 06:10 AM (4aKG6)
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I can't believe someone (two people!) actually said something so rude. Ugh. Some people deserve to be slapped. They don't know how lucky they are, both with their "whoopsies", and also that people like you (and me too) are too polite to give them the verbal backlash that they deserve for being so inconsiderate. Ugh.
Posted by: Leofwende at November 18, 2008 07:23 AM (jAos7)
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It's often said that people who are insulting online would never say such horrible things in person. Even if that were generally true, sadly there is no shortage of people who can be cruel in real life. Who did these vicious women think they were? I would have lost it if I were you.
People never cease to amaze me.
They amaze us in good ways as well. I admire your ability to keep your cool when confronted with idiocy. And I am moved, both by the positive reaction from your audience and by the very real loyalty of your "imaginary" friends.
I just found an online translation of the Dhammapada. Here's a word-for-word analysis of the passage you referred to.
I was relieved to see that the original starts with Manopubbaṅgammā dhammā (mind-before-going [is] mental-phenomena) because I don't think that "All that we are is determined by our thoughts." "All that we think is determined by our thoughts" (my loose translation) is still too tautological for my taste, but closer to the truth. I used to believe in mind over matter (i.e., that one can be whatever one wants to be), but over the years I've come to recognize the importance of nature and nurture. Nonetheless, it is true that we determine what is in our minds, even if we can't determine "[a]ll that we are". We may not be able to control external stimuli, but we can choose to ignore some things and fixate on others to our detriment. Hence we often make ourselves suffer, and in such cases, only we can set ourselves free.
Posted by: Amritas at November 18, 2008 08:04 AM (+nV09)
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I totally would've wanted to take Guard Wife up on her offer and then, while the "ladies" were gasping and recovering on the floor, advised them to "just be patient - you'll be able to breathe soon enough."
But in reality, yeah, I would've done the same, non-confrontational thing... they're just so obviously not at that point where they have developed empathy yet.
I'm glad that you know you were able to help others, though! :-) Sharing really does strengthen us all...
Posted by: kannie at November 18, 2008 08:13 AM (iT8dn)
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I would pay to watch a martial arts movie in which Guard Wife lives up to her name. Imagine GW giving those two a paralyzing touch.
"just be patient - you'll be able to breathe soon enough."
Great line, kannie.
they're just so obviously not at that point where they have developed empathy yet.
The sad thing is ... they may never develop empathy.
But Sarah won't let that get her down. She won't let the likes of them mess up her mind.
Posted by: Amritas at November 18, 2008 08:56 AM (+nV09)
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That's just . . . mean! Argh.
You did not overreact. People who feel they must tell you how to live your life are people who really ought to look at their own.
Some of us have to WORK at fertility. Thankfully, we did not have the trouble you guys have had, but we had miscarriages and setbacks, too, and Ian is our little blessing from God.
I'm glad you shared your story. Even though a couple people felt the need to judge your actions, more people were comforted by your positive attitude, optimism, and ability to relate.
You are in my prayers!
Posted by: Deltasierra at November 18, 2008 09:03 AM (1TJiE)
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You took the high ground on that one. Very classy, but, those of us who have come to know you a little through your blog would expect nothing else. You are a classy lady and gentle.
Having said that, guard wife, there were two of 'em. I got your back girl, let me know when and where.
Posted by: Pamela at November 18, 2008 09:29 AM (T27wJ)
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if i may be so bold as to add yet another of my brilliant words of wisdom (haha), when i told my boss that i had just returned to work from the doctor's office and that i learned that i had lost one of my twins, her response was, "oh, you must be so relieved!". I'll never forget it. someday i can share jim ross's theory of stupidity (or stupid people say the stupidest things), but suffice it to say, you are right: you can't control what other people do, only how you react. must be those good midwestern values that your wonderful mama and dad taught you
Posted by: kate at November 18, 2008 02:52 PM (576n8)
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There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of living. --The Count of Monte Cristo--
While our troops go out to defend our country, it is incumbent upon us to make the country worth defending. --Deskmerc--
Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, WWII, and the Star Wars Trilogy. --Bart Simpson--
If you want to be a peacemaker, you've gotta learn to kick ass. --Sheriff of East Houston, Superman II--
Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. You just leave a lot of useless noisy baggage behind. --Jed Babbin--
Dante once said that the hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in a period of moral crisis maintain their neutrality. --President John F. Kennedy--
War is a bloody, killing business. You've got to spill their blood, or they will spill yours. --General Patton--
We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over. --Full Metal Jacket--
Those who threaten us and kill innocents around the world do not need to be treated more sensitively. They need to be destroyed. --Dick Cheney--
The Flag has to come first if freedom is to survive. --Col Steven Arrington--
The purpose of diplomacy isn't to make us feel good about Eurocentric diplomatic skills, and having countries from the axis of chocolate tie our shoelaces together does nothing to advance our infantry. --Sir George--
I just don't care about the criticism I receive every day, because I know the cause I defend is right. --Oriol--
It's days like this when we're reminded that freedom isn't free. --Chaplain Jacob--
Bumper stickers aren't going to accomplish some of the missions this country is going to face. --David Smith--
The success of multilateralism is measured not merely by following a process, but by achieving results. --President Bush--
Live and act within the limit of your knowledge and keep expanding it to the limit of your life.
--John Galt--
First, go buy a six pack and swig it all down. Then, watch Ace Ventura. And after that, buy a Hard Rock Cafe shirt and come talk to me. You really need to lighten up, man.
--Sminklemeyer--
You've got to kill people, and when you've killed enough they stop fighting --General Curtis Lemay--
If we wish to be free, if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending, if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained -- we must fight! --Patrick Henry--
America has never been united by blood or birth or soil. We are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us what it means to be citizens. Every child must be taught these principles. Every citizen must uphold them. And every immigrant, by embracing these ideals, makes our country more, not less, American. --President George W. Bush--
are usually just cheerleading sessions, full of sound and fury and signifying nothing but a soothing reduction in blood pressure brought about by the narcotic high of being agreed with. --Bill Whittle
War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
--John Stuart Mill--
We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle, our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on the one hand and of overwhelming force on the other. --General George Marshall--
We can continue to try and clean up the gutters all over the world and spend all of our resources looking at just the dirty spots and trying to make them clean. Or we can lift our eyes up and look into the skies and move forward in an evolutionary way.
--Buzz Aldrin--
America is the greatest, freest and most decent society in existence. It is an oasis of goodness in a desert of cynicism and barbarism. This country, once an experiment unique in the world, is now the last best hope for the world.
--Dinesh D'Souza--
Recent anti-Israel protests remind us again of our era's peculiar alliance: the most violent, intolerant, militantly religious movement in modern times has the peace movement on its side. --James Lileks--
As a wise man once said: we will pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.
Unless the price is too high, the burden too great, the hardship too hard, the friend acts disproportionately, and the foe fights back. In which case, we need a timetable.
--James Lileks--
I am not willing to kill a man so that he will agree with my faith, but I am prepared to kill a man so that he cannot force my compatriots to submit to his.
--Froggy--
You can say what you want about President Bush; but the truth is that he can take a punch. The man has taken a swift kick in the crotch for breakfast every day for 6 years and he keeps getting up with a smile in his heart and a sense of swift determination to see the job through to the best of his abilties.
--Varifrank--
In a perfect world, We'd live in peace and love and harmony with each oither and the world, but then, in a perfect world, Yoko would have taken the bullet.
--SarahBellum--
Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free. --Ronald Reagan--
America is rather like life. You can usually find in it what you look for. It will probably be interesting, and it is sure to be large. --E.M. Forster--
Do not fear the enemy, for your enemy can only take your life. It is far better that you fear the media, for they will steal your HONOR. That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse. --Mark Twain--
The Enlightenment was followed by the French Revolution and the Napoleonic wars, which touched every European state, sparked vicious guerrilla conflicts across the Continent and killed millions. Then, things really turned ugly after the invention of soccer. --Iowahawk--
Every time I meet an Iraqi Army Soldier or Policeman that I haven't met before, I shake his hand and thank him for his service. Many times I am thanked for being here and helping his country. I always tell them that free people help each other and that those that truly value freedom help those seeking it no matter the cost. --Jack Army--
Right, left - the terms are useless nowadays anyway. There are statists, and there are individualists. There are pessimists, and optimists. There are people who look backwards and trust in the West, and those who look forward and trust in The World. Those are the continuums that seem to matter the most right now. --Lileks--
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
--Winston Churchill--
A man or a nation is not placed upon this earth to do merely what is pleasant and what is profitable. It is often called upon to carry out what is both unpleasant and unprofitable, but if it is obviously right it is mere shirking not to undertake it. --Arthur Conan Doyle--
A man who has nothing which he cares about more than he does about his personal safety is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the existing of better men than himself. --John Stuart Mill--
After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, "Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes." The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, "Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference." --Dave Grossman--
At heart I’m a cowboy; my attitude is if they’re not going to stand up and fight for what they believe in then they can go pound sand. --Bill Whittle--
A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship. --Alexander Tyler--
By that time a village half-wit could see what generations of professors had pretended not to notice. --Atlas Shrugged--
I kept asking Clarence why our world seemed to be collapsing and everything seemed so shitty. And he'd say, "That's the way it goes, but don't forget, it goes the other way too." --Alabama Worley--
So Bush is history, and we have a new president who promises to heal the planet, and yet the jihadists don’t seem to have got the Obama message that there are no enemies, just friends we haven’t yet held talks without preconditions with.
--Mark Steyn--
"I had started alone in this journey called life, people started
gathering up on the way, and the caravan got bigger everyday." --Urdu couplet
The book and the sword are the two things that control the world. We either gonna control them through knowledge and influence their minds, or we gonna bring the sword and take their heads off. --RZA--
It's a daily game of public Frogger, hopping frantically to avoid being crushed under the weight of your own narcissism, banality, and plain old stupidity. --Mary Katharine Ham--
There are more instances of the abridgment of freedoms
of the people by gradual and silent encroachment of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations. --James Madison--
It is in the heat of emotion that good people must remember to stand on principle. --Larry Elder--
Please show this to the president and ask him to remember the wishes of the forgotten man, that is, the one who dared to vote against him. We expect to be tramped on but we do wish the stepping would be a little less hard. --from a letter to Eleanor Roosevelt--
The world economy depends every day on some engineer, farmer, architect, radiator shop owner, truck driver or plumber getting up at 5AM, going to work, toiling hard, and producing real wealth so that an array of bureaucrats, regulators, and redistributors can manage the proper allotment of much of the natural largess produced. --VDH--
Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves. --Marcelene Cox--