July 17, 2007

PIECE OF CRAP LIST

I got tagged by Anwyn to do 8 facts about me. I already did 13 of them a while back, and 100 when I started blogging, so I'm gonna twist this meme into something I've been wanting to do for a while: a Piece of Crap list. I first saw this on Right Wing News, and now whenever something is driving me nuts, my first thought is that it would definitely go on my Piece of Crap list. So 8 things that I hate:

1) Krispy Kreme donuts
They have too much glaze for me, but mostly I just hate how people keel over with ecstasy whenever you mention them. I love donuts more than the next person, but I hate name-brand donut worship.

2) Dave Matthews Band
There's no real good reason why, but I don't like any of their songs except for "Satellite." I think their music is grating, and they were so ridiculously popular when I was in college that it made me hate them even more.

3) Jay Wolfe Nissan of Kansas City
When we bought our first car, we decided to buy an extended warranty. We specifically told the dealership that we were moving to Germany soon and that we'd never live in Kansas City in our lives. Naturally, we came to find out that they sold us a warranty that was specific to their dealership and that has a $150 deductible at any other Nissan dealer. Oh, and it didn't work at all in Germany, even though they told us it would. So it was a huge waste of money, and I'm extra mad because it's not like we moved unexpectedly and just had bad luck: we told them all of this up front and they intentionally sold us something that wouldn't work for us. Piece of crap dealership.

4) dolphins
Everyone thinks dolphins are these beautiful, peaceful creatures, but they're not. Just because they have a cute face and look like they're smiling doesn't mean they're nice. Dolphins rape their females and kill their babies. Not so cute after all. I've seen enough Discovery Channel to completely get over any ideas that dolphins are magical.

5) baja sauce
As you well know, I'm an enormous Taco Bell fan, but one thing I can't stand is this sauce they put on certain items. I call it baja sauce because the first time I encountered it was on a baja chalupa, but there is no official name for it -- with which I could ask they leave it off of my order -- and they sneak it on to many new items. I can handle most foods, but this sauce turns my stomach and ruins anything it touches. Thus it's hard to try new things at The Bell; every new item could contain the dreaded sauce. Ugh, just thinking about it makes me sick.

6) glow-in-the-dark
Perhaps it is because my brother used to think it was funny to lock me in the bathroom while we were playing with glow-in-the-dark legos, but something caused me to be extremely disturbed by anything that glows in the dark. Whenever I would get glowing keyrings or toys as a kid, I'd always have to make sure they were completely covered up before bedtime. And don't even get me started on those stupid stickers people put on their ceilings. To this day, I can't sleep if something is phosphorescing in the bedroom. Creeps me out.

7) France
This one barely needs any explanation, but I'll give the short version. I lived there for a year. I was constantly mocked, had trash thrown at me, got cussed out, threatened with rape, grabbed on the street, and chased by a guy on a moped so I had to crawl under a car to hide and escape from him. I don't really feel like returning to France anytime soon.

Harry Potter
This one might ruffle some feathers, but I just don't get the Harry Potter craze. They're kids' books. I'm glad kids are enjoying reading in this video game age, but I don't get all the hype the adults have built up. When I homeschooled a boy five years ago, he read a few chapters of one of the books out loud to me. It's a book for children and it reads like a book for children; I don't understand why adults are going bananas for them. I understand if you want to read the book so you can discuss it with your kids, but really getting into it and fighting over who gets to read it first? My parents never flipped out and bought three copies of Ramona Quimby. Because it was a kids' book and they didn't care. I just don't get why adults are reading Harry Potter; don't they have grown-up books to read?

Anybody else want to do a Piece of Crap List? If so, consider yourself invited. Or add one piece of crap in the comments.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:00 AM | Comments (23) | Add Comment
Post contains 838 words, total size 5 kb.

1 Damn - you don't even like dolphins? That's kind of mean. They are nice to people though. I read once that there has never been a recorded case of a dolphin or orca attacking a person. Oh, and I love glow-in-the-dark stuff. Reminds me of the 70s.

Posted by: John Rohan at July 17, 2007 04:15 AM (BfPzY)

2 Dolphins are fine, but I hate dolphin worship. They're no different from any other animal. And yes, I've swum with them and petted them and stuff. I've petted turtles and opossums too.

Posted by: Sarah at July 17, 2007 04:23 AM (vrR+j)

3 I'd like to add Nietzsche to the piece of crap list. Also, War and Peace. And basically anything people wax poetic about because if you've read it, it must mean you're smart. I once knew someone who would attempt to inject Nietzsche into EVERY conversation we ever had. We could be talking about Victoria's Secret thongs, and he would say, "You know, as Nietzsche said..." It got to the point where I wanted to smack him upside the head with a copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra. Oh - and Dr. Spock. Big piece of crap there.

Posted by: airforcewife at July 17, 2007 04:49 AM (0dU3f)

4 oh oh Rachel Ray worship... I LOATHE her, and I was watching the financial report only to hear shes like a kagillionaire now. Her cooking is basic Her voice is grating And tuna out of a can and mac and cheese do not make you a chef. My 3 year old can come up with better dinner ideas

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at July 17, 2007 05:20 AM (PjrBf)

5 Ouch. Distilled down to a nutshell, I like Harry Potter because 1) I would have loved to be able to wave a wand and do magic when I was a kid, and Rowling builds that word cleverly and credibly; 2) Classic good v. evil, bad guys (mostly) get what they deserve; 3) Her characters are easy to empathize with. Somebody was complaining to me the other day that she should have been severely edited because "I hated middle school. I don't need to live it again." I said, "Well, maybe that means she's a pretty good writer if she can make you feel it again that acutely." Anyway. I still occasionally enjoy re-reading some of my favorite books from childhood, so the fact that they are children's books barely registers with me, much less bothers me. Bottom line: she's created highly entertaining stories that make you want to know what happens next.

Posted by: Anwyn at July 17, 2007 05:54 AM (dzxw9)

6 Anwyn -- I haven't re-read any of my childhood books, mostly because I loved them so much as a child and I'm afraid they might not live up to the standard I set for them. I am sure they are more simple than I remember. And I didn't know you were a Harry Potter reader; I certainly didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Many people in my life love those books, my father included. I just don't get it, and this is the first time I've said it out loud

Posted by: Sarah at July 17, 2007 06:24 AM (vrR+j)

7 You didn't hurt my feelings ... beyond what saying "ouch" can get rid of. Just thought I'd put up a modicum of defense for those of us adults who love HP. The beauty of your childhood favorites being simpler than you remember is that you can polish off a re-read in one day. Heh. Actually, I read a new children's book not too long ago: _Holes_. It's good. I'm kind of fortunate that I still like children's books, since I'm needing to build up a stock of them that I think a little boy would like, as opposed to the little girl I used to be.

Posted by: Anwyn at July 17, 2007 06:55 AM (dzxw9)

8 I like Harry Potter books, too, but not in the fighting-over-them sort of way. I like the story line, and I think that, for children's books, they are written very well. I laughed about the baja sauce because I also hate it. And I think of you every time I go there What would be on my piece of crap list? Reality tv. I think I am the only person in America who does not watch American Idol or the like. For me, it would be a colossal waste of time.

Posted by: Kate at July 17, 2007 07:08 AM (tB/4l)

9 Starbucks: It’s JUST freakin’ coffee people Rap: Put a “C” in front of it Unusual pets like ferrets, snakes, monkeys: Just get a dog and quit trying so hard to get attention Hyphenated Americans: E Pluribus Unum, ‘nuff said Narcissism People who take sports WAY too seriously Vegetarians: We’re carnivores, get over it Redundancy

Posted by: tim at July 17, 2007 07:36 AM (nno0f)

10 Actors, singers, etc who earned an audience through talent (or in some cases "talent") then misuse that reach to spread their sophomoronic views about world affairs, politics, climate, etc. Shut up and sing, or get off the stage.

Posted by: Tim Fitzgerald at July 17, 2007 01:49 PM (hCd4F)

11 LOL! You are too funny. I'll just say that I love some of the things you don't, but we all got our, um, issues. Thanks for the laugh so early in the morning.

Posted by: Butterfly Wife at July 18, 2007 02:06 AM (gI6/R)

12 This is an action, not a thing. I can't stand people who slow down on the on-ramp to the interstate. If you don't understand the theory behind an on-ramp, you shouldn't be driving. Also, people who are perfectly willing to take advice about global warming from a politician/businessman (Gore), but won't acknowledge anything I have to say (Geologist/Environmental Scientist). Love the one about the Dolphins.

Posted by: James at July 18, 2007 03:31 AM (DxgIR)

13 airforcewife - I was at a party and some guy started talking about Nietzsche. My buddy asked him if he had ever been in prison. He had. My friend had been in jail. He told me that people who had been to prison like to quote Nietzsche. I guess to justify their lives?

Posted by: Patrick in Toms River at July 18, 2007 08:22 AM (BCedX)

14 I had to laugh at Jay Wolfe Nissan. My company gets all their company cars through Jay Wolfe, and the service has always been a little shady. Since my job description covers the vehicles, I always get to deal with them. My favorite is when I have to take the van in to service at the Chrysler dealership in Lee's Summit, I'm pretty much stuck. (I work in Westport. For those who aren't familiar with KC, Lee's Summit is about 20 miles southeast.) They'll be more than happy to call me a rental car, but they won't give me a loaner. I do so love Jay Wolfe.

Posted by: Joel at July 18, 2007 08:55 AM (bNgS/)

15 John Rohan, sorry buddy, there have been recorded attacks on humans and even inter specie rape.

Posted by: unkawill at July 18, 2007 10:35 AM (YwdKL)

16 KK Donuts are great when you can go to the store, and they are making them hot and fresh. Otherwise, they are no better than Dunkin, Daylight, or Safeway, really. But I DO like the massive amount of sugar glaze, yum! Nuke 'em and they are almost as good, until they get to be 3 or more days old, then they suck.

Posted by: donuts at July 18, 2007 10:39 AM (Xi5mv)

17 Harry Potter is overrated. The movies just got darker and darker and more depressing. The first one was kinda fun. But really, there is so much more for adults to read. Have you read Ted Dekker? Great author. Try "Obsessed", it'll knock your socks off.

Posted by: hairy potty at July 18, 2007 10:43 AM (Xi5mv)

18 I don't get the Harry Potter craze either. At the very start of it, a supposedly highly intelligent friend of mine recommended I read it because the level of writing was so "HIGH" compared to other books for children. Total waste of time. Agree with you on France. I would add: Rap (agree with Tim - put a C in front of it) Incompetence Passing the buck People who view Europe as intellectually and socially superior just because they have been to one or two large European cities on vacation and liked the public transport. Self-loathing Americans - perhaps that is redundant with the above statement? Romance novels

Posted by: pattycake at July 18, 2007 12:06 PM (IPPgn)

19 Really dumb entertainers who have millions of dollars who think their opinion is worth one cent more than anyone else's.

Posted by: John at July 18, 2007 12:56 PM (FeeWU)

20 If John Edwards were a cook he would bake Krispy Kreme Donuts. Vacuous insubstantial crap rapped in sugar glaze. Hate France, check. Think its a crime that JK Doweling has more money then the Queen, just for writing pre teen power fantasys for budding homosexuals. I'm with you on Dave Mathews band and dolphins. Iowahawk did a piece suggesting that car dealers deserve their own circle in Dante;s Hell. I agree with that to some extent. Although I am still looking for that rare honest car dealer, so far it's a search in vain. I haven't encountered Baja sause, so I have no opinion as yet. I am indifferent to phosphorescents.

Posted by: papertiger at July 18, 2007 08:45 PM (mqoa4)

21 Kate, I'm with you on reality TV. I have never seen more than 30 seconds of any reality TV show when flipping the channels (unless you lump Jeopardy in with other reality TV competition shows like American Idol and the celebrity dance show...). One couple with whom we are good friends can't get enough of ANY reality show. We can't even discuss TV anymore -- usually leads to argument over the merit of giving a damn about some random person's life (which I tent to not do...) Adding to the list: Idiots who spew their political view on any topic in the discussion, but offer no intelligent discourse on said topic. If you want to just make a statement with no thought behind it, please move to Washington DC and join the rest of your brethren. Anyone who has ever written a check at the grocery store since 1997. The debit card works the same way and gets me through the line about 4 minutes more quickly. The personal lives of ANY celebrity are crap. I don't care who had a baby/who's in rehab/who's boinking whom/etc. By extension, the mere existance of People magazine, Entertainment Tonight and other related media annoys me.

Posted by: SlithyToves at July 19, 2007 10:15 AM (hHZ38)

22 I'm with the previous commentors on reality tv being on the "crap" list. I would definitely add Sprint...they've been firing customers and they're the ones that should be fired. I'm a Dunkin Donuts fan versus Krispy Kreme...but I've got to say that I do love Rachael Ray.

Posted by: Nicole at July 21, 2007 07:05 AM (S/s4V)

23 Orson Scott Card wrote an essay about one of the characters, and included some discussion of how the Harry Potter books moved from children's books to adult books. "I think the power of the Harry Potter books surprised even Rowling. Certainly there is a progression of tone from the first volumes through the later ones. I spoke before of darkening, but it might rather be viewed as a de-lightening. The first volume was like J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit in that it was self-consciously a children's book, full of delightful jokes. Dumbledore, like the Wizard Gandalf in The Hobbit, was a trickster, a jester. The world was full of wonders that were, quite simply, fun; game-playing and riddle-solving were at the heart of the story. It was a romp. Even including the climax, the book was light -- in physical weight, in voice, in mood, and in moral consequence. But the later volumes steadily progressed to ever-more-serious consequences, with ever-fewer moments of genuine frivolity. There was still humor, but it had a darker edge. Why? Because Rowling was no longer telling a children's story, she was telling a story that happened to be about children. The light tale-for-children tone turned to the much darker hues of a story rising out of the author's unconscious. Much has been said about how Rowling had the whole series planned from the beginning. I believe that this is true -- up to a point. The asymmetry in the lengths of the books suggests that Rowling began to fill her pages, not with deliberate (and intellectual) inventions, but with story that simply flowed and often went in directions that simply felt right to her. Most important, she went from the sharp, clear black-and-white morality of the first book to a far more shaded and nuanced view of good versus evil. You could almost always tell good guys from bad guys in Stone because good guys were nice to Harry and bad guys were mean. But by the time we found our way through Prisoner of Azkaban, we had a "good guy" -- Sirius Black -- who had been, as a student, perfectly capable of setting up the probable murder of his fellow student Severus Snape. Yet Black remained on the good-guy team... ...The result is that the moral universe of the Harry Potter novels moves from clarity to a deepening chiaroscuro in which truth can lurk in shadows and error can stand in the sun. This is the kind of thing that authors rarely plan; it happens when they themselves become immersed in the tales and let their unconscious mind lead them down paths they had not anticipated." There's a lot more obviously, I won't quote the whole thing at you. http://www.intergalacticmedicineshow.com/cgi-bin/mag.cgi?do=issue&vol=i5&article=_card-essay And then there's the whole thing about how a good story is a good story, which everybody can enjoy...

Posted by: Sabbrielle at July 30, 2007 10:10 PM (nMpWu)

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