I occasionally type outlines of what I want to cover in phone calls and letters. The trouble is that when the phone is away from the computer, I can't see my outlines. I'm too cheap to print out anything unless I absolutely have to. Besides, there are always surprise topics. On the one hand, you can't plan everything, but on the other hand, I hate hanging up and realizing I forgot to mention something. So I take notes, hoping to revisit those overlooked topics next time.
I hope you get more than thirty soon - and more than once before he returns!
Posted by: Amritas at December 22, 2009 05:19 PM (dWG01)
Amritas -- Unfortunately, 30 min is the limit where he is. We'll just have to store it all up until he returns.
Posted by: Sarah at December 22, 2009 06:09 PM (gWUle)
Will's limit was 20 minutes. I used to think we were lucky when we got 24, but the day we talked for 38 whole minutes, I felt like I had hit the jackpot.
Wishing you some surprise extra minutes until he comes home and nonstop thereafter
Posted by: Susan at December 22, 2009 11:06 PM (EU2Wl)
Those limits are always hard. Especially because at the end, you kind of feel like you're trying to say a bunch in a short time and once you hang up, neither one is sure what the other said except, 'Love you!'
I can't wait until you can talk his ear off all you want.
Posted by: Guard Wife at December 22, 2009 11:42 PM (wsy47)
I can't imagine, but I sure do appreciate the sacrifice.
Posted by: Nicki Magnuson at December 23, 2009 12:21 AM (fqQct)
Sarah - I hope you get more than 30 minutes soon..... I was glad to read that your mom is coming to spend christmas w/you. I am sure you're picturing your next Christmas as a family of 3.
Posted by: Keri at December 23, 2009 09:42 AM (dtvJC)
OMG you get 30 minutes! We do the 15 at a time thing and I'm fairly sure that, other than our very abbreviated daily text/email system, he is far more flippant and jovial to his entire FB page. Our d-date is Jan5! I sometimes catch myself being irrational and thinking "I wonder if he'll still like me??" Granted we've gotten to have Sunday morning Skype's for about an hour for 1/2 of his deployment, but mostly those are general flirtations and idly talking about Call of Duty while his obnoxious friends play in the background or his hormones. lol. It's not the same at all though! Not like that living breathing day-to-day thing we have with them! Yesterday he dubbed me his queen ... Queen of Irrationality. Since I have my own fiefdom would you like to be a Duchess? lol. Take care!
Posted by: Darla at December 26, 2009 11:05 AM (XvIN7)
Darla -- OMG you get skypes and texts and FB! Ha...everyone has it different. This time around, it's easier for my husband to use a phone than a computer, which is a huge difference from previous deployments. I'd give anything in the world right now for one webcam session...
Posted by: Sarah at December 26, 2009 11:43 AM (gWUle)
A BAG OF CHARCOAL
Thank you all for your kind words on my previous post. I must admit, I love the delurking. I'm not completely set on a course of action at this point; I plan to wait until baby arrives to see just how busy I really get. Until then, you're stuck with me.
And now for something completely different.
My mother starts heading my direction today to spend Christmas with me. I am getting quite excited to see her. And though all I could muster this year in the way of decorations was a 2-ft Christmas tree and a couple of holly-covered placemats on the table, I am feeling pretty festive.
Stay tuned this week for a few of the things that put a grin on my face this Christmas, like another photo of my growing belly, and the latest ultrasound photo...
There should be a new Eddie DVD coming out here in the US soon, I hope. Â It's called Stripped and it's out in the UK. Â I got to see him perform some of the material a while ago and it was brilliant. Â Keep an eye out. Â
No, I don't work for him. Â
Posted by: Code Monkey at December 23, 2009 10:07 PM (GN0tT)
I NEED A SURGE
I was waffling for a while, but I have decided to go with a surge strategy: I shall get down to brass tacks and put out the effort to beat Karl Rove. So I need to get
off the computer and get reading. Eight books in 20 days...too bad I already read Animal Farm back in February.
I wish the internet counted as a book. I read that all the time.
A PERSONAL UPDATE
Just a little personal note to check in...
I am doing well these days. I just started my third trimester. I finally started feeling chipper and relatively pain-free, and now all pregnancy info says "Welcome to the third trimester; it's gonna start sucking again!" I'm not ready for that; I just started enjoying myself.
Last night I felt a foot for the first time. Baby was kicking and then she had one looooong pushing kick, and I put
my fingers there and pushed back, and I could feel her body parts
through my belly. That was a milestone I have especially enjoyed.
My husband is confident that he will be home two or three days before my due date. As long as baby stays put until then, he should be here for the delivery. Let's just hope she doesn't want to show up early.
Oh, and my husband finally has better access to computers...only all blogs are blocked from viewing. We just can't win.
And I have eight more books to read before the end of the month if I want to beat Karl Rove. I am not sure I can make that happen, which makes me mad that I didn't read more books in September. I may start cheating and reading Encyclopedia Browns or something.
How funny you should mention Encyclopedia Brown. I know a little redhead who will very much enjoy reading about EB once Santa makes a stop this year.
Posted by: Guard Wife at December 10, 2009 12:27 PM (9Obau)
Guard Wife: I just LOVE those books. Love them. To this day I can't hear about the Battle of Bull Run or cut my fingernails after a shower without thinking of good old Encyclopedia Brown. I also loved The Great Brain series, fwiw.
Posted by: Sarah at December 10, 2009 01:22 PM (gWUle)
There's always the comic book option. Eight in one day? Easy.
I've never read an Encylopedia Brown or Great Brain book. I thought the latter was also a mystery series but I just learned from the Wikipedia article that the series was something else that seems more complex - like a male Little House on the Prairie?
Posted by: Amritas at December 10, 2009 02:33 PM (dWG01)
You would not believe what I have been reading. I had knee surgery a month ago, on my good knee, not the biggy total knee replacement but a whole lot more painful than I expected. And the physical therapy almost has done me in, so I have spent a lot of time on heating pads or sitting in front of the computer. Anyway, my sister rounded up about 20 of the Amish women books, several different authors, so that is what I have been reading. Its kind of like the Bobbsey twins turn into Amish romances. A nice mind candy bunch of books. Also a lot of time online. Okay everybody, don't let me hear you snicker.
Posted by: Ruth H at December 10, 2009 06:50 PM (CvvEA)
Ouch, Ruth. I mean your surgery and its aftermath, not your choice of reading.
Growing up in Hawaii and having studied and taught at West Coast universities, I had no idea those Amish romance books even existed until I moved to New Jersey where Wal-Mart and the local supermarket stock tons of them on racks far from, um, reading material with more technology. Are those books easy to find in Texas? I wonder what their pattern of distribution is.
Posted by: Amritas at December 10, 2009 07:35 PM (dWG01)
Amritas, The Danish woman who cleans for me saw them today and picked them up to ask about them because she saw them in Fredericksburg Tx last week in an Amish store. It is a German tourist town. I've heard the Amish women love them. I actually looked one author up on her website. I have never noticed them because I never looked for them, but my sister found some of them in Walmart here in our town of Rockport, TX. She also told me they have them in their church library. They may be in their teens section. The ones I found at the library were in adult fiction and looked very used. They are in paperback. They are a little like the continued novels I used to see in Redbook magazine as a girl. Each book is a continuation of the previous and leaves you in a light suspense. They also take a little longer than two hours to read, depending on length. I read pretty fast, and skim a lot on some books .
Posted by: Ruth H at December 10, 2009 08:41 PM (zlUde)
I'm so happy to have a baby update! I've been wondering how things are going. I'm so excited your husband might get to be there for the birth!!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed it works out. Just keep reminding her she needs to wait for daddy!
I have nothing to add to the book discussion. It seems I never have time to read anymore. : ( One of these days!
Posted by: sharona at December 10, 2009 10:22 PM (BeRta)
Haven't commented in a while, but I still check in every day. I'm SO GLAD to hear that your husband may be there for the delivery!!!
I've been on quite a reading binge lately, after quite a long hiatis from books. I went through the entire 'Clan of the Cave Bear' series in about 6 weeks. I had read the first two about 20 years ago, and now all five. Ms. Jean Auel had BETTER be writing number six, 'cause I'm just dying to know what happens next!! She can't leave me hanging like that!
Then I went back to another author I had read years ago and really enjoyed: Chaim Potok. Looking him up in the library computer, I saw there was a sequel to a book I read before, so I checked them both out: My Name is Asher Lev, and The Gift of Asher Lev. Both excellent reads. He writes mostly about Hasidic Jews in modern times in all of his books. These two are about a young man whose parents are heavily involved in the higher levels, but he is a driven artist who sometimes crosses the line of what is 'acceptable' in their religion. Fascinating to read of a culture I know next to nothing about. Excellent author--his first book was The Chosen, also very good.
I'm planning on starting For Whom the Bell Tolls today. I don't believe I've ever read any Hemmingway before, and feel somewhat less of an American because of it.
Enjoy the third trimester!! Are you waddeling yet? ;o)
Posted by: MargeinMI at December 11, 2009 07:25 AM (Rx/UC)
Marge -- On a stiff day, I walk like an emperor penguin.
Posted by: Sarah at December 11, 2009 07:49 AM (gWUle)
Sarah - I had been wondering how you were feeling so I am glad you updated us. ALSO, so happy to hear your husband will potentially be home for your babys arrival. Did you get those belly pics taken yet?
Posted by: Keri at December 11, 2009 08:43 AM (dtvJC)
Thanks for the information. I had been assuming Amish romances were only sold in the northeastern US, so I was surprised they were available in Texas.
Sarah walks like an empress penguin!
Posted by: Amritas at December 11, 2009 07:01 PM (dWG01)
I used to play a game with the Captain before she was born: I'd push on her foot and she'd push back. Always loved it. Once she was born, I'd rub the bottoms of her feet and tell her that it was the very first part of her that I "met". I still do it sometimes I change her. That part of your post definitely made me smile. So glad you're starting to enjoy yourself, and that your husband should be back in time. Here's hoping you're the typical first timer who goes late!
Posted by: Ann M. at December 12, 2009 12:58 AM (+GQ3g)
Amritas, There are a lot of Amish and Mennonite colonies in Texas, I know some right here in South Texas. They sell at our local farmer's market; wonderful baked goods and best cherry pies ever. And the wife of the man who actually is here the most, told me he always helps her with the baking! Her name is Ruth, also. They usually come to our local herb festival I help put on. I just didn't know they had romance novels.
Posted by: Ruth H at December 12, 2009 02:40 PM (JFseb)
that is fantastic news!!! now at least can you email him photos so he can get belly updates? you can even sharpie your belly "foot" "head" ... lol
Posted by: Darla at December 13, 2009 03:24 PM (XvIN7)
On a technical workaround note, if your site software has some way to enable full RSS feeds (rather than the first x number of characters, which it does currently), then your husband could use Google Reader or another RSS reader to read your blog. Pretty much no one blocks Google (even the Army), so this is my primary workaround in such situations.
Posted by: Sig at December 20, 2009 12:03 PM (/Mv9b)
TABLES HAVE TURNED
My family is doing Thanksgiving today because my brother and dad had to work on the real holiday. And I got such a chuckle when my mom called to ask how I make my cranberry sauce. I'm just glad she didn't call me in the middle of the night!
Two years ago, I wrote about something my father did that I found completely selfless and the true essence of parenting: he lent me his glasses. But I never wrote the post I could've written six years ago when my mother did the same.
My husband and I hosted our first Thanksgiving dinner when we lived in Germany. I had called my mother ahead of time and asked for all her recipes and how to cook a turkey, stuffing, gravy, and just about everything. I got started on Thanksgiving morning, thinking that I was squared away, but once I began cooking, I realized I still had several questions. Questions that couldn't wait several hours until Mom's time zone caught up to morning.
And so I gulped and picked up the phone. I called my mother in the middle of the night back in the US to have her walk me through some last minute snags. (Like what in the hell I was supposed to do with the neck. Turkey neck is about the grossest thing I can think of. I'd rather have a mouse in my kitchen than deal with a turkey neck. I am already freaking out that I have to touch one tomorrow.)
My mom wasn't upset that I interrupted her sleep, she never acted put out, she just answered my questions and helped me keep on cooking. And poor mom had to make her own dinner in a few hours, now on much less sleep.
I have been feeling cold feet lately, worried that I might not be a good mother, that I might not enjoy it, that I will be overwhelmed by the magnitude of what I am taking on. But when I think of these times that my parents still selflessly help me out, even when I'm an adult, I figure that they wouldn't do that if being a parent weren't rewarding.
Thanks, Mama. And if I need help tomorrow, at least we're only one time zone apart this year...
Thank you for the kind words. I do remember that Thanksgiving, and even though you were in France and could not be home, it was the next best thing to your being home. I know it was not easy being away for a year and especially on holidays, but those phone calls made that Thanksgiving very special to me. Love you so much.
Posted by: Sarah at November 25, 2009 06:50 PM (0DENp)
Parenting is not easy, but the love is. And it endures forever. You already love your little daughter, you have hopes and dreams for her. There is no love like mothers and fathers for their children. I am so glad thankful you are so close to the enjoyment part of your baby. We had some thankful news today, my daughter in law had all sorts of scans Monday and the news is good. She is still cancer free. Happy Thanksgiving to you and all your readers, yes, you lurkers, too!
Posted by: Ruth H at November 25, 2009 08:06 PM (JFseb)
if you did not question it I would think you were not human
As for the turkey neck and giblets, I cook with butter, onion, mushrooms, and celery, water, sage, and I use it for stuffing. After the neck simmers in there all day, I clean the turkey neck meat off, and put it in the stuffing, same with innards..
Posted by: awtm at November 25, 2009 08:40 PM (1Wrb8)
It is very good of you to be wondering about your abilities, etc. as this is a major adventure on which you are about to embark. That you realize the gravity of the job now speaks volumes. Better to know now and plan accordingly then to not take it seriously and wind up in a mess later.
You are going to be a fine Mom and if in doubt, you have already know you can call yours day or night to ask for advice. Trust me. She'd MUCH rather talk about her grandbaby than turkey neck! LOL
I can't wait to meet your baby girl so I can tell her how lucky she is.
Posted by: Guard Wife at November 25, 2009 09:06 PM (I6LTM)
Mama's will gladly wake up in the middle of the night to help our children. You learn how to be a parent from your parents. Sounds like you have had excellent teachers.
Posted by: Pamela at November 26, 2009 11:34 AM (KqPQU)
Happy Thanksgiving! And I may have said this before, but you have very wise readers... You will be a wonderful mother - you already are.
Posted by: jck at November 26, 2009 07:11 PM (MUmm4)
Ah! That's so sweet! And btw Happy Late Thanksgiving from a friend who also despises Turkey necks!! ...
Posted by: Darla at November 28, 2009 07:25 PM (XvIN7)
btw and as much as I have quite the love/hate relationship with the phrase 'You will be great parent!' about as much as the 'Your husband will be home SOON'and 'I know what you feel!' [when they haven't done the infertility struggle] and my all time favorite 'this year you will get pregnant I KNOW it' [killer ESP abilities .... I just want you to know how excited I am about this whole thing for you! And I am so excited about your baby and this whole new adventure you will be embarking on and undoubtedly do so well! [we will all fail ... but we can all shine as well!] You are fantastic!
Posted by: Darla at November 28, 2009 07:42 PM (XvIN7)
BOOK LIST V
I've got six weeks to catch Karl Rove...I might make it, if I didn't exhaust my light reading during this batch.
50) The Road To Serfdom (F.A. Hayek) The previous nine books have been largely fluff, so I decided I needed to do some mental calisthenics of my own. I thought Capitalism and Freedom was an easier read, but this wasn't as dense as I'd been warned. And I'm glad I read it.
49) Everything Bad Is Good For You (Steven Johnson) This was an interesting book, the premise of which is that popular culture is making us smarter, not dumber. It's the reassurance I need after watching Idiocracy! Johnson argues that people are doing more mental calisthenics these days from playing Sim City vs playing checkers or watching complex shows like 24 compared to the old Dragnet. He argues that our leisure time is spent following more complex forms of media, which work to make us smarter, counter to popular wisdom.
My favorite anecdote was this:
Several years ago I found myself on a family vacation with my seven-year-old nephew, and on one rainy day I decided to introduce him to the wonders of Sim City 2000, the legendary city simulator that allows you to play Robert Moses to a growing virtual metropolis. For most of our session, I was controlling the game, pointing out landmarks as I scrolled around my little town. I suspect I was a somewhat condescending guide--treating the virtual world as more of a model train layout than a complex system. But he was picking up the game's inner logic nonetheless. After about an hour of tinkering, I was concentrating on trying to revive one particularly run-down manufacturing district. As I contemplated my options, my nephew piped up: "I think we need to lower industrial tax rates." He said it as naturally, and as confidently, as he might have said, "I think we need to shoot the bad guy."
48) The Apostle (Brad Thor) I think I might've liked this one better than The Last Patriot. Blasphemy! And now I'm out of Brad Thor.
47) The Last Patriot (Brad Thor) Like the Da Vinci Code, but for Islam. I think I may have built up the excitement too much over the past two years, but it was still enjoyable.
46) The First Commandment (Brad Thor) I'm on my way to The Patriot, finally. I liked this one, as usual. A very good use of Biblical plagues...
45) Glenn Beck's Common Sense (Glenn Beck) I enjoyed this book, but I am finding that right-wing nutjobbery just doesn't do the same thing for me that it used to do. Back when I read Larry Elder or Dinesh D'Souza for the first time, I had never been exposed to writers who said the things I was thinking. Now that I surround myself with likeminded people, these books aren't as shocking as they once were. Still worthwhile, but they don't pack the punch they once did.
43) Never Again (John Ashcroft) My aunt lent me this book while I was visiting my grandparents, and I read it in a day. I enjoyed reading about the rationale behind the PATRIOT Act and other aspects of 9/11 that I was too clueless to follow at the time.
42) Eaters of the Dead (Michael Crichton) I finished the previous book on my flight out to San Diego and started this one on the way home. It was unlike his other books, and not really my favorite, but it was OK.
41) Sphere (Michael Crichton) I needed a quick book to read on the airplane, so I always reach for Crichton. As usual, he didn't disappoint.
Micheal Crichton wrote a book called Travels back in '88 that was a really good read. Apparently I've lost my copy... :-(
Posted by: Beth at November 20, 2009 10:25 AM (ZT9NN)
Are you excluding For the New Intellectual from your list because it's really only a new essay plus a lot of reprints from books you're already read? (I can't remember if you've read For the Living.)
I have not read Everything Bad Is Good for You, but if we assume its premise is correct, I must be one of the stupidest people in America, since I read zero popular fiction, have not seriously watched any TV other than V in years, have never played a video game designed after the mid-90s (and even that attempt lasted a few minutes in 1996 and was the first time I had played any video game since 1985), etc.
Seriously, I wonder, does this increased ability to deal with complexity have any sociopolitical consequences? I doubt it. Being able to follow a complex TV show makes you more ... able to follow a complex TV show. Millions of these modern media sophisticates voted for Obama, even though it does not take a genius to question his credentials.
Complexity is not intelligence. The former often entails a lot of brute force memory which may or may not be accompanied by analytical ability. Is a speaker of Sanskrit more 'intelligent' than us because his adjectives have 72 forms corresponding to a single form in English? There are perhaps a billion people who use Chinese characters, but how many of them understand how their writing system works?
I am finding that right-wing nutjobbery just doesn't do the same thing
for me that it used to do. Back when I read Larry Elder or Dinesh
D'Souza for the first time, I had never been exposed to writers who
said the things I was thinking. Now that I surround myself with
likeminded people, these books aren't as shocking as they once were.
Still worthwhile, but they don't pack the punch they once did.
I know what you mean. I thought Dinesh D'Souza was a big deal when I discovered him back in 1992 and I enjoyed Goldberg's Bias in 2002. But I now find most Rightist writing to be extremely boring. I pretty much know what they're going to say, and I don't need the reinforcement. But I can still be surprised ... e.g., by Lindsey Graham the other day.
Do you watch the movie adaptations of Crichton's books?
Posted by: Amritas at November 20, 2009 01:53 PM (+nV09)
I didn't mean my first question to sound hostile. Sorry if I came off that way.
I was too harsh when I wrote,
"There are perhaps a billion people who use Chinese characters, but how many of them understand how their writing system works?"
The vast majority of users understand the basic principles, but the structure of many characters - including the most common - is probably opaque to most users. For instance, the standard Mandarin possessive marker çš„ de - the most common character of all - is composed of ç™½ bai 'white' + å‹º shao 'ladle'. Why? (The answer is on my blog.)
Chinese writing is like English spelling - one uses it every day without thinking too much about it: e.g., why write words with silent gh? (Hint: compare such words with their German cognates containing nonsilent ch:night with Nacht,through with durch, etc.)
"But I can still be surprised ..."
It would have been better if I had ended that sentence with an example of a surprising passage in a Rightist book instead of Graham's behavior. But I can't remember a single passage in, say, Bias - I just remember thinking, I feel like this guy!
Posted by: Amritas at November 20, 2009 03:55 PM (+nV09)
Sweetie (or in this trimester, sweaty may be more appropriate) did you know the movie "the 13th Warrior" is based off "Eaters?"
I could recommend a few really good history books, if you ever finish this list. They aren't texts, per se, but they are fascinating reads.
As for light reading, I am all into John Ringo for scifi--and believe it or not, got hooked by his "The Centurion" a non-scifi but very near future yarn. Excellent read. David Webber is another really good read--I am starting his second book in the Armageddon's Reef series. Horatio Hornblower meets LtCDR Data. Fun reads, and like the old masters, based on a view of what could happen in our own society.
And for chuckle till the bed shakes and read whole passages to the Mrs. reading, I totally recommend Tim Dorsey. His hero is a bipolar manic depressive serial killer, who uses really creative and interesting ways to kill people. But the real gem is the dialog and the way he absolutely NAILS Florida culture and inhabitants.
Amritas, You have a golden opportunity to start a blog based on pictures of Chinese character tattoos--what they say and what their wearers think they say. If you are ever bored, I could think up about a thousand sayings I would love translated into Chinese, Korean, whatever. The fact that you understand the language, beyond just the mechanics, fascinates me as much as it humbles me. I am a smart guy, but damn. Compared to you, on a scale between Smart and Dumb, I'm just above knowing better than to eat my own boogers and yet still doing it.
Posted by: Chuck Z at November 22, 2009 12:39 AM (bMH2g)
38) A Thousand Splendid Suns (Khaled Hosseini) AirForceWife lent me this book, and I read it very quickly and cried all through the last segment. It was a good, though horrifying, story.
37) The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy (Vicky Iovine) I got a few laughs out of this book, learned some things, and especially appreciated the chapter on what to pack to take to the hospital. It also saddened me to keep reading about all the things a husband should be doing during a pregnancy...
35) Class 11: Inside the COA's First Post-9/11 Spy Class (TJ Waters) I really enjoyed this book and thought it was super interesting, but I am still shocked that he was allowed to write it. I learned many things that I supposed I wouldn't be allowed to learn about the CIA.
34) Bold Fresh Piece Of Humanity (Bill O'Reilly) My mom wanted this book for Christmas, so she brought it back so I could read it. I have never been the biggest O'Reilly fan, but this book rounded out his personality for me and made him more of a complete character than just his show does.
33) Showdown (Larry Elder) Larry Elder always challenges me to think more libertarian.
32) Takedown (Brad Thor) Another good one, as usual. I especially liked the idea of inventing a second attack on the US after 9/11. And I love Jack Rutledge as president.
31) A Red State of Mind (Nancy French) I have known about this book for a long time, and Nancy French has even commented here a couple of times, but I just finally got around to reading it. I thought it was charming as all get-out. And if I ever thought I was irritated by Kerry voters in 2004...
And I apologize for saying "notice" in my comment about Cosmic Justice, as if you wouldn't have already known that. I assume Sowell also made the same point about cosmic government. Looking back (just a few minutes ago!), I don't know what I was thinking.
Posted by: Amritas at October 12, 2009 03:20 PM (+nV09)
As I read Brad Thor's Wikipedia entry, I wondered why Hollywood hasn't adapted any of his books yet. Oops, I forgot that Hollywood has "the best moral compass". So no eeeevil books must ever be made into movies. Never mind.
My remark yesterday about American attitudes in the 40s toward the Japanese came to mind when I stumbled onto this passage by democide expert RJ Rummel:
During World War II I was a
young boy highly influenced by anti-Japanese war propaganda. I saw the
Japanese as buck toothed, monkey-like, inscrutable, cruel and devious,
and without feeling or sentiment. It was a cultural shock, therefore,
to see the Japanese people as they really are while I was stationed in
Japan during the Korean War. I found that the Japanese were nothing
like my war engendered stereotypes. They could laugh and cry and love
flowers and animals. They could be loving and considerate. Moreover,
this period was close enough to the Second World War for me to see
still the effects on the people and cities of American bombing. This
experience had a life-long effect, for it made me ask myself why, if we
are really all the same as human beings, we make war on each other.
Rummel is an expert on peace studies, but he's no Goodist.
Posted by: Amritas at October 13, 2009 02:40 PM (+nV09)
I feel better now. I have recommended Amity Shlaes book to many but I did find it dense and slow going, anyway it sure gave us the facts!
I recommend the "The Kite Runner" it is a book I could not put down till I finished it. My granddaughter who was then 14 had it on her reading list at school. She is very advanced, 16 now she is doing rounds at hospital as part of her school plan. I also recommend "The Life of Pi", I think you will see you have been living it. Also got it from granddaughters pile of books. If you read it I will send you a copy of the song my son wrote about it, it is great, but I will have to have his permission. Read now, babies take a lot of attention.
Posted by: Ruth H at October 14, 2009 09:30 PM (adQh6)
Ruth -- I have wanted to read New Deal or Raw Deal too. I wonder how its density compares...ha. I have read Life of Pi, but years ago. And I saw the Kite Runner movie but didn't read the book first.
Posted by: Sarah at October 15, 2009 08:29 AM (gWUle)
I'm leaving this morning for SpouseBUZZ Live Camp Pendleton. Will be in the gulch this weekend and thus out of the loop. Which is good, because I could use a break from the UN and ACORN.
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My husband has sent a couple emails lately that show he's been thinking a lot about our daughter. He's wondering what she'll look like and how their relationship will be. I find it endearing. I haven't thought about her much beyond a theoretical level yet, so I found it cute that my husband thinks about her concretely.
But today I realized that someday, like Chuck, my husband will get to do this.
It's the pink jacket. The jacket just made that picture.
Posted by: chuck at September 08, 2009 10:49 PM (bMH2g)
"H-hit"? That's so un-humanitarian, so un-Castro! We'll have to work harder to get rid of that Second Amendment, but nuclear disarmament comes first!
When U.S. President Barack Obama presides over a meeting of world leaders in
the Security Council on Sep. 24, he will provide a high profile political platform
for two of the most sensitive issues at the United Nations: nuclear non-
proliferation and nuclear disarmament.
We fear your children. They might vote us out of office!
Posted by: kevin at September 09, 2009 11:22 AM (+nV09)
TOO COMPLICATED RIGHT NOW
I haven't been a very good wife for the past few years.
I was thinking the other day about how miserably I failed for my husband's birthday. Granted, we still didn't have a mailing address for him, but I was so nonchalant about it. And this year I didn't get him anything for our anniversary either. He comes in and says he'd like to give me my present, and I just stared at him. Then he laughed and said, "You mean I freaked out and ran out to buy you something for no good reason?" Ha. The thought really just hadn't crossed my mind.
The first time he was deployed, I mailed him 24 presents for his 24th birthday. It came so easily to me.
But I have been absentminded since then. I have been so focused on this whole stupid having a baby thing that I have really been lazy about being a good wife.
And I feel guilty that now I miss him, but in a selfish way. Like I need him to be here to dote on me, to encourage me, to be Randall to my Dante. I am bitter that I have to cash my chips via email.
But he is busy and stressed and frustrated with his own issues. And the poor man can't cash any chips at all. He alludes to the desire to, but he's not allowed.
Our lives are too complicated right now, in two completely different ways.
I miss the simple days. Bringing him sack lunch while he was the gold bar recruiter. Quizzing him for his vehicle identification test at OBC. Studying for our German driver's license together. The first deployment, when all I did was brainstorm ways to make him smile.
I was looking at old photos of us the other day, and somehow my husband turned into a man while I wasn't paying attention. The difference between 19 and 29 is astounding.
I've been too preoccupied to miss him yet...but I miss him this morning.
Yeah, I was thinking about that the other day...about wishing I could lay around in my boxers all day (and not have a gut to worry about), watching Cartoon Network, eating cereal for 3 of my 4 meals (with microwave burritos round it out). No, now, I have to clean the house, mow the lawn, pay the bills, walk the dog, go for a run, work on home improvement projects, etc... I've often said we've got it backwards...you should get to goof off until you're 55 then work till you die...instead they tease us with HS and College, make us work 40+ years and then when you're too tired and old to really enjoy it...they let you lay around in your boxers (who cares about a gut at 65), watching Price is Right, eating Oatmeal for 3 of 4 meals (a trip to the $4.99 buffet at Sizzler rounds it out), while you basically wait for it all to end. You start in a diaper and end in a diaper...but you get all the S*#t in the middle. Wow, that just came out way more cynical than it was supposed to...at any rate...the complicated stuff is what makes life interesting...seriously, do you want to sit around watching cartoon network for 60 yrs?
Posted by: Matt at August 08, 2009 09:09 AM (wNBv7)
IF what you've blogged here is any indication, your husband knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that you adore him, and is comforted and gifted in that knowledge alone. The extravagant measures get fewer and farther between when the shit is hitting the fan in all directions. That's ok. That's when you settle into that little niche of knowing that if you have to go through hell, you have someone by your side (if not literally, at least emotionally regardless of distance) and THAT will take you farther than any romantic gesture alone.
It really sucks when you are going through something big alone and they are going through something big alone and there is no way for it to intersect. It just does.
And it's ok to miss him for the reasons that you miss him. He misses you for the same reasons. And it shouldn't be any other way.
Be gentle with yourself. You ARE a good wife.
Posted by: Val at August 08, 2009 11:32 AM (5btL/)
What matters is not so much what you do for him on his birthday or on an anniversary, but on each and every day of the year.
Notice how people resort to romantic gestures to try to make up for big mistakes, as if a one-time gesture can compensate for long-term error. Conversely, not getting your husband anything for your anniversary does not negate everything you've done right. Many can get gifts but few feel love as intense as yours. Your husband is truly blessed.
this whole stupid having a baby thing
It's not stupid if he wants a baby too. When you focus on the baby, you're doing so for him as well.
And I feel guilty that now I miss him, but in a selfish way. Like I
need him to be here to dote on me, to encourage me, to be Randall to my
How do you think you're supposed to miss him, if you're supposed to miss him at all? I don't see anything wrong with this.
I'd be much more concerned if you didn't miss him.
Posted by: Amritas at August 08, 2009 01:29 PM (h9KHg)
4I miss the simple days. Bringing him sack lunch while he was the gold
bar recruiter. Quizzing him for his vehicle identification test at
OBC. Studying for our German driver's license together. The first
deployment, when all I did was brainstorm ways to make him smile.
MacGyver and I were talking about this the other day (with regard to our own lives). We miss our old days as well, regardless of our current situation. It *was* simple back then.
For our decade anniversary I skipped tradition and got the Mrs. a pair of 1/2 ct diamond earrings. I was excited that we'd been married so long and been through so much. I put much thought into the gift, contacting both the jeweler and jewelry designer who made her engagement ring. I bought the earrings, and gave them to her inside another gift--one that was much more functional, and more my retarded style of gift giving: a garbage disposal.
In return, to mark our tenth anniversary, she got me...
It doesn't matter though. The next year, for her birthday, I boycotted gift giving because she refused to tell me anything she wanted. (I bought myself a gun instead). We're weird like that. Usually, for any holiday requiring the exchanging of gifts, we end up realizing there is little we need or really even want. We're happy with each other, and with what we have.
What you have right now is a bun in the oven, a mass of cells dividing like gangbusters, and growing faster than the federal deficit. That, my dear, is what you need to focus on. He understands that, and no gift you could possibly give him could compare.
Also, you could buy him a new gun, and tell him it's waiting for him upon return.
Personally, I think he'd enjoy a pair of dehner boots. I have a pair, and although expensive, I've never owned a better pair boots, unequal in craftsmanship, quality, and comfort to any other I've ever worn.
Posted by: chuck at August 08, 2009 03:31 PM (bMH2g)
Alteration in focus...it happens especially when you have a lot going on. It is "easier", when there are none of life's harsh events. Your family could be potentially growing and with all that both of you have been through, I would guess you are having to compartmentalize to get through. My guess is, he feels ore guilt than you, for being gone for most of this....so I am sure he feels the same....
Posted by: awtm at August 08, 2009 05:03 PM (hYOWx)
29) Hemma hos Martina (Martina Haag) I try to read occasionally in French and Swedish, since reading is the only way to keep up my skills. Only until this year, I thought I was doing it a lot more frequently. It's amazing how few books I can read in a year! But my friend sent me this book at Christmas and I hadn't gotten around to reading it yet. And thank heavens, because it was about a pregnant lady. It might not have been so charming to read a few months ago. But I got to learn lots of new Swedish words that never come up in regular conversation: moderkaka, fÃ¶rlossning, fostervattnet, mÃ¶dravÃ¥rdstant, etc. Because when I lived there ten years ago, I didn't have conversations about placentas and amniotic fluid.
28) Cool It (BjÃ¸rn Lomborg) I loved the article "Get Your Priorities Right" when I read it three years ago, and Cool It is a fleshed-out version of how we would get more bang for our buck solving other problems like malaria and AIDS than global warming. I usually use Lomborg's ideas when debating global warming with believers because, while I am still skeptical, Lomborg definitely believes in anthropogenic global warming...yet he still doesn't think we should make it our top priority. It makes for good middle ground with believers: even if you concede that global warming is real and is caused by man, there is still a debate to be had over whether it is our most pressing global issue. BjÃ¸rn Lomborg says no way.
27) The Sandbox (milbloggers) I still have to review this for SpouseBUZZ. I will link my review once I write it, hopefully by the end of this week. Update: Um, it took more than a week, but here it is.
26) Congo (Michael Crichton) I was halfway through The Sandbox when my husband deployed, and I didn't exactly feel like reading military stories the night he left, so I grabbed a Crichton book instead. It didn't disappoint.
25) Blowback (Brad Thor) My favorite Brad Thor book so far. But "so far" is definitely a relative term.
24) The 5000 Year Leap (W. Cleon Skousen) Glenn Beck has been promoting this book, so I picked it up. It was good, but it's kinda...basic for me. I think it would've been much more valuable to read when I was 18 instead of now. There were some more in-depth lessons that I appreciated, such as the one on the origins of separation of powers, but overall I think I already grasped most of the lessons. But I'll hang on to it and hand it to my kid someday.
23) My Grandfather's Son (Clarence Thomas) Back in February, Amy recommended this book. I went back and read her recommendation today, and she was totally right: I got such a jolt when Clarence Thomas first discovered Thomas Sowell! I enjoyed reading this book and was saddened that the only mental association I previously had with this man had to do with a Coke can. To have worked his whole life, up from not having electricity and running water, to have it culminate in that. It's depressing, really.
22) Natural Selection (Dave Freedman) This novel's premise was Michael Crichton-esque: What if nature made an evolutionary leap and a new predator emerged from the depths of the oceans? The cover proclaimed the book to be a great "beach read," but that would've scared the bejesus out of me. As it stands, I have been wary of my plecostomus ever since...
21) Discover Your Inner Economist (Tyler Cowen) While there were times when it felt like Cowen was a little too SWPL for me, overall the book was interesting. I especially liked learning about micro-credit, and I immediately went to Kiva.org and donated to a bricklayer in Tajikistan. I begged my husband to let us pick out someone to lend to once a month. I have long felt like I wanted to do more giving, and the idea of "lending to the working poor" immediately appealed to me. I am so motivated to keep this up.
Oh, I definitely have to try Congo! Maybe when I finish this horrifyingly interesting travesty that is The Ancestor's Tale.
Honestly, the evolutionary insights are fascinating, but he even managed to stick a reference to the "illegal war for oil" into a book about evolution! Sheesh almighty, people!
Posted by: airforcewife at August 03, 2009 08:23 PM (CDkfD)
You read the book I recommended. I feel like a celebrity!!!
Posted by: Amy at August 04, 2009 09:32 AM (9fDOS)
I was just reading your book list. I just got done with GB's Common
Sense. Definitely a good quick read if you haven't picked it up
already. Right now I'm rereading Michael Yon's A Moment of Truth in
I still have yet to start Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged and will hopefully
start it later this month. I tried getting into Liberal Facism but just
had to put it down for now.
I DO really want to read that book John Stossel always touts in his
healthcare reports called The Cure - it's a comparison between US and
Canada healthcare and how capitalism improves healthcare. Forget who
it's by, but it is a hard book to find. I don't even think they sell it
Posted by: bdol78 at August 04, 2009 11:59 AM (W3XUk)
Swedish compounds are fun! Using this dictionary, I tried to figure out the meanings of the ones you mentioned:
moderkaka - mother-?cake = 'placenta'
fÃ¶rlossning - fore-unloading = 'childbirth'
fostervattnet - fetus (not 'foster'!)-water-the = 'the amniotic fluid'
Posted by: Amritas at August 04, 2009 02:50 PM (+nV09)
Good work, Amritas! The cool thing was that I didn't even have to look them up; I figured them out from context in the story. I googled them all when I wrote this post just to make 100% sure my hunch had been correct. I used to have this rule when I lived in Sweden and read tons of books: if the word appears three times and I still can't figure it out by context, then I look it up. Otherwise, dictionary use just ruins the flow of a story. You can actually read and understand a lot without knowing all of the words.
Posted by: Sarah at August 04, 2009 04:02 PM (TWet1)
THE CURE IS NOT THE CURE
I do this every deployment: I get to this point where I don't even intentionally do it, but I realize I have started listening to The Cure. (I did it last July too.) It's just not such a good plan when you're trying to stay upbeat. But "Disintegration is the best album ever" and it's hard to avoid music you like.
The thing is that The Cure has so many deployment-applicable lyrics:
I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I almost believe that they're real
I've been living so long with my pictures of you
That I almost believe that the pictures are
All I can feel
However far away
I will always love you
Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone
For the telephone to ring
And I'm wondering
Where she's been
And I'm crying for yesterday
And the tap drips
Drip drip drip drip drip drip drip...
It's always the same...
AWTM said I need to listen to The String Beans instead, something cheery. I'd better go find some Elvis or Weezer instead.
The Cure is one of my faves as well and, I didn't realize it before, but I seem to plug them in a great deal when my husband is gone too. How weird!
Maybe I'll just download the whole album from iTunes and REALLY have a good, rainy day??
Posted by: Guard Wife at July 23, 2009 09:53 AM (qk9Ip)
Oh, see, I have a tendency to listen to crap like the Top Gun Soundtrack during deployments. And I have to steer clear of Motown and Sarah Mclachlan at all costs - it's a Pavlovian thing for me. I'll just stop there...
Posted by: airforcewife at July 23, 2009 10:21 AM (CDkfD)
I failed to mention two anniversaries this week, two events that mean a great deal to me.
First was the Apollo XI mission. Over recent years, I have developed an awe with the engineering feat that was the space program. I love imagining the what-ifs and the science problems and the minutae. And I can't put into words the profound sense of Americanness I feel when I think about it, despite the fact that I too experience "contradiction in the conservative soul." Nevertheless, it makes me feel alive, and confident in my fellow man.
Second was the anniversary of Willis Carrier's invention of the air conditioner, an invention that put food on my table and a roof over my head for the first 18 years of my life. And one for which I am sure my husband is eternally grateful right about now.
If the federal government is going to pay for my thrills, why shouldn't it pay for everyone else's?
Space is not my thrill, so I don't feel his "contradiction in the conservative soul". But I might feel it if there were some massive government-run language documentation program. Learning about obscure languages is my equivalent of learning about whatever's on the Moon. Nonetheless, I cannot evade his question. I cannot rationalize a program just because it benefits me personally. Conservatives are accused of being selfish, but they shouldn't be selfish.
I vaguely recall Ayn Rand or some other Objectivist writing about how the space program was wonderful, though it would've been nice if it were private. But this excerpt of an Ayn Rand article I rediscovered has no such caveat. Rand herself was there:
I found myself waving to the rocket involuntarily, I heard people
applauding and joined them, grasping our common motive; it was
impossible to watch passively, one had to express, by some physical
action, a feeling that was not triumph, but more: the feeling that that
white objectâ€™s unobstructed streak of motion was the only thing that
mattered in the universe.
What we had seen, in naked essentialsâ€”but in reality, not in a work of artâ€”was the concretized abstraction of man's greatness.
One knew that this
spectacle was not the product of inanimate nature, like some aurora
borealis, or of chance, or of luck, that it was unmistakably humanâ€”with
â€œhuman,â€ for once, meaning grandeurâ€”that a purpose and a long,
sustained, disciplined effort had gone to achieve this series of
moments, and that man was succeeding, succeeding, succeeding! ...
That we had seen a demonstration of man at his best, no one could
doubtâ€”this was the cause of the eventâ€™s attraction and of the stunned
numbed state in which it left us. And no one could doubt that we had
seen an achievement of man in his capacity as a rational beingâ€”an
achievement of reason, of logic, of mathematics, of total dedication to
the absolutism of reality.
Frustration is the leitmotif in the lives of most men, particularly
todayâ€”the frustration of inarticulate desires, with no knowledge of the
means to achieve them. In the sight and hearing of a crumbling world, Apollo 11
enacted the story of an audacious purpose, its execution, its triumph,
and the means that achieved itâ€”the story and the demonstration of manâ€™s
Why hasn't the space program advanced much since then? Could W. Robinson Mason's question be the answer?
Also, the dog is mad at me. Or depressed. Or scared. Something. Because he is not himself.
He supposedly had fun at the boarder. But he came home a tangled mess, so I immediately took him for a shave-down the next day. Maybe that was too much. Maybe dropping him off with strangers a second time set him over the edge.
He keeps doing this hacking thing, almost like a seizure. And he hasn't barked in two days. Normally he's perched in front of the window to bark at anything he sees, but not a peep since he's gotten home. He hides, and won't make eye contact.
Or maybe it's the same old Charlie but you've been switched and he's waiting for the real Sarah to return from Vegas.
Seriously, the "hacking thing" sounds scary. As if you being sick weren't bad enough. I hope he - and you - recover soon.
Posted by: Amritas at June 26, 2009 05:06 PM (2eQQr)
Mamie does that as well. She doesn't like being separated from us for too long - especially not when she has to sleep in a kennel!
Ike doesn't appreciate it, but he's boarded enough that he takes it in stride. He used to sit on us and be glued to my leg when we brought him home, even if it was only an overnight!
One thing that has changed a lot about Ike is that he used to HATE the car. We had to corner him, grab him, and throw him in. Then we boarded him once. Then he realized the car meant he was going with us and not being left behind and now he loves to go for rides.
Dogs are weird.
Posted by: airforcewife at June 26, 2009 05:17 PM (NqbuI)
Is it possible he's got kennel cough? I believe that is something they have medication for. As for the not looking you in the eye . . . my dog used to do that after a haircut. It was like she was embarrassed about the new doo and she would hide for a few days until she got used to it. Seriously.
Hope all is back to normal soon!!
Posted by: rc at June 26, 2009 05:30 PM (89qJF)
RC -- That never crossed my mind because we got him vaccinated for it, but I suppose it's entirely possible. A reading of a few websites says it's something they can get even if vaccinated. I will keep an eye on him for phlegm/mucus/etc. Thanks for pointing that out.
Posted by: Sarah at June 26, 2009 07:45 PM (TWet1)
My dogs have come home before doing the hacking thing as well. At the time, my vet just told me to make sure they're drinking well and if it didn't resolve itself in about 4-5 days to come in. It did go away by itself. No fun at all, though. Hope Charlie's back to his old self soon!
Posted by: dutchgirl at June 26, 2009 08:23 PM (hLAkQ)
wait... aren't you also coughing?
Maybe it's sympathy coughing.
In all actuality, it's most likely kennel cough. No matter how much fun he had, he was
1. stressed, because he isn't used to being around other dogs
2. exposed to a whole host of other germs, bacteria, etc from those other dogs
3. IN a kennel (even if it was climate controlled) that exposed him to a different temperature, humidity, and dusts/pollens/allergens he isn't used to.
4. Plus, he's tired. He's been playing his ass off for the last week. He needs a staycation.
Fluids and rest, he'll eat wen he feels better, don't push the issue (lots of treats if he is being picky). Baby him (more than usual) and he'll be his old self in a day or two.
I could bring Major over for a playdate if you like... you busy Saturday?
Posted by: Chuck at June 26, 2009 08:53 PM (aY7Ir)
Sarah, Chuck's points 1-4 could more or less apply to you too. Not that you were in a kennel, but you are stressed, you were exposed to germs, etc. in Las Vegas and the airport, you were exposed to a different climate, and you are tired. Staycate yourself too!
Posted by: Amritas at June 26, 2009 08:59 PM (2eQQr)
Yikes, I just realized all four of Chuck's points could also apply to me and explain why I'm sick. My staycation is slowly helping me to recover.
Posted by: Amritas at June 26, 2009 09:07 PM (2eQQr)
If Charlie likes to bark, he may have barked a lot at the kennel and his throat is tired. Definitely would keep an eye on it, though! Poor little C-man.
Maybe he's just p-o'd he missed out on the saucy shows and bacon?
Posted by: Guard Wife at June 26, 2009 10:51 PM (UIGsI)
If he's hacking AND attacking his face with his paws, get him checked for a bad tooth or jaw infection.
Posted by: Oda Mae at June 27, 2009 01:01 AM (qTjVS)
Poor little puppy boy, he looks so sad. He missed his mommy and daddy. And he may make you pay. Dogs are pretty good at that. But he also may have kennel cough. So like everyone else says, watch him closely.
We had two visitor puppies over the weekend, one old little one and one little young mini dachshund who has not been neutered. I wanted to do it myself because he just kept after my little lady Yorkie, who has been spayed, every single minute. My son in law finally swatted him with a newspaper he was reading. It didn't hurt him but got his attention and he let up a little. Of course that was two hours before they left. Our Sally had a bath first thing this morning because he would just grab her hair (it is more like hair than fur) in his mouth and pull her around the room, getting her all slobbery and dirty. But she enjoyed the running around and chasing they could do when outside. She is only 14 months old so she needs a playmate occasionally.
Posted by: Ruth H at June 29, 2009 01:57 PM (KLwh4)
STARTED AT SPOUSEBUZZ BUT FINISHED HERE
My husband and I went on our much-anticipated vacation to "somewhere other than our parents' houses." We took two whole suitcases and had the time of our life. My husband did a much better job of relaxing than he did back in January. The vacation was perfect.
Until the last day.
And all of a sudden, I realized we were on Block Leave. I realized
that the end of this trip signaled the end of block leave, which means
July was coming soon, which means my husband is deploying.
My husband is deploying in like two weeks or so.
And I wanted the last day to slow down, to last forever, to never end.
I love having my husband home. I need to have my husband home
if we're ever going to successfully have a baby. But three years on, I
miss the deployment feelings. I miss the sense of connectedness, of
purpose, of conviction. It probably sounds strange, but I miss the
feeling of sacrifice, of knowing that I've given up being with someone
I love for the good of our country. Honestly, for me, the deployment
feeling hurts, but it's a good hurt, a deep and satisfying pain. And I
haven't felt it in three years. I feel ashamed that I've lived too ordinary of a life for three years.
I welcomed that last deployment. But this time, it just kinda seems too soon for me. It feels like he just got home. That coupled with my lack of emotional investment in Afghanistan has made me unprepared for him to leave this time.
I can't believe he's leaving.
The IVF clinic called me while I was at SBL Utah at the end of May. I haven't called them back. I've been stalling. I don't really care right now. I don't want to think about it. I know I need to call them back and get the process moving, but I just don't want to.
I'm kinda incredulous about life these days. I can't believe what's happening to my self, to my family, to my country. It's like I'm in a bad dream that I can't shake.
while not helpful, I think this makes total sense.
I expected you to say that your realization it was the last day and block leave was ending and the deployment was closing in was turning on your bitch switch. Because that is something I think I kinda do. As stupid as that is.
I hope these next few days are good and slow for you guys.
Posted by: wifeunit at June 26, 2009 10:38 AM (Y8fCw)
You know my husband doesn't get deployed or anything else these days but I do have a real quick bitch switch that I wish I didn't have. I've finally learned to control it somewhat unless I have a headache, the cut ants ate my plants, it is too hot, etc., etc.
Posted by: Ruth H at June 26, 2009 11:21 AM (4eLhB)
I'm years from deployments. Way back when, women weren't assigned to ships, so I didn't deploy, but my husband did. My feelings about deployments changed over the years. As brand new Ensigns, who had met during officer training, part of the worry was, will we still connect when we come back together? In the Navy, it was a real concern. Many other couples didn't make it over time. Later, we had the history together of knowing there'd be rough spots, but we got through them. When he was assigned to a carrier, he was gone for up to 7 months. The 6 months before a deployment were much harder than any other time. The ship would be in for a month, out for a month, in for 1 or 2 weeks, out for the same, until the deployment, plus overnight duty every 3 or 4 days. That was hard. I have the most trouble trying to balance the emotions of trying to get the most out of the time we were together, and the distance needed to survive when you are apart. Routines were impossible. This was true before children, then after as well. I'd want to sleep or do trivia or just plain avoid, but I'd want also to LIVE and take in just BEING with my husband while I could, and I couldn't do both, not very well anyway. I admit to being very glad when my husband had his last deployment. Our 2nd child was born on that last deployment. He met his son at age 3 months. We laugh about it now, me presenting him for approval, as if he could be sent back. That baby is now in the Navy with wife and child. The toughest time is always that limbo time with big events looming. In your vacation posts, my thoughts were, wow, this lady knows how to soak up the memories she'll need soon. I found UP to be a great movie, and one line stuck with me. It was made by the little boy Russell about his absent dad. 'It's the boring stuff I miss'. This deployment stuff stinks. I know. And, that carrier did go into harms way, at least by Cold War standards. There was a Syrian crisis and the ship turned around after it had started back home, extending the deployment, tough time for those of us waiting at home. Coffins were carried on board and were used every deployment. Flight decks are dangerous. I don't know how the danger will be for where your husband is going, but I do know that you have something I would have paid thousands for - the miracle of modern communication. Mail took "only" 10 days. There was no internet. We got phone calls in port, and they were at sea up to 4 or 5 months between port calls. I got 2 MARS ham radio calls that I cherish. The ship linked to ham operators, you'd get a collect call, and they'd patch you through to your husband. (No women on board remember). They calls wouldn't last more than 3 minutes and only one way communication, so you had to say 'over' to let the other person know they could speak. My husband was notified by a 2 sentence Red Cross telegram, which was transmitted as a short Navy message to let him know his child birth date and time, and that it was a boy, his size, weight and that he and I were both healthy. You've shown more wisdom to date than I did. I isolated myself more. You've built a social support system. It's tough, but you've made what you need to tough it out as the one who waits while the other deploys.
Posted by: HChambers at June 26, 2009 03:42 PM (YpVpF)
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There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of living. --The Count of Monte Cristo--
While our troops go out to defend our country, it is incumbent upon us to make the country worth defending. --Deskmerc--
Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, WWII, and the Star Wars Trilogy. --Bart Simpson--
If you want to be a peacemaker, you've gotta learn to kick ass. --Sheriff of East Houston, Superman II--
Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. You just leave a lot of useless noisy baggage behind. --Jed Babbin--
Dante once said that the hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in a period of moral crisis maintain their neutrality. --President John F. Kennedy--
War is a bloody, killing business. You've got to spill their blood, or they will spill yours. --General Patton--
We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over. --Full Metal Jacket--
Those who threaten us and kill innocents around the world do not need to be treated more sensitively. They need to be destroyed. --Dick Cheney--
The Flag has to come first if freedom is to survive. --Col Steven Arrington--
The purpose of diplomacy isn't to make us feel good about Eurocentric diplomatic skills, and having countries from the axis of chocolate tie our shoelaces together does nothing to advance our infantry. --Sir George--
I just don't care about the criticism I receive every day, because I know the cause I defend is right. --Oriol--
It's days like this when we're reminded that freedom isn't free. --Chaplain Jacob--
Bumper stickers aren't going to accomplish some of the missions this country is going to face. --David Smith--
The success of multilateralism is measured not merely by following a process, but by achieving results. --President Bush--
Live and act within the limit of your knowledge and keep expanding it to the limit of your life.
First, go buy a six pack and swig it all down. Then, watch Ace Ventura. And after that, buy a Hard Rock Cafe shirt and come talk to me. You really need to lighten up, man.
You've got to kill people, and when you've killed enough they stop fighting --General Curtis Lemay--
If we wish to be free, if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending, if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained -- we must fight! --Patrick Henry--
America has never been united by blood or birth or soil. We are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us what it means to be citizens. Every child must be taught these principles. Every citizen must uphold them. And every immigrant, by embracing these ideals, makes our country more, not less, American. --President George W. Bush--
are usually just cheerleading sessions, full of sound and fury and signifying nothing but a soothing reduction in blood pressure brought about by the narcotic high of being agreed with. --Bill Whittle
War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
--John Stuart Mill--
We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle, our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on the one hand and of overwhelming force on the other. --General George Marshall--
We can continue to try and clean up the gutters all over the world and spend all of our resources looking at just the dirty spots and trying to make them clean. Or we can lift our eyes up and look into the skies and move forward in an evolutionary way.
America is the greatest, freest and most decent society in existence. It is an oasis of goodness in a desert of cynicism and barbarism. This country, once an experiment unique in the world, is now the last best hope for the world.
Recent anti-Israel protests remind us again of our era's peculiar alliance: the most violent, intolerant, militantly religious movement in modern times has the peace movement on its side. --James Lileks--
As a wise man once said: we will pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.
Unless the price is too high, the burden too great, the hardship too hard, the friend acts disproportionately, and the foe fights back. In which case, we need a timetable.
I am not willing to kill a man so that he will agree with my faith, but I am prepared to kill a man so that he cannot force my compatriots to submit to his.
You can say what you want about President Bush; but the truth is that he can take a punch. The man has taken a swift kick in the crotch for breakfast every day for 6 years and he keeps getting up with a smile in his heart and a sense of swift determination to see the job through to the best of his abilties.
In a perfect world, We'd live in peace and love and harmony with each oither and the world, but then, in a perfect world, Yoko would have taken the bullet.
Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free. --Ronald Reagan--
America is rather like life. You can usually find in it what you look for. It will probably be interesting, and it is sure to be large. --E.M. Forster--
Do not fear the enemy, for your enemy can only take your life. It is far better that you fear the media, for they will steal your HONOR. That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse. --Mark Twain--
The Enlightenment was followed by the French Revolution and the Napoleonic wars, which touched every European state, sparked vicious guerrilla conflicts across the Continent and killed millions. Then, things really turned ugly after the invention of soccer. --Iowahawk--
Every time I meet an Iraqi Army Soldier or Policeman that I haven't met before, I shake his hand and thank him for his service. Many times I am thanked for being here and helping his country. I always tell them that free people help each other and that those that truly value freedom help those seeking it no matter the cost. --Jack Army--
Right, left - the terms are useless nowadays anyway. There are statists, and there are individualists. There are pessimists, and optimists. There are people who look backwards and trust in the West, and those who look forward and trust in The World. Those are the continuums that seem to matter the most right now. --Lileks--
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
A man or a nation is not placed upon this earth to do merely what is pleasant and what is profitable. It is often called upon to carry out what is both unpleasant and unprofitable, but if it is obviously right it is mere shirking not to undertake it. --Arthur Conan Doyle--
A man who has nothing which he cares about more than he does about his personal safety is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the existing of better men than himself. --John Stuart Mill--
After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, "Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes." The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, "Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference." --Dave Grossman--
At heart Iâ€™m a cowboy; my attitude is if theyâ€™re not going to stand up and fight for what they believe in then they can go pound sand. --Bill Whittle--
A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship. --Alexander Tyler--
By that time a village half-wit could see what generations of professors had pretended not to notice. --Atlas Shrugged--
I kept asking Clarence why our world seemed to be collapsing and everything seemed so shitty. And he'd say, "That's the way it goes, but don't forget, it goes the other way too." --Alabama Worley--
So Bush is history, and we have a new president who promises to heal the planet, and yet the jihadists donâ€™t seem to have got the Obama message that there are no enemies, just friends we havenâ€™t yet held talks without preconditions with.
"I had started alone in this journey called life, people started
gathering up on the way, and the caravan got bigger everyday." --Urdu couplet
The book and the sword are the two things that control the world. We either gonna control them through knowledge and influence their minds, or we gonna bring the sword and take their heads off. --RZA--
It's a daily game of public Frogger, hopping frantically to avoid being crushed under the weight of your own narcissism, banality, and plain old stupidity. --Mary Katharine Ham--
There are more instances of the abridgment of freedoms
of the people by gradual and silent encroachment of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations. --James Madison--
It is in the heat of emotion that good people must remember to stand on principle. --Larry Elder--
Please show this to the president and ask him to remember the wishes of the forgotten man, that is, the one who dared to vote against him. We expect to be tramped on but we do wish the stepping would be a little less hard. --from a letter to Eleanor Roosevelt--
The world economy depends every day on some engineer, farmer, architect, radiator shop owner, truck driver or plumber getting up at 5AM, going to work, toiling hard, and producing real wealth so that an array of bureaucrats, regulators, and redistributors can manage the proper allotment of much of the natural largess produced. --VDH--
Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves. --Marcelene Cox--