November 25, 2009


Two years ago, I wrote about something my father did that I found completely selfless and the true essence of parenting: he lent me his glasses.  But I never wrote the post I could've written six years ago when my mother did the same.

My husband and I hosted our first Thanksgiving dinner when we lived in Germany.  I had called my mother ahead of time and asked for all her recipes and how to cook a turkey, stuffing, gravy, and just about everything.  I got started on Thanksgiving morning, thinking that I was squared away, but once I began cooking, I realized I still had several questions.  Questions that couldn't wait several hours until Mom's time zone caught up to morning.

And so I gulped and picked up the phone.  I called my mother in the middle of the night back in the US to have her walk me through some last minute snags.  (Like what in the hell I was supposed to do with the neck.  Turkey neck is about the grossest thing I can think of.  I'd rather have a mouse in my kitchen than deal with a turkey neck.  I am already freaking out that I have to touch one tomorrow.)

My mom wasn't upset that I interrupted her sleep, she never acted put out, she just answered my questions and helped me keep on cooking.  And poor mom had to make her own dinner in a few hours, now on much less sleep.

I have been feeling cold feet lately, worried that I might not be a good mother, that I might not enjoy it, that I will be overwhelmed by the magnitude of what I am taking on.  But when I think of these times that my parents still selflessly help me out, even when I'm an adult, I figure that they wouldn't do that if being a parent weren't rewarding.

Thanks, Mama.  And if I need help tomorrow, at least we're only one time zone apart this year...

Posted by: Sarah at 06:15 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 Thank you for sharing that Thanksgiving story. You have fine role models as parents and I have no doubt you will be a role model.

Your parents gave so much to you because you had earned their love. Rearing you was rewarding for them. I remember the glasses story, and I'll remember this turkey story.

I have been feeling cold feet lately, worried that I might not be a good mother, that I might not enjoy it, that I will be overwhelmed by the magnitude of what I am taking on.

Although it never occurred to me that you could be anything less than an ideal mother, it is healthy to have cold feet. Warm feet are a sign of overconfidence and ignorance.

I do worry about what lies ahead for you, but I think you are as prepared as you can be. I wish you the best of luck.

I am grateful to have known you for the last six years. I look forward to the next sixty.

Posted by: Amritas at November 25, 2009 06:48 PM (ogTuw)


Thank you for the kind words.  I do remember that Thanksgiving, and even though you were in France and could not be home, it was the next best thing to your being home. I know it was not easy being away for a year and especially on holidays, but those phone calls made that Thanksgiving very special to me.  Love you so much. 

Posted by: Sarah at November 25, 2009 06:50 PM (0DENp)

3 Parenting is not easy, but the love is.  And it endures forever. You already love your little daughter, you have hopes and dreams for her. There is no love like mothers and fathers for their children.  I am so glad thankful you are so close to the enjoyment part of your baby. 
We had some thankful news today, my daughter in law had all sorts of scans Monday and the news is good. She is still cancer free.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and all your readers, yes, you lurkers, too!

Posted by: Ruth H at November 25, 2009 08:06 PM (JFseb)

4 cold feet are temporary! 

if you did not question it I would think you were not human

As for the turkey neck and giblets, I cook with butter, onion, mushrooms, and celery, water, sage, and I use it for stuffing.  After the neck simmers in there all day, I clean the turkey neck meat off, and put it in the stuffing, same with innards..

Posted by: awtm at November 25, 2009 08:40 PM (1Wrb8)

5 It is very good of you to be wondering about your abilities, etc. as this is a major adventure on which you are about to embark.  That you realize the gravity of the job now speaks volumes.  Better to know now and plan accordingly then to not take it seriously and wind up in a mess later. 

You are going to be a fine Mom and if in doubt, you have already know you can call yours day or night to ask for advice.  Trust me.  She'd MUCH rather talk about her grandbaby than turkey neck!  LOL

I can't wait to meet your baby girl so I can tell her how lucky she is. 

Posted by: Guard Wife at November 25, 2009 09:06 PM (I6LTM)

6 Mama's will gladly wake up in the middle of the night to help our children. You learn how to be a parent from your parents. Sounds like you have had excellent teachers.

Posted by: Pamela at November 26, 2009 11:34 AM (KqPQU)

7 Happy Thanksgiving!
And I may have said this before, but you have very wise readers... You will be a wonderful mother - you already are.

Posted by: jck at November 26, 2009 07:11 PM (MUmm4)

8 Ah! That's so sweet! And btw Happy Late Thanksgiving from a friend who also despises Turkey necks!! ... 

Posted by: Darla at November 28, 2009 07:25 PM (XvIN7)

9 btw and as much as I have quite the love/hate relationship with the phrase 'You will be great parent!' about as much as the 'Your husband will be home SOON'and 'I know what you feel!' [when they haven't done the infertility struggle] and my all time favorite 'this year you will get pregnant I KNOW it' [killer ESP abilities .... I just want you to know how excited I am about this whole thing for you! And I am so excited about your baby and this whole new adventure you will be embarking on and undoubtedly do so well! [we will all fail ... but we can all shine as well!] You are fantastic!

Posted by: Darla at November 28, 2009 07:42 PM (XvIN7)

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