My husband's response to my post from earlier today: "People are going to be disappointed if they ever meet me." Heh.

Posted by: Sarah at 11:47 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I participated in my very first National Ammo Day today! I headed to the range bright and early...and then realized that ranges don't open bright and early. But I was ready to go as soon as they opened. I bought my 100 rounds and then shot half of them. I am improving -- only a few stray shots, the majority of them clustered around the bullseye -- and I am a lot more relaxed about the whole process.

I talked to my mother today, and we decided to organize a family shooting day the next time I go home. Neither of my brothers has ever been shooting, and it's been decades since my parents have been. I think it will be a fun family outing.

And my mom just laughs that her daughter is now a gun nut.

Posted by: Sarah at 09:21 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 "Neither of my brothers has ever been shooting" Oh that's just wrong.

Posted by: tim at November 19, 2008 09:31 AM (nno0f)

2 Perhaps I shall have to take my youngest brother (the one who's studying sociology) to the range over Xmas. As far as I know, he's never been. Dad came with us once, my other bro has been with his friends, and my mom wouldn't want to, I'm pretty sure. We already bought a whole bunch of ammo at the gun show a couple weeks ago, so we probably won't be running out to buy any today after work. But it's a good thought!

Posted by: Leofwende at November 19, 2008 09:43 AM (jAos7)

3 I headed to the range bright and early...and then realized that ranges don't open bright and early. Awww. We can't all be like you! But we should try ...

Posted by: Amritas at November 19, 2008 10:20 AM (+nV09)

4 Neither of my brothers has ever been shooting, and it's been decades since my parents have been. This made me wonder: how many gun owners here come from families with traditions of owning guns and how many are pioneers (the first gun owners in their families)? Sarah's situation sounds like a blend of the two: she may be reviving a tradition that's been dormant for "decades."

Posted by: Amritas at November 19, 2008 03:37 PM (a1nQd)

5 My husband wants to know where he can do that in Illinois.

Posted by: Nicole at November 20, 2008 04:52 AM (xPxyx)

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Over the weekend, I told my fertility journey story at SpouseBUZZ Live. After the event, a handful of wives came to me and thanked me for sharing. They too have had difficult journeys and appreciated my candor. My friend from my real life was shocked; she had no idea that any of this had happened to me in the past six months. And typically, that's why I like sharing, because it's a private thing but people want to know that there's someone out there who groks. We've even had an audience memeber share her journey at a SBL who said she never even told her parents about her miscarriages. But she shared with me.

I wish it were always that simple and touching.

Instead, I also met two ladies who openly scoffed at my woes. They heard my entire story -- dead babies, failed fertility treatment -- and looked at me derisively and said that I just haven't been patient enough. Apparently I am just being silly in thinking that two years is a long time to try and that 31 is getting a late start. Nevermind the fact that they weren't that much older than me and their kids are teenagers. Wait, did I say "kids"? I meant their "whoopsies" pregnancies. Oh good golly, am I pregnant, how did that happen? Whoopsie! They got done telling me about their whoopsies and said that I am just impatient.

And I sat there and took it and then excused myself and left. Because I am polite.

I wish it were possible to type their tone of voice. I'm glad I had a witness to this conversation who assured me later that I wasn't overreacting.

People never cease to amaze me.

But I am trying very hard to be content with the people who were grateful I told my story, instead of dwelling on the naysayers. Guard Wife offered to throw hands for me, but I told her that it's really my problem and that I need to take a deep breath and not let it ruin my night. I kept reminding myself of this:

The first line of the most popular book in Buddhism, The Dhammapata, goes something like this: All that we are is determined by our thoughts. It begins where our thoughts begin, it moves where our thoughts move, it ends where our thoughts end. If we think thoughts like he hurt me, he stole from me, he is my enemy, our life and our destiny will follow that thought as the wheel follows the axle. And if we think thoughts like he cannot hurt me, only I can hurt myself, he cannot steal from me, he cannot be my enemy, only I can be my enemy, then our life and our destiny will follow those thoughts.

There will always be naysayers and boorish people. The only thing I can control is how I let it affect me.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:20 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 You know my offers are w/out expiration date so even when we're old and in rocking chairs & you need someone's larynx punched, just lean over and tell me & I'm on it. After this weekend, though, I know that I have so many 'alternative' methods of destruction...elbows, knees, feet...Ha-Ha!!

Posted by: Guard Wife at November 18, 2008 03:55 AM (eb8pN)

2 In my experience, it's always those who have it "easy" who judge those of us who have to work at being parents. Sad to say, but we spent much of our lives avoiding the "whoopsies." When I turned 30 and wanted a baby vs. telling my 15 yr. old to not have one. Selfish me. I'm proud of your grace. I would have probably handled it the same way because, for some asinine reason, I tend to not try and offend people I'm talking to, especially about sensitive issues. Bitches.

Posted by: Susan at November 18, 2008 06:10 AM (4aKG6)

3 I can't believe someone (two people!) actually said something so rude. Ugh. Some people deserve to be slapped. They don't know how lucky they are, both with their "whoopsies", and also that people like you (and me too) are too polite to give them the verbal backlash that they deserve for being so inconsiderate. Ugh.

Posted by: Leofwende at November 18, 2008 07:23 AM (jAos7)

4 It's often said that people who are insulting online would never say such horrible things in person. Even if that were generally true, sadly there is no shortage of people who can be cruel in real life. Who did these vicious women think they were? I would have lost it if I were you. People never cease to amaze me. They amaze us in good ways as well. I admire your ability to keep your cool when confronted with idiocy. And I am moved, both by the positive reaction from your audience and by the very real loyalty of your "imaginary" friends. I just found an online translation of the Dhammapada. Here's a word-for-word analysis of the passage you referred to. I was relieved to see that the original starts with Manopubbaṅgammā dhammā (mind-before-going [is] mental-phenomena) because I don't think that "All that we are is determined by our thoughts." "All that we think is determined by our thoughts" (my loose translation) is still too tautological for my taste, but closer to the truth. I used to believe in mind over matter (i.e., that one can be whatever one wants to be), but over the years I've come to recognize the importance of nature and nurture. Nonetheless, it is true that we determine what is in our minds, even if we can't determine "[a]ll that we are". We may not be able to control external stimuli, but we can choose to ignore some things and fixate on others to our detriment. Hence we often make ourselves suffer, and in such cases, only we can set ourselves free.

Posted by: Amritas at November 18, 2008 08:04 AM (+nV09)

5 I totally would've wanted to take Guard Wife up on her offer and then, while the "ladies" were gasping and recovering on the floor, advised them to "just be patient - you'll be able to breathe soon enough." But in reality, yeah, I would've done the same, non-confrontational thing... they're just so obviously not at that point where they have developed empathy yet. I'm glad that you know you were able to help others, though! :-) Sharing really does strengthen us all...

Posted by: kannie at November 18, 2008 08:13 AM (iT8dn)

6 I would pay to watch a martial arts movie in which Guard Wife lives up to her name. Imagine GW giving those two a paralyzing touch. "just be patient - you'll be able to breathe soon enough." Great line, kannie. they're just so obviously not at that point where they have developed empathy yet. The sad thing is ... they may never develop empathy. But Sarah won't let that get her down. She won't let the likes of them mess up her mind.

Posted by: Amritas at November 18, 2008 08:56 AM (+nV09)

7 That's just . . . mean! Argh. You did not overreact. People who feel they must tell you how to live your life are people who really ought to look at their own. Some of us have to WORK at fertility. Thankfully, we did not have the trouble you guys have had, but we had miscarriages and setbacks, too, and Ian is our little blessing from God. I'm glad you shared your story. Even though a couple people felt the need to judge your actions, more people were comforted by your positive attitude, optimism, and ability to relate. You are in my prayers!

Posted by: Deltasierra at November 18, 2008 09:03 AM (1TJiE)

8 You took the high ground on that one. Very classy, but, those of us who have come to know you a little through your blog would expect nothing else. You are a classy lady and gentle. Having said that, guard wife, there were two of 'em. I got your back girl, let me know when and where.

Posted by: Pamela at November 18, 2008 09:29 AM (T27wJ)

9 if i may be so bold as to add yet another of my brilliant words of wisdom (haha), when i told my boss that i had just returned to work from the doctor's office and that i learned that i had lost one of my twins, her response was, "oh, you must be so relieved!". I'll never forget it. someday i can share jim ross's theory of stupidity (or stupid people say the stupidest things), but suffice it to say, you are right: you can't control what other people do, only how you react. must be those good midwestern values that your wonderful mama and dad taught you

Posted by: kate at November 18, 2008 02:52 PM (576n8)

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AWTM was impatient for me to upload photos from this weekend. But I had to go to work today and to get ready to start decorating for Valentine's Day. Yeah, I know. I got all the Valentine's decorations and signs in, and they go up the day after Christmas. I died a little inside.

Anyway, here was the view out my hotel window.

And here's AWTM, who is mixing it up, and Guard Wife.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:21 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 Man, I wish I could have been your roommate again! And AWTM is looking like a total June Cleaver, in a slightly um, not so innocent way!

Posted by: Calivalleygirl at November 18, 2008 03:50 AM (irIko)

2 You gals were great. Anytime any of you want to come back out this way, I'm there.

Posted by: Leofwende at November 18, 2008 12:46 PM (jAos7)

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Tonight I laughed so hard I think I won't have a voice tomorrow.
I love being here.

Posted by: Sarah at 10:50 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 I had a blast meeting all of you yesterday. It was great to put faces to names to blogs, etc., and all of you were just as cool as I had hoped. Yay for new friends.

Posted by: Leofwende at November 16, 2008 08:56 AM (cZoqf)

2 I think all that laughing was WAY better than doing crunches. I saw the "new haircut" video...OMG. I re-watched the D*uche Off. :0) So crazy...I do love being in the zone. Can't wait to see you again!!

Posted by: Guard Wife at November 16, 2008 05:50 PM (eb8pN)

3 I'm so happy I got to meet you!!!

Posted by: Deltasierra at November 17, 2008 09:08 PM (VRwBR)

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I published my previous post and pulled up my blog. Today's date hit me in the gut.

I hate this time of year.

Veterans' Day starts a series of horribly reflective days. And the agonizing part is that I never met any of the men that our post lost in Fallujah. I know what these days in November do to my heart; I can't fathom what they do to the families.

And the 13th is the worst day of all.

All I can say, four years hence, is that I will never forget.
And I will never stop telling Heidi that I haven't forgotten.

Posted by: Sarah at 07:09 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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My husband has been deployed for six months today.

In many ways, it has gone quickly. It has been easy. But I also want him to come home Right Now so we can enjoy our time together before he leaves again.

Six months ago, I was pregnant. It seems like an eternity ago. It seems like a dream instead of something that really happened. A year ago, I was at the BlogWorldExpo in Vegas. I was also pregnant then. That doesn't seem possible either.

We have a little over a month until my husband comes home. I have already watched all the Rambos and all the Die Hards. I'm gonna try to squeeze in all the Terminators before he gets home and makes me start watching movies for people with a brain.

And when he gets home, I finally get to read Liberal Fascism.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:44 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Last night I went to a Halloween party at my friend's house. One of her neighbors asked to see my weapon and asked if it was real and what kind it was. I told her I had borrowed it from a friend. I asked her if she shoots, and she said she used to be a cop.

As the night went on, another neighbor said that she thought my Halloween costume was really clever, especially since Sarah is my name too. She liked my hockey jersey with PALIN on the back.

And the first neighbor, she got this a-ha look on her face and said, "Ohhhh, you're in a costume. You seemed like such a nice girl; I couldn't figure out why you brought that gun to the party."

This lady thought that I just bring assault rifles to neighborhood get-togethers. I nearly peed my pants. She thought the glasses were real and she didn't catch on to the hockey mom concept, and she just thought that I was some nutball who carries an AR-15 to parties.

Good golly, it takes all kinds, don't it?

Posted by: Sarah at 07:13 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 Some folks just don't get it and never will....I thought it was a cute costume. OTOH, my 11 yo wants me to get her a Sarah Palin pin or shirt to wear to school. I told her I couldn't find one. I don't want her to have to contend with obnoxious Obama supporters at such a young age and there a several in her school...sigh, I'll be glad when it's over.

Posted by: Pamela at November 01, 2008 07:53 AM (ZMhWA)

2 She liked my hockey jersey with PALIN on the back. The ability to make your own clothes sure comes in handy! She thought the glasses were real For a moment, I thought they were real, until I realized that wearing your old glasses might impair your improved vision. How are your eyes doing?

Posted by: Amritas at November 01, 2008 10:00 AM (+/Ct7)

3 It HAS to make you wonder if she's been to other neighborhood functions where it was normal to BYO-AR.

Posted by: Sis B at November 01, 2008 11:56 AM (U76K6)

4 I have been trying to comment ALL WEEKEND but it won't let me. First, Brian said to tell you he loves you even more after seeing your costume. Second, I think the neighbor at the party is a bit slow on the uptake, but then again, would YOU question a woman holding such hot heat??

Posted by: Guard Wife at November 01, 2008 06:24 PM (eb8pN)

5 you mean you do not carry around an AR 15 on a regular basis? Because ya always have one around when I am with your bad ass self

Posted by: awtm at November 01, 2008 08:05 PM (0ugVz)

6 Sweetie, keep the finger off the trigger. I am in the process of building my M4A4 right now, have everything but the stripped lower receiver... once that's in hand (sometime this week) It'll be range time--and I got a groovy EOtech sight for that, too. Still, it's much sexier when you hold it.

Posted by: Chuck at November 02, 2008 07:08 AM (q4psF)

7 Fun costume! Too bad the neighbor was clueless ;-) Then again, if I had one, I would be tempted to walk around the neighborhood with it.

Posted by: Barb at November 02, 2008 07:53 AM (T4MbB)

8 As a "hockey mom".. I love the costume! The AR-15 just makes it that much better!

Posted by: Household6 at November 02, 2008 03:31 PM (tpseV)

9 Your lack of common sense is astounding! You think an appropriate use of a weapon is as part of a costume? People like you give gun owners a bad name and should not be allowed to own firearms.

Posted by: FredO at November 03, 2008 09:32 AM (1C65h)

10 I'm not sure that carrying an AR-15 around as a standard accessory is such a bad idea. Seems perfectly reasonable to me. Might come in right handy -- tomorrow or the day after.

Posted by: JT at November 03, 2008 06:30 PM (sVcMp)

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