. Of course I want to wife my husband; that's why I'm upset. He's doing all the husbanding! I am the one working all day and he has to take care of the house and cheer me up when I get home. That's not what I wanted at all! I wanted to take care of him...
We're doing OK. We've been talking a lot about how we felt during the deployment, all the stuff that went unsaid when we only had the instant messenger to convey our thoughts. Puzzle pieces are falling into place, and we're working through the usch.
I want to thank you for sharing your reintegration experience with us. While some may breeze through the reintegration process, for others it will take some time. It's nice to know that us wives all have a common bond and can be open by discussing it with one another.
I hope that the two of you will be able to take a well deserved vacation very soon.
Posted by: Dawn at March 24, 2005 09:20 AM (20ghM)
Men suck sometimes, because they think we should be mind readers...women aren't the only ones! When they finally tell us their reasons for certain actions that upset us, our reply is invariably, "well, if you had told me that then, it would have been okay." But they don't often express their feelings and reasoning, so we are left out in the dark imagining all kinds of reasoning...
We on the other hand, are experts at expressing how we feel.
*Sigh*...I really wonder why men and women were created for each other. I just get a lot of hope when I realize that it has worked for thousands of years.
Anyways, thank you so much for sharing your experiences, I am thankful for everyday I don't have to hear his alarm clock...lol...;-)
Posted by: calivalleygirl at March 24, 2005 10:02 AM (eI8vQ)
I have always wondered why there is no field of animal wifery.
Posted by: Walter E. Wallis at March 24, 2005 12:06 PM (MBCZx)
Without dissing my husband of almost 48 years, let me chuckle quietly, grin and say, enjoy it girl, enjoy it. I know how thankful you are he is home, I wish you didn't have those @#$XX!! 7th graders to ruin your days for you. Mixed emotions are just another fact of life. Don't try to analyze too much, relax and enjoy the thrill and the day to day in the same way. Blessings to you both this Easter time.
Posted by: Ruth H at March 24, 2005 09:39 PM (OUEIA)
One of the things about being a good leader of men is that you must constantly worry about their performance, their well being and their lives. After only a short time this can wear on you, because it never ends. Even if you are the big boss and have some of the troops assigned to take care of the mundane chores just for you, it is just as draining.
When I would return from deployment, (and there were several of these in a Navy career), of 4 to 7 months without spouse and kids, I would frequently want to take a break from worrying about the guys or the ship, making hard decisions about who to inconvenience, by just washing the dishes or vacuuming the house. This might interfere with your wiving wishes. But the dishes are clean, the floor is swept, and he is unwinding from a stressful time in your lives.
Perhaps he is doing this because he would rather do things to take care of you instead of everyone else, since you, too, have been deployed for over a year. Remember, that in his eyes, you may not have completed your trial by fire, since you are corralling adolescents and going to work everyday as you have for the last year. And make no mistake, it is every bit as stressful as a normal deployment (not in wartime) would be for us.
Sometimes, us guys just do this because we love you. Ask him. If he is smart, he will claim this as a victory for chivalry. And if he doesn't say he is doing it because he loves you, then he hasn't been married to you long enough. He should store up these good things for when he needs them after he screws up down the line. (Just kidding, but if he reads the comments --- don't screw up a good thing, boy)
If I were he, you would come home to a hot meal, clean house, and a vigorous foot massage at the end of your day. Just storing up the good things for later on when I know my maleness would cause problems for you down the line. But then I've been married to the same woman for 24 years. And I'm still learning.
Enjoy the break, gal. You deserve the pampering too.
Posted by: Subsunk at March 25, 2005 08:21 AM (adHXR)
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