February 22, 2010

NOT QUITE MENTALLY PREPARED

The good news is the bed rest worked.  The bad news is the bed rest worked.
I am stuck at the same dilation and effacement that I was at two weeks ago.

And really, other than the fact that life is exponentially more painful now than it was then, I guess I am OK with that.

Last night I had a bit of a freakout.  I somehow feel like I am still not ready.  I don't feel anxious to get the baby out (other than because of the pains) because I am still scared to death of having to take care of her.  I feel like everything I've read about labor and newborn care is not enough and I still feel overwhelmed and unprepared.  I am feeling the weight of the awesome responsibility that is motherhood, and I am OK with postponing it for another week or so. 

Plus we still need to paint her bookshelf.  And a million other things.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:10 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
Post contains 165 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Sounds to me like you are right where every first time mother is before the birth, feeling overwhelmed.  You are going to have complete responsibility for a new person. It is an awesome responsibility and if anyone is prepared it, you are. Its not the books you read, it what is in your heart.

Posted by: Ruth H at February 22, 2010 02:22 PM (JCV5R)

2 I remember reading up mere hours before checking into the hospital like I was cramming for a test. You're never "ready," just willing. Like Ruth H writes, "what is in your heart" matters more than what you know.

Posted by: Lee Anne at February 22, 2010 03:01 PM (FXhFB)

3 If you can feel the weight of motherhood mentally as well as physically, your heart has what it takes.

Posted by: Amritas at February 22, 2010 03:19 PM (+nV09)

4 I'm just so happy for you that all is in place and ready to go.  So looking forward to reading that She has arrived.  Welcome your hubby home from those of us that have been following this journey that the three of you have been on.

Posted by: Laura, A Military Mom at February 22, 2010 03:24 PM (oLHZ3)

5

I was so happy to hear that he made it home in time!  I know less than zero about how deployment works, but I was wondering when he has to go back, if he does.

You never feel ready, but the most important thing is that when she comes all she'll really want is you, a clean onesie and a dry diaper.  So, if you have those things covered, the rest is gravy.

I remember with my first feeling that first day home from the hospital that he was a stranger to me, this new little person I was getting to know for the first time.  Once I realized that it was a relationship (meaning, two-way) and that we both needed to get to know the other, (what he liked and didn't; for him to know he could depend on me) it seemed much easier.

Good luck!  And although it will likely be the last thing you'll be worrying about, do you think you could leave the keys to your blog to a friend who could give us an update when the time does come?

Thanks!

Posted by: Christa at February 22, 2010 04:04 PM (2qSbp)

6 Christa -- The absolute soonest he'd deploy again is November.  And that's not so likely.  Hopefully we'll have him home for a while.

And AirForceWife is already prepped to spread the word on my blog once I'm in the hospital!

Posted by: Sarah at February 22, 2010 05:31 PM (gWUle)

7 Just wait until you carry her out of the hospital! I remember feeling like it was all surreal and couldn't believe they actually trusted me to take my baby home. By myself. To care of all alone. Hee-hee!

You're never really "ready", IMO. It's so much awesomer (yes, I said awesomer), profound, and breath-taking than you can possibly understand or expect ahead of time.

I'm smiling thinking about the joy that lays ahead of you and your husband. I'm so happy for you. :-)

Posted by: Heather at February 22, 2010 06:39 PM (9k/pz)

8 If you are feeling like you aren't ready to be a mom, you're a little late in the planning cycle.

Just follow the instruction booklet they give you when you leave the hospital and everything will be fine.

If you weren't worried, I'd be worried.  It's natural.  You are just as equipped as every other woman to be a mother,  but your are phenomenally more qualified for motherhood and parenting than most of the folks dragging their brood around between peopleofwalmart photo shoots.

Really, what's the worst that can happen?  This is a mutant baby.  It will survive anything.  She already overcame your (apparently) tremendously recessive genes; genes that are so recessive and hate reproducing so much that I'm in awe that you actually heal from minor scrapes!  She will be fine, if not exposed to green kryptonite, and you manage to lay off the crack pipe and not huff paint while breast feeding.

As fare as raising her goes, given her parents--she'll be winning the hearts and minds of the other kids in preschool and building them a new, better and state of the art playground as soon as they inform on who ate all the paste, then blogging about how much she misses charlie when she is away at school and he's at home.  I can see it now--Twying to gwok.

Or maybe you'll be on a "Very Special Episode" of Springer with me and my family.  Either way, you do the best you can with what you've got and hope for the best.

Posted by: Chuck at February 22, 2010 07:31 PM (bMH2g)

9 sarah, like the others have said, I think it's natural to feel nervous, anxious, excited. PLUS, you've had quite a ride over the last few years getting to this point PLUS your husband has been deployed for the better part of the year... I'd say that qualifies to feeling a little unsure of all of this. I think you just do what feels 'right'. Consult the books, doctors, friends and parents when you need to (and everyone will have a different opinion), but at the end of the day, just give her alot of hugs, and make sure she's fed. She will thrive and so will you.

Posted by: Keri at February 22, 2010 10:10 PM (dtvJC)

10 You are going to do great!  You can do all the reading in the world, but then your instincts just kick in and you figure things out!  You and your man will do a great job and she will know she is soooo loved!

Posted by: Stacy at February 23, 2010 12:02 AM (oubiR)

11 Think of this; throughout most of history women haven't had books or doctors to help them. It would never occur to husbands that they should help with the baby or to wives to expect help. Women relied on their Moms, other female relatives and friends for answers to parenting questions and even though a lot of those answers were just old wives tales, most of the new Mamas and babies managed just fine.

Then think of  the resources you have at your finger tips, any question you have can be answered either by doctors or books or bing. But, my guess is that most of your questions will be answered by your Mom, your female relatives and your friends. Because, they've already been there, done that, and have the drool on their best clothes to prove it. Plus, you have a husband who is ready, willing and able to help with the baby any time (as soon as you show him which end to burp and which end to diaper). You are both intensely focused on doing everything possible to make your new baby know she is welcome and loved. Mama, daddy and baby are gonna be just fine!!

Posted by: Pamela at February 23, 2010 02:03 AM (f+d6l)

12 P. S.    My granddaughter is 15 months old, when she was 12 months she weaned herself. My mother said when a baby weans herself like that she's getting out of the way for the next one. My daughter is 9 weeks pregnant with their second. It was not planned. Could be something to those old wives tales!!

Posted by: Pamela at February 23, 2010 02:11 AM (f+d6l)

13 You will figure it out, and then she'll change the rules.  You'll figure out the new game, and she'll change it again.  But you're a smart woman.  You will always figure it out, or know the right person to ask.  

Posted by: Ann M. at February 27, 2010 12:17 AM (+GQ3g)

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