December 02, 2011

ETERNAL HOPE

Last night I dreamt there was a cell phone app pregnancy test; you pressed the phone screen to your forehead and it registered whether you were pregnant.  I got the big plus sign and woke up with a rush.


Except today was the day I was taking a real pregnancy test.  I was mad that it was going to be a huge letdown after the dream test...

But we did it again.

We're getting good at getting pregnant.  I just hope we can stay that way.

Now I need to buckle down and pick a doctor this weekend, which feels really random.  Just pulling a name out of a hat and hoping for the best.  I guess that's kinda the way the old Army system worked for me, but back then I had no choice.  This time I might kick myself if I make the wrong choice.

But here we are.  Does seven feel lucky?

It's also amazing to me that even on the seventh time, even after so much bad luck, hope springs eternal.  As soon as I took the test, my heart was off and running: calculating the due date, imagining BabyGrok holding her sibling...

It's amazing how resilient and hopeful the heart is.

Posted by: Sarah at 12:36 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1

Just like our bodies forget the pain of childbirth, our hearts forget (or at least the memory is hazy) the pain of loss.  Thank goodness for it.  Good luck and prayers for number seven!

Posted by: Christa at December 02, 2011 04:54 PM (JnJR0)

2 Blessings to you.

Posted by: Connie at December 02, 2011 05:07 PM (L6nIP)

3 Thoughts and prayers are with you and Russ for a heads up penny. I am hopeful things go your way this time. And I am in awe of your strength.

Posted by: Mare at December 03, 2011 12:26 AM (pme3X)

4 We are here because our ancestors had resilience and hope to endure a dark past. May SiblingGrok be here to enjoy a bright future.

Posted by: Amritas at December 04, 2011 12:44 AM (sCjiJ)

5 Isn't that the truth though? After nearly 11 years and all the drugs and tests and the doctor telling me that I don't ovulate without drugs or even with them regularly enough to have a snow balls chance in hell - I still think 'Maybe this time we can get lucky.' A little part of me ha already calculated that my o-window is right after he returns from deployment. Maybe if I missed him enough and we were lucky like so many other people .... Oh sister, you know exactly what I mean.

Posted by: Darla at December 04, 2011 02:07 AM (s4dCG)

6 Praying.  

Posted by: Val at December 08, 2011 08:17 PM (glAPF)

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