Posted by: Lissa at October 30, 2009 03:20 PM (eSfKC)
Now...when the doctors say "high risk pregnancy" do they mean for you or for them? Because if they try to keep your husband from coming home to see the birth, I'm sure turning this into a high risk venture for the physicians could be arranged...just sayin'.
She is GORGEOUS! And, you'll be surprised when she arrives how you can 'see' her in these early images.
Posted by: Guard Wife at October 30, 2009 04:08 PM (p4/8e)
Is there any way around that? Could the doctor's maybe have a heart and feign vagueness maybe? Like, "well technically she's fine but because of her history it would be a good idea to have support". Is that bad of me? That would seriously stink for him to miss everything. My heart gos out to you guys and I hope he gets to make it home.
Posted by: Sara at October 30, 2009 06:53 PM (mjMky)
I'm with Sara, history counts even though I think she and you are perfectly fine, we want Daddy to be there. I bet you even know whose ear that baby has, I love it. I'm grinning ear to ear even though I'm using the laptop cause I'm putting Windows 7 on my desktop.
Posted by: Ruth H at October 30, 2009 07:36 PM (weEHE)
I think she's got your profile. I've never stopped rooting for Baby Grok and I'm hanging in there with high hopes Daddy'll make it home.
Well wishes your way...
Posted by: Susan at October 30, 2009 09:09 PM (EU2Wl)
Fingers? Toes? Finally qualified as a REGULAR PREGNANT PERSON? You have come a loooong way my friend! That is so terribly exciting! ::hugs:: and of course ... with the husband delay ... the military is notoriously backwards in so many things. As much as we support them you'd think a 72 hr pass for birth of first born would be just as important and grievance leave for death in family. Aye! Just goes to remind everyone that NO employer is perfect ... no, not one.
Posted by: Darla at October 31, 2009 12:07 AM (LP4DK)
Fantastic pictures! I'm so happy for you on being just regular pregnant
Posted by: dutchgirl at October 31, 2009 10:11 PM (Yg8bq)
Beautiful...amazing...so glad to see you have graduated to that point. Wow. I hope that he can come home...I'm praying that he can come home!
Posted by: Stacy at November 01, 2009 01:59 AM (JKqIL)
Aside from just thinking it's unfair that your hubby doesn't get to come home, here is some advice. I don't want to be one of those older ladies telling you what you should do, BUT - the web cam is what my son & his wife did for their first childs birth, you should look into it. It was well worth it for them. They checked with both the Doctor and his commanding officer, both of who gave them their full support. However the baby was a little early. My son was sitting in an airport in VA on his way to Afghanistan, we were with his wife. It was a wonderful precious thing for me to be able to hold up a laptop so my son got to see his new son get cleaned up. And the nurse was wonderful. She showed off all his little fingers and toes, turned him around and about so daddy could see how perfect he was. Daddy got to talk to his little boy, and his wife, it was touching and sweet, and since we knew he couldn't be there, everything we hoped for via webcam. For a man on his way to war, and his family, it was a great gift.
Posted by: tibby at November 01, 2009 01:22 PM (v/QW/)
Wow, those pictures are amazing!
I am doing a *facepalm* on your change in status, and how that impacts your husband's homecoming. My thoughts are in line with others -- I would at least try to skew this one in your favor, considering how much you've gone through.
However it turns out, congrats on your new status as a regular pregnant lady! :-D
Posted by: loquita at November 01, 2009 01:24 PM (QcPAU)
Tibby -- I will have to see what I can do. Unfortunately, my husband doesn't have access to webcams or VTCs at all this time, so...hmm. I could at least make videos that he could see later on. Crap, now I need to find a videographer for the birth too?! Ha.
Posted by: Sarah at November 01, 2009 01:26 PM (gWUle)
Those are stunning pictures! She is beautiful. Congratulations!
Posted by: Tressa at November 01, 2009 05:03 PM (yY6P+)
I was SOOOO happy to hear about your pregnancy and see the beautiful pictures! (Yeah, I've been living on a planet far, far away for quite a while) Having survived problem pregnancies in the military myself, I know what a struggle it is to be together at the birth. I'm sending lots of prayers and good wishes your way. (BTW, my suggestion would be to talk to your OB about the possibility of him helping you to get your husband home. One of mine during the first gulf war was wonderful and very helpful. The second, not so much but we lucked out anyway.)
Posted by: Lemon Stand at November 03, 2009 07:34 PM (piCQj)
What fabulous photos and such great news! Here's hoping your hubby still makes it home. Blessing to all of you.
Posted by: MoDLin at November 06, 2009 02:46 PM (KUPWn)
WHY I WATCH GLENN BECK
It's patently obvious why Democrats and people on the left don't like Glenn Beck. But I know plenty of people on the right who don't like him either. Usually they point out that he's a crybaby.
I'd like to point out why I do like Glenn Beck, and why his show, along with the Special Report All-Star Panel, is the only political/news programming I watch on TV. And why I watch it every day.
Because Glenn Beck comes at us Ross Perot style, with charts and graphs and numbers. He lays out theories about what he thinks the future of our country will look like, and he always says they're just theories and he hopes he's wrong. He doesn't just do opinion schtick, though there's plenty of that. He doesn't just interview guests and argue about the day's news, which is what every other news/opinion program on TV does. And he doesn't just cry, though there are times when his love for his country and his anguish over what it's becoming do overwhelm him.
He also takes complicated economic problems and explains them to average Americans. (This clip is crucial to watch if you want to see the difference between The Glenn Beck Program and every other news show out there.)
The Glenn Beck model includes a chalkboard, for heaven's sake. He spent twenty-one minutes lecturing on inflation. And gets mega-ratings for it. I think Americans are starving for this kind of programming.
Beck is the only TV personality I know of who consistently examines the long-term problems the US faces and points out that the "fixes" we're implementing now might end up doing us more harm than good. Sadly, he also has a pretty good track record of being right.
Is anyone else pointing out long-term problems to average Americans? Or are they too busy talking about balloon boy and hyping swine flu...
I have only seen clips of his show on YouTube via your links. I think I've only actually seen him on TV once or twice being interviewed during another show. So I never understood his appeal until now.
I don't watch political TV shows, so I didn't realize how unique his use of a chalkboard is. His ability to use one tells me that he isn't just reading off a teleprompter or mouthing off opinions. What he writes on a chalkboard has to be somewhat coherent, because the audience can literally see errors, and he'd look like a fool if he constantly erased to cover them up.
Posted by: Amritas at October 29, 2009 01:13 PM (+nV09)
Yeah, you're right, Sarah. I guess I shouldn't be so hard on him for being so melodramatic. It's true that he breaks it down nicely.
I don't understand all of the Glenn Beck hatred. He was on Headline News for years and his radio show, yet nobody thought to complain or slander him then. Now that he's on Fox (aka liberal's own Big Satan) people are up in arms and too quick to label him crazy (which he is the furthest thing from). I'm just waiting for the same treatment of fellow libertarian John Stossel who is going to Fox. Good journalists and columnists like Beck and Stossel are degraded for no reason except jealousy because they do their jobs; while village idiots of the media like Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric (shudders) are given awards. Shameful.
Posted by: BigD78 at October 29, 2009 03:11 PM (W3XUk)
I love Fox's all star panel. I actually time my trips to the gym to be on the treadclimber during that segment. It is riveting TV. There is NO ONE like Krauthammer. I have a secret crush on him. I actually thought about sending him a fan/thank-you letter but couldn't figure out a way to do so that wouldn't be totally weird and creepy. But he is so amazing. I used to listen to Glenn Beck in the car but I work from home now so he lost me when I stopped commuting.
Posted by: Amy at October 29, 2009 03:54 PM (9fDOS)
Amy -- I am right there with you. I always say to Guard Wife, "Are there any better words on the planet than 'Let's bring in our panel: Who Cares #1, Who Cares #2, and syndicated columnist Charles Krauthammer.'"
Posted by: Sarah at October 29, 2009 04:39 PM (gWUle)
That last comment made me burst out laughing. (And my Philadelphia Phillies just lost, so that is saying something.) I will probably remember that next time and start laughing on the treadmill! Thanks.
ps. I am thrilled to watch you progress so beautifully through your pregnancy one step at a time.
Posted by: Amy at October 29, 2009 10:46 PM (9fDOS)
It's not like the 70's where the Fed printed money to finance government spending. The Fed increased the money supply to keep the banks from failing, by loaning them money. It can dry up the money supply by recalling the loans, and that's what it's going to do.
My kids like him for the same reason. We watched him one day when he was talking about oil being traded in other currency besides the US dollar and why it was important. He had set up a demonstration with flags and baskets and dollar bills. He made sense to them. They understood why it was important. So, it is one news program they like. Well, that and Dr. Rosenthal.
Posted by: Tressa at November 01, 2009 05:01 PM (yY6P+)
A senior military officer said the developing strategy adopted General
McChrystalâ€™s central tenet. â€œWe are no longer thinking about just
destroying the enemy in a conventional way,â€ the officer said. â€œWe must
remove the main pressure that civilians live under, which is the
constant intimidation and corruption and direct threat from the
Am I missing something here? I thought we needed this new strategy
because only it would deny safe haven to al-Qaeda. Now, we are
evidently going to do counterinsurgency despite conceding at the outset
that it won't really work because the Taliban is "an indigenous force"
(translation: It has too much support among its fellow Afghan Muslims);
under "Biden for the country," we are going to cede the vast
countryside to the Taliban, which will then be free to give al-Qaeda
the safe-haven it was purportedly our objective to prevent (and you
know that's what we're doing because a "senior administration official"
felt it necessary to tell the Times, "We are not talking
about surrendering the rest of the country to the Taliban"); and under
McChrystal for the city, while we don't go after the Taliban because
â€œwe are no longer thinking about just destroying the enemy in a
conventional way,â€ we're going to focus on solving the real challenge
to U.S. national security . . . Afghan corruption.
It makes me sick too. This is one (of many) time(s) that I just don't know what the right thing to do is. But I do know that I expect more decisiveness from our commander in chief. This is what it's all about, and he's dithering, no matter what you call it, and no matter what he ultimately does. My stomach does a slow roil just thinking about it.
Posted by: tibby at October 29, 2009 10:14 AM (S/Fac)
I'm sure the ideas and comments set forth in this article: (http://blog.stevenpressfield.com/wp-content/themes/stevenpressfield/one_tribe_at_a_time.pdf) will never be applied, but Major Gant has what I think is probably the only possible way to success in Afganistan.
Posted by: Rosie at October 29, 2009 02:08 PM (7pPiG)
Rosie -- I downloaded that article yesterday but haven't sat down to read it yet. Will do.
Posted by: Sarah at October 29, 2009 02:42 PM (gWUle)
"MAKING SOMEONE ELSE PAY"
My husband and I have paid for car insurance for over seven years. We have never once filed a claim.
My dental insurance costs about $140 per year. I have never had any dental work done besides cleanings, twice a year at $70 each.
These two insurances work in remarkably different ways. The dental insurance covers every time I walk in the door, even just to have some nice lady floss my teeth for me. The car insurance doesn't cover anything routine and doesn't even cover some big things, like when my windshield broke last year.
And yet, I think about the dental insurance so much more often, for some reason. I am always irritated about breaking even. I keep telling myself that it will pay off once we have kids, or once I need a root canal or something. In the meantime, I get annoyed every time I break even. I start to think that I could get by with one cleaning per year and save the remaining $70. I want to feel more in control of that money, as if I am paying directly for a service instead of paying for insurance.
Maybe, with the car insurance, it's the fact that I don't have a choice to cancel it. I don't often imagine all the money we threw down that hole, but it's a lot. What if we could have it all back?
And don't even bring up all the money we've spent in life insurance...
But that's what insurance is: paying small amounts up front so that you will be eligible for the windfall payment at the end if bad luck strikes. It's a gamble. In the case of our vehicles, we have lost the gamble so far. All the money we've paid in has gone to fix other people's cars for the past seven years.
Such is life.
Health insurance seems to be a misnomer then, because it doesn't seem to work like other insurances, at least not car or life insurance. People seem to want to pay a small amount every month but get a large amount of benefit out every month too. They want to pay $100 and get $300 worth of prescriptions. That's not insurance, that's just redistribution. That's just "making someone else pay", as Patrick McIlheran titled his recent article. He explains why the proposed Obamacare system won't work:
Some companies noted last week that Congress' plans to mandate that
everyone buy health insurance include only weak penalties. The plans
also make insurers take on customers who are already sick. If you're
young and daring, you pay the low penalty and go insurance-free until
your doctor says you've got cancer. You then apply and pay $800-a-month
premiums for $10,000-a-month care. Sweet, until the industry inevitably
collapses, say insurers.
When stated so succinctly, it should be obvious that this system cannot work. You cannot pay $800 for $10,000 worth of benefit without having someone else paying $800 for zero, for a long time. That's how the gamble works in life insurance.
And while we all hate the stories of people who lose their jobs and then get cancer -- and trust me, I hate them pretty bad right now -- the solution, in my opinion, is not that insurers need to cover pre-existing conditions. The solution is to have health insurance that is independent from your job, just as your car or life insurance is. Then it doesn't matter when you get cancer; if you've paid in, you have "won" the gamble.
Mandatory insurance coverage is not, by definition, a gamble. If you can wait to apply until after you have cancer, then why would you ever pay in beforehand?
It seems obvious to me that that system can't work. So why are we trying to implement it?
What amazes me is that many people aren't seeing the whole parallel here with the government forcing banks to give loans to those who they usually wouldn't (or in other cases the government taking the risk factor away, and banks become reckless in their loan practices) as a huge contributing factor to the crashing of the housing market. If insurance companies are forced to insure those they usually wouldn't insure, that will lead to insurance companies failing and leaving those who paid dutifully over the years without coverage later when they will most need it.
I don't understand why we expect medical insurance to pay for non-emergency/non-catastrophic care.
My car insurance doesn't kick in for my oil changes - why should my insurance kick in for my doctor's office visits? It doesn't make sense for me. Insurance is for emergencies - right? Or at least, that's what I thought it was for.
The same goes for dental insurance, I think. Why is the insurance paying for "upkeep" like cleaning? Fillings, I get. Root canals, braces, etc. all make sense. But the cleanings you need to get done at a scheduled time? Like an oil change?
In fact, we had to pay for our own baby delivery because TriCare didn't consider homebirth to be an "approved method" when we cranked out the last three. And we were okay with that, because we knew what we wanted, and what it cost. Kind of like getting your car detailed. Expensive and certainly not covered by your policy, but worth it for some people.
What is being called "insurance" isn't insurance. Even without reform.
Posted by: airforcewife at October 26, 2009 10:34 AM (uE3SA)
AFW, I honestly irks me that healthcare isn't an option as an employment benefit. Like, you could opt for healthcare coverage, or you could cash out. Because if you get healthcare coverage, but you can't choose how you are going to get your healthcare, might as well not have to "pay" for that coverage as part of your employee benefits.
I'd argue that braces aren't even really that unexpected or catastrophic. They're kinda the norm these days, so that means many people are getting a benefit without paying for it.
But that's just details...
You're right: why does United Concordia pay for someone else to floss my teeth? That's not insurance, that's redistribution.
And why don't more people notice that distinction?
Posted by: Sarah at October 26, 2009 12:03 PM (gWUle)
I was going to say that it isn't insurance, it is rent.
I think that the argument used by most for visit coverage in insurance policies is two-fold: 1 - the visits are expensive and add up, and 2 - someone who can't help having a chronic condition should not have to pay for routine doctor visits.
Which is redistribution. No, it's not fair, but most of life isn't fair and we all make our choices. That includes health care.
I think I can use my dog for an example: in the last month I noticed that Ike, my sweet dog that can usually have horrible things done to him (like Charlie ripping his toenail out) and not so much as whine at a person started acting weird. He was showing teeth - not growling or snapping, but showing teeth and trying to get away from people. That was weird, so I took him to the vet. Now, we belong to the pet HMO at Banfield, so I didn't have to pay for his vet visit. I did, however, have to pay for a urinalysis and for a blood panel. Sure enough, nearly 450$ later, we found that Ike has a severe UTI (which was nearly entirely blocking his urethra, and could have killed him in short order) and he's been on Clavamox for the week, with one week left to go. And the best part is that I have my dog back now!
Here's the deal - that 450$ has to come from somewhere. I mean, it's not FAIR, right? I shouldn't have to pay for my dog's medical emergencies! Other people's dogs are healthy! I should be able to have a dog and not have to cover these kinds of expenses! Now I have to put off movies and going out to eat for the month of November while other people whose dogs are not so wimpy inside get to go to Applebees! Life's not fair! I want to go to Applebee's too! (PS: I do not spend that much money on movies and going out to eat in a month, but that is just taking into account what we had budgeted for dog care and then the additional that the treatment cost. Also, with four people hitting the theater, you can imagine how that adds up when we DO go out, even if we try to only go to 5$ Tuesday)
That's how I see a lot of the health care argument. Life is NOT fair. Some people never have to see the doctor. Some people have to forgo Disney World because they have a chronic condition that requires significant resources to treat. I'm sorry, but that's just the way life is.
Sarah - your house is WAY nicer than mine. That's just the way life is - we had different resources to allocate because we had different conditions placed on our lives at the time we bought a house. That's just the way it is. I'm not owed a better house. And you certainly shouldn't be forced into something not as nice to "be fair."
I think healthcare is the same thing, with a slight twist. There are certain things we should work hard to change - catastrophic care should be available for everyone at a reasonable cost (one that reflects societal ability to pay and also allows hospitals and doctors to continue to provide coverage because they have enough funding!), but I don't think that means government insurance. I think that means we need to rethink the way we've been doing business. If all those celebrities spending money trying to gather support for Universal Healthcare coverage instead put that into seed money for a non-profit, non-work attached catastrophic coverage that would work something like the Fireman's Mutual Life Insurance (for example), we'd have another real option and more competition and impetus for change from within that is responsive to what people actually need. And the money wouldn't be wasted as it is being now, but that's only my opinion.
//thesis off, for the moment. But I reserve the right to re-visit this after CCD, swim team, and Girl Scouts this evening.
Posted by: airforcewife at October 26, 2009 12:31 PM (uE3SA)
I had all the miscarriages and, had things worked differently, was getting ready to pay $12,000 out of my own pocket to try to have a baby. Fair? Hardly. It's because of genetic scrambling done when I was conceived, not something I could control at all. But normal people get to have a baby without $1000 in testing/prep like I had to do, and certainly without $12,000 fees.
Such is life.
Life ain't fair.
Oh, and I would also add...we've talked before and your house cost the exact same amount as my house did. But yours is in a higher-cost area. I could've only afforded what you have if I were in your area too. When you are restricted to having to live somewhere based on where your husband is assigned, you have to buy based on that. Trust me, if our next duty station pans out, you'll probably have more house than me again!
And I want to make that into an argument for being about to buy healthcare across state lines...but I'm too lazy to lay out the whole argument. So go ahead and imagine it in your own head
P.S. Glad Ike is feeling better...and glad you were observant enough to notice he was suffering. Charlie misses him.
Posted by: Sarah at October 26, 2009 01:12 PM (gWUle)
One thing about car insurance, though, is that is it primarily not to protect YOU, but to protect those you might hurt. At least in Texas, the only required coverage is liability. Anything above that - to pay for damage I cause to me or my car - it extra.
Health insurance, on the other hand, is ONLY about protecting you. If you don't have health insurance, it doesn't immediately affect anyone else (ignoring the potential that you go to the emergency room, and the taxpayer is stuck paying for it).
One of my old employers did a "self-insurance". We, the employees, were the only ones contributing to the pool that care was paid from. Guess what? Every year, we were told we "had a bad plan year", and our premiums would go up. They NEVER went down. A couple of women have babies, or someone has to have major surgery, and me, who only really ever went in for an annual and the other people who weren't ever needing real medical care, were picking up the tab. That's what insurance companies do, on a larger scale. It's just easier to see when you work at a company with only 10s of employees (no more than 200, I'd say, and not all of them would have been eligible for coverage, if they weren't full-time, regular employees). Yeah, it's great when someone has a baby, or they get a surgery that saves a life or makes life easier, but why should I have to help pay for it?
Posted by: Miss Ladybug at October 27, 2009 12:36 AM (paOhf)
Paying a flat rate for medical care might make sense. I pay a flat rate for Internet access, for example. But it's not insurance. Insurance by definition can only be for things that are unlikely to happen. The way you turn medical insurance into real insurance is to have a high deductible. Not too complicated - but exactly the opposite of what's being proposed in Congress. National insurance for catastrophic illness would be MUCH cheaper than what's now being proposed, and would answer most people's real fears.
@Airforcewife. Please please please take your dog to someplace other than Banfield. I work for Petsmart as a trainer, I NEVER recommend them and always tell people to go to an independent pet insurer. It's cheaper and they actually cover things. Banfield is corporate vet medicine. When my old roomate was waiting to hear about jobs right as she was graduating in May I said "you can always work for Banfield for a year if what you want doesn't pan out" She said she would rather go back work as a Vet tech rather than work as a Vet for them.
I pay for really good insurance out of my own pocket with a policy with a really high deductible. If I meet it then for the rest of the year everything is covered 100%. I want a choice to do that.
I think the problems lie in the fact that Dr.'s have to pay so much for malpractice insurance and the drug companies can jack up their prices while spending money of golf trips for the Docs they are trying to get to use their products.
We need insurance reform and tort reform. Not national healthcare.
Posted by: Mare at October 27, 2009 08:25 AM (HUa8I)
Miss Ladybug -- My family has some experience with that, only on the flip side. My mom is the expensive one, with many prescriptions and a chronic disease. She and one other wife have always been the one to make insurance at my dad's office expensive for everyone else. And she feels bad about it.
My point is, what the Democrats/Obama is proposing just isn't affordable. Costs for EVERYONE keep going up. Personally, I'd like to be able to get some kind of catastrophic coverage, then pay for everything else as I need it. Right now, I am uninsured because I am single and do not have full-time regular employment, and with the debt I incurred going back to school and the very unexpectedly long period of underemployment, I cannot afford to buy insurance on my own. I have had to go to the doctor since I became uninsured (again - I temporarily got student insurance when I was in school, but that has been expired for more than 2 years now), but I don't make the taxpayer pay for it by going to the ER. I go to a local walk-in clinic and pay for it myself, either out-of-pocket immediately or on credit, depending on what I was bringing in at the time. I ask for generics, letting doctor know I'm having to pay whatever the going price is. Having that direct financial impact I know makes a difference in the medical choices I make. Insurance removes that direct impact and allows people to forget what it REALLY costs, and that many times translates into making choices that cost everyone eventually because insurance companies have to cover their costs.
Posted by: Miss Ladybug at October 27, 2009 05:13 PM (paOhf)
THE BADNESS OF OBAMA JUST KEEPS GETTING WORSE
Powerline got an email from Kristofer Harrison, who helped with the Bush administration's Afghanistan review. He says Cheney was right and that they did loads of work that they passed on, no strings attached, to Obama.
The Chicago mob's behavior is unbelievably unseemly. Here they were
given an immense amount of material, a complete strategic review and
plan with the author's heading left blank. President Bush felt it was
his duty to do so. And all Obama can do is smear president Bush, even
after he filled his own name into the author's column.
And that is historically way nicer than outgoing administrations have been, too. When the Clinton Administration left, in addition to various pieces of furniture and what-not, they also took all the "w" keys from the computer keyboards.
I'm torn between thinking that is funny and rolling my eyes (it really was rather clever in the grand scheme of hazing), since it is sort of a tradition to do something when one loses (the Ford Administration threw peanuts everywhere when they left).
The fact that the W administration acted classy and as befits a leader leaving office during wartime speaks volumes in the presence of such a tradition and in light of what was done when they came into office.
The fact that the Obama administration refuses to cop to anything that was done for them just underscores what seems to be a feeling of entitlement and nastiness. Like "Heathers" in the White House.
Posted by: airforcewife at October 25, 2009 10:39 AM (uE3SA)
In my state, the government tried to put
bookies who take bets on horse races out of business by creating a
state agency to run off-track betting. The New York City Off-Track Betting Corporation,
which has a Governor-appointed board of directors, has been so
incompetently run that it now LOSES $38 billion per year despite its
government-granted monopoly. Taxpayers are now on the hook for over
An activity that was so lucrative to
bookies that they risked arrest to pursue it becomes a money-loser when
the state tries to do it.
Tonight I let the dog into the backyard. I caught sight of him out the window and noticed he was limping. Another sticker burr, poor fella. I went to the door and opened it, calling to my Charlie. He came running right to me, as if to say, "Help me, mommy," and I grabbed his foot, pulled the burr out, kissed his head, and he ran in the house.
And it was such a good feeling, to be needed like that and to be able to be the only one who could help him. To see the look on his face as he came running to me for help.
As for the stunning laziness he has showed in certain matters such as
the stimulus and Guantanamo, here's another theory: that Obama is like
Francisco D'Anconia in Atlas Shrugged. That is, he keeps screwing up,
because he doesn't give a damn if things get fouled up or not. He's not
putting his intelligence into the system, because he doesn't care about
the system, even if his failures make him look bad as well. In other
words, in some instance he causes damage deliberately, as with his
healthcare plan, and in other instance he causes damage by simply not
putting his mind into what he's doing.
Via Amritas, that has kept me thinking all day. Because you know I'm always up forcomparing Atlas to real life.
First, I am not sure I agree with Auster's summary of D'Anconia's strategy. I do indeed think he "gave a damn." His actions were deliberate and his method was calculating. He lost everything to bring about the collapse of the system, including the woman he loved. His sabotage was intensely personal and heartbreaking. But it was a deliberate choice because he DID give a damn. And yes, his failures made him look bad, but the trashing of his reputation was deliberate as well. He sacrificed everything he was in order to stop participating in a system he abhorred. At least that's the way I remember D'Anconia.
Conversely, I don't think Pres Obama would ruin his reputation to achieve his ends the way D'Anconia did. I think all Obama has is his reputation. I don't think he would give up money and power and his good name to bring about...whatever it is he is working towards (and there is much debate about that.) In short, I don't think he has half the integrity or fortitude as D'Anconia did. What Obama wants is wealth redistribution, which is the moral equivalent of stealing from one man and giving it to another, and then patting yourself on the back for helping, as CVG once said. He's not sacrificing anything of his own for his goals. Hell, how many times have people pointed out that he could start by helping his aunt and brother if he cares so much about all people living equally?
My opinion is that Pres Obama doesn't have the moral conviction that Francisco D'Anconia did, and that he wouldn't sacrifice one iota of his own wealth or reputation for his worldview.
"...the moral equivalent of stealing from one man and giving it to another..."
Has anyone else been thinking over the last few months (or hey, maybe longer and I'm just slow) that Robin Hood really isn't a story we should be telling kids?
Posted by: Doug at October 23, 2009 02:23 PM (wTfju)
Sarah, you're 100% correct on D'Anconia. I'd say we have a damn good James Taggart on our hands . . . wants to do nothing but take credit for everything, trusting someone else to keep the engine running. Sound about right?
Posted by: Lissa at October 23, 2009 03:26 PM (eSfKC)
Sarah, thanks for analyzing why that comparison doesn't work. It seemed off the wall to me when I forwarded it to you last night and now I clearly see why.
Rand's heroes were not interested in reputations because that would make them dependent on others.
Obama is all about dependence. He's a community organizer. He needs a community to organize ... in other words, other people. Unable to create anything himself, he takes from the haves and gives to the have-nots ... or should that be the want-mores? In turn, they support him ... the greatest haver of them all. They pat his back. They prop him up. They voted for him. And they will vote for others like him.
Doug, good point about Robin Hood. Kids shouldn't admire socialist adventurers. But I can still sympathize with Robin Hood and his Merry Men on one level. Robin Hood was anti-establishment whereas Obama is the ultimate establishment figure. And I can't imagine Robin Hood living the high life without helping his aunt and brother.
Lissa, too bad Michelle Obama is no Dagny. Nor is Palin. Where is our Rearden, much less our John Galt? The Limbaughs and Becks are transmitters, not creators. I fear that the creative class* in the real world is not on our side. Talk radio and Fox News are not enough.
*I am referring to engineers and the like, not Hollyweirdos.
Posted by: Amritas at October 23, 2009 04:04 PM (+nV09)
It is a true old saying that charity begins at home. I can't imagine anyone in my family not helping out another member if they were in the condition of Obama's siblings, aunts and uncles. In their country it would take only a pittance to keep them in good condition. A person who would not help his relatives is not worthy to ask us to help anyone. Is anyone besides me disgusted with all the talk of volunteers in comic strips and ads going around? I am a longtime volunteer and manager of other volunteers and I know how ticked they get when someone comes along wanting to be, and getting paid for, the work they have been doing for free for years. I am speaking specifically of Americorp claiming to be volunteers years ago in Louisiana. We lost several volunteer tutors in one small town due to their machinations. (hey, maybe I should have posted that on my own blog)
Posted by: Ruth H at October 23, 2009 08:18 PM (CvvEA)
Amritas, I think Robin Hood is a great story for kids. The story revolves around an anti-establishment vigilante taking back taxes and wealth that were immorally extracted from the public. What's not to like? Plus, the Disney movie is really cute
It's a great way to teach kids from a young age that taxes are distasteful!
Posted by: Lissa at October 24, 2009 06:54 AM (mgjM7)
Remember, Robin Hood lived in a feudal society, whose operative principle was "no land without a lord, no man without a lord."
Our present leaders are attempting to restore such a society, a hierarchy in which everybody knows his place (now to be determined by educational credentials and political contacts rather than strictly by birth) and in which all our open "lands" (entrepreneurial opportunities) will be enclosed and placed under the direction of the established nobles.
Posted by: david foster at October 25, 2009 09:44 AM (uWlpq)
BABY SAYINGS SUCK
Sig brought up an excellent point about bibs in the comments:
He has another few that were store bought and have annoying sayings on
them. "Hello world, I have arrived!" Stuff like that. One says "It's
all about me." I hate that one and I always turn it upside down if it's
the only one left and I have to use it.
I totally understand where he's coming from. But I also think he's lucky to have a baby boy, because I've found it's so much worse with girl stuff.
The worst I've seen so far? I mean besides all the run-of-the-mill stuff that says DIVA and PRINCESS on it? The shirt that said "Who needs a piggy bank when you have Daddy?" Second worst: "You're never too young for diamonds." On a 0-3 month old onesie.
I hate hate hate all the baby crap that says that the baby is the boss, that grandma is wrapped around my little finger, that God personally made me as an angel and then broke the mold, etc. I want my kid to have self-confidence, but this is disgusting. No, you are not God's gift to the universe, kid, sorry. Judging from the state of baby clothes sayings, you'd think we're raising a generation of Eric Cartmans.
I try to stay far far away from shirts and bibs with sayings. Well, except for the one AirForceWife gave us that says IRS DEDUCTION. That one's funny.
Just wait, Sarah.... The clothes for girls become more ridiculous as they grow older. I have a hard time finding appropriate clothes for my 6 year old. Everything is low cut and WAY too short. Not sure why we think little girls need to dress the way even adults shouldn't.
Posted by: Keri at October 23, 2009 08:19 AM (dtvJC)
It is amazingly difficult to not spend an arm and a leg and still dress your daughter appropriately. And, by appropriately, I mean age-appropriate in the non-2009 "find your inner hoochie" sense.
Talbot's kids was great, but they are defunct now. Land's End, some Old Navy and Osh Kosh are usually helpful.
I also detest sayings on children's rears and the like. Ick.
Posted by: Guard Wife at October 23, 2009 09:36 AM (p4/8e)
I have a friend(?) who just had the most adorable baby girl. While visiting to see the baby for the first time, she showed me all of the baby stuff and every damned piece of clothing had something written on it. Of course I did the obligitory "smile" and "cute", until she showed me a onesie with the saying " I LOVE MY DADDY" and underneath it said "even though he is an asshole".
Well, I guess she saw the horror on my face and said "What? What?". So, I expressed to her how unappropriate I thought that was, and she laughed and said "...yeah, he (the daddy) hates it too, so I'm going to make sure she wears it alot."
I don't think I will be visiting her and that adorable baby in the future. What a shame.
Posted by: jw at October 23, 2009 10:24 AM (spEu4)
Taste. What happened to it? Everything has been dumbed down, lowest common denominator for humor even on baby clothes. We are in ancient Rome, anything goes. Sorry to be so cynical, Sarah, you and those like you are the only hope for our future.
Posted by: Ruth H at October 23, 2009 11:36 AM (KLwh4)
IF we ever finally have a baby, regardless of gender, I'll find a way to get it an "Evil Dictator In Training" outfit :-)
Posted by: Beth at October 23, 2009 12:40 PM (ZT9NN)
Three cheers for you. All of those baby clothes remind me of the bumper stickers I see that say "BITCH." Your kid's the boss? Daddy's just a piggy bank? Your daughter's a diva? That's a character flaw, folks, a problem that needs to be worked on, not something to proudly proclaim and flaunt!
Posted by: Lucy at October 23, 2009 01:07 PM (TEZ1F)
Yeah, messages on kids' clothes are almost NEVER good - even for boys. I want my son to know he's more than "Mommy's little mess-maker."
Never has learning to sew cute little jumpers & stuff sounded SO appealing as now ...
(That Fig Tree place is one heck of a start, btw!!!)
Posted by: Krista at October 23, 2009 02:17 PM (sUTgZ)
I bought Henry a shirt in DC that said Future President, he was in kindergarten, and it was elcction time..
Cor ahas one that says Girls hunt too, and Daddy is my Hero
Posted by: awtm at October 23, 2009 05:39 PM (k54Mw)
I worked at a Carter's store for almost a year and a half after graduating with my M.Ed. It was something I could do to help pay the bills and still be able to substitute teach. They (generally) stick with tasteful stuff.
I've seen my niece in a black "Barf Vader" t-shirt, and more recently one that says "My daddy's the big kahuna", and one in a pink camo "PRINCESS". Of course, I don't see her every day. I'd thought about making some baby clothes for her, but she's growing so fast, I wouldn't be able to keep up. She's only 14 months old, but she's already fitting into 3T stuff...
A young lady my sisters and I know from the ballpark (she's still in elementary school, and she's going to be my sister's flower girl in 2 weeks) likes to shop "Justice for Girls". Yeah, that's one of the places that sells stuff with writing across the butt. Her parents are divorced and she lives with mom, but it's dad that takes her out to the ballgames. I have had to stop myself from saying anything to dad, since he's not the one taking his daughter shopping for clothes...
Posted by: Miss Ladybug at October 23, 2009 06:44 PM (paOhf)
My dad has been into MMA before it was really called that...they used to call it street fighting, real world combatives, etc...
At any rate, when he had my little brother a few years back MMA had started to become mainstream and a lot of the clothes they bought for him reflected my dad's interest and skill...
1) My dad can choke your dad out 2) Snap, Tap or Nap...actually, just the nap 3) It's not a crib...I'm training for cage fighting 4) Future Champion of the World
Some of those are only funny or cute for MMA fans. I added in a few "geeky" math joke ones to cover my side of the deal but I was just glad there wasn't any of the sailor outfit or Easter outfits...my little bro should grow up tough and smart...
Posted by: Matt at October 23, 2009 09:29 PM (40Xoi)
I agree with you wholeheartedly on the inappropriate clothing for little girls. My youngest is twelve now and everything in every store is designed to start these girls on the road to recreational sex at the earliest age possible. We never buy anything with writing on the rear end even when she was a baby and now we're just trying to keep her boobs, bellybutton and nether regions covered. When you do find something even close to suitable, it's so tight it looks painted on. Aaaarrrggghh.
Now my daughter is having the same problem with my 1 year old granddaughter. Difficult to find just plain clothes.
And even though she has Mimi wrapped around her teeny, tiny perfect little finger, I will never let it be put on her clothing. It's our little secret.
Posted by: Pamela at October 24, 2009 01:11 AM (zJK/n)
I'm not universally opposed to all writing. In fact, I can't wait to buy this shirt. But most of the writing is crap, or offensive, or slutty. Who designs that?
I could always get the shirt I saw that said MY MAMA LOVES OBAMA...
Posted by: Sarah at October 24, 2009 07:19 AM (gWUle)
I tend to buy my daughter's clothes in the boys' section anyhow. One, they tend to have fewer sayings on them. Two, she actually likes rockets and dinosaurs. Three, I didn't have to worry about low-cut, short-short shorts ON MY INFANT.
Seriously. Go to Target, and pick up a pair of boys' Circo shorts and a pair of girls' Circo shorts, in the same size. Notice the difference in cut. Crap, half the time the girls' shorts wouldn't have covered her diaper!
Posted by: Tara at October 24, 2009 10:59 AM (2fGuG)
I do love the geeky humor, and some of the "little boy" humor. I have a few shirts I found at Walgreens that were pretty funny:
"Diaper Loading, 75%" (With progress bar)
"With a Shirt this Cool, Who Needs Pants?"
"Hey dude, your girlfriend keeps checking me out."
We also have a onesie from our friends that says, "Shh . . . I'm downloading" and another I got at his shower that has a little muffin with muscle arms that says "Stud Muffin". SO cute!
I wanted to get him a Baby Trogdor onesie, but they were sold out at the time. Might have to check availability again.
I do agree, though, that most of the shirts with words are kind of silly, especially for girls. And I HATE the words-across-the-butt trend. That's just wrong for any age.
Posted by: Deltasierra at October 26, 2009 03:19 PM (D4fxj)
I have a few onesies that say things like, "handsome" and "cutie pie", or "little monkey", but typically really small under a picture of a monkey holding a banana or something. Not bad. And I have one that says "Daddy Loves Me" that I bought specifically for r&r. But yeah, I went to buy something for my friend's baby girl, and yes, the boy stuff is way better. The "daddy loves me" kind of outfits were the only wearable (imo) sayings, the rest just best to avoid words altogether.
Posted by: leofwende at October 27, 2009 02:23 PM (28CBm)
That is an awesome bib. My favorite of Siglet's are these dinosaur ones that someone at church made for him--they're HUGE. This is helpful because he's a fairly, um--KINETIC--eater.
He has another few that were store bought and have annoying sayings on them. "Hello world, I have arrived!" Stuff like that. One says "It's all about me." I hate that one and I always turn it upside down if it's the only one left and I have to use it.
This is probably more than you wanted to know.
Posted by: Sig at October 22, 2009 11:51 PM (D4fxj)
There's another pregnant Sara blogger, heh. Congrats to her.
I started thinking about what advice I would give to another pregnant lady, and I decided to keep it generic: Listen to everyone's advice, but find your own path.
(Because I too like to invoke Chairman Mao while giving unsolicited advice. In fact, I think he's who I turn to most for inappropriate quotes regarding pregnancy and/or graduation.)
But seriously. An example: Everyone I knew told me to buy under-the-belly maternity pants. They're more modern, they have cuter styles, and they were "more comfortable." So I did. And they dug into me and annoyed the tar out of me. I was always complaining about the elastic. So one day last week, on a frustrated whim, I tried on a pair of the over-the-belly pants. Holy cow, I was so much happier. They don't dig in like the others. Pants don't make me cry anymore, hooray!
I took everyone else's advice and it didn't work for me. I'm just bummed it took me seven weeks of uncomfortable pants before I finally threw everyone else's fashion advice out the window. I figured they knew better than I did, but it turns out they had just done what worked for them. And apparently I am carrying way low and needed something different.
So listen to everyone and ask lots of questions, but then go with your gut. If your gut says that you should be wearing grampa pants up to your armpits, then go for it!
Unless you eat a lot of fruit and soft foods, you ain't everybody.
And for guys, the reason pregnant chicks are hot is because at some level, you know they put out.
Posted by: chuck at October 21, 2009 06:02 PM (bMH2g)
I'm 9 weeks along right now and am horribly, horribly nauseous almost all of the time. I'm in that weird stage where I don't fit maternity clothes or my regular clothes. And any pressure on my tummy makes my nausea worse. I'm either hanging out in the house in sack dresses or big honkin' maternity pants hidden under a baggy shirt. Anything to get through this phase....
LOLOLOLOL at Chuck's comment.
Posted by: Heather at October 21, 2009 07:41 PM (umwpW)
Oh don't worry about it, dear. :-) I don't think you'll be making the DBFHB list any time soon. And really in my case everyone does know more than I do. The only subject on which I am selectively open to advice is fitness. I trust my trainers and a doctor. Otherwise I'm clueless and just reading tons of books to catch up.
You're like me, so self aware.
And chuck's comment made me laugh (hoarsly) out loud. "because you know they put out". HA! my kinda humor
Posted by: Sara at October 21, 2009 08:34 PM (mjMky)
I admit it - I worn "granny" pants during my prego times. I couldn't stand anything cutting into me either. When not going out of the house, I stuck to gowns or my hubs huge t-shirts, it was just more comfortable.
Always do what works for you and you will be just fine
And I agree with Sara & Heather, Chuck's comment - ROFLMAO.
Posted by: LMT at October 22, 2009 10:04 AM (leJhY)
I have something to admit here. Probably it's because of my age but... I have never understood how anyone could stand to wear bikini underwear, it is way toooooo much like the old sanitary belts (especially thongs) we had to wear back in the day. I feel the same about the under the belly pants, even the higher than that but not up to the waist type. I guess I'm just too used to my comfortable ways. BTW I will be 73 next Monday! I do go wayyyy back.
Posted by: Ruth H at October 22, 2009 11:46 AM (zlUde)
Hahahahah, who I turn to most. I laugh every time I hear it, and think of the guy on Fox whose name I am totally drawing a blank on. Maybe the WH is sending me subliminal messages while I sleep to steer clear of Fox?
I didn't like under the belly, but did like right across the belly. Over the belly was okay. I'm sure people mean well, but the only thing you need while pregnant is a good body pillow and a clear path to the bathroom. After baby, forget all the cute clothes with thousands of snaps and get the gowns so when you are changing the 100th diaper for the day it is easier on you.
You have figured out the key to being a good mom WAYYYYY before I did! DO YOUR OWN THING! GREAT advice!
By the way, I'm with you on the pants. The only pants that worked for me were the over the belly ones as well, but because I was carrying WAY HIGH and the under belly ones fell off of me!
Posted by: Stacy at October 23, 2009 04:15 PM (qlReK)
Beware of the advice. When I was pregnant with my first, I was pretty stupid, but thought I was smart. I got really tied into doing 'what everyone else' was doing, or the timelines that were soooo important.... Having to breast feed or weining or getting rid of the binky or bottle, walking, talking, potty training.... Every kid is different and each has his/her own timeline. Don't worry about it! Of course, the whole breast feeding until 9 years old is, uhm, creepy. And another thing....
Breast feeding sucks ass, too.
Posted by: Allicadem at October 23, 2009 06:45 PM (1UtZE)
I can't find them on the website, but I had some Motherhood maternity stretch pants that were the BEST PREGNANCY PANTS IN THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD.
I had two pair, and I rotated them frequently.
They still have some very nice styles, though not the plain black stretch pants I have. Just be aware that an XL in Motherhood shirt language is a M in normal-person (non-pregnant normal-person, at that) language. Their shirts have NO boob space. That is a maternity clothes company FAIL. How can you make maternity clothes, and not leave tons of boob space??? I just don't understand . . .
Despite the shortcomings in their shirts, their pants are unparalleled in the comfort department. I recommend going to your nearest Motherhood store and trying stuff on. They're kind of pricey, but they are SOOO worth the money.
Posted by: Deltasierra at October 26, 2009 02:52 PM (D4fxj)
MASSIVE FRAUD IS A SURPRISE?
On a superficial note, I just have to say how funny I think it is that the Obama administration is all in a tizzy about fraud in the elections in Afghanistan. Our own country is over 200 years old, and we still have people squawking every election cycle about fraud (and rightfully so, because we still have people voting unjustly in every cycle). I just think it's funny to expect Afghanistan to be this bastion of trustworthiness and ethical behavior and to be surprised when it's not. Really, they can't talk about committing more troops until election fraud is settled? I can't believe massive election fraud wasn't factored into the plan as a given!
Regarding the Afghan election, which is now headed for a runoff,
the good news is that the vast majority of Afghans didnâ€™t vote in the
first place and probably are not paying much attention, since they are
illiterate and mostly live in remote villages, many of which do not
have radios. (Thatâ€™s also a mouthful of bad news.)
Also, he is being a total John Adams and hasn't sent me one single letter. "But we don't have outgoing mail out here" blah blah blah, like I believe that.
I'm tired of being in stores and seeing something I could give him for Christmas, and then putting it back because I realize that he won't be here for Christmas...
I'm tired of seeing myself in the mirror at night before bed and noticing how absolutely remarkable and amazing I look with my big, bare belly, and knowing he will never get to see it. I am not trying to be lewd, but I think the hardest thing about the pregnancy so far is that my husband doesn't get to see what I look like with no clothes on. The changes are pretty phenomenal, and I don't have anyone to share it with.
I just miss him.
I know, I know, "gold to aery thinness beat" and all, like I always say. But I'm feeling dull and sublunary today.
Sarah, I am sorry you are going thru this alone, especially after all you both went thru to get "here". My idea/suggestion won't "take the place" of your husband being there w/you, but wondering if you can take weekly/monthly pictures of the amazing changes, then put them in a book (like snapfish advertises - you could do a nice leather bound or something) and the you can give to your husband when he returns? Your comment about body changing doesnt sound lewd, but maybe you could photograph it and create a book for him to enjoy and recollect/reflect.
Just an idea...
Posted by: Keri at October 20, 2009 01:59 PM (dtvJC)
Maybe you might like to splurge for the gorgeous belly shots by a professional photographer?
I was an awful pregnant lady - I looked like an elephant. I always envied people who looked cute enough to get those gorgeous pregnant belly shots. You could totally pull that off.
Also, I was never pregnant when they were manufacturing cute preggers clothes. Somehow, whenever I was knocked up it was all about plaid or horizontal stripes, or else stuff that Mrs. Roper would have worn on Three's Company.
Posted by: airforcewife at October 20, 2009 03:22 PM (9sMSe)
And ya know what? If you see something your Husband might want, or need? Buy that sucker up! Who says Christmas has to be in December. You can have Christmas when he is home, safe and sound!
Posted by: jw at October 21, 2009 10:14 AM (spEu4)
I like the idea of the preggers pics too.
And, the buying of the Christmas gifts. Why not?
And, if anyone were to have to come to my house at any point this week, I'd be in TROUBLE. Between traveling, M2 being sick, me being sick and never being home in the evenings, this place is running off the rails!
I hope you hear from him soon!
Posted by: Guard Wife at October 21, 2009 11:20 AM (p4/8e)
John Podhoretz once remarked that all conservatives are bilingual: We
speak both conservative and liberal. Liberals are monolingual, because
they can afford to be. To the Obama crowd, Fox News is a foreign
tongue. The â€œmainstreamâ€ tongue? Well, we all grew up with it, were
taught in it.
When conservatives hear liberal bias, they say,
â€œYeah, so? The sun rises in the east.â€ When liberals hear conservative
bias, or even a point or bit of news uncongenial to liberals, theyâ€™re
apt to say, â€œEek, a mouse!â€
This is the same thing that makes liberals say that Rush is probably a racist even though there's no proof. They think they understand how we think, when they're generally pretty far off the mark.
YAY, GIVE HIM ANOTHER PEACE PRIZE!
Finally, an Obama move I can applaud:
Federal drug agents won't pursue pot-smoking patients or their
sanctioned suppliers in states that allow medical marijuana, under new
legal guidelines to be issued Monday by the Obama administration.
Justice Department officials described the new policy to The Associated
Press, saying prosecutors will be told it is not a good use of their
time to arrest people who use or provide medical marijuana in strict
compliance with state law.
It makes no sense to have a state law that makes something legal and a federal law that trumps it. For me, it's a simple Tenth Amendment issue and a fight or flee issue: if you need medicinal marijuana, move to a state that offers it; if it offends you, move away. I don't think it should be a federal law at all.
So good job, for now, of clarifying a ridiculous conflict in laws. Let the states decide.
Now to work on teasing apart inter- and intra-state commerce...starting in Montana...
HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO A WORD HE'S SAID?
David Frum is absolutely wrong. I would bet anything you'd ask of me that Glenn Beck would rather be penniless than to sell out on his values and principles. I would guarantee it. Frum is dead wrong, which makes me wonder if he's ever even listened to Beck in the first place.
Why does Frum call his site newmajority.com? Because he feels liberals are the majority and he wants to be part of it. He cares what others think. He wants to be one of them.
America has changed (= liberalized), so 'conservatives' must also change (= liberalize).
Frum wants American conservatives to be like British and Canadians. Listen to him in this video starting at 0:03. I couldn't stand to listen to any more of it.
Perhaps Frum believes that those who have not become RINOs, who have not 'evolved' to a 'higher', more Leftist level, must be clinging to the past for profit.
Or perhaps it's all projection on his part.
I don't really care what he thinks. I have no idea. I shouldn't speculate. It is sufficient to condemn what he says.
If Frum has gone liberal, I'm OK with that. I don't know him personally. I don't feel betrayed. People switch sides all the time. Personal beliefs don't hurt me.
What upsets me is how he wants others to follow his lead and build "a new [non-]conservatism that can [supposedly] win again". Frum can believe whatever he wants, but does he have to try to drag us down with him so he won't feel lonely?
Why should we support RINOs who are doomed to lose? Why would a liberal vote for a guy who offers almost as many handouts? Why would a conservative vote for a guy who offers handouts at all?
Winning isn't everything. Being small r-right is what matters. If only a few people are right, so be it. I'd rather be one of them than part of Frum's new majority.
If most people start believing 2 + 2 = 5, Frum will advise us to believe it, or at least to 'admit' that 2 + 2 = 5 ... sometimes. I'd ignore him. Truth is not democratic.
Again, changing your mind is not inherently wrong. The question is, do you change it because you want to be (un)like everyone else*, or because you think you're closer to the truth?
(*Being a deliberate contrarian is as bad as being a lemming. Rejecting something just because everyone else believes in it is still a form of caring about what others think, of letting others determine your thoughts, of not using your brain's full potential. What a waste.)
One more thing: Although there is no inherent reason that the word conservatism has to mean what I think it does as opposed to what Frum thinks it does or something completely different, we need some degree of consensus on what a term means, lest it become meaningless.
'Fascist' is almost meaningless. Nowadays it simply refers to whatever the speaker doesn't like, regardless of whether it resembles Mussolini's ideology or not. It's just a more politically flavored synonym of 'bad'.
Will 'conservative' mean 'almost liberal'? Will a new term like 'traditionalist' arise to take its place? That term has its own issues: e.g., which traditions does traditionalism stand for? All of them? Some of them? Maybe there's no point in discussing a new term now if we should try to hang on to the one we've already got.
Posted by: Amritas at October 18, 2009 06:07 PM (h9KHg)
I think they do believe what they say. I mean, what a waste of an article. It's not like Olbermann, O'Reilly and all the other opinion hosts just woke up one day and decided they wanted to be famous and though really hard about what their tactic would be. That's such a ridiculous statement from Frum, however, I do have to say that although I like the message, I don't like Glenn Beck. I mean, he really gets over the top sometimes...like when he starts crying about stuff...seriously? Come on, Glenn. You're not Oprah. It's supposed to be an opinion news show.
I love looking pregnant. I never want to look normal again. You can have the aches and pains, but let me keep the tummy. I take great delight in the fact that I crossed through hell to get here, but at least I make a cute pregnant lady. I deserve for luck to be on my side for once, right? I have been amazed that strangers have had the guts to ask me when my baby is due; either they are really brave or I look so obviously pregnant that they feel safe in asking. I'd like to believe the latter.
I am halfway there.
Whenever you call the hospital, a recording says that if you are less than 20 weeks pregnant, you should go to the ER in an emergency. If you are more than 20 weeks, you head straight to Labor and Delivery.
Should something go wrong, I have crossed the threshold from "having a miscarriage" to "delivering a baby." It's both a daunting and a wonderful milestone.
Most of the time, I don't worry about that. At least not now that she's started wiggling where I can feel it. It wasn't as wow as I expected it to be, because I guess I expected a hard kick instead of little stretches and rumbles. But when I really think about it, it is a fun feeling. And it's like a secret: I can be doing stuff with my mom and then say, "She's been kicking this whole time," and my mom gets this wonderful look on her face like I told her I was pregnant for the first time all over again. That's been fun.
Still, the worry is always in the back of my mind. Every time I buy something, I imagine it sitting in the garage collecting dust like all the other things I've bought over the years. I bought a crib and mattress this week, and part of me just chalks it up as money wasted because I cannot really see this all working out in the end. Surely there will never really be a baby in this house.
Sometimes I catch sight of myself in the mirror when I'm getting ready for bed, and I "discover" that I'm pregnant. It hits me, that I have this belly and that for most people it means that they will be having a baby soon. But I still kinda think of it as something that happens to "most people," not me.
She has a name, and yet I never use it. She is only "the baby."
And I don't know when it will feel real. I should tour Labor and Delivery. I should take one of the parenting classes. I should work on a birth plan. I should consider a doula in case my husband doesn't get home in time. But I do none of these things because they still seem pointless.
It's hard to explain, that I am enjoying the pregnancy while simultaneously doubting that it will ever actually result in a living baby.
taken a lot of guff for being too ready to have a baby, which is why I find all this so funny: I've been ready for a theoretical baby for ten years but I am still not ready for this real one inside of me. People get wide-eyed when I say that I bought college-themed onesies way back when my
husband and I were just dating, knowing that someday a baby would root for our
alma maters. We bought a mosaic to hang on baby's wall when we were on
our cruise in 2005, long before we were ever thinking of having a baby. And I bought an art print of a
mother and baby bird even before I ever met my husband. I have been ready
for this moment for as long as I can remember. And now we have a nursery,
an honest-to-goodness nursery, and all these things are in it. But still...
When will I stop waiting for the other shoe to drop? I just want to feel like a normal happy person instead of leaving the tags on everything "just in case."
This post turned out far more morose than I thought it would be...
And while I'm writing this, I realized that I sort of cling to this sorrow. I think part of me is resisting being a "normal happy person." I still carry the pain of the three lost babies, but to the stranger on the street, I look like any other pregnant Army wife. And once I have the baby, I am just like any other mom. But I don't feel like a regular old first-time mom. Now that I look like everyone else in the Babies R Us, I feel like I want to wear a sign that says "Trust me, it was much harder to get to this point than you think."
I haven't figured out yet how to separate the happiness of this baby from the sadness of the others without feeling like I am turning my back on the others and also myself. I haven't figured out how to get over my past, and most of the time I am not really sure I want to. I don't want to dwell on it, but I don't want to move on and forget it either.
And maybe that's why I can't cut any tags off. It's not really that I think this baby will die, because I truthfully don't really think she will. Or at least I don't have any reason to think she will. Instead, I think I resist because it means accepting a new identity and shedding the old one, which is proving hard for me. Now I am just another pregnant Army wife and will soon be just another Army wife dragging a stroller around. My belly is a sign of great things, but it's also the end of the person I have been for the past three years. And even though I've hated that person, I don't know how to not be her anymore.
I don't know how to move on and just be happy and just be a mom without constantly feeling like I need to explain everything. When people ask if this is my first baby, I just need to answer Yes instead of feeling like I need to unload the whole story. Because right now, the story's still in me and it still feels like a big part of who I am.
And I wonder when it won't...when I'll just feel like this is my baby and we are a regular family like everyone else.
I went through a lot of the same things as far as emotions go. I used to have dreams where I'd wake up not pregnant anymore, and be in
a complete panic when I actually did wake up even though it was her
kicking me awake. Every big pregnancy milestone, I had a dream that somebody stole the baby before I got to experience it--the big ultrasound, the first kicks, going to the hospital to give birth. I didn't wash any of her clothes until the 32 week, and only the gender-neutral clothes. We fought so hard to get pregnant, and STAY pregnant that even when my water broke, I was kind of surprised that it was really going to happen--that we were going to get to meet the Captain. So either it's normal to feel like that, or we think alike.
And as morbid as that crossing from going to the ER to going to L&D threshold is, it is a big deal. You're doing great, and I'm so happy for you.
Posted by: Ann M. at October 15, 2009 10:32 AM (+GQ3g)
You don't have to be 'just another Army Mom.' Your story is a part of you. It's a part of your little girl. It's how you became who you are now (even as you move into new phases of your identity) and it's part of how she came to be. No, people won't know that from simply looking at either of you, but it will still always be that way.
You know that I lost my Mom when my first daughter was 4 months old. When people would see me in the context of my pregnancy they had no clue that I was also living in constant fear and worry and sadness because my Mom had terminal cancer. And I got really ticked off at people who just oozed pregant happiness at me because I was expecting without realizing the heartache I was experiencing at the same time. And that experience is a part of me and my daughter. I looked like any first time Mom. But I wasn't. And the reality is, that a whole lot of women who look like any 'normal pregnant person' are also living in a story a lot bigger than the baby bump they're carrying around. You aren't just any first time Mom who can take all that comes from new baby stuff for granted. You are a woman who fought tooth and nail for a child. You've used more Mama-bear ferocity in the last few years than most people do during the first few years of their babies lives. You know better than most of us how tenuous life really is.
So don't think that you have to dismiss the hugeness of all that has happened as baby coming becomes more and more a reality. It's part of who you are. It's part of who she is--not in a bad way that means you're strapping heartache to her life forever, but in a good way that means her life is already infused with meaning and a story that is bigger than her alone. You aren't just any pregnant army Mom. You are Sarah, and you are pretty damned amazing. You look absolutely gorgeous and I can't wait til you get to meet that precious little girl.
(P.S. I'm sorry I wrote a book...)
Posted by: Val at October 15, 2009 11:36 AM (5btL/)
You are a lovely pregnant lady. When I was pregnant, I heard about free doula services for the spouses of deployed service members. I'm not sure if you know about it already, but it's definitely worth exploring. Enjoy those little kicks; they get bigger!
Posted by: Lee Anne at October 15, 2009 12:32 PM (N5ZmR)
Yay! I'm glad you are enjoying all of this so much.
I think the waiting for the other shoe to drop and the grieving alongside the enjoyment are totally understandable. In fact, I'm guessing it's normal. I've been in a different set of shoes, so I'm grieving a different set of things, but what you're saying here totally resonates with me.
Perhaps we could have t-shirts made up to wear into Babies 'R Us. . . .
For what it's worth, I'm not sure one can separate sadness over the past from happiness in the present. I don't think you need to try, if you don't want to.
And for what it's worth, I totally don't think you *do* need to just answer "Yes." Those three little ones you lost really were your babies and you really did lose them, and that *is* a big part of who you are. I think it's fine to say, "Actually, we lost three little ones early in pregnancy. She's our fourth." If they're uncomfortable, their problem.
For what it's worth. . . .
Posted by: Lucy at October 15, 2009 02:25 PM (YNvUz)
Aww, what a cutie patootie pregnant chick you are!
I know it's hard. Nothing anyone says will make that feeling go away, but just try to enjoy as much as you can!
Posted by: sharona at October 15, 2009 08:14 PM (BeRta)
When I was pregnant with L.E., I spent the first 20 weeks racked with fear. I didn't look at baby names, didn't tell my office, went to bed immediately when coming home from work, and largely lived in my own self made bat cave. After infertility and miscarriage, it was impossible for me to focus on the impending miracle. Too scary. Too fearful of how destroyed I would be if something went wrong and my hopes were crushed again.
At 20 weeks, when we found out she was a girl, for the first time even uttered a baby name. I was still guarded, shaky and scared. Better... but consumed by fear. As the weeks went on, it did get better and I did enjoy parts of it, but the whole process was all consuming. Even right at the very end, when she stopped moving at 41 weeks, even through the weekly ultrasounds, etc, I was borderline hysterical. That day of fear led to the birth of my sweet, phenomenal baby girl. The fear played it's role that day and led me to a needed induction and a perfect birth. And the thing I couldn't stop saying for the first few weeks was. No one can ever take her away from me. She's really mine. This really happened. It was an unbelievable journey.
I still grieve for the baby I lost and the pain and suffering en route to my children. It's never left me, and I doubt it ever will. I cry tears of joy every time I hear news of a good ultrasound for friends and breathe a little sigh of relief. If someone around me experiences a loss, I move what I can to make sure I am there, supportive, listening, and not offering advice or it will all work out in the ends. It's just a part of me now. And frankly if someone told me to just pull it together already, I wouldn't have a clue how, now two babies and five years later. This *is* who I am now.
But, dude! You bought a crib - that's huge! I couldn't pull that off until month 8! I never bought a single thing until the last month. You're doing great, looking good and being an amazing mother. That will show forever. And IMO, as your baby girl grows, share this journey with her. Let her feel your heartache, see you as real and know how undeniably wanted she was in each and every minute. That will help form her character, all while binding the two of you together. No one is walking without some fraction of pain in their lives. To pretend to be so is phony. So be real with your thoughts, be real with your emotions, and in another 20 weeks or so, I wish you hours of endless bliss with your sweet baby girl. Clear your calendar and get ready to soak up the amazing relief and love. Of course your baby will be brilliant, so she'll probably come right out of the womb, look up at you and say "Thanks for waiting mama, I'll try to always make it worth it for you."
I'm anxious for your rainbows of peace as well.
Posted by: Lane at October 15, 2009 08:41 PM (Xla7j)
Yup! you are definitely pregnant. I never lost a baby but I was always fearful and I have to admit to being superstitious about getting "things" too soon. My fears were not relieved by ultrasounds, we did not have them in my days of being pregnant, but I did have three very healthy, beautiful babies. Yours will be, too.
Posted by: Ruth H at October 15, 2009 08:59 PM (LsQQS)
This line especially caught me: "I haven't figured out yet how to separate the happiness of this baby
from the sadness of the others without feeling like I am turning my
back on the others and also myself."
I hope when you first look in that little girl's eyes, this all clicks into place and "the others" take their place as that which prepared a very special place for this little girl in everyone's hearts. So it won't feel like you're turning your back.
Posted by: Guard Wife at October 16, 2009 12:02 AM (p4/8e)
I, too, waited for the other shoe to drop the entire time I was pregnant with the boys. Even at the birth, when "Baby A" was in distress, I thought, "Well, at least there's another if this one is dead... I didn't go through all of that for nothing."
And to this day, unfortunately, the dread never leaves. But that's what being a mom is about. You never stop wondering when the other shoe will drop. For some of us, it has dropped -- maybe too many times -- to feel safe and unaffected. But life makes you more and more wary the older you get! We're all barely hanging by a thread and seeing how fragile (AND strong) that thread can be.... Can be numbing and scary....
Congrats! I can't wait for you to get REALLY big.... And feel the different parts, elbows and knees, gliding and rolling under the skin....
Posted by: Allicadem at October 16, 2009 08:02 PM (eGglD)
You do look just lovely, Sarah. I'm SO excited for you.
Posted by: Miss Ladybug at October 16, 2009 08:27 PM (paOhf)
Posted by: Mrs. Who at October 17, 2009 02:22 PM (+UBtq)
You and your daughter are both beautiful. Very radiant
Posted by: Teresa VanHove at October 19, 2009 04:24 PM (dkExz)
Though our paths are so different, as always I hear you. I'm struggling with something similar--putting in its proper place the pain of the past and identity it has forged (how do I let go of the pain without letting go of who I have become?). I think the commenters above are on the right track with this subject. I think maybe the idea is to weave the pain into the fabric and life in such a way that it no longer drags us down and yet going forward it makes happiness all the sweeter.
*hugs of both joy and sympathy*
Posted by: FbL at October 20, 2009 12:36 PM (HyNTm)
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