December 24, 2006


What I love most about being home from Germany is that I can get things done in the morning. I can get up and make it to Walmart before the majority of shoppers do so I don't have to battle the crowds. I love that I can grocery shop at 0700 instead of waiting until 1000 at the commissary.

So this morning we ran to Walmart to try to beat the Christmas crowd because we needed a few groceries and because when we plugged our four-year-old phone into the wall, it started smoking. Hence, a replacement was in order. We got everything we needed and headed for the self check-out. And as I rang my items out, the big red light started flashing and I needed customer assistance.

I had committed the unforgivable sin of trying to buy Miller High Life before noon on a Sunday.

Look, we come from the heart of the Bible belt, and I have never had to think about these ridiculous and archaic liquor laws before. For the first few years of my drinking life, I lived in the state with the loosest laws and the smallest alcohol taxes. It never even crosses my mind that we can't buy something until I walk into a dry Walmart in Kentucky and wonder where the booze aisle is. Apparently you can't buy hard liquor anywhere in this danged country except for designated liquor stores, which always manage to be closed when you need booze (like Thanksgiving). And you can't even buy the soft stuff when you're supposed to be in church, I guess.

Talk about meddling.

I kinda think that if I want to get sloppy drunk at daybreak on Sunday, that's my own business. Why do we still have laws that are related to the sabbath? Shouldn't some hardcore separation of church and state folks be in a wad about this? I'm a little steamed that if my husband wants to have a Christmas Beer, we have to drive back out to the store later in the afternoon. Maybe we should just set ourselves up like Sweden, where you can't even pick the stuff out yourself and instead have to take a number and then tell the clerk to bring you a case of beer. Good heavens, can't we be responsible for anything ourselves, even our drinking habits?

I'm gonna go downstairs and drink a shot of something just for spite! It's early Sunday morning and I'm drinking! Mwahahaha.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:36 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Where I live, not only can't you by alcohol (in a store) all day Sunday, you can't buy it after 8:00 p.m. on Saturday (bars are still serving though).

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at December 24, 2006 05:29 AM (Z3kjO)

2 sounds like Texas.

Posted by: Jen at December 24, 2006 07:30 AM (T8QHc)

3 Drinking alcohol early Sunday morning? Now I know you're truly Army! As the saying goes, "It's after 1700 somewhere in the US Army world!" Heck, I think I would need a shot just to brave the crowd at Walmart. Merry Christmas Eve! Randy

Posted by: R1 at December 24, 2006 09:17 AM (xexA1)

4 Further south in Georgia we can't buy any alcohol on Sunday and we can't buy on Christmas either.

Posted by: Jill at December 24, 2006 09:56 AM (dIPDr)

5 First off, Merry Christmas Sarah! There are several counties in KY that are "dry" hard liquor at all...and I think no beer either. At least that was what it was like when I was a kid. My dad and uncles had to stop in Richmond to buy beer and a bottle of whisky for Grandpa whenever we would go to his house in...I think it was Laurel County...might have been Rockcastle. Of course outlawing alcohol just made the moonshine business a booming proposition. Oh...and all of this is voted on...tis the will of the people!

Posted by: LCB at December 24, 2006 07:03 PM (myd9a)

6 Indiana still has "blue laws" that prevent demon rum from being sold on Sunday. I had the idea on Christmas Eve day that it would be fun to make some bourbon balls. (Pecans soaked in bourbon,rolled in confectioner's sugar and dipped in chocolate..) At the check stand: NO DICE SISTER! NICE TRY! The excise police have been called! It's all over for you now! Sad thing was,you don't need a lot of bourbon,so I was buying one of those teee-ny tiny bottles. You'd think I'd learn to go big or stay home. Yes. I am a de'sprit crim-nal I am!

Posted by: MaryIndiana at December 26, 2006 07:45 PM (V5Xp/)

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