July 23, 2010

MY BABY REGISTRY ADVICE

When I was registering for a baby, I was definitely sweating the small stuff.  I was looking for someone to tell me how many pacifiers I needed to buy and which brand and how many spit rags and so on.  I got lots of good advice, but now I have my own trial and error wisdom to pass on to others.  Since I knew several pregnant ladies who were coming up right behind me, I started emailing them with tips that I thought would be helpful.  I thought I'd consolidate all that info here.

I know, remember when I said that everyone recommended under-the-belly maternity pants to me and I hated them?  I know this advice might not work for everyone, but I consider it a starting place.  Sometimes when you're looking at a wall of bibs in the store, you just want some sort of recommendation of where to begin so you don't waste money reinventing the wheel.  I came to find that I personally like terrycloth bibs the best, so it was frustrating for me to later have a friend see me putting a bib on my baby and say, "Oh yeah, those are the only way to go."  I wish she'd shared her knowledge with me before I spent lots of money buying other types of bibs.

So here are my tips:

** I LOVE my Itzbeen.  I like being fastidious, and it's been great.  Also, you will lose your mind when the baby is first born.  I couldn't remember when she last ate to save my life.  I also constantly forgot to take my own meds.  So keeping track on "the clicker" (as we call it here) was priceless.  This actually warrants its own post.

** I love the Swaddle Me blanket that R1 got us.  We went out and bought a second because we used it so often, and when she outgrew those, we bought the bigger size.  It's great, and she still likes to be wrapped in it.  In fact, we're now having trouble weaning her from being swaddled.

** And here's a tip: All the shampoo and the thermometer and stuff...go ahead and open it all ahead of time.  We gave our daughter her first bath and she's sitting in the water and I'm struggling to open the damned seals on all the liquids.  Shoulda done that ahead of time.  Also, with the pacifiers, get some and open them and boil them ahead of time.  There's nothing more annoying than sanitizing a pacifier while baby screams.  The Avent and Mam brands are our kid's favorite.  Everyone talks about Nuk, so that's what I had, and she doesn't like the shape.  Your baby may or may not like the shape of whichever one you buy, but I'd spend the money to boil a couple and get them ready ahead of time.

**  Burp cloths.  A lot of them.  And different styles.  In the beginning when my milk supply was ridiculously too much, we made a huge mess every time.  Whenever I sat down to nurse, I made sure my baby had a bib on.  And I ALWAYS had two burp cloths nearby: a thick absorbent one (like a cloth diaper) for over my shoulder and a thin one to wipe her mouth and my breast, as milk gets everywhere.  I recommend ones like these because they don't have an edge to them.  They can wipe right at her lips and mouth without being awkward.  So I'd get several of these; I keep them all around the house so I don't have to go looking for them.  One thick one and one thin one in every room I might possibly feed in.  Once I got my milk supply under control, we dribble and spray a lot less.  But I still have spit cloths everywhere, because she went through a vomiting phase and now she just spits up and burps like every baby.

** Also receiving blankets.  I have used both the Boppy and the Brest Friend to nurse and I put a blanket over the pillow and under her to catch errant milk...or vomit.  So blankets are everywhere and they can double as burp cloths in a pinch.

** So yeah, we had a major vomiting issue.  I hear it's not uncommon.  A crucial thing is waterproof pads, like these.  We have these everywhere too.  I had a crib-size one under my fitted sheet to protect my mattress (I put this there at the end of my pregnancy in case my water broke in bed.)  I nursed in bed at night when our girl was still in our room and she barfed several times in my bed.  But even if it's not barf, I leak and she leaks.  In fact, I have the big one under my bedsheet and then a smaller bassinet-sized one that I lay on top of the sheet when we nurse.  I have many of that size and use them everywhere: lay one down to change her diaper (because the first time I didn't, she peed on my comforter), one in the bassinet, one in the Pack and Play, one on the sofa where I nurse (because there's been barfing there too).  And then I have the little tiny ones too that I use to protect her sleeping wedge from barf.  So yeah, waterproofing is essential.  In fact, I gave up and went straight to a full-sized fitted rubber sheet that I put over the sofa after she barfed on it the third time...  And I eventually bought an inexpensive waterproof mattress pad for my bed after her diaper leaked on my husband's side where the crib-size pad didn't reach.

**  I use waterproof pads, which are essential, but they need to be laundered.  I have them all over the house, and unless you want to buy so many of them that you can replace them frequently without doing laundry every day...here's another tip.  I bought disposable waterproof pads too, like the "chucks" that you get in the hospital.  They are the Assurance brand and can be found in the store near the Depends section.  The pads are big, like 2 ft x 3 ft, so I cut them down into four equal rectangles.  Then I put one of them under baby's bottom while changing her diaper.  Thus her whole body is lying on a cloth waterproof pad, but her behind is on a disposable pad too.  That way if you get an explosive poop or if your baby manages to pee while you are switching from the yucky diaper to the clean one -- which amazingly happens quite frequently -- then you can just throw away the disposable pad instead of having to wash the whole cloth pad.  And if baby doesn't mess on the disposable pad, I keep it and re-use it for the next time.  I've only used one box of Assurance pads so far in her entire life, so I consider it money well spent to avoid extra laundry and to avoid having to buy a boatload of cloth pads.

** In lieu of a baby book, one idea that my mom did on her third kid was just get a blank calendar and then write the milestones in.  Like just write in the box for the day "first smile", "slept through night", etc.  That way you can go back and see the timeline, but it doesn't take as much effort as an elaborate baby book.  I do this and write lots of notes, because you will easily forget when your kid slept through the night, etc.  I write down her sleep habits most days because after three bad days, it can easily feel like weeks since she's slept well and I have to go back and look longingly at when it was that I last got four consecutive hours of precious sleep...

** CVS drugstore makes a generic version of clear Desitin that I like.  At my Walmart all I could find was the white stuff in a generic version, which works fine but it gets everywhere.  The clear stuff is better, especially during the summer when they are wearing shorts.  It's also less thick and pasty.  Anyway, it's a little money saver if you normally buy generics.  It's $6.49 vs $7.99 for Desitin.  And I've already used three bottles of the stuff in two months (though I am a fanatic about preventing diaper rash; the doctor even complimented me at her appointment that she has no signs whatsoever of any rash.  But I change her diaper constantly and put ointment on every time...probably a little overkill, but oh well.)

** Charmin Sensitive with Aloe is the only way to go at the end of pregnancy and beyond.  When you're wiping as frequently as you have to at the end, and especially if you have an episiotomy, that is the only toilet paper for your sore lady bits!

** Don't buy too much of one size diaper.  I took advantage of a good sale and got 360 size 1 diapers, and I didn't make it through them before she grew out of them.  Just be mindful that bulk isn't always economical...and I change her diapers pretty frequently.

** For what it's worth, I like this nursing bra.  It has lots of support for being so inexpensive.  And don't buy too many bras while you're pregnant.  My ribcage got enormous while pregnant and I went from a 36 to a 42!  But I shrunk back to normal once the baby came out.  I have also dropped a cup size since the end of pregnancy.  I just took nursing tank tops to the hospital and wore those so that I could learn to nurse without lifting a shirt.  I thought that worked really well.

**  I got tired of sitting cross-legged on the floor with the baby and having a sore back, so I recently bought one of these Back Jack chairs.  I am hoping I like it for sitting on the floor playing with her.  So far I think it will help with my back pain.

** And finally, my bib tip.  At this age, I have discovered that I prefer terrycloth bibs.  My gal is a drooler, and she goes through at least four bibs a day.  She soaks them!  The plastic-backed ones or the "waterproof" ones that Carters makes are OK for keeping her clothes dry underneath, but they don't soak up much slobber and they are pretty stiff.  Cotton ones that generally come with outfits are acceptable, but they don't soak much either.  The terrycloth ones soak up a good deal of slobber, and they are soft enough to wipe her face with too while she's dribbling.  But the waterproof ones are the way to go for longer car rides, when she's just sitting in one positon, drooling and soaking her front.

Good luck!

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ITZBEEN

If there's one baby accessory I can't live without, it's my Itzbeen.  So much do I love this item that I will do an unpaid awesome review of it.  And I've gotten two other moms to buy them as well.

I have heard this product referred to as anal or controlling, but I think that's a misunderstanding of how I use the timer.

I love this paragraph at ThinkGeek:

It is sometime in the middle of the night; you and your new wee one are awake. Once again, it’s feeding time! But you can't keep your eyes open without toothpicks, and the only thing which will keep you awake is watching The Lord of the Rings (extended version, cast commentary on, naturally). Even as Aragorn is defending the Hobbits from the Ring Wraiths, you are fighting a battle of your own called deprived sleep infant stage. Eventually, your significant other will have the next set of duties and will ask what time the last feeding was. Unfortunately, "Right about the time Aragorn set that one dude on fire" will not work as an answer. Enter the ItzBeen Baby Care Timer.

After I had the baby, I couldn't think straight.  At all.  I was in so much pain and in such a daze of sleeplessness that I couldn't tell you my baby's name, much less when she last ate.  But all I had to do was click the button each time and we were tracking.  No need for guessing.  No need to use my brain.

The obvious reason I love this timer is that it prevents me from having to think, or do math against the clock.  I don't have to remember when she ate or when we started the feeding or which side to nurse on next or when I changed that gross diaper or how long she's been napping, or all of these things in tandem.  I just click click click all day long.

The less obvious reason I love this timer is because it really helps me troubleshoot.  If baby is crying, I can see she just ate two hours ago, so it's not likely she's hungry yet.  So I can try something different.  Or I see that it's been an hour and a half since she woke from her nap, and I'm pretty sure the crying is because she's getting sleepy again.  It has really helped me take note of her quirks and patterns.  I love it most for that reason.

And we have had the funny conversation in our house where my husband is holding the crying baby and asks me what's wrong with her.  I look at the Itzbeen and say, "According to my calculations...nothing.  Nothing should be wrong with her."  Heh.  In that case, she's probably just bored.

I love this item.  Seriously.  The only thing I would love more is if it could be made into a wristwatch so that I would always have it on me.  I get my exercise trekking back and forth across the house to fetch my Itzbeen.

Oh, and the company is great too.  My original Itzbeen went on the fritz when baby was 3 1/2 months old.  Some of the digital numbers weren't showing all their lines.  I shot an email to the address on Itzbeen.com to ask about a warranty, and they quickly mailed me a brand new one as a replacement.  So I recommend this product even more because of their fantastic customer service!

And right now I can see that my daughter is 58 minutes into her morning nap, so I probably don't have time to start watching LOTR, as I now have a funny hankerin' to do.

UPDATE:  Amy pointed out something in the comments that I ought to have mentioned.  The Itzbeen is only around $20, so it's an affordable gadget.  It's been worth every penny for me!

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July 12, 2010

WINNER'S CURSE

A link via Amritas:  Winner’s curse in the 2010 elections

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June 20, 2010

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

I set out our daughter's clothes today and my husband dressed her.  Later I noticed something...


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June 12, 2010

IF ONLY WE COULD ALL DIE THIS YEAR

Do I correctly understand that the government missed out on collecting over $2 billion in taxes from this man because of the 2010 lapse in the estate tax?

That is just the most fantastic story I've heard in a long time.  I have the stupidest grin on my face.

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June 01, 2010

THREE MONTHS



Today was our baby's three month birthday.
Which means we made her a year ago, tee hee.
This year I made socks instead of a baby...

Or did I...

I do find myself often thinking that I'd like to just go ahead and aim for the second one now, to get all the infant years done at once.  If life starts to get too cushy, I am not sure I'll want to go back to the beginning.

But I'm also not sure I want to take care of a baby while I'm pregnant.

I'm definitely sure that I don't have much say in the matter though, and we'll flip another heads whenever a heads comes along...

In the meantime, making us matching socks keeps me happy.

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May 23, 2010

AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM

I haven't followed the Texas textbook controversy very closely, but I find it interestingly absurd that people are debating whether we should include American exceptionalism in the curriculum.  What makes me snicker is the thought of Asian countries; to my knowledge, there is no debate in Japan over whether Japan is the greatest country to exist.  Nor in Korea, nor in China.  The idea that we are fighting over whether we should teach our children that the USA is #1 strikes me as funny, in a sad way.

If the debate in Texas were over the divine origins of American exceptionalism, that is whether the Founding Fathers were divinely inspired to embark on this American experiment or not, it would make more sense to me.  But I find it depressing that we're arguing over whether we should teach our children that the origins of our country were special, that unlike other countries around the world the US is not based on ethnicity or culture but on a unique idea that anyone can ascribe to.

The US is exceptional in that regard.  And no, Pres Obama, not in the same way that Greeks are.

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May 19, 2010

EVERYBODY DRAW MUHAMMAD DAY

I know it's awful, but that's not the point.  The point is that it's a generic depiction of Muhammad and I'm participating in today because I think it's important.  Let us not be cowed.

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TINGLE

I admit, I kinda got a tingle up my leg to see Rand Paul had won...

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May 14, 2010

RAW MILK

CVG sent me a link about the banning of raw milk.  Personally, I've never even given raw milk a thought, but I do care deeply about the Constitution.  And the umbrella of "interstate commerce" is really out of hand these days.

I love how all these little issues are cropping up to test the 10th Amendment lately, and they range from rightwing nutjob issues like the made-in-Montana guns to flaming lefty causes like medicinal marijuana or raw milk.

We're all being encroached on by the federal government, left and right.  Let the hippies drink their raw milk, for pete's sake.

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May 13, 2010

SMART PEOPLE

A great blog post via Amritas: The Smart People Crowd

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May 08, 2010

THE MOTHER'S BURDEN

My present for my first Mother's Day was that my husband would take over feeding our daughter during the night while I sleep.  In the guest bedroom, with earplugs in, to guarantee that I sleep through the whole night.  I have been looking forward to this for two weeks, and there have been times recently that I would've done anything to not have to get up during the night to take care of a crying baby.  I have been exhausted again of late and have been getting really excited about my first night free from responsibility.

Yet when I put her down to sleep tonight, I cried.  I will miss her during the night.

Such is the mother's burden.

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April 27, 2010

I AM SPARTACUS

Here's what I said yesterday only better: Jon Stewart Flunks His Spartacus Test
(And I don't think Stewart's bit was that bad...but the article has good parts.)

-- I'm back.  I feel like I should elaborate.  Stewart is right that Comedy Central pays the bills and has the right to censor whatever they like.  He's also right that the radical Muslims are the true enemy and can bleep themselves.  But...shouldn't we hold a bit of contempt for Comedy Central for caving?  Paying the bills or not, they took the cowardly route, and he kinda excused them.  He made the bigger point, but I can see where Jeffrey Lord thinks that the bigger I-am-Sparticus would have been for Jon Stewart to berate Comedy Central for not standing with Parker and Stone.

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April 26, 2010

EVERYBODY DRAW MUHAMMAD

After so many years, it's not surprising that South Park would have some hit or miss episodes, but the previous two episodes were fantastic.  Good for Parker and Stone for pushing the Islam envelope, and shame on Comedy Central for once again caving to pressure.  You have to beep Muhammad's name and black him out when he's wearing a bear costume?  Thanks for showing how deep the hypocrisy goes.  Buddha can do coke, and Jesus watches porn and poops on George Bush...but we can't even say the name Muhammad on TV anymore.

So a cartoonist declared May 20th "Everybody Draw Muhammad Day"...and then backed out when the idea went viral.

What a bunch of wimps we've become.

Free speech is easy to defend when it's uncontroversial.  All this hullabaloo about freedom of speech to criticize Bush's war or Obama's health care plan.  No one is threatening our freedom to do any of that.  We throw around "freedom of speech" for the frivolous things and like to pretend we're being brave by "speaking truth to power."  Oooh, your "free speech" might get some mean comments on your blog or make your co-worker ticked off.  But there is a real and growing threat from radical Islam that we've been childishly ignoring for far too long.  It is times like this that it's most important to stand up and defend the right of cartoonists to draw whatever satire they wish.  It's crucial to make a stand and say that we refuse to be cowed by ignorant barbarians who seek to threaten and murder others for holding different beliefs.  Or just for making a joke they don't like.

I'm drawing Muhammad here on May 20th.  The lady who came up with the idea for the day may have decided she's too scared to stand up for her values, but I think it's of the utmost importance for many people to band together and say that we're not going to accept this pandering to Muslims anymore.

And if I were Parker and Stone, I'd put Muhammad in every single episode from now on.

Man, I love those guys.

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April 19, 2010

THE SLIPPERY SLOPE OF RIGHTS

I'm learning the ropes of taking care of a baby, but I still don't get on the internet that often.  (Example: my friend said, "So how about that volcano business?" and I said, "What volcano?")  However, today I did read something that got my goat.

Via Mark Steyn, who says, "No matter how fast Obama Europeanizes America, you can't out-Euro the Euros": Vacationing a human right, EU chief says

The European Union has declared travelling a human right, and is launching a scheme to subsidize vacations with taxpayers' dollars for those too poor to afford their own trips.

Antonio Tajani, the European Union commissioner for enterprise and industry, proposed a strategy that could cost European taxpayers hundreds of millions of euros a year, The Times of London reports.

"Travelling for tourism today is a right. The way we spend our holidays is a formidable indicator of our quality of life," Mr. Tajani told a group of ministers at The European Tourism Stakeholders Conference in Madrid on April 15.

And this is the slippery slope of rights.  Once we believed that we only had "rights to action."  Now by declaring that we have the right to health care, we have fundamentally shifted to saying we believe we have the right to someone else's labor.  So where does it end?  Once you have the right to money from another taxpayer's pocket, who's to say it should end with health?  It's good for your health to be stress-free, and vacations help you relax.

So then they're a right too.

I find this slippery slope frightening...

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April 08, 2010

HEADS UP

In addition to the octopus photo, there was one other thing I was itching to do when my daughter arrived.



After too many times of flipping tails, we finally flipped heads.
She's our John Elway baby, our non-mutant child, our lucky head's up penny.

She's 100% here and 100% ours.



(Heh, I love the photo of us.  She's looking at me like, OMG no one told me my mom was a mutant...)

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April 06, 2010

THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD...

My husband is in DC for the funeral service for the soldier in his company who was killed on deployment.

We had an FRG meeting last week, and the unit provided details for the families who would be heading to Arlington for the service.  As I sat there holding my new baby, the baby who looks just like my husband, all I could think about was this soldier's wife.  His pregnant wife.  Pregnant with a little girl...

When I thought I'd go into labor before my husband came home, I had a meltdown.  I couldn't make myself go to the hospital.  I was packing my suitcase while weeping, in agony that things had not gone as I'd wanted them to go, that it wasn't supposed to be this way, that he was supposed to be here with me and for me.  I wanted to stay in complete denial and refuse to go to the hospital.  I felt deep in my bones that I just couldn't have that baby without him, that despite how capable I am, this was the one thing I couldn't handle on my own.

And I think of this woman whose husband won't be there at all when her baby is born, and I can't stand it.  I am sick for her.  Just sick.

I'm so thankful for my husband and child.

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April 05, 2010

MY NORMAL

I am knitting and watching Krauthammer.
I just wanted to document it because two weeks ago, I really and truly thought that part of my life was over.  I thought "me time" was a thing of the past.
I am figuring this out.  And baby is a napper, which is great.

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March 31, 2010

MYLICON

P.S.  I must be doing something wrong, because we've been using Mylicon and gripe water, and it doesn't seem to help.  Or her gas would be phenomenally worse without the two products...

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March 30, 2010

I GROK MOTHERHOOD

Reader TK told me a long time ago that my post on lasik was an "honest account of the procedure."  I thought I'd try to do that for the first month of having a baby too.

Oh, and as an aside, I can't tell you how happy I am that I got lasik now.  I can see my baby in the middle of the night to nurse.  That is worth any money I had to spend and any disappointment I previously felt with my imperfect results.

A year ago, my husband was at SERE school.  We decided that having a baby is my version of SERE: you don't grok it until you've done it.  No matter how much you think you mentally understand what it's like to be starved and beaten, until you go to SERE and experience it, you really can't grok.  That's how I feel about having a baby.  Sure I knew that labor would hurt.  I knew that babies cry and don't sleep through the night.  I knew that my life would get difficult.

I knew it.  But I didn't grok it.

The first days home from the hospital were rough.  And that's an understatement.  I remember weeping frequently.  Wandering around the house in a daze because I had had no sleep at all.  Topless, because my breasts were leaking both milk and blood.  Unable to sit, because my episiotomy hurt so bad that I couldn't sit upright without severe pain.

No one fully explains that to you when they say "being a mother is hard."  Or "childbirth hurts."

My husband remarked that a woman goes through the most pain she will ever experience in her life and simultaneously gets slapped with the biggest responsibility she's ever had.

No one could possibly have helped me grok the sense of frustration and failure I would feel when my baby is in pain, when she gets severe gas, when she projectile vomits several times a day.  How manic I would get, googling over and over to figure out how to breastfeed better so my scabbed and bleeding nipples would heal.  How to prevent and cure her gas.  How to help her calm herself when she's obviously tired but simply won't listen to me when I beg her to just close her eyes and sleep.

I have done this for one month, in a fog of pain and exhaustion.  I cannot believe how hard it is.  I can't believe that most of the women in my life have done this before me and survived.  Without constantly complaining about it.  Because that's what I want to do.

It's getting easier.  Or at least more predictable.  I am starting to distinguish her hungry cry from her tired cry.  I am slowly learning how to fix both.  I no longer panic when she barfs all over me at 1 AM; in fact, I have learned to burp her while standing in the bathtub for an easy clean-up.  And when I jolt awake in serious pain because of a blocked milk duct, I know what to do.  And I push through the pain and feed her because that's what mothers do.

I am learning to be a mother.  It's far harder than I imagined it would be.

And I am now smart enough to grok that it won't get easier, just different.

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