May 10, 2009


Charlie's best friend came to visit for the weekend.

AirForceDog showed up for wrasslin' and tomfoolery. He's got a few pounds and a lot more muscle on Charlie, so most fights end like this:

But Charlie gives as good as he gets. You can't imagine how disappointed I am that this photo isn't in focus:

It was a fun visit, but it made me content that we only have one dog.

We also sadly lost a pet this weekend. Our betta fish, honorifically named Bunker, passed away from old age. I had seen it coming for weeks now, and I'm glad I didn't have to help him along like I did my last fish.

He was a beautiful fish and his empty bowl makes me a little sad.

So it's Mother's Day, and it's been a little bitter for me to receive the blanket "Happy Mother's Day!"s that I have been getting at work this weekend. But I got an email today that made me feel better. It was from the de facto president of our knitting group, who is also childless.

Even if you have no children or grandchildren, to me, we are all mothers and grannies when we knit, crochet, quilt or sew our items to donate to preemies and babies.

Amen to that.

Plus, I have my own mother still, while others do not. I am grateful for that and am choosing to focus on that today.

I wrote cryptically about it when it happened, but my second miscarriage showed me what it means to be a mother.  My mother was right there in the bathroom with me, holding my hand, coaching me on, and even (close your eyes, squeamish people), reaching in to pull stubborn uterine lining out for me when I panicked.  She didn't ewww, she didn't rush to wash her hands, she just helped me and never made me feel like what I was having to go through was weird or gross.  It was amazing.  Either she would've had an excellent career as a nurse, or she was just being a mom.  No one else could've filled those shoes that day.  I got to see as an adult that I will always be her child and that she will always be there to help me.  And that mothers clean up bodily fluids for their kids whether they are 3 or 30.

I said I had a similar reaction when my father lent me his eyeglasses.  I have learned so much about parenting from my own parents in these recent years.  And every year, I just want to give my parents grandchildren on Mother's and Father's Day.

Happy Mother's Day, Mama.  I'm still working on getting you the biggest present of them all.

Posted by: Sarah at 10:10 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Aww Sarah, you made me weep. And God Bless your mother. That is motherhood. And you know, you don't have to birth a child to love it that completely. I hope for you that one day you will, but if not there are plenty out there who need someone who understands motherhood as well as you do.

Posted by: Ruth H at May 10, 2009 03:27 PM (hBAQy)

2 Your mom is the most awesome ever. With all the stress and unhappy things that you've gone through it is wonderful to hear that you have a mom who is there for you like that.

Posted by: Mare at May 11, 2009 06:57 AM (y9A8i)

3 *sniffle*  Yes, moms are there to help - whatever age.

I remember when I was a senior in HS and had a cartilage piercing in my ear... darn thing got so infected, (and I cleaned it ALL the time; it just wasn't meant to be). When I finally gave up, I couldn't get the earring out because it was so swollen, and it hurt so bad... I still tear up remembering how I just knelt there sobbing onto my mom's lap while she got that cursed (but pretty!) thing out and helped me clean it so it could start healing.

Moms get to deal with all the real-life, most vital stuff that keeps the world going 'round.  Motherhood is about *life*, whatever our situation.  And you've truly got a great, great mother.

Posted by: kannie at May 11, 2009 11:29 AM (S6srO)

4 ...and another "Amen!" to that quote from your knitting prez - the best phrasing I've ever heard is also from someone who hasn't yet had the opportunity for biological motherhood: "...we mother those we bear and those we are *willing to bear with*."  I think she was intentionally dualistic there... it's in our nature, not our situation.

Posted by: kannie at May 11, 2009 12:17 PM (S6srO)

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