When I was chatting with my husband last night, all I could think about was him. He's the one who's devastated that he's not coming home when he thought he would, and he's the one who's ten days longer from toilets, showers, kisses, and rangoons. I honestly was completely focused on his needs...until I was getting ready for bed and realized that all of my friends except one will be snuggling with their husbands this weekend. And I will have three weeks where I have no one to hang out with, no one to be sad with, and no one who still feels like there's a war on. Except for my one friend whose husband will stay as long as mine, and thank heavens I have her. She reminded me last night of what Tim called THE POWER, and she made me laugh that Bunker had told me not to count down on the same day that we realized the count would be different.

Oh, and Red 6 will be here. It sounded like fun to hang out with Red 6 for a week before my own husband got home, but now that I know there will be three weeks between their arrivals, it doesn't seem that fun anymore. On Monday I felt happy for wives whose husbands come home soon. I don't feel so happy for them today, but I am going to try to work on that. Even though mine will be the only soldier-less house on the block, I still will be waiting for the best soldier in the Army to come home. (Best white soldier, huh Kel?)

So I crawled into bed last night with a bowl of ice cream and finished State of Fear. It was a great book. And today is a new day, and my husband comes home in the middle of March. The old arrival date goes down the memory hole and we start fresh. If Tim could do it, so can I.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:45 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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When I lived in France, I developed an enormous crush on this boy at my school. I got all fluttery when he was around, I always tried to find a way to work him into conversations with my friends, and my eyes were constantly on him whenever he was in the hall. For four months, I turned into a mess of butterflies whenever he was around. And then one day he was gone.

I never even spoke to him.

I know nothing about this boy. I don't even know if he was French or an exchange student like me. I don't know what classes he was taking or where he lived or what his name was or anything. And by the time I had worked up the courage to even think about talking to him, he was gone. I have no idea what happened to him, but I never saw him again for the remaining six months of my time in France.

When I realized that my friendship with my husband was turning into something more than friendship, I knew I didn't want to make the same mistake twice. So I flat out told him one night, told him that I really liked him and that I was starting to think about him all the time, and asked him how he felt. He was quite taken aback, and that's when he gave his famous "well, I like you, but I'm not going to marry you or anything" line. He wasn't quite sure what to think, but he slept on it (for two weeks!) and finally told me that he wanted to be with me too.

That was five years ago today.

I still wonder about that boy in France. Maybe he was irritating, boring, or rude. Maybe he could've turned out to be a really special guy. I'll never know, but I'm grateful for the lesson he taught me. I wouldn't be with my husband today if I hadn't told him how I felt. I learned that taking a risk can be a beautiful thing.

I'll never forget that giddy moment five years ago, sitting on the floor in my husband's dorm room and deciding that we were going to give us a shot.

Greatest moment of my life.
I miss you, husband.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:20 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Dear Husband,

A song for you on this special day...

I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash

I choo-choo-choose you.

Posted by: Sarah at 07:47 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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365 days
215 letters
98 IMs
18 phone calls
2 halves of a broken heart

2-3 weeks until I see this smiling face again.

We're almost there, husband.
2 squeezes

Posted by: Sarah at 02:44 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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I said last week that our Rear D is doing a stellar job. Well, I just hit a stupid snag that opened up a whole can of worms.

I have Red 6's car. And his car keys, house keys, and cell phone. I check on his apartment, I get his mail, I help arrange his vacation plans, and I even have made hotel reservations for one of his soldiers. Whatever, I'm a helpful girl. But I realized at the FRG meeting that I need to be notified when he arrives in Germany because he won't be able to tell me himself. Each wife gets a call roughly six hours before her husband gets home, but we only get notified when our husbands arrive, not when other planes of our battalion's soldiers get in. So I asked to get a phone call when Red 6 arrives, so I can welcome him home, give him his car, and let him into his house.

And I got a nasty look like I was arranging something lewd.

Look, I know there are some skanky men and women around here, but I'm not doing anything gross, and it kinda stung that that was the immediate reaction I got. Especially when the Rear D already knows that I have Red 6's car because I had to pick up his registration from them last spring. After the initial condescending look and hesitation, I reminded them that Red 6 has no way of getting home or getting into his house unless I am there for him, and they agreed to call me. I was a little taken aback, but whatever.

I mentioned this story to my husband yesterday, just as a "check out what happened to me" sort of deal, and he went ballistic. My husband is not a ballistic sort of person. He got so mad that Red 6's company was treating me bad when I was doing so much for their own soldiers, and he said he was going to do something about it. Oh crap.

So I got a message from Red 6 today that he had talked to the husband and was mad too, that he had talked to the First Sergeant and told him to ream the FRL, etc, etc, etc. So now I've gotten someone in trouble when that wasn't my intention at all. Sure, I was a little peeved that someone insinuated that I was being a whore, but that's not the first time our close relationship with Red 6 has brought me that sort of treatment. He's my husband's best friend. That makes him my best friend. And if you think I'm gonna have an affair with someone who thinks chugging tobasco is a smart move, you're off your rocker.

The sad thing is that our most recent battalion newsletter called for "designated huggers", for wives to volunteer to come to the ceremonies and welcome home single soldiers, not just their own husbands. I thought it was a great idea, and one darling wife had a t-shirt made that says Designated Hugger. But if the Rear D is going to treat us like hookers when we ask to be informed of single soldiers' arrivals, then what's the point of asking for huggers? It makes no sense to me. Either they trust us to show our soldiers respect and admiration, or they ask us not to come. But don't ask us to be huggers and then smirk at us when we roger that.

I help Red 6 and his soldiers because I want to show all soldiers that I love and appreciate them. They all deserve to have someone there to pick them up and buy them a beer. I hate that I got leered at when I asked to do our best friend a favor, but I also hate that I got someone in trouble, because I don't want to look like the officer's wife went and complained she was being treated badly. Ugh.

Posted by: Sarah at 11:06 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 I, for one, would like to thank you profoundly for supporting the troops. As a former soldier, I know what it means to have that kind of support. It's a wonderful thing. When I read this, it put me in mind of something that happened to me at Ft. Bliss. I was attached to a training brigade there for a short time and was having some trouble with the higher-ups in command. I won't go into the details, but the situation made my wife so mad that she took it upon herself to call the Secretary of the Army! And she actually got to speak with him! You can only imagine the look on my First Seargent's face when I had to tell him to be expecting a call the next morning. Not fun.

Posted by: Drew at February 12, 2005 11:21 AM (zEdFo)

2 Don't hate that you might have gotten someone in trouble. Small minds like to assume that their 'moral superiority' gives them the right to question and 'spin' a perfectly innocent and legitimate request like yours. To say nothing of the fact that it's none 'o their damn business as to why you're asking to be notified. But I guess in the future, RED6 should probably clear all his personal arraignments thru the FRL so as not to cause them any discomfort as to what they think they know. I've served as a Family Readiness SNCO for a deployed unit and there is no excuse for the treatment that you've described. NONE-period.

Posted by: Top_S__USMC at February 12, 2005 12:47 PM (J7FBQ)

3 Perhaps you’re being too sensitive. After all, you did state: “I'm doing anything gross.” (Ha!)

Posted by: Bob at February 12, 2005 01:13 PM (Xbhpv)

4 Heh. Freudian slip fixed

Posted by: Sarah at February 12, 2005 09:57 PM (ZpuzV)

5 Sarah - you have a right to be angry about that type of treatment. Just remember - people project on you what they think of themselves... I think it's great that you are so open and caring - it is because of people like you that men like Neal have something happy to return to - a caring friend. Don't let the turkeys get you down. You did the right thing. You deserve more respec than they are giving you. Stand up for yourself. You are doing a good thing.

Posted by: Kathleen A at February 13, 2005 01:10 AM (vnAYT)

6 "And if you think I'm gonna have an affair with someone who thinks chugging tobasco is a smart move, you're off your rocker." ROTFL!

Posted by: Beth at February 13, 2005 01:14 AM (wAd1w)

7 Funny... when not in your shoes of course. Great that he is coming home. Are you expecting the husband home soon too? I remember that you weren't sure about that scheduled vacation :-) Cheers, Agnieszka Denver, CO

Posted by: Agnieszka O. at February 13, 2005 01:40 AM (MUNUu)

8 Sarah it's just like we always said in the Army. F**k 'em if they can't take a joke. You're doing good work. Keep doing it.

Posted by: David at February 13, 2005 11:45 PM (XWUew)

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I have a couple of things I want to blog about, but to be honest I've been feeling too grumpy lately. Today was just one of those days where everything went wrong: I drove to the next post to re-register our car and realized that I had left my ID in the pocket of my gym sweatshirt. So I drove all the way home and back, only to find that they close for lunch, which they failed to mention when I called for their hours. I got the car registered and then went to drop the dog's stuff off at my friend's house; naturally I had forgotten her key. And so on. Just one of those days.

But it's more than just that: I can tell that I am getting irritable with the end of the deployment. My husband has been on ten billion long-term missions before, but the one this week seriously irks me. I'm grumpy that 1-77 returned from Iraq after only 361 days. I nearly ripped some heads off last night at the FRG meeting; why would you attend a briefing on the redeployment schedule and then just sit there and loudly gossip with the wife next to you, making it impossible for others to hear the guest speaker even when she was using a microphone?

I'm finally tired of the deployment. Thank heavens I've only felt this way for a week; I can't imagine being one of those people who's felt this way all year.

They say PTSD and Combat Operational Stress can include loss of motivation, crying spells, and irritability. Chalk me up as a sufferer.

Posted by: Sarah at 12:36 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Lex: "Did it ever occur to you that maybe the hero of the story is Segeth?"
Best ending line in a Smallville ever.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:45 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Yesterday I came home from the middle school all fired up to write. I sat in on some classes, and I think 7th graders aren't as scary as I'd imagined. I had some observations that I was going to post -- nothing too riveting -- when I walked in the house to find a big old mess.

I'm still dogsitting, and the dog had gotten sick all over the rug. I couldn't even tell which end it had come from! I borrowed my friend's steam vac and cleaned it all up, and then dumped the dog in the tub for a bath. And immediately after his bath, he threw up again. It was a long, disgusting evening.

Lately my husband and I have had the worst timing. He logged online while I was wrestling with the dog in the tub. Two nights ago I heard him log on and I jumped up so fast I dumped my drink all over the recliner. Last week the phone rang six times during our ten minute chat.

I think we just need to talk face to face instead. And maybe wait a little while until we get our own puppy.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:27 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I started working at the education center at the same time as the counselor's aide and the ed tech. When the counselor's aide quit, the ed center chipped in and got her a $100 gift card. When the ed tech quit, the ed center got her an engraved silver serving platter. When I quit yesterday, I got squat. Nothing. Not even a card. And no one even came to my office to say goodbye.

To quote Daily Kos: "Screw 'em."

The socialists can keep their little ed center; I'm movin' on to greener pastures. Next Monday I am going to start sitting in on classes at the high school to get a feel for the teaching style, and then we go from there. I'm actually a little nervous about making the jump from college to high school, so hopefully sitting in on classes can put me more at ease.

Wish me luck.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:57 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 You are right: screw 'em. I am always shocked at workplace politics and cliques. It's like highschool all over again. But I am sure it didn't faze you then, and I'm glad it doesn't now. Not worth renting space out in your brain on them! Good luck!

Posted by: calivalleygirl at February 03, 2005 08:12 AM (mFHfO)

2 Sarah, The true measure of your time there is what you did for those you taught, not what the rest of the staff thought of you. That reflects poorly on them, not on you. Thanks for telling us. I'm sure some of them spy on you through this. Your attitude is the right one.

Posted by: Ruth H at February 03, 2005 10:51 AM (+z11q)

3 Bon chance, jeune fille!

Posted by: Sean at February 03, 2005 01:18 PM (37FD7)

4 Luck!

Posted by: Bugz at February 03, 2005 03:01 PM (uKuUC)

5 I'm sorry you didn't get a "proper" send off, but this just confirms you made the right choice. Good luck!

Posted by: Beth at February 03, 2005 06:43 PM (DEwIg)

6 Geeze... some people never grow up do they! It IS just like High School. Unfortunately you will very likely find the true HS students to be much nicer than that lot! Best of luck with your job change - I really hope you enjoy it!

Posted by: Teresa at February 03, 2005 11:11 PM (nAfYo)

7 Good Luck Sarah, Kalroy

Posted by: Kalroy at February 04, 2005 12:18 AM (i9w6W)

8 Unfortunately your co-worker played her foolish, immature games right up to the end. She is the loser, not you. This only proves that you made the right decision. You have always done well in every job or endeavor you have taken on. You always give more than 100%. This is no different. You can leave with your head held high and know that you worked hard and touched a lot of lives in a positive way. Love you, Mama

Posted by: Nancy at February 04, 2005 12:58 AM (YuW6k)

9 What your co-workers think or don't think is nothing next to what you have done for so many people who came to you for help. You have made a difference. Good on ya. And best of luck in your new job; they're lucky to have you.

Posted by: oldcontroller at February 04, 2005 12:58 PM (hhiiF)

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For some reason tonight, when I looked out at our piles and piles of snow, the phrase "now is the winter of our discontent" came to mind. Google helped me find this translation of Richard III, which had me in stitches.

When BG Hertling said that the last month of the deployment would be the worst, I really didn't believe him. I thought it would be just like any other month, but I have eaten my words. This past week has been excruciating. Theoretically, my husband comes home in exactly one month.

And now is the winter of my discontent.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:37 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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My husband wants a dog. He's wanted one for a long time, but I've been dragging my feet. Dog-owning is a lot of responsibility, and it leaves little room for weekend trips and spontaneity. I have spent a fair amount of time this year dogsitting, and it requires a good deal of work and patience.

I watched my friend's dog for a month at Christmas, and I got him back when she went home for her brother's funeral. I think her dog thinks I'm his new owner. This is the fourth time I've watched him, and he's finally settled in. He doesn't follow me around four inches from my feet anymore. He doesn't beg to sleep with me anymore. And all of a sudden I am more OK with having a dog.

My husband and I spent a long time disagreeing on breed: he wanted a big dog and I wanted a medium-to-little dog. He put his foot down at "yippy" and I put my foot down at "shedding." We found a breed we can agree on, and the breeder near our house will even have a litter of Tibetan terriers sometime this spring.

In a few months, we might be the proud owners of something this cute:

Any advice for first-time dog owners?

(By the way, if looking at photos of new puppies makes you as happy as it does me, then check out this site.)

Posted by: Sarah at 04:13 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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1 I just posted a picture of my new puppy! (pick him up next week) Being a first time all by myself have to train and such owner I know what you're saying. I'll send you any of the stuff i get. I wanted a smaller, non-yipper that doesn't shed also. I'm getting a Shih Poo - cross between shih tsu and poodle. No shedding and I'm told min. yipping. I think you made the right choice.

Posted by: Tammi at January 31, 2005 07:55 AM (HaRi0)

2 Ohhh, he's cute!

Posted by: Sarah at January 31, 2005 09:27 AM (gc0Zn)

3 Shih Tzus are very nice. They are medium small, don't shed much, and not very yippy. Plus are cute.

Posted by: Tom at January 31, 2005 10:37 AM (3aIPU)

4 ::sigh:: I have evil friends. (not really, it just sometimes seems that way LOL) Last year I lost both of my cocker spaniels. One was 14 and one was 15. I swore up and down I didn't want another dog, it just hurt too much to lose them. Two weeks ago, one of my friends sent my hubby pictures of a darling Australian Shepard pup. She is now laying at my feet, chewing on a "kong ball" Hubs won't be home for another 4 1/2 months, so he gets daily puppy pictures, and I get house training duty.. Actually, she's darling, and silly and a lot of fun, but I forgot that having a puppy was like having a toddler in the house. Some tips. Read as much information on the breed as possible. Find an online message board and talk to as many owners of the breed as possible. The more you know about your breeds traits and instincts, the better it will be for both of you. It's much easier to work with an instinct that it is to work against it. Crate train. I can't emphasize this enough. I used to think it was "mean" to put dogs in a small space at night, I was sooo wrong. Crates become their den, a place of their own. They feel safe. Crates are also a huge help with house training, as most dogs won't soil in the place they sleep. Our pup freely goes in and out of her crate during the day, it's where she goes when she's sleepy (or when she's stolen a toy from our older dog, and wants to hide it..LOL)At night, she climbs in and I shut the door. Baby gates are also helpful if there is an area of the house that is off limits. I don't like her to have free run upstairs since I am downstairs all day. Other than that, lots of love, lots of chew toys, lots of patience, lots of praise and lots more love..

Posted by: Tink at January 31, 2005 12:40 PM (S6VXg)

5 Sarah, As an owner of several Yorkies, considered by many to be yippy, let me tell you terriers are terriers, some may be yippy some may not. All are intelligent, lovable, happy companions. As long as the name ends in terrier they are pretty active dogs. And any dog that has a coat is going to shed. If it is a coat with an undercoat it will shed more and seasonably, that is just the nature of being a mammal. Hair gets renewed. But some are worse than others. I think your choice of a dog is very cute but be prepared, it is a dog, it will shed and it might yip. And listen to Tink, crate train. I never did but my dogs are spoiled and in a thunderstorm think my head is the best place to be. My sister's yorkie on the other hand, crate trained, thinks a crate is a nice place to be and a refuge in the storm. Good luck with the puppy.

Posted by: Ruth H at January 31, 2005 01:12 PM (yHlVl)

6 Sarah - I've been delaying getting another dog for 2 yrs. As you know I have a Maltese but to be honest she's not a yipper but she is vewwwy needy and almost obsessive compulsive on the licking. But in trying to quell my desire for another dog I keep checking out a kennel here in MN that whose specialty is mixed breeds. They try to breed for the best of two breeds. Ex. eliminate the hip dysplasia or hair shedding. You might want to take a look they have labradoodles, schnoodles...etc. http://www.mixedbreedpups.com/ They do business nationwide. I myself am looking for a repeat of my last dog who died after 15 yrs. She was a bigger cockapoo (28 lbs). But I'm even looking at some of the pups who are up to 50lbs. I still have no idea when or which I'll get but this mixed breed definitely has appeal.

Posted by: Toni at January 31, 2005 02:42 PM (SHqVu)

7 Definately crate train. Works like a charm. But, depending on the pup, be ready for a few nights of crying if they're insecure. DO NOT paper train unless you want the dog messing in the house for the rest of its life. If you paper train in expectation of putting the pup outside later, it will be much harder.

Posted by: Drew at January 31, 2005 08:42 PM (zEdFo)

8 Does this mean I'm going to be a grandma?!?! Mama

Posted by: Nancy at February 01, 2005 02:05 AM (YuW6k)

9 Congrats!!! We have four mini Dachshunds. They are yippers but I love them. Well this won't be a Lewis!! They are adorable. You will have fun. They grow up quicker than childern and they don't talk back. Good luck. It was fun meeting you. Keep my baby girl in line. I'm glad she has such wonderful friends. Cindy French.

Posted by: Erin's Mom at February 01, 2005 09:31 AM (648pO)

10 Agree on crate training, baby gates. Definitely understand your hubby's point of view re: tiny dogs ;-) I have some somber advice, too, though. We got 3 (I know, I'm crazy) lab puppies, and one passed away at about 4 months old -- very hard on me and the wife. He had some problems with worms, and though he seemed to be responding well to treatment, they had damaged his intestines enough to kill him eventually. Deworm early and often. Also, and I'm not sure this actually had anything to do with it, but better safe than sorry -- unsupervised outdoor playtime, even in a fenced yard, should wait until they've got all (and I mean *all*) their shots. I've had a good experience with "pet insurance" -- basically, it amortizes the cost of puppy care over the first year of their life, and you save quite a bit over "retail". We miss our lost little boy, but we've still got his brothers to keep us company. Good luck with you new family member.

Posted by: James at February 01, 2005 05:38 PM (QvU5o)

11 I have only owned a few dogs, but my mother-in-law is a breeder (big dogs - long hair, would not meet your wishes! www.terv.com) - and crate-training is a definite MUST. Dogs like knowing they have a safe place. We once had a dog go Through the screen door in a rush to get to his crate!! The worm advice is good, too - and find a vet who doesn't charge an arm and a leg for shots and stuff. One of the books I like the best on raising puppies is "How to Raise a Puppy You Can Live With". I suggest reading it through before you get the pup, and then going back through the appropriate places as the puppy grows. They all have phases, just like kids - and this book is pretty good at helping you recognize and deal with them! I'm envious - that little duffer looks like a fun breed :-)

Posted by: Barb at February 02, 2005 01:24 AM (g9qHI)

12 My mother-in-law has a Tibetan Terrier, they are really cool Dogs. They learn very well and are friendly, I don't know if you have kids but these dogs are great with them. The only issue I have ever had with the dog is that he doesn't like my wifes Pekingese and attacks it every time they bring him over. Love the blog by the way, just found it.

Posted by: RavenLike at February 02, 2005 12:44 PM (6WUT+)

13 My wife Abigail and I picked out our new dog "Bruce" from the animal shelter here in Portland, OR. He was listed as a "Mastiff Mix", and he is a dear, loving, protective, and intelligent dog. Although there is something to be said for looking at breeds, Abigail and I had very good luck looking at dogs instead. When I was trying to figure out what kind of dog Bruce was, I looked at a lot of mastiff web sites. The best breeders I saw were at this web site: http://www.boxer.bigstep.com/businesspartners.html;$sessionid$1K4WJHQAAAIX1TZENUEUTIWPERWRJPX0 They have a dog called a Nebolish Mastiff that looks to be a great "large dog" without the shedding and hip problems that plague the standard purebreeds. I emailed them and their response was very good. They value the health of the dogs over the purity of the breed; since I am not inviting a breed to share my home... I love having a large dog with a strong protective instinct. I am working at getting back into the Naval Reserve and I had to have a dog that would protect my wife when I am deployed. I know it is a worry to have around a dog that is large enough to knock you down; but if the dog can't knock you down, he can't knock down a bad guy. Tip: Talk to a good vet, and ask the vet for the name of the best obediance school in the area. Then take your dog to obediance training from puppy training through at least intermediate. Trained dogs are happier, smarter, and much less damaging to the furniture, regardless of size.

Posted by: Patrick Lasswell at February 03, 2005 06:41 PM (It1Ci)

14 Looks like everyone got the crate training rec in before I saw this *grin* and Patrick is right - do obedience classes... dogs actually love them because you are giving them your undivided attention for that time. We had a Border Collie for 17 years... she was wonderful and I miss her so much. We aren't going to get another dog at least for a while, but she was well trained and the sweetest thing ever. I hope you have as much success with your new puppy!

Posted by: Teresa at February 03, 2005 11:08 PM (nAfYo)

15 Well, crate training is MUST no matter what kind of dog you get... We are partial to showing and breeding terriers - Soft Coated Wheatens and Tibetan Terriers... we raise them in the house and by the time they leave, they are crate trained and ready to love. Crates give you and the dog piece of mind that they can't get into too much trouble while they are in there and everyone is more happy when all interaction is good.

Posted by: Earl at February 09, 2005 02:45 PM (oAGpF)

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My grandfather died 36 years ago today. I really wish I had had the chance to meet him. Based on my mother's stories about him, he's always struck me as an Atticus Finchy man, which is someone I can really see myself liking. He died when he was merely 56; thus turning 56 was a sobering experience for my mother. He died when my mother was only 21; thus turning 21 was a sobering experience for me, imagining the pain of losing my own dad. I remember talking to my mom on the phone on 19 January that year when I was living in France, and I asked her if she misses him. "Every single day," she replied.

Both of my mother's parents are gone now. I can't imagine not having parents.
I'm thinking of you today, Mama.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:29 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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It's cruel and unusual to ask a woman whose husband has been gone for over eleven months to describe who is hot. At this point, everyone is. The joke among my friends is that while our guys were in Kosovo, one wife thought the German fix-it guy was attractive, prompting Oda Mae to let out a loud guffaw. Our radars get all goofed up after this long. When you start to think the German rent-a-cops who check our IDs at the gate look good, it's time for the end of the deployment.

So you'll forgive us wives if we squeal a little too much when someone suggests watching Tombstone. Or when we get together to watch American Dreams just for the young man in Vietnam. Or when our hearts stop at the name Sam Elliot. Every movie star looks handsome when your husband is gone. (And sometimes the SSG at the MP station does too.)

John Hawkins is right that something in our psyche can trigger attraction. I could look at Barry Pepper all day long because he reminds me of my 8th grade boyfriend who died in a car accident. My father looks like Christopher Reeve, my brother looks like Robert Redford, thus those two actors have always held a special place in my heart. I always tease Red 6 that he looks like Yul Brynner, which is very lucky for him. My husband doesn't look like an actor, though he does bear an uncanny resemblance to He-Man.

So what makes a man attractive? Allah was partly right that women work "within a framework", though my framework doesn't include height or hair color: dress any man as a cowboy and he doubles in hotness; dress him as a soldier and it triples. (See here: good, better, best) I'm not a sucker for a uniform -- the UPS guy doesn't do it for me -- but I am a complete sucker for cowboys and soldiers.

Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. So very hot.

The company commander sent home a CD full of photos, including one that stopped my breath: my husband, with his pistol on his thigh and a cigar in his lips, squinting into the sun on a blistering, dirty day in July. Now that's hot.

(this post prompted by RightWingNews, on the debate between Michelle and Allah over Teri Polo's Playboy spread)

Posted by: Sarah at 05:25 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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1 If you're a Sam Elliot fan, you need to see him in "Gettysburg" (if you haven't already)

Posted by: David Foster at January 19, 2005 09:45 AM (S8xwy)

2 Oooh, no, I haven't. Thanks for the tip!

Posted by: Sarah at January 19, 2005 10:07 AM (SzTQh)

3 Sarah, I've always thought your husband looked like Rick Schroeder, from NYPD Blue, both as a child and as an adult. I've told him this, but he doesn't see it. Don

Posted by: Don Walter at January 19, 2005 10:28 AM (oTgvM)

4 Sam Elliot was born 100 years too late. The man belongs in the wild west.

Posted by: mdmhvonpa at January 19, 2005 11:08 AM (/D3gv)

5 Yeah, I see that! Rick Schroeder is a pretty decent comparison. The husband's cuter though. I have his photo as my desktop at home, and I swear he gets better looking with every passing week. I wonder how I managed to marry the handsomest guy on the planet.

Posted by: Sarah at January 19, 2005 11:43 AM (mg16c)

6 Elliot as Sgt Major Basil Plumley in "We Were Soldiers"; Ia Drang, standing by Gibson's Col Moore popping off rounds from his .45 cal pistol. Every boy in America ought to want to grow up to become Sgt Major Plumley. Jim

Posted by: Jim Shawley at January 19, 2005 01:35 PM (CnYsu)

7 Well, I'm certainly all "hot and bothered" now... I have to admit I've never really gotten "into" Westerns as an extertainment form, but I've always enjoyed them. And I've always found men with confidence, courage, and a high level of physical/mental skill VERY attractive. It's interesting to note that the older I get, the sexier I find confidence and well-applied skill/knowledge...I'm sure there's some serious developmental psychology theory that explains that.

Posted by: Beth at January 19, 2005 03:37 PM (DEwIg)

8 When I first saw you linked to Kim DuToit, I thought you meant Kim DuToit was hot :0

Posted by: Tom at January 19, 2005 03:49 PM (3aIPU)

9 Nothing against Kim -- he does look awful cute pointing that rifle -- but his two snipers are tip top!

Posted by: Sarah at January 19, 2005 04:07 PM (iMbx+)

10 I actually met Elliot in the club/former O'club at Ft Hunter-Liggett (an old tanker training ground) where they filmed, "We Were Soldiers". He's not that tall, lol. Here's to the second honeymoon. Have a couple bottles of champagne in the fridge, and some brie. It will come in handy.

Posted by: Casca at January 21, 2005 09:08 PM (cdv3B)

11 I LOVE your taste!!! I have a picture of the Marlboro Man 8x10 that I printed out on my refridgerator. The CO and XO's wives were a bit surprised when I told them I had that photo there was because I thought he was hot. I think a polite "Oh." was the response. I also LOVE Tombstone. I went to Tombstone a couple of years ago solely because I saw the movie. I keep trying to get my husband to wear a long black duster and hat, but he doesn't go for it. I mentioned in a previous post my husband is deployed. He has been gone for 11+ months. Right about now, all the Marines on this base are looking pretty damn cute. I think what makes a man "hot" these days could be their sheer masculinity (not to be confused with "macho"), their self confidence, their love and respect for their wives and children, and ok...the uniform does it too.

Posted by: Amy at January 22, 2005 04:22 PM (I3JBZ)

12 I am an English Lady trying to find some contact with Sam Elliot,I have written to him at an address I found on the internet before Christmas, and I have also written to an agency also off the internet. We get very few of his movies in the U K. I have received no reply to either of my letters. The reason I wrote to Sam , was, because he is a dead ringer for my yougest son.I don't usally make a habit of writing to celebrities, but I relly enjoy his acting talent. I would love to talk to someone. Pauline

Posted by: pauline coulson at April 03, 2005 12:44 PM (N1vDN)

13 Howdy! Who ever is out there who might no how I can get a message to Sam Elliot. I worked with him on the TNT Gettysburg Production and have a question on an item I gave him on the set. Thanks, Fess

Posted by: Fess at June 24, 2005 03:40 AM (+yTQj)

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Today was just one of those days. If it had been my first day on the job, people would've really questioned my abilities. For starters, it was the first day of classes, which means an 11-hour shift. So already I start out exhausted, knowing I'll be there until 1900. Around lunchtime, I had this military document in my hands, and sixty seconds later it was missing. I tore the office apart for five minutes and finally found it under my desk. And the day just got goofier after that. I kept forgetting what I was doing halfway through each task, and I kept asking students to repeat themselves. I introduced the English class as the biology class. I signed someone up for two classes on the same day. And, to top it all off, I left work and went the wrong way down a one-way street. As I was driving, I just shook my head, knowing how representative it was of my state of mind today.

I need a drink and a John Wayne movie.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:39 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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We paid off our car yesterday, so now I feel like money is burning a hole in my pocket. All of a sudden I have an irresistible urge to buy something I've wanted for three years. What do you think, husband? It could be a Quitting My Job present, or an Almost Done With The Deployment present, or a 5th Anniversary present (coming up in February), or a Gosh You're The Best Wife In The World present. Right? I've almost convinced myself I deserve it.

Today I'm sick. I can barely put out the energy to sit here at the computer. And Oda Mae is a doll: she just brought me gatorade, ginger snaps, and Newsweek. What a gal.

Posted by: Sarah at 06:32 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 Ooooh, chrome! If you get that, you'll need a stainless steel sink, fridge and dishwasher ... oh, and a gas oven/range too! Get well soon too.

Posted by: mdmhvonpa at January 08, 2005 11:30 AM (yWoIE)

2 You are gonna laugh, but my father gave me that (in white enamel) for Xmas when I was 11 years old...with all the attachments, including the meat grinder...fun machine. Those machines kick ass...you'll just laugh at other people with their food processors. It has an awesome bread hook, you'll never need to kneed bread again. It's really one of those tools that make cooking so much easier. Oh, and the best thing about them: they never go out of style. I mean, mine is now 15 years old, and not only still looks new (the enamel work is great), it still works like new. Enjoy!

Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at January 08, 2005 01:42 PM (KRZ8N)

3 Married men everywhere suddenly snarl at mdmhvonpa's suggestion, although it is incredibly accurate. Paying off the car...that does call for a celebration. This is the last month on the Blonde Woman's car note and it feels great. Congratulations

Posted by: Cerberus at January 08, 2005 02:52 PM (nzIoS)

4 Sarah, Forget it. I have one. I envied everyone who had one. I've had mine for 11 years and wish everytime I use it that I had not given my daughter my old Sunbeam Mixmaster. (and she is not about to trade back!) It was chrome, worked fine, I just thought Kitchen Aid was the place to be with mixers. The kitchen aid is very heavy, hard to move around and the bowl does not turn like the old Mixmaster, you have to stop the thing and scrape the bottom VERY OFTEN. Sure it has a dough hook but you can get the others with dough hooks now. It has all the fancy attachments, but if you are not farming how often does a person actually need them? Then there is the matter of storage of all the "Things". I told my husband and kids years ago, no more kitchen things unless you build the room to keep them in. (Not that anyone listened!) I don't want to rain on your parade but bigger isn't always better. I give it thumbs down, there are better ones out there. My credentials are that I have been keeping house for 46 years. Good luck.

Posted by: Ruth H at January 08, 2005 04:08 PM (AJ8pn)

5 Here is the link to the best, in my opinion, it comes in a sliver and chrome. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/stores/detail/-/kitchen/B0001NRWDY/qid=1105215070/sr=2-2/ref=pd_ka_b_2_2/102-8138343-5083307

Posted by: Ruth H at January 08, 2005 04:15 PM (AJ8pn)

6 I bought my Bride a Kitchen Aid for Christmas back in 95. It is simply the best fool kitchen implement I have ever had (and I think it is the ONLY gift that my Bride actually likes). IT ROCKS! If my Bride were to pass away I think I would marry it. It just ain't possible to have a mutually fulfilling and productive relationship with a kitchen with out it. Oh, and just to keep excitement alive in the relationship...you've gotta get the accessories! R/ Ed

Posted by: Ed & D at January 08, 2005 10:58 PM (yBNXx)

7 I ought to give you MuMu's old mixer. It's an antique and would look really cool with the decor in your kitchen. But then, I also think an "Almost done with deployment or Gosh, Your the best wife" present would be nice too. Your mama BTW, good to hear from you, Oda Mae. I don't know if you've been gone, but I've sure missed you in the comments section!

Posted by: Nancy at January 09, 2005 12:51 AM (YuW6k)

8 I've been to the States for Christmas and just got back last week, Nancy. I had a GREAT time. Hope the ginger snaps helped, Sarah. Although I personally enjoy the flu/cold every now and then. Is it politically incorrect to say I welcome the chance to sleep in and take drugs that make me sleep ALL DAY? Too bad you wanted to go the healthy route. Hope you're feeling better.

Posted by: Oda Mae at January 09, 2005 03:27 AM (68dla)

9 I have one and I love it. When I make a major purchase, I check on epinions.com and if the product gets 4 or 5 stars with a good amount of reviews, then odds are you will be getting a good item. Your desired products gets 5 stars!!! http://www.epinions.com/KitchenAid_Stand_Mixers_KA_KSM150PSWW_Small_Appliances/display_~reviews Might as well get one good mixer instead of going through 3 bad ones.

Posted by: Amy at January 09, 2005 05:39 PM (9iqoN)

10 Don't try to justify why you need/deserve it. Just tell him the sort of yummy treats you'll make with it. We men are easy to manipulate that way.

Posted by: UML Guy at January 09, 2005 11:15 PM (K6X/f)

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I'm having a weird moment of conflicting feelings: Monday is the last day I can send mail down to my husband in Iraq. Those of you who've been following me for the past year know that I write my husband as frequently as possible. I am about to send letter #180 on Monday -- which comes to roughly one letter every other day -- and then we'll be done. In a weird sense, I am sad to see the end of letter writing.

My husband always teases me that I talk too much when he's trying to go to sleep. I've never been able to stop my mind from spinning, so marriage was so exciting for me: I finally had someone to talk to death so I could try to fall asleep. I substituted letter writing for talking this year; I would write my letters right before bed to try to clear my head. What am I going to do for the next two months?

I can't believe this deadline is making me sad; the last day to send mail means they're coming home soon! But the feeling is bittersweet, because I've really enjoyed writing letters this year. I've enjoyed finding good articles and funny cartoons and romantic cards to send. I've enjoyed yammering on about dumb crap that happens at work or Matrix: Revolutions (Heh, look what I found: Did you know there are people who really believe in that stuff?) I've enjoyed making my husband get more mail than anyone in his platoon.

Red 6's fiancee leaves for Iraq next. I guess I'll have to concentrate my efforts on her now.

Posted by: Sarah at 08:40 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I turned in my final application packet today, so I'm getting excited to move on to a new job. However, today has made me feel sad about leaving. During my shift today I had two different students heap praise on me for explaining our programs clearly, for helping with financial aid, and for making sure they completely understood the application process. One said that she had talked to another representative and had come away thoroughly confused; the other even wanted to know when I would be teaching next and asked if I would consider tutoring her if I couldn't be her English teacher. This is after knowing me for 20 minutes. I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, only to say that it makes me sad to leave these students. My teaching experience has taught me ways of explaining things so that everyone can understand, and it's also taught me to read faces and know when someone is lost. I'm also used to dealing with non-native speakers, so I always have success helping our Spanish-speaking students, even though I don't speak a word of Spanish. I want to make sure that every student leaves our office with a complete understanding of the education system and process overseas, and I'm glad when students notice that I work hard to make life easier for them. I will be sad to leave that aspect of the job.

Posted by: Sarah at 10:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Off to the movies we shall go
where we learn everything that we know
cuz the movies teach us what our parents don't have time to say.
And this movie's gonna make my life complete
cuz Parker and Stone are sweet (super sweet).
Thank god AAFES is bringing Team America to this quiet little town!

Posted by: Sarah at 01:54 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Last year my resolution was to learn to be bemused. I think I've gotten much better at it.
My resolution this year is to learn to shrug.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:43 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I liked Bryan Strawser's 2004 recap so much that I decided to do one of my own. His will have nicer photos though.

Couples who survived OIF I have told me that timelines are hard to maintain after redeployment. They say it feels like they're missing a year of their life together, and that it's often confusing when they say things like, "Remember last year when we went to Spain?" when in fact it was two years ago. I wonder sometimes if when my husband gets home, 2004 will seem like a weird dream to both of us.

February brought OIF II and my husband's deployment to Iraq. On Valentine's Day, to be exact. We said our goodbyes and parted for 13 months.

In March I began teaching ENGL101 at the college and have taught four sections of English this year. The experience has been extremely rewarding, and I'm sorry to see it come to an end. But I've decided that once my husband gets home, I no longer want to work nights and weekends; we've been apart enough already.

In April I started hanging out with two girls who have been a blessing during the deployment. (You two know who you are!) They started reading my blog and we found we have much in common, and I have learned a lot from their life experiences. I found that there were people right here in my own backyard who shared my interests in politics and the military, and they've been a crucial part of my deployment experience.

In August, our good friend LT A was wounded in Mosul. He has been in and out of the ICU for months, and he finally went home for good a few weeks ago. He's doing everything he can to stay in the Army and stay combat arms if he can. LT A's injury was my first brush with heartache during the deployment. It wouldn't be my last.

In September, my mother came to visit. We went to France, Italy, and Flossenburg. In France, my relatives asked what I wanted to do there. I said I wanted to see the American soldiers at St. Avold. They said, "Oh, do Americans work there?" To which I solemnly replied, "No, I'd like to see the soldiers who died for us." I wanted to see Joe and Tommy.

In September my heart broke when one of our students from the college died in Iraq. In November it broke again when my friend's husband was killed.

In November my husband came home for R&R. It was wonderful to have him home, and it felt great to have life back to normal for a while. We watched in joy as President Bush was re-elected and as Yassir Arafat kicked the bucket. What a month!

At the end of November, my co-worker picked a fight with me. A combination of my irritatingly low salary plus the fact that I had been reading Atlas Shrugged prompted me to quit my job as a college registrar. I took the rest of December off to use up my vacation days, and I go back to work on Monday and officially give my notice.

Looking forward, 2005 will bring many changes for us. I am applying to be an English teacher at the high school, so we'll see how that turns out. My husband's branch detail came through too, so he'll be switching jobs. For those of you who don't know the system, officers can sometimes be "loaned out" to other branches for their first two years of their commission. My husband's control branch was Armor, which is how he ended up as a tank platoon leader in Iraq. But his basic branch, the job he would be in if he decided to stay in the Army, is...(drumroll)...Finance Corps. That's right, my husband is one of the illustrious 30 commissions per year to become a finance officer. It turns out that the Finance Detachment here needs him, so after the deployment he will be switching branches. Big changes on the horizon for both of us.

If all goes according to plan, my husband should be returning from Iraq in the middle of March. That will conclude OIF II and the year of our life that didn't really exist. I'm anxious to move on to 2005.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:38 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Sarah, Well done! I'm glad that you stole the outline Do have a wonderful 2005 - all of you are never far from my thoughts. Bryan

Posted by: Bryan Strawser at January 01, 2005 09:54 AM (csJBt)

2 Thanks for the link to the dissident frogman, by the way, I had never read his posts before - and the one you linked to is fabulous. Bryan

Posted by: Bryan Strawser at January 01, 2005 10:18 AM (csJBt)

3 Sarah - I loved your year in review. Boy - did you ever think you'd have these experiences both happy and sad. Life and it's twists and turns can bring such surprises. It's been a joy to be acquainted with you Sarah. Happy New Years to you and Russ.

Posted by: Toni at January 01, 2005 01:20 PM (FdSgw)

4 Yes, it is weird to figure out how long ago things were because of deployment. I generally just start with a year and a half ago when she left for Ft. Lewis and go from there. It is weird to at least mentally write off an entire year or more because of being apart.

Posted by: Beth at January 01, 2005 01:32 PM (xIxao)

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