Tim Blair's teaching the Iraqi bloggers Australian.
There's your cultural cross-pollination.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:45 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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My comments section has been growing and taking on a life of its own since the Atrios incident. Yes, I still read all of the comments. No, I don't eagerly look forward to them the way I did six months ago. I've got arguments and insults -- plus headaches and sleepless nights, believe it or not -- because of the comments section. Reader cjstevens wrote a long and interesting comment here, and Sander wondered why I even bother to have a comments section.

Sometimes I wonder myself.

I read this post on Instapundit today about comments, and I certainly understood. When I first started my blog and all those readers came over from USS Clueless, I couldn't keep my eyes off the comments section. When I started playing with my templates and thought I had deleted my first week's comments, I broke into tears (ask my husband; he thought I was nuts). I thought I needed to cherish every comment I had, because I certainly didn't think anyone would want to read my blog once the novelty of Den Beste's link wore off.

Eight months and 55,000 hits later, the comments section has begun to weigh on my heart. What was once a spot for Carla or Mike or Tammi to shoot me an encouraging word has turned into gnawing dread in my stomach whenever I see the numbers climb higher. Every time someone comments, I feel the need to think about his words for hours. I try to understand where he's coming from, what he's thinking, why he thinks I might agree with him, and what I could possibly say to get my point across and make him see what I see.

A friend advised me to blog for myself alone, not for the adoring (or loathing) public. But every challenge that I leave unanswered haunts me. Every comment I disagree with is hours of my thoughts diverted elsewhere, when I'm sure someone else has already had the same argument elsewhere.

I've thought about shutting the comments off and just doing this for myself. I've thought about leaving them and letting them take on a life of their own without my involvement. I've thought about giving blogging up altogether because sleepless nights and stinging wounds are really the last thing I need when half of my heart is in Iraq.

I'm just stressed. And beaten down. I'm struggling to remember what the point of all of this is...

MORE TO GROK:

cjstevens, it appears the director of Gunner Palace will be on CNN News Night with Aaron Brown tonight (30 Jun). See if you can check it out.

MORE TO GROK:

Please keep in mind that I'm not necessarily talking about "abuse" here. Yeah, the comments were pretty nasty there for a while, but mostly now it's civil. It's just so much for one brain to handle.

My alarm goes off at 0630. Lately I've been dragging it out until 0700. I read for an hour, get ready, go to work until 1600, come home, shovel some food in my mouth, and go to the neighboring post to teach for three hours. (On nights that I don't teach, I'm watching Band of Brothers, which isn't exactly light entertainment.) I return around 2145 and then read and blog some more. I rarely make it into bed by 2300 and I'm lying there thinking about Michael Moore and Iraq and elections until midnight or 0100. I just can't shut it off.

Writing my own posts keeps me occupied; thinking of how I would respond to five different people who all have different ideas about Moore and Iraq and elections is making me insane.

So I apologize if you're a commenter and I don't give you a direct answer to your comment. It doesn't mean I'm not losing sleep over it.

Posted by: Sarah at 10:35 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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1 I shut down comments some time ago (it may be close to a year now). My feeling is that the people whose opinions I value know how to get in touch with me. People whose opinions I don't value are free to get their own blog(s) and disagree with me.

Posted by: Nathan at June 30, 2004 10:57 AM (1vqm6)

2 You do what is right for YOU. I was just reading thru the latest batch of comments and found myself getting angry for you. Don't you worry - if we want to get an encouraging word to you, or agree with any of the wonderful things you say, we will find a way!

Posted by: Tammi at June 30, 2004 12:08 PM (Kw/tP)

3 Oh, dear. Well, I always like it when a blog has open comments, as they're often fun or interesting to read. On the other hand, I read the blogs that I do because of the blog's author, not because of the comments--and if the comments are causing you too much pain, then get rid of them! Blogging without comments is much better than not blogging (or less, or resentful, or whatever blogging) with comments. Also, you could always open comments on those posts you really want feedback on (with strict rules about staying OT), and since you post a way to contact you by email, it's not like you're entirely unreachable. Regardless of what you decide, I'll still be reading ya!

Posted by: Carla at June 30, 2004 02:40 PM (r5M6F)

4 It just sucks when mean people come to your house and harasss you! Maybe you can turn off comments for a week or so and see how it goes. I'm not sure how long I would take the abuse. Just don't let it stop you from blogging altogether - that would really suck!

Posted by: Beth at June 30, 2004 03:30 PM (Atb1y)

5 Noam Chomsky turned off comments after three posts. He has since turned them back on, but you pay for the privilege. Could be a good fund-raiser!

Posted by: Mike at June 30, 2004 04:37 PM (MqNKC)

6 Wow. I am sorry if my comments have contributed to your problems. I am not really used to this single POV blog stuff. I am a more used to free-for-alls like USENET, kuro5hin.org and slashdot.org. I have always thought that posting a topic for discussion was just the beginning...that the comments were alway where the interesting stuff was. I would encourage you to make people sign-up for account and verify their email. Consider comment moderation as a way of controlling the trolls and keeping the signal to noise ratio high. I don't know if MT supports that kind of stuff, but it is worth checking out. I am sorry if I ruffled any feathers along the way...I don't want to cause any problems. I, for one, will be moving along. Best wishes to you and your loved ones.

Posted by: rfidtag at June 30, 2004 04:46 PM (nO9sv)

7 The Democrats ideas died with Clinton --- They now have nothing to believe in, nothing to be for, nothing to promote --- They only have resentment, hate, anger, and attacks --- They have focused their lack of ideas into an attack on Bush. I always ask them what their for, what they beleive in -- they always answer with an attack on Bush --- I then ask if Bush was gone would everything be changed and everything be "milk and honey" -- It is at this point they curse and call me names This is why you hear nothing about Kerry -- This election is all about Bush --- ANYONE could be running from the Democrats and the result would be the same ---- The Democrat Party has died --- it is now the anti-Republican Party --- anything the Republicians are for, the Deomcrats are against -- this is why they can say and do anything as the have no principles, no ideas, they are only anti-Bush The death of their ideas policy and future leaves only hate and anger AND this is why they write as they do to you --- it is they way they respond to anyone they disagree with --- as proof,,, do they offer any suggestions for improvement or a different couse of action? Retreat and do nothing never solves any problem but it was the policy of Clinton --- and it is their policy too

Posted by: Mikeee at June 30, 2004 04:54 PM (HM88F)

8 Wowsa, quite a schedule, and here I am sleeping most of my days away and tending to ignore my blog on work days. Very impressive young Sarah. Kal

Posted by: Kalroy at June 30, 2004 06:03 PM (VU2TV)

9 Just found this about "hate posters" at Andrew Sullivans site EMAIL OF THE DAY: "Your article about William Raspberry's review of Moore's movie is right on target. Unfortunately, as I can tell you as a black person, Raspberry's irrational views are shared by many black people. I've never seen so many people who I always respected and always considered to be intelligent say so many crazy things, "Bush is the same as Saddam." "Saddam was not as bad as Bush." "The U.S. is the worst country in the world to live in." I kid you not. In the meantime, not one liberal or black person has anything to say about what Arabs are doing to black people in North and East African. The whole thing is very disturbing. Objections to Bush and the U.S. as a whole have gone way beyond any realistic criticsm of anything that is wrong. It's just hatred and a wish for destruction, after which I guess we will all live in brotherhood under Muslim rule! I just listen to people. I've given up trying to discuss it. People become enraged and start telling me I'm a self hating black, Uncle Tom, etc." - more feedback on the Letters Page. Seems alot of people are being attacked like you--- don't give up then they win

Posted by: Mikeee at June 30, 2004 06:23 PM (HM88F)

10 Sarah, Thanks for your acknowledgement. The Internet is a wild and wooly place, and "ruffly" subjects like politics tend to bring all sorts of characters out of the woodwork. The blogging atmosphere is particularly confusing. Blogging is a way of reaching out to a readership because it is so public. For this reason, it's natural to feel that any comment made on an entry is directed toward you. I commented this way at first, but then started commenting more in general terms toward commenters and yourself without necessarily expecting a response. But I'll be totally honest: I can't say I know how you feel, as I've never been in your shoes. Maybe that should be a sign to me to take it easy. I apologize. I can somewhat-understand your mention about the "numbers climbing higher," though... here, when the number of comments on an entry bumps into the tens and twenties, one can bet there's a fire raging within. I would actually recommend the idea of turning off comments entirely, or having them on only for certain posts. The latter option may or may not be possible depending on what you're using to run your comments. Or, perhaps you can make an account on a bulletin board site and link to it from your blog, directing commenters to that bulletin board. In terms of writing just for yourself alone, a journal/diary/whatever-you-want-to-call-it may be a good idea if you don't have one. At least, it seems helpful for me (yes, I admit to having a "diary"). Thanks for your information on Gunner Palace. The CNN NewsNight page (for some reason, I can't make a link to it) states that the show comes on at 10pm eastern time. Unfortunately, I won't be around at that time, but it looks like a transcript should be up some time afterward. I'm looking forward to it. Take care, Sarah... thank you for your patience with us.

Posted by: cjstevens at June 30, 2004 08:14 PM (FdYMc)

11 Better than Gunner Place but not a movie is the new book Generation Kill. The embedded author spent serious time with the forward Humvees, an interview with him is at the link below. He tells things in the interview that are not in the book, apparently, so it is a must-read. It is great because he thoroughly respects the soldiers personally, and reports only what they went through, but in the end it is an indictment on the horrible mess there. No wonder only 2percent of Iraqis view the US as liberators. http://www.laweekly.com/ink/04/30/books-donnelly.php

Posted by: bos at July 01, 2004 05:18 AM (hgLPQ)

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Posted by: dental insurance plans at June 25, 2005 03:10 AM (IhRtY)

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I thought this article on the morality of lying via Instapundit was very interesting. Food for thought.

As is this weary post on why blogging is taking its toll. I can relate; I spent two hours writing an email to a friend about why I will not be seeing Fahrenheit 9/11.

And I experience this regularly at work, on a military post of all places:

For some reason, it's OK to wax polemic for a half-hour at a time if you are dissing Bush, but non-Democrats must stay in the closet.

Posted by: Sarah at 09:50 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Reason Number Six Billion Why I Love Soldiers:

Specialist Rodriguez is one example. He broke his leg some months ago. He was offered the chance to deploy out of Iraq. He chose to stay. When his unit was deployed to Karbala, he cut off his cast. A person told him today that "we aren't paid enough to do that." Immediately, he and the other soldiers responded that it isn't about the money; that we do this for much more important reasons.

(Thanks, Tim.)

Posted by: Sarah at 06:02 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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When I was 15, I arranged a good surprise for my dad: tickets to a Three Dog Night concert in Peoria. I ordered the tickets and hid them behind my sock drawer (as if he would go snooping in my sock drawer anyway). The night of the concert, he drove us downtown while I directed from the passenger seat since I couldn't drive yet. As we rounded the corner onto Main Street, he looked at me and said, "We're not going to the strip club, are we?"

It was a great concert and a great night; I'll never forget my dad's confident look as he said, "The encore has to be Eli's Coming." I'll always remember that father/daughter outing.

Happy Birthday, Daddy.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:51 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 Would that be Big Al's? Not that I've been there or anything.......

Posted by: John at June 30, 2004 08:13 AM (crTpS)

2 Yes indeed I met a soldier here from Hoopeston, IL, who said he knew P-town because he used to go to Big Al's. That's a long drive...

Posted by: Sarah at June 30, 2004 08:27 AM (TLWyW)

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Ali threw a party when he heard of the handover:

Another friend approached me. This one was not religious but he was one of the conspiracy theory believers. He put his hands on my shoulders and said smiling, “I must admit that I’m beginning to believe in what you’ve been telling us for months and I’m beginning to have faith in America. I never thought that they will hand us sovereignty in time. These people have shown that they keep their promises.”

As Bremer said, "AÂ’ash Al-Iraq, AÂ’ash Al-Iraq, AÂ’ash Al-Iraq!"

(via Hud)

MORE TO GROK:

More thoughts on The Power of Scraps:

Historians will someday recognize June 28, 2004 as one of the most important days of our century. The United States, a nation of unopposable military might, invaded smaller, weaker Iraq and conquered it. We said we'd done it to rid the world of a murderous tyrant. Our detractors said we did it for oil, or for domestic political gain, or for any of a number of other contemptible reasons. We expunged the tyrant's government root and branch, then supervised Iraq's transition from the chaos of war back to a semblance of peace and order, despite many attempts to disrupt it. On June 28, we gave the Iraqi people freedom and autonomy, with a sincere promise of assistance should their embryonic republic encounter any difficulties it was still too young to handle.

We gave our blood and treasure to liberate Iraq from the villainy of Saddam Hussein. Then we gave our word that Iraq would be freed from our supervision as well. Then we stood by it. That is the significance of Paul Bremer's "scrap of paper."

(Via Bunker)

Posted by: Sarah at 03:30 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Tim offered a touching analogy for the handover to Iraq: "kinda like being tossed the keys to a brand new convertible and being told to take her out for a spin." Naturally, being the dork that I am, I thought of the scene where the Karate Kid got his license and he took off in the yellow convertible, with Mr. Miagi yelling BANZAI! as he drove away. I like the idea of being Mr. Miagi.

(Oh, and speaking of The Kid, this is hysterical.)

Posted by: Sarah at 11:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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My friend and I just went and raided our post's thrift shop for SGT Hooks' Operation Shoe Fly. Expect a box soon, Hook. If anyone else has old shoes in the closet or ten bucks to spend at the Salvation Army, Afghani children could use the footwear.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:42 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I find it hysterical that the DU nutjobs think that the transfer of sovereignty was moved up two days to distract people from Fahrenheit 9/11.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:52 AM | Comments (26) | Add Comment
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From Band of Brothers, Part 8: The Last Patrol:

I wondered if people back home would ever know what it cost the soldiers to win this war. In America things were already beginning to look like peacetime: the standard of living was on the rise, racetracks and nightclubs were booming, you couldn't get a hotel room in Miami Beach it was so crowded. How could anyone ever know of the price paid by soldiers in terror, agony, and bloodshed if they'd never been to places like Normandy, Bastogne, and Haguenau?

The more things change...

Posted by: Sarah at 05:04 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I thought Muslims weren't supposed to kill other Muslims...
This Muslim soldier went to jail for refusing to fight.
But these guys don't seem to have a problem with it.

Posted by: Sarah at 11:38 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I forget that not everyone gets to spend every day surrounded by Soldiers. That's why stories like Lunch with the Soldiers and Email from Dave are good to read.

Oh yeah, and BOO-YAH.

Posted by: Sarah at 11:34 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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My in-laws called in a panic yesterday: since I hadn't done any blogging, something had to be wrong! Nothing's wrong really; I've just been in a funk lately I can't shake. I think I'm homelandsick.

While my husband is gone, I clean up his email and get rid of all the junk. Last week I noticed a folder with my name on it; closer inspection revealed it as Sarah in Sweden. I had no idea he had saved those old emails; I took a trip through the past, reading all my messages from my summer in Örnsköldsvik. And I was homelandsick then too...

I used to think that homesick was only the feeling of missing your family or loved ones. I thought I did not get homesick. But yesterday, I got a different kind of sick. I am homelandsick. I miss the United States. I want to use free bathrooms. I want to drink out of a cup that is bigger than a salt shaker. I want to eat chips and drink Pepsi. I want to drive somewhere instead of walking. I donÂ’t want to eat so many fruits and vegetables. I want to watch TV. I want to see baggy jeans and dirty white baseball caps. I want the sun to go down, so I can see lightning bugs. And I want to leave my shoes on in the house.

Today I boycotted Swedish meals and ate pizza and chips and salsa for lunch. Somehow this just hit me yesterday. My friends and I went on a trip along the coast. It was beautiful, and I took lots of beautiful photos.

But I miss corn fields and huge houses and horizon as far as the eye can see.

I think it was this Mudville post that started it. Maybe it's hearing other wives talk about their plans for trips home and knowing that I won't be going until my husband returns. Maybe it's 4th of July around the corner. Maybe it's everything. I just want to go home.

I wasn't kidding when I said I'd rather be golfing with Bunker. And I suck at golf. I think most people here would faint if they knew my husband and I tried to trade our Germany slot for Fort Hood, but I can't think of anything better right now than going to the Alamo. Or to Vegas. Or just to Subway.

I'm such a patriot that I can't stand to be out of my country for this long.

Posted by: Sarah at 11:28 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 Don't get too down. Things will pick back up for you. A friend just returned from visiting his daughter in Germany, and he was glad to be back. I'm the same way. There are just too many things in this country I haven't seen to go wandering around the world looking for more. I still haven't been to the Black Hills, and I want to see Yosemite again. Washington is one of my favorite cities in the entire world--so much to do there. I've been four times and still want more. I keep trying to plan a road trip from Corpus Christi through Big Bend to Vegas, then back along the northern route to the Grand Canyon, Painted Desert, then back to Corpus across the Llano Estacado and Comanche Country. There will be time for golf when you get back!

Posted by: Mike at June 28, 2004 01:39 PM (MqNKC)

2 Two weeks before the end of my semester abroad in Paris, a friend and I went to London for the weekend. In the 48 hours that we were there, we went to Starbucks five times, just because we were so homelandsick, and Starbucks was a comforting place--exactly the same as it in the U.S. I like traveling a lot, but I also love the States. Having your husband away probably makes being in removed from the U.S. that much harder, but having him back--and going back to the States with him--will be that much sweeter. PS--Yes, that website is mine.

Posted by: Carla at June 28, 2004 03:10 PM (r5M6F)

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Wretchard writes of the price our Soldiers had to pay to prevent the media from having "quagmire" footage. It pains me that they have to play that kind of game.

MORE TO GROK:

I'd much rather see this movie, made by an anti-war fellow who was looking for the truth.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:56 PM | Comments (22) | Add Comment
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For some reason, my body just decided to reject sleep last night. I got in bed at 2315. At 0120 I took a Tylenol PM and read for half an hour. At 0300 I was really starting to get mad. At 0445 my friend's dog (I was puppysitting again) woke me up with his snoring. At 0550 the dog wanted to play. And my alarm went off at 0630 to go in to work.

So all the blogging I can muster today is that you might be interested in this and this.
And make sure to watch this.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Posted by: Sarah at 10:16 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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For the record, my feelings for Red 6 are not weird. Yes, I did say I love him: he's like a third brother to me, and he says I'm like an extra sister-in-law to him. In our house we jokingly call him my second husband. My husband loves him as well, and he knows I have enough love in my heart at the end of the day for more than one soldier...

Posted by: Sarah at 02:16 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Red 6, otherwise known as Best Friend, made it into this BBC slideshow yesterday!

Hooah!

Posted by: Sarah at 01:16 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I read this today in the comments section on another blog. It's part of a longer rant I won't bother with.

The first iraq war was a mistake. Iraq (former babylon) used to be one of the richest most prosperous countries in the world and was the center for trade in the middle-east. The british during there imperialism invaded and took over kuwait which later gained sovereinty. This left Iraq with no access to water and they lost all there trade and the country went to shit. To add salt in the wounds oil was discovered in 1978. So to the Iraqi people a piece of their land that had had owned for 1000's of years was taken from them causing their economy to colapse.
Now I am in no way saying Sadam was right in his methods but you must understand the culture. Sadam came into power by killing the former leader as did he and so on. When you rule a country like this you must rule it with fear. At any moment he could be overthrown. We can't contemplait this because we haven't lived that way for thousands of years.

Wow. I can't help but think of the wonderful Onion parody a few years back. Point (college student): Nigeria is a land filled with culture. Counterpoint (Nigerian): Get me out of this hellhole. We have to accept a violent dictatorship and the invasion of Kuwait because it's their culture. That's appallingly depressing; I think it's the worst thing I've read in a comments section in a long time.

This person describes himself as "well educated and professional", but I have to wonder about that, considering the wealth of spelling and grammar mistakes throughout.

Unfortunatly people regard US people in that malice. Its your government that people hate. They rule by econimic oppression. Who dares to stand up to them. The UN can't who can. So its no wonder 9/11 happened. Unfortunatly it envolved thousands of innocent people.

Posted by: Sarah at 11:02 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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This has been a concern of mine as well...

Hefley said he was particularly concerned about the realignmentÂ’s potential effect on military families, since Pentagon leaders have sketched a scenario in which most families are based in the United States while their sponsors are sent periodically sent overseas for several months at a time for training exercises or missions.

Although extended separations are understandable in wartime, in times of peace, “I would be very reluctant to separate military families more than they already are,” Hefley said.

Feith said that the administration’s plans “should actually contribute to a better situation for families than currently exists.”

He described instances in which families move with their sponsor overseas, only to have the servicemember deploy to yet another place, leaving his dependents alone in a foreign country.

Why couldn't he have left me at Fort Hood? Bunker could be teaching me to play golf!

Posted by: Sarah at 06:35 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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A couple of years ago, before I started reading blogs, I saw a Dinner for Five where Sarah Silverman and Michael Rapaport were talking about how hard it is to be a Jew in Hollywood. I thought they were insane. I didn't exactly grow up surrounded by Jewish people, but I knew a few and I had never heard anyone say anything bad about Jews. In fact, I thought the Holocaust had pretty much taught us all a lesson.

Boy, was I wrong.

After two years of reading LGF, I know that I was wildly naive. I can't say if Silverman and Rapaport are discriminated against in Hollywood, but I will never again scoff at the plight of Jews in our world.

And these days I'm inclined to stop a moment and wonder if there indeed is a subliminal message in photos like this.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:27 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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