October 20, 2007
These were the happy days, the salad days as they say, and Ed felt that having a critter was the next logical step. It was all she thought about. Her point was that there was too much love and beauty for just the two of us and every day we kept a child out of the world was a day he might later regret having missed.
So we worked at it on the days we calculated most likely to be fruitful, and we worked at it most other days just to be sure. Seemed like nothing could stand in our way now. My lawless years were behind me; our child rearin' years lay ahead. But biology and the prejudices of others conspired to keep us childless.
Our love for each other was stronger than ever, but I preminisced no return of the salad days.
I've been itchin' to watch Raising Arizona again, it being one of my favorite movies of all time, but I just didn't think I could bear watching a movie about a couple who can't have a baby. For nine months, I touched it lovingly on the shelf but knew I wouldn't be able to watch it. It makes me cry on regular days; there's no way I could watch it when I too thought my womb might be a rocky place where a seed could find no home.
We've even joked about stealing one of the Dente boys, since they too have more than they can handle.
The past nine months have been a valued experience for me. I thought I'd be going into labor by now, but instead I've been forced to examine why I wanted a baby in the first place and what is really important in this world. Nine months ago, I thought it mattered what month the baby would be born, or what time of year would be best to be pregnant, or whether I wanted a boy or girl. Now...none of those things matter anymore. I've let go of caring about anything, save that a healthy child blesses our household.
I've woken up and taken my temperature 234 times, each time a depressing reminder that I wasn't yet pregnant. I've been forced to watch others around me get pregnant and to learn that life isn't fair and how hard you try really plays no role. I've confronted myself, thrown temper tantrums, and learned to get over myself in the process. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't trade these nine months for anything. I learned a lot about myself and about life in the process.
So when I took that pregnancy test last weekend and saw the little pink plus sign appear, I knew we were ready. And I hollered at my husband to get Raising Arizona out.
We were finally going to watch it.
Posted by: Sabbrielle at October 20, 2007 03:28 PM (2a16B)
Posted by: airforcewife at October 20, 2007 04:17 PM (emgKQ)
Posted by: keri at October 20, 2007 04:29 PM (HXpRG)
Posted by: stuffed at October 20, 2007 04:54 PM (4Rr9R)
Posted by: Army Blogger Wife at October 20, 2007 05:03 PM (kQWmi)
Posted by: Amritas at October 20, 2007 05:46 PM (02w/M)
Posted by: Anwyn at October 20, 2007 06:30 PM (dzxw9)
Posted by: MN Guard Wife at October 20, 2007 06:36 PM (czegE)
Posted by: Non-Essential Equipment at October 20, 2007 09:58 PM (0bmKX)
Posted by: Mare at October 21, 2007 04:09 AM (LQyFc)
Posted by: Butterfly Wife at October 21, 2007 04:12 AM (G9siZ)
Posted by: jck at October 21, 2007 04:58 AM (jQVQ+)
Posted by: Ruth H at October 21, 2007 05:56 AM (BGu/e)
Posted by: debey at October 21, 2007 06:12 AM (7kywJ)
Posted by: Ted at October 21, 2007 09:02 AM (yRolC)
Posted by: InTheAirForceAgain at October 21, 2007 02:16 PM (WjrQW)
Posted by: jennifer at October 21, 2007 03:07 PM (TMBJh)
Posted by: Kasey at October 21, 2007 05:35 PM (tttDj)
Posted by: Sis B at October 21, 2007 05:47 PM (6qNPu)
Posted by: Erin at October 21, 2007 06:44 PM (XRza7)
Posted by: deltasierra at October 21, 2007 08:41 PM (woXks)
Posted by: Tammi at October 22, 2007 01:58 AM (dnmhS)
Posted by: liberal army wife at October 22, 2007 02:36 AM (Ocu2J)
Posted by: Angie at October 22, 2007 04:05 AM (4DpOk)
Posted by: R1 at October 22, 2007 06:22 AM (Eaoq8)
Posted by: Crys at October 22, 2007 07:19 AM (dqGUK)
Posted by: Raging Mom at October 22, 2007 07:44 AM (l+Chn)
Posted by: awtm at October 22, 2007 08:24 AM (++3l4)
Posted by: Green at October 22, 2007 09:23 AM (kS0CA)
Posted by: Kate at October 22, 2007 12:58 PM (tB/4l)
Posted by: Amy at October 22, 2007 04:13 PM (I9LMv)
Posted by: Reasa at October 23, 2007 10:37 AM (vdL8w)
Posted by: wendy at October 24, 2007 11:20 AM (56tHP)
Posted by: jen d at October 24, 2007 02:47 PM (Qbs8b)
Posted by: MaryIndiana at October 24, 2007 05:20 PM (tOxFf)
Posted by: Allicadem at October 24, 2007 05:23 PM (L94cV)
Posted by: Toni at October 25, 2007 11:56 AM (OoGre)
Posted by: Jan Wesner at October 25, 2007 05:31 PM (J+vKa)
Posted by: FbL at October 27, 2007 05:11 AM (rW1/8)
Posted by: Chuck Adkins at October 27, 2007 04:58 PM (buCns)
Posted by: Teresa at October 29, 2007 07:16 AM (rVIv9)
Posted by: Lemon Stand at October 31, 2007 04:29 PM (I9l3I)
54 queries taking 0.0753 seconds, 211 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.