I was just sitting at the kitchen table grading papers when I looked up to see a Military Police vehicle parked in front of my house and an MP out in my yard. I froze. We live right next to a corner where lots of people get tickets, so I knew he was probably just clocking people, and I know in the rational parts of my brain that MPs do not do casualty notification, but I decided to check it out. He said there had been a noise complaint in the area, so he was listening for loud music. I told him that when your husband's deployed, an MP is the last person you want to see in your yard. He laughed and apologized, and when I walked back in the house, I realized I was shaking and crumbling fast.

No matter how many times you imagine the scenario -- and believe me, we lie in bed on bad nights and think about it -- I guess nothing can really prepare you for that knock on the door. As I shut the door and swallowed the lump in my throat, I wondered if I really would be as strong and brave as I am in my imagination.

I didn't feel very strong ten minutes ago.

Posted by: Sarah at 10:34 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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