Over the weekend, we were very optimistic about taking a pregnancy test. We thought the fifth month just might be the charm. But if our pregnancy test had been an election ballot, we would've been looking at a dimpled chad.

That photo is not staged; that's my husband trying to figure out what in the heck was going on. One line means no, two lines means yes, but what does one dark line and one line that's barely perceptible to the naked eye mean? We wanted to find out if we were having a baby or not, and instead we got "Pat Buchanan."

Incidentally, if something is advertised as 99% effective, why does it need to be sold in two packs?

Another test and two more days later, and we're pretty sure we're not pregnant. I was on the phone with my mother, sniveling about how every month that passes brings more likelihood that my husband will deploy before this baby ever shows up, and my mother said the most perfect thing she could've said in this situation: She said that she would obviously do whatever she could to help me if my husband is gone when this baby comes, but that she wanted us to know how proud she is of us, that we've chosen a very difficult lifestyle and that she admires and respects us for making this family sacrifice for our country.

I thought about what she said later in the day, and I thought about the book report I wrote for SpouseBUZZ that morning, and I realized that she's right. We've chosen this life, and we can un-choose it any time we wish. But what we can't do is stick with this choice and then complain about it. Would I want to get out of the Army in order to have my husband here next year? No. So that's our choice. It's important to us to be in the Army, so it has to be important enough to stop complaining about the situation.

So if he's here, he's here, and if he's not, he's not. That's the way it has to be, and there's no sense in talking about it or dwelling on our so-called bad luck.

But can we at least get some better luck in reading those danged home tests?

Posted by: Sarah at 04:13 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
Post contains 392 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Sarah - make sure you're not using EPT brand.. Maybe they are 99% effective now, but I took 2 and both negative - and I was 10 weeks pregnant. The lines should've been clear as day. If its EPT, no wonder your husband looks perplexed.

Posted by: Keri at July 02, 2007 05:07 AM (l3uZP)

2 Get thee to the clinic! I peed on like 5 different tests and figured they were negative. Because, you know, they were so damn hard to read. I even got one of those plus/minus ones figuring that it was idiot-proof enough for us. But that one looked negative, too. It was a friend who saw how I was reacting to food (almost ralphing in response to some potato salad) who told me she was convinced I was up the pole. I went to the clinic to prove her wrong. And now I have a two-year-old who likes to climb up on the roof.

Posted by: Non-Essential Equipment at July 02, 2007 05:16 AM (Y3cfF)

3 Sarah, While there is such a thing as a false negative, there isn't a such thing as a false positive. Your body will only produce the hormone HCG (the hormone those tests are looking for) when you are pregnant (although some women will not produce enough of it to test positive for a few weeks/months). Having said that, I used one of those cheapy brands from AAFES in Germany, and there was a hairline second line (indicating that I was pregnant). However, I went to the clinic and they said no. I chalked that up to a crappy brand, because like I said, your body won't produce HCG if you aren't pregnant. So it's one of two things: the brand you used sucks, or you really are pregnant. Go to the clinic and call me ASAP!!

Posted by: Erin at July 02, 2007 06:30 AM (XRza7)

4 I have to second (or third) that if you see a line there is a good possibility that you are pregnant. With my first child we took a test and there was a second line, but only if you held it up to the light and squinted your eyes. I now have a 7 year old. Go find out!!!!

Posted by: bunchkin at July 02, 2007 09:20 AM (rwmHb)

5 OK... I would buy these things in 10 packs... any question I would take 3... I will say this... when I was prego... boom pink positives right away... darn boxed tests... you could always buy a rabbit, although I am unsure how to do that

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at July 02, 2007 10:31 AM (YDkYg)

6 I had ambiguous tests like that with my #3 daughter. We were't ready for another kid, and had taken 8000 different precautions, but destiny and all that... Anyway, it took a preggers test from the base clinic to diagnose my stomach cramps as about 7 weeks along in pregnancy. I actually argued with the doctor over it, "Well, it looks like you're pregnant! Congratulations!" "No, I'm not." "We did the test, it came up positive." "Your test is probably expired. I have two children. I think I would KNOW if I were pregnant." I guess I don't know as much as I think.

Posted by: airforcewife at July 02, 2007 10:49 AM (0dU3f)

7 ok, everything i wanted to say has been said, but i thought i'd chime in and let you know i agree with the ones who say a second line, even a faint one, is a probable indicator of pregnancy. oh, and awtm stole my line about the rabbit, dangit. i'm glad you've gotten to the point of acceptance about "if he's here, he's here, if he's not, he's not." that's a perfect attitude, and i think that means you're ready to be pregnant. now get to the clinic!

Posted by: Sis B at July 02, 2007 06:24 PM (6qNPu)

8 I appreciate everyone's enthusiasm and encouragement, but...um...I'm not pregnant. I tried to leave the gory details out because my husband gets really creeped out when I give you blog folks too many details, so when I said "two more days later", what I meant was "I got my period and my basal temps returned to follicular levels." Heh. Not pregnant. It's possible it was a VERY early miscarriage, since I was 3 days late, but whatever it was, it's not there anymore. Thanks for trying though

Posted by: Sarah at July 03, 2007 01:18 AM (vrR+j)

9 I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. Probably just a late period rather than a miscarriage. Hang in there - your mom is right. Think of this as "practice" for when everything else goes wrong later. Because once you have kids so much is beyond control. :-)

Posted by: Teresa at July 03, 2007 10:00 AM (gsbs5)

10 OK... deep breath.... prayers said. And now for a suggestion for practice. A gold Princess Lia bikini!

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at July 03, 2007 11:39 AM (YDkYg)

11 Hmmmm...History shows us the only infallible way to get pregnant is to be an unwed teenager who is way too immature to be a mother. Any other condition is like starting up a habachi without the benefit of napalm or a hand grenade. V/R Ed

Posted by: Ed at July 04, 2007 09:42 AM (Ht9id)

12 Ed -- HA. One of my friends said the same thing, that I can't get pregnant because I don't engage in enough *risky behavior.* She suggested doing cocaine or attending a prom. Then I'd get pregnant for sure!

Posted by: Sarah at July 04, 2007 11:43 AM (vrR+j)

13 for the past few months i've been having stomach cramps, last month i had a bladder infection. now two days ago i was having stomach cramps again, and i told my husband to go ahead and buy the pregnancy test so we can go ahead and rule that option out. well, i took the test monday night, and there were two lines (two means yes, one means no), but the second line was very light. then i took another test just yesterday, and the same thing happened. both lines, but one was very light. i haven't missed my period yet, but it should be coming around this week sometime and we're trying not to think about it much. we're going to take another test beginning of next week and see what happens. what do you all think?? think i'm crazy?! or perhaps its our time to start a family??

Posted by: mrsgwinner at July 18, 2007 09:02 AM (tYPcB)

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