September 25, 2007


I got up at 0300 on Wednesday and left the house late. So I sped the hour and a half to the airport, and by "sped" I mean "drove three miles over the speed limit." I was so freaked out that I would miss my plane, but I'm even more scared of getting a ticket.

I made it in time.

On my second flight, some girl in front of me tattled to the stewardess that she didn't like the way I stowed my bag in the overhead compartment. Instead of asking me to shuffle some stuff around, she went and told on me. So they made me check my bag through. So silly.

I crocheted the entire way to Honolulu, much to the hilarity of my rowmates. They looked at me like I was the biggest dork ever, but I got six more squares made for charity. I crocheted for six hours straight.

Honolulu made me laugh. The entire place looks like a joke, like someone set up a movie set for me to walk through. It's so Hawaii that it looks absurd. Also I love that these are the restroom signs:


Both my bag and I made it to Kauai, where CaliValleyGirl picked me up and took me around to meet people until I couldn't keep my eyes open. The next morning, I awoke to what can only be described as screams from zombie victims. I later learned it was roosters. I have never heard such a sound in my life. That island is filled with roosters, gangs of them roaming the streets and howling at 0430 every morning. Unreal. Roosters are to Kauai what squirrels are to normal cities.

Thursday was the rehearsal and dinner. We did the shopping for food and booze in the morning; I had never seen $1200 worth of groceries before! I put together shish kebabs while CaliValleyGirl and company were at the church. We crashed after a fun night and I promised not to keep her awake. Because really, the best part of the trip was that Cali let me share a room with her while I was there. I was the last person to share a bed with single Cali. It was like giving her away! I thought that was a pretty good honor, and I told anyone who would listen. They probably all think I'm a lesbian now.

Friday was wedding day. While the wedding party was getting hair and makeup done, a nice German boy escorted me around the island so I could actually get some photos of Hawaii.


I returned to the house to do one more chore before the wedding: refill the lighter fluid in the tiki torches around the reception tent. Yeah, the problem is that used tiki torches are covered in soot. Thirty minutes before the wedding, I was black up to my elbows. I looked like a car mechanic the whole rest of the day.

I made it to the wedding ceremony only to sit behind the tallest guest in the joint. I barely saw anything of the ceremony, but I was so glad to snap this photo as the happy couple made their way to the limo.


We went back to the reception tent, where Cali's good decorating taste really shined through:


Another huge thrill was that I got to sit at the head table! Imaginary friend, my butt; I rated tip top! Too cool. Dinner was delicious, the entertainment was awesome -- I learned I really, really like traditional Hawaiian music -- and the evening passed into night. Everyone became really surprised that Sarah can actually dance. We lingering few put the happy couple in the limo again and went to crash.

Saturday I spent my last day in Hawaii at the beach. I don't care how beautiful it is, I still hate the beach. I can't stand it. But luckily neither can one of Cali's cousins, so he and I sat and chatted while I knitted. I took a lot of crap for sitting under a tree in Hawaii knitting, but I coined a new saying: "I'd rather go home with a sock than a sunburn." After the beach, I said my goodbyes and made my way to the airport for my 2340 red-eye flight.

The way home was uneventful, save the incident at dinner. I bought a hamburger and fries at some airport fast food place, and a pilot in line behind me bought two burgers and fries. The cooks called his number first, so he took the bag and offered me a fry while I waited. He munched on some fries and then started digging in the bag and realized there was only one burger in there. Um, oops. The dumb cooks had handed him my order. So this pilot, who was super nice and really not to blame, manhandled my burger and fries...and the cooks said, "Oh, sir, we're so sorry for the mix-up." They apologized to him! I couldn't decide if I was really ticked off or just too awestruck by the gall of it to be mad.

My last flight was two hours late in taking off, which is never fun at the end of a 22-hour journey. But I made it home in one piece and slept in late with no roosters to disturb me.

Hawaii was lovely. I didn't think I'd care one way or the other, but I did think it was beautiful. However, now that I'm home, I'm back to thinking that the grass is greener in my own backyard.

And we don't even have grass. Just weeds and dirt.

Posted by: Sarah at 07:58 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 945 words, total size 5 kb.

1 Ahh, I had forgotten that you were going to Kauai. Now you have to find the time to go back and visit the Big Island. Kilauea volcano has been erupting non-stop for over 20 years. You can rent a decent house/cabin at Kilauea Military Reservation for cheap.

Posted by: R1 at September 25, 2007 08:27 PM (b8byF)

2 Wow, you did find the time to write this after all! I wouldn't have minded waiting a day or two, but I'm happy you 'filed your report' early! Thanks for a good read - as always. I've been through Honolulu International Airport so many times over the last 30 years that I've become oblivious to the decor. I don't remember ever seeing the signs you posted. How'd you find them online? Last Sunday or so at the supermarket, I saw a sign that said something like "no checks over $200 accepted" and I thought, who would spend more than $200 on groceries? Never even dreamed of "$1200 worth of groceries". Wonder what the checkout person thought ... Sorry to hear you didn't get a good seat at the ceremony but I guess being at the head table made up for it! What is it that you don't like about the beach? The sun exposure? Would being at a beach at night be better? (I haven't done that in 15 years.) Not that I'm saying you _have_ to like beaches. Just curious.

Posted by: Amritas at September 25, 2007 08:59 PM (02w/M)

3 "Now they all probably think I'm a lesbian." I'm DYING here!!!

Posted by: airforcewife at September 26, 2007 03:31 AM (emgKQ)

4 LOL - Cali and her new husband look terrific! (not that I expected any less *grin*). Sounds like the wedding went off wonderfully well. And yes, you crack me up... the last person to sleep with her... OMG!!! Excellent. I'm not a beach person either... not for sitting. I love walking along beaches - especially rocky beaches like we have up here in the Northeast.

Posted by: Teresa at September 26, 2007 04:33 AM (rVIv9)

5 Wow, what a fun time! Glad you got to go and have fun, and she does look lovely (dress blues.. so much better than a rental tux!) I used to hate sand so much, my parents could leave me on a blanket on the beach, and I wouldn't move off it! So, they are NOW letting crochet hooks on the plane? last time I tried to get on a plane with a crochet hook, I had to leave it behind! When we had chickens, my neighbours were a bit miffed about the roosters.. LAW

Posted by: liberal army wife at September 26, 2007 05:31 AM (t7HML)

6 This is the same person who, when she was a little girl, LOVED to play on the beach for hours. We spent a lot of weekends on the Gulf when we lived in Houston and enjoyed trips to Florida. She and her brother loved to make me nervous by going out as far as they could (they were both excellent swimmers and loved adventure). Unfortunately, that Scotch-Irish skin doesn't like the sun! Sarah, your pictures are just beautiful!!! Love, Your Mama

Posted by: Nancy at September 26, 2007 05:39 AM (m84zM)

7 maybe I will "room " with you in Vegas, since you are a lesbian. (Only kidding) I am so glad you had such a fantastic time, and I am glad to hear Hawaii is sort of a satire of itslef, that is really funny. I kept picturing you in a Wes Anderson Hawaii while you were there. To CVG, Many happy years, and you two look gorgeous as always!!! PS the reception was very pretty

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at September 26, 2007 05:58 AM (otZU/)

8 Sarah - You are hilarious & I don't even "know" you in person... Hono is funny, though, isnt it? But you can't beat the Hale Koa. They look great.

Posted by: Keri at September 26, 2007 07:30 AM (l3uZP)

9 Looks like and sounds like a great time. I think it is sweet that you got to spend the last night with your friend. That is not a kind of platonic intimacy that many people have have or share.

Posted by: Butterfly Wife at September 26, 2007 09:38 AM (+2qii)

10 It's nice to get away from home every once in a while, if only to realize we really like it at home.

Posted by: Green at September 26, 2007 09:47 AM (VqW06)

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