"Are you nervous?" my mother asked as we drove to the hospital this morning. "No," I said, "I just want to know the answer either way." I was prepared for both answers; I just wanted one of them.
When we finally got situated, which felt like it took forever, the nurse pulled up the ultrasound on a big screen.
"This is the gestational sac, where the baby lives," the nurse said. My mother got giddy and clapped her hands together like a little girl. "Hold your horses," I said wryly. "We had one of those last time, but there was nothing in it."
"This is the yolk sac, which will provide nourishment to the baby until the placenta forms," she continued.
"And this right here, this little grain of rice that's half a centimeter long, this is your baby." She zoomed in, and like magic we saw a rapidly beating heart. "That's the heart, right?" I cautiously asked.
It was. Beating 160 beats per minute. Going to town.
Everything looks good for where we're supposed to be. And happily, this is further than we got the last time.
I was kind of stunned. And so was my husband when I told him. He expected to be comforting me while I cried today; instead, I told him to get ready for his first Father's Day.
I was disappointed when she turned off the machine and made me go home; I could've watched that heartbeat all day long.
We still have a ways to go before we're out of the woods, but this is a heck of a good start.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Now that this is off my shoulders, I can get back to our regularly scheduled programming of ranting about 20 year old movies and dating advice on MSN.
And knitting. Lots of little knitting.
Alleluia! and Congratulations!
I can't tell you how thrilled I am for you.
Posted by: Sandi at May 29, 2008 11:00 AM (PzeGZ)
Goosebumps and tears over here for you, Sarah. I'm SO happy to hear that. I have been thinking about you all day long. I hope things continue to go well and will keep you and your baby in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Stephanie at May 29, 2008 11:10 AM (GCvnx)
That is good news - I am so glad for you! Not letting up on the positive thoughts, though ;-)
Posted by: Barb at May 29, 2008 11:11 AM (iaV9O)
Posted by: MaryIndiana at May 29, 2008 11:19 AM (PEFLo)
I'm so happy for you both!! Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go dig out my Debbie Bliss BabyKnits book and decide what to make first.
Posted by: Mare at May 29, 2008 11:34 AM (EI19G)
Posted by: anonymous at May 29, 2008 11:43 AM (CrA9t)
Some of that NY air no doubt helped.
Posted by: tim at May 29, 2008 11:43 AM (nno0f)
I'm freakin' cryin' over here! I've been praying for you guys! I'm so happy to hear about a strong heartbeat. So happy for you.
And we'll continue to send love and prayers. Congratulations!
Posted by: T at May 29, 2008 11:44 AM (KV0YP)
Maybe you need to add this to your blog now?
Posted by: T at May 29, 2008 11:50 AM (KV0YP)
*huge* exhale . . . so so SO happy to read this news!!! I am terribly happy you had family with you. And what a fantastic treat to be able to offer your husband the opposite of his expectations. Wishing you the absolute best in your pregnancy!!!
Hoping for no more scary uncertainties and just the pleasure of the experience!
Posted by: wifeunit at May 29, 2008 11:56 AM (BOdNw)
You bet I checked your blog today
all i could think, as i skimmed to the good news, was HOLY SHIT!! ok, now that i have fouled your page.... happy belated mother's day and i'm so glad that you got to practice with emma. send those pics to your husband so that he can insert imagined picture of his own baby.
Posted by: Kate at May 29, 2008 12:12 PM (576n8)
I was holding my breath as I read your post ... WOW! What great news! Best wishes and prayers will continue. Happy belated Mother's Day!!!!!
Posted by: Toni at May 29, 2008 12:32 PM (OoGre)
Yahooooooo! Isn't that little flashing heartbeat the the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?! Now quit googling things for heaven's sake. And congratulations
Posted by: dutchgirl at May 29, 2008 12:59 PM (NhxCQ)
Posted by: ABW at May 29, 2008 01:17 PM (Y3JJK)
Doing the happy dance!!!! I am so excited for you. Congrats!!!
Posted by: Reasa at May 29, 2008 01:35 PM (nDtqQ)
I am very happy to read of your good news. I've been following your posts the past couple of weeks and praying for you and your husband. Sending many good wishes your way.
Posted by: Lee Anne at May 29, 2008 01:43 PM (SHkIe)
What wonderful news for you and your family! Enjoy your pregnancy and take everything one day at a time!
Posted by: Mel at May 29, 2008 01:46 PM (n2yah)
What wonderful news! I'm sending an email with a link for you to look at photos of our 50th anniversary bash. Our kids gave us a big barbeque with a dance band at our home this past weekend.
Someday your kids will do the same. On you post of who looks like who, I almost commented that I cannot imagine loving someone and not wanting to have a little piece of them for the ages. I look at my kids and siblings and wonder "how long has that look or expression been around?"
Cheers and happy prayers for you, husband and baby. It takes a lot of prayers and 9 months to make a baby and probably 99 years to raise them!
Posted by: Ruth H at May 29, 2008 01:58 PM (w9ltj)
Tears flowing for you!!! I could watch the heartbeat for ever and ever, too.
I am so very relieved. One little step at a time!
Posted by: Sis B at May 29, 2008 02:00 PM (0ZS+T)
Long time reader, first time commenting. Congrats. What a wonderful feeling!! I've been checking your blog like a psycho today. Kick those feet up and start knitting your baby something! Very happy for you and your hubby.
Posted by: kristie at May 29, 2008 02:17 PM (su/rj)
That is wonderful news!! Enjoy the journey to motherhood. I look forward to reading more about it on your blog!
Posted by: Tootie at May 29, 2008 02:19 PM (FtZRk)
My continued prayers will be yours. I understand your hesitancy, having been there myself before, and I understand the joy of seeing that little heartbeat! One thing I can suggest...once you get to the point where you can hear the heartbeat via doppler get one of those that you can rent! It will save you moments of fear! I look forward to seeing more about this pregnancy in the future. Blessings to you and your little grain of rice, which will soon be a little apple, then banana, and before you know it, a full grown baby!
Posted by: stacy at May 29, 2008 02:58 PM (sH2lU)
Yippee! Our continued best to you guys.
Knitting...I tried that once. I made the prettiest knot you've ever seen.
Posted by: Susan at May 29, 2008 03:07 PM (bwlsC)
Great News !!, Thanks for sharing and blessings to you. I thought of you at work today so glad to hear that you were able to post postitive news.
Posted by: MN NG Wife at May 29, 2008 03:40 PM (wjSFf)
I totally have tears in my eyes and I've never even met you! I'm so very glad for your happy news! Wishing you many many blessings during your pregnancy! I hope you enjoy every moment!
Posted by: Rachel at May 29, 2008 03:49 PM (GMp/l)
Sarah - I am thrilled for you & your husband. 160 beats - I predict a girl!
Posted by: Keri at May 29, 2008 03:54 PM (HXpRG)
I am crying for you as well. You have exposed your thoughts, hopes, fears, and your heart to the world through this blog and we have embraced it and you.
I am so glad.
Posted by: Amy at May 29, 2008 03:55 PM (I9LMv)
I am so very happy for you and your husband. May it be clear sailing her on out.
Posted by: Butterfly Wife at May 29, 2008 04:34 PM (wsKaF)
I'm telling you that I purposely didn't check your blog until I couldn't stand it. My laptop is old and I have to delete temp internet files or your updated pages (from the last time I looked) won't load. At first I thought, "Oh, she didn't post." Then I deleted the temp files and I saw the new title up there. And, like everyone else (BUT REALLY, I DID), held my breath and couldn't read fast enough.
Well, I burst into wild sobbing tears. A little over-reaction? Nope. I soooo know how you feel.
Posted by: Allison at May 29, 2008 06:12 PM (Gm5x2)
YAAAAAY! I was praying my hardest!
Posted by: Green at May 29, 2008 06:30 PM (6Co0L)
I don't have words--I just can't stop smiling.
Posted by: FbL at May 29, 2008 06:58 PM (HwqvF)
I am so very happy for you both.
Posted by: Maggie at May 29, 2008 07:11 PM (OKqpv)
Another long time lurker. CONGRATS!!! A big expelled breath and some tears of joy here.
Posted by: Cindy at May 30, 2008 01:03 AM (aqF7w)
Oh.. wonderful news! yippppeeeeee! I'm so happy for both of you. happy dance, happy dance!
Posted by: liberal army wife at May 30, 2008 01:33 AM (A7iUf)
I'm so thrilled for you!! I, too, couldn't wait to check in today to find out the news. More prayers for a happy healthy pregnancy. I burst into tears the first time I heard my baby's heartbeat. I really wasn't expecting that kind of reaction from myself, but it blew me away! And just wait til you feel that baby kick for the first time--it's awesome!
Posted by: MargeinMI at May 30, 2008 04:14 AM (/ULtS)
Holy cow.... Sarah!!!!!!!!
You're gonna be a MOMMY!!!!!!
I remember seeing that little blip-blip-blip of my babies heartbeats, at it is nothing short of a life-altering event.
Congratulations!! I honestly wasn't expecting such good-no, not good... WONDERFUL news. Needless to say, I'm thrilled and totally excited for you!
Posted by: AFSister at May 30, 2008 04:55 AM (mUuHm)
Aww..congratulations! What great news!
Posted by: Kiki at May 30, 2008 04:55 AM (OnpeF)
Oh, I am so happy for you! This is wonderful news!
Posted by: Tressa at May 30, 2008 05:08 AM (yY6P+)
This fantastic news is bringing the lurkers out of the woodwork! (I am one)
What good news!
Posted by: gatorgirl4325 at May 30, 2008 05:18 AM (zw+Ky)
That is the best news I've heard in a long, long time!! I've got happy tears for you and hubby!!! YIPEEEEEE!!!!
Posted by: rechamp at May 30, 2008 05:23 AM (gDEwS)
Whew. Many happy wishes for a continued strong, healthy baby.
Posted by: Anwyn at May 30, 2008 07:05 AM (dzxw9)
Listening to the heartbeat.... all that talk reminds me that many years ago, before ultrasound, we listened to the heartbeat of our third child by using our sound system hooked up to a microphone. This was when we still had tubes in our sound systems and radios for heaven's sake!! I need to tell that to my younger son, he thinks because he was unexpected he may have been unwanted. No, we were thrilled enough to listen to his heartbeat more that once.
Posted by: Ruth H at May 30, 2008 07:35 AM (w9ltj)
But it's nice to be crying at my desk at work because of something happy for a change.
Posted by: loquita at May 30, 2008 09:21 AM (5npD/)
Woah, should've skipped reading all the other comments, I cried more!
Posted by: loquita at May 30, 2008 09:28 AM (kZVsz)
What a relief! I've been waiting and wondering ten days. I assumed you wouldn't post yesterday, but you did, and with good news, to boot! 95%! Wow! Still a long way to go, and hopefully a lifetime of parenting ahead! The adventure continues!
Posted by: Amritas at May 30, 2008 11:44 AM (+nV09)
Been reading your site for a while now and congrats. I agree with at least one other poster...rent the baby doppler. Not only is it reassuring to hear the heartbeat...it's just a lot of fun to hear the baby move around!
Posted by: Billie at May 30, 2008 04:52 PM (hmRhs)
Yeah! I'm so happy. It may sound silly, but I'm sitting here crying. Happy belated Mother's Day!
Posted by: Jen at May 30, 2008 07:22 PM (8uo9X)
I've followed you on Spousebuzz, and through lots of different blogs read some of your posts here....
I'm so delighted to read this. I will be praying for you, for your husband, and for your little baby.
Posted by: Val at May 30, 2008 08:50 PM (7rysb)
Kudos to you and your husband.
Posted by: Eric Chen at May 31, 2008 07:18 AM (G4nVT)
That is indeed good news!
Posted by: Patrick Chester at May 31, 2008 10:34 AM (MOvul)
Oh thank God.
I was holding my breath too.
But that is so great. Yay. Wow I don't know what else to say ... I'm just so happy.
Posted by: TomboyWarrior at May 31, 2008 07:32 PM (zSR6I)
I can remember very clearly the first time I heard my daughters heartbeat. What a beautiful noise.
Posted by: Amy at June 01, 2008 02:55 PM (QRbmz)
Posted by: Lame-R at June 03, 2008 09:30 AM (nt98J)
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