October 19, 2008

AT LONG LAST

At the Milblogs Conference, during the tribute to our fallen, I mentioned Bunker Mulligan. Or, I tried to: I immediately choked up and barely managed to sob the words out.

It's been three years since the death of a man I never met, and it still hurts that much.

A while back, I found this old comment he left:

There are just too many things in this country I haven't seen to go wandering around the world looking for more. I still haven't been to the Black Hills, and I want to see Yosemite again. Washington is one of my favorite cities in the entire world--so much to do there. I've been four times and still want more.

I keep trying to plan a road trip from Corpus Christi through Big Bend to Vegas, then back along the northern route to the Grand Canyon, Painted Desert, then back to Corpus across the Llano Estacado and Comanche Country.

There will be time for golf when you get back!

He didn't get to do these things. We didn't get to play golf.

Mike is buried in San Antonio, and I had to see him while I was there. We located his marker and my friends stayed in the car as I got out to pay respects.

The sobbing started even before I saw his name.

bunker.jpg

I had tried to think of something I could leave there for Mike, but I couldn't come up with anything and was empty handed. My fellow SpouseBUZZ author Toad surprised me with the most perfect idea: he had brought a golf ball and a Sharpie for me.

I left Mike a little note on the golf ball and then sat there and wept.

bunkercry.jpg

I still miss him so much.

And I want this blog post to be better, because he deserves better, but I just don't know what else to say.

Damn, this weekend was rough.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:17 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 Regrets! I lived 45 miles away and never met him in person. It doesn't seem like it has been that long since he left so suddenly. I must get my husband back to Big Bend. He loves that place. He and our sons are hoping they can make it in February. And we both want to get back to Yosemite. We went to the Black hills summer before last when we made a round trip to the Northwest then home through Mt Rushmore and the Black Hills. When I read Bunker's words it makes it more important that we get to those places we want to go. We are not young like Bunker, we are in our 70's. We are fortunate for the places we have been and seen and that we can go there again. I hope it gave you some peace to have been able to visit Bunker's final resting place.

Posted by: Ruth H at October 19, 2008 05:49 PM (BkiKe)

2 I am so excited because I can finally read your blog again, from my new phone only though. Makes commenting slow work! So sorry to read this post. You pay him great honor with this.

Posted by: Darla at October 19, 2008 08:49 PM (hRWl6)

3 It was perfect Sara.

Posted by: Reasa at October 20, 2008 05:10 AM (2W7Iu)

4 “And I want this blog post to be better, because he deserves better, but I just don't know what else to say.” It was beautiful Sarah.

Posted by: tim at October 20, 2008 05:13 AM (nno0f)

5 I can't think of any way this post, or your gift, could have been more fitting or any 'better.' {{Hugs}}

Posted by: Guard Wife at October 20, 2008 05:17 AM (eb8pN)

6 Sigh. I miss him so much too. It was wonderful to see that you stopped by, though. It still ticks me off that the folks who snapped up his domain (sadly, we were not monitoring his email accounts when the renewal came up) won't even respond to my offers to buy back the domain. I have a backup of his WordPress database stashed somewhere and have thought often about re-posting his site as a permanent archive, especially as election season has churned on. I suppose I can just post it as a subdomain on one of mine, or some new domain name...

Posted by: Rob L. at October 20, 2008 06:31 PM (Ovyp5)

7 Toad's idea was inspired, and you know how much Mike would treasure it. You did him proud, sweetie - really you did.

Posted by: Barb at October 20, 2008 06:50 PM (T4MbB)

8 As if Bunker would think (does think) this post is anything other than apt. Silly wabbit.

Posted by: John of Argghhh! at October 22, 2008 11:12 AM (TZ8PW)

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