Last year I felt a little lame opening presents under the tree by myself, so this year was much more fun. We all had a merry Christmas...especially Charlie, who ate the nose off his brand new toy in under a minute.

Posted by: Sarah at 06:40 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard.

I've been having a nagging feeling lately that I wasted my education chances. I had excellent grades in high school, and I got a full ride to college. I could've done anything with my four years that I wanted to, and I had two paths I could've followed. I could've studied French, which was easy for me and fun. Or I could've studied physics, which I found extremely interesting but took more work and application of my brain. I chose French.

As I sit in Germany with no job, I realize that neither degree would've done me much good here. I only use French to write Christmas cards to my elderly French relatives. By the time we move to our next duty station, it will be time to start discussing plans for children, so I'll never have much going for me in the way of a career. I can't help but feel that if my degree is only going to end up being for my personal enrichment, then I made the wrong choice.

I always thought it was strange that European youngsters are pigeonholed into careers far earlier than we Americans are. There's really no such thing as an "undecided major" in Europe. But even though I waited until the ripe old age of 19 to decide my major, I still feel now at 28 that I should've chosen wiser. I chose French because it came so easily to me, and because it was the smallest major at my college, which would afford me more electives to play around with. I looked into the physics minor, but it turned out to be more hours than the French major, impossible if I studied abroad. So I let it go, and now I'm disappointed in myself.

28-year-old Sarah can't get President Kennedy out of her mind. I wish I'd chosen physics because it was hard. I should've worked and stretched my brain and forced myself to acquire new skills. I should've tried to do something I really wanted to do instead of taking the lazy route.

I should be an out-of-work physicist instead of an out-of-work French speaker.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:48 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 Sarah, I'm 47 years old. I have a Master's degree. I got a Bachelors in Mechanical Engineering at 21 and my Masters at 38. It is never too late to learn. As a nuclear trained submarine officer, I went to a Navy school to learn nuclear engineering. In my class there was a Commander who had been out of college for 17 yrs. It was the first time he had to study hard since he left school. And he struggled because he was a History major. But he passed the exceedingly difficult course and became a nuclear engineer and went on the be Commanding Officer of the Nimitz and COMNAVAIR in the Pacific (3 star Admiral). It is solely dependent on how badly you want it and how hard you can work for it. My son is studying Civil Engineering now and he hates it. I don't think he will end up finishing. But it doesn't matter to me. As long as he finishes college, that is all that is required. You should recognize that after living with the military for so long, it is not what you studied in college that makes you successful. It is how hard you work at what you do. Take some risks, and the gains will be worth it. A degree in French is merely a license to learn, and is no better license than a degree in nuclear engineering. I know. I'm living it right now, and still having to learn new things. You are already a success, gal. It isn't how much money you make. It is what you do with the time you have on Earth. And you are doing better than most of us. You support a man who defends us, you support a widow who gave her husband for us, and you have taught many children what a responsible adult in this world is supposed to do. God bless you for that. Merry Christmas, Sarah. To your whole family. Subsunk

Posted by: Subsunk at December 24, 2005 09:35 AM (6RsXX)

2 Sarah, I'm 31, and I never picked a Major in college. I never really went to college. I had a few things that I wanted to do but never really went down those paths. I went straight to work full time and made lots of money without a degree. Then I got married to a solider, quit my job and had babies right away. I guess what I'm saying is that you never know what path life will bring you. It was hard for me to quit my job and hard for me to decide to have children right away. But I did it and now I couldn't be happier. I know you've made difficult decisions in you life. Some were hard and some were easy. Don't feel upset because of the path you chose. Be happy that you were afforded the opportunity to go to college. That is hard in itself Miss you in the USA! Ang D

Posted by: Angie D at December 24, 2005 12:03 PM (SA3c9)

3 Miss Sarah, You are far from "out of work" and for that matter, you are far too quick to pidgeon-hole yourself with labels like "physicist" and "french speaker". Whether you realize it or not you have chosen the more difficult path. You have chosen to be a military wife, and as you mentioned you may chose to be a mother. I have watched my Bride for the 15 years of our marriage and am constantly amazed. You could label her and call her an social worker or and accountant. She is academically trained in those fields though in all our post college years toghether she has never worked more than a year in any of those fields. Those labels fail to impress. They mean nothing at all. What matters is that she is my Bride and the mother of my children. I have it so easy compared to her. I get to do fun stuff, sail on fast ships, go to exotic far away countries, play with really cool testosteron impregnated toys but she as my Bride and Mother to Chaos, Mayhem and Entropy is the foundation of everything that I hold precious and dear. I am sure you are that for you husband as well, though we are often remiss is reminding our Brides of their true worth and value. The road you have chosen as a Army Wife and in time maybe a mother to a Soldiers children is one of the most difficult and challenging paths you could have chosen and in my mind one of the most valuable. All other achievements and titles mean squat. To The Tyrant Never Yield R/ Ed

Posted by: Ed at December 24, 2005 02:01 PM (OjVMB)

4 Sarah, Your commenters (before me) are providing good advice. Learning in college is more about learning to learn - that sounds silly, but I really know very few people who are doing what they thought they would based on their college choices. And I am in a technical field! So... just keep on learning, about yourself and the world around you. You should not EVER value yourself based on the external benchmarks. And you can always pick up a Physics book, right? (BTW, I simply admire that you made choices to be able to enjoy the college experience. I chose a tough major, and slogged through. Did not have fun until the last semester, when the end was in sight!) Merry Christmas!

Posted by: JCK at December 24, 2005 03:28 PM (J9ixV)

5 I work at a firm where all that matters is where you went to school and what your current title is. I look at the lives of all my bosses, with their big titles and their multiple degrees and see how miserable they are. I started my college career like them, first I was Pre-med (which is what my mother wanted) then I was Pre-law (which is what my father wanted), then I left the private ivy league university I was in (because I didn't want to incur a debt and be forced to complete a degree in order to pay back the loans). Instead, I went to state college in the evenings for awhile taking courses trying to figure out what I wanted to be. I even stopped that because I felt like I was wasting money. Learning, studying wasn't a problem; making a committment wasn't a problem; finding something I loved to do, now that was a problem! One day I was walking around in a bookstore and I accidently stumbled on a workshop being given by an author who talked about all the different jobs she'd had and all the different courses she'd taken only to realize that what she was finding out about life and herself. No one in her family had gone to college so she didn't know how to go about finding a career. She learned that by trial and error and noticing the things she liked to do and those she hated, she was able to figure out what she enjoyed doing enough to make it into a career. She now loves what she does; it doesn't pay much but she said she was happy and it truly showed. As a result I went back to college in the evening taking courses from math, computer science, chemistry, physics, & anatomy. Then one day, at age 36 I sat in a class and it all clicked for me and I discovered what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It took me 2 more years to finish and I decided to go straight to grad school in a PhD program. One year into Grad school, at age 39, I got married and at 40 I gave birth to the wonderful unexpected surprise gift of a baby boy. I left school (my choice) because I wanted to be there for my son and instill in him my values. In the end I chose to delay going back to school because I know that I'll be back. In the mean time I use my education (the ability to learn how learn and teach myself) in many ways. I've had positions where I use some of my education and learn other things that will help me in the future along the way. All this is to let you know, it's never too late and if you love what you studied you'll find ways to use it! From reading you what I hear mostly is how critical you are of yourself. I would suggest intead of flogging yourself figure out ways you can use your language abilities. Being completely fluent in 2 and having knowledge of a 3rd is essentially what got me the job I have today. Your degree shows not only that you can learn, and that your smart. I would focus on the positives and the opportunities than what you didn't do or havent accomplished, you're too good of a person for that! I really hope this ramble helps!

Posted by: Michele at December 24, 2005 05:52 PM (beN4P)

6 Sarah... Don't look at the unemployment necessarily as a negative, think about how you can use the skills that God started you out with and what you've learned along the way. You're a good writer, have you thought about exploring that venue? You're an American in Europe...do you think that you might be able to help a European company do more business with Americans? Many times while "they" might speak the lingo...they don't understand how we tick. That's where you come in... Other things to think about would be to write for travel magazines/industries...volunteer your literary skills for the unit's family support groups, etc. Hang in there kiddo, you'll land on your feet. A Merry Christmas to you and yours! Have a Happy New Year filled with good health, much luck, and prosperity. Email me offline if you're interested in more about the writing gig. I can recommend a few books that might help you out. MajorDad1984

Posted by: MajorDad1984 at December 24, 2005 07:45 PM (tdEnf)

7 A message from your mom: You sell yourself too short! Remember what your dad has always said, "That piece of paper that shows you've gotten a degree only matters when you get your first job. After that, it doesn't matter." I remember when you taught ESL at U of I. As I recall, you were very happy doing that, and you were also very good at it. I ended up being a stay-at-home mom for 28 years and always thought I'd be a teacher. Having a home and children was what I really wanted to do. Sometimes it was a pretty tough job, but t was the most rewarding endeavor of my life. I think you kids have turned out pretty well. You don't measure success by your career or how much money you make. You are successful if you love what you do and make a positive impact in the world, both of which I feel you have accomplished. I admire you so much for being a good military wife and supporting Russ the way you do. To me, your blog is one of the most inspiring things a person could do. You don't realize how many lives you touch each day, whether it's writing about a deployment, the trials of a new puppy, a friendship, your love of our country, and the countless other things that you write about. Whether you make a person stretch his mind, make a soldier's wife know that she's not alone, or even show the world that you too have weaknesses or doubts, you are helping people. To me, that is a successful life. Being our firstborn, you were a high achiever and a pleaser and always tough on yourself. It's time you realized that you have alot to offer doing exactly what you're doing now. It's time for you to pat yourself on the back! Since it's Christmas Eve, think about our favorite movie; what if there had never been a Sarah? I love you and am proud of you. XOXOXO and Merry Christmas! Your Mama

Posted by: Nancy at December 25, 2005 03:12 AM (Z+RCN)

8 Good advice from everyone. Here's my two pfenning: it doesn't matter what you learn in college...it is entirely possible to go to college and not learn a darned thing. Some people have remained in college all their lives and are still totally clueless, especially outside of their chosen profession. College isn't really a place wher eyou learn new things...it can be, if you take the graduate and postdoc courses, but that is where the real learning is done. What college offers you at its most basic is a *way* to learn. This is the lesson I missed when I was in college, and dropped out and joined the army. See, in college I zipped through everything and was rapidly bored in my first semester. I could study and regurgitate, math wasn't all that particularly hard and much of my chemistry lab work I could predict just by knowing what the reagents were. What I didn't learn was what I called later the power of the outline. College teaches a methodical means of learning and research. I had to learn that myself, ad-hoc and inexpertly over the years, much to my dismay. A standard college degree shows that you have mastered this methodology, more advanced degrees show that you have managed to apply it. This isn't to say its the perfect method of learning...you can fall into the trap of the academics where your postulates will be out of whack, say, due to ideology, and your conclusions, while well reasoned, will be utter crap. (lots of examples of that, as I'm sure you know) But withthe proper postulates, you can apply this methodology and then you can really learn something new. Don't sell yourself short! You have accomplished something here and walked away with proof of that accomplishment. Don't lean too heavily on what you haven't learned, because you won't get anywhere that way. Instead, take what you have learned and apply the method, you will, through time and effort, succeed. You've already said it, its not worth doing because it is easy...but because it *is* hard. Merry Christmas from Texas. Has it bothered snowing in Vilseck? I still shudder to remember slogging it up that hill to the motor pool at 0 dark thirty for the morning run in the slush!

Posted by: Jason at December 25, 2005 12:34 PM (e31/e)

9 Sarah, listen to your mother. (smile) I was told by some very wise people to get the word should out of my vocabulary. And your mother is right, you don't know how many lives you have touched. Mine being one. I've reached the age where there are a lot of things that I could regret having done, or not having done for that matter, however I can see looking back that my paths have been right for ME. I love your postings, and feel honored to have glimpses into your life. Thank you.

Posted by: Maggie45 at December 25, 2005 02:32 PM (vgHYt)

10 Hey, ummmmm.... What is "...and do the other things?" What are these other things. Incidentally, my life went backwards. National Merit Scholar. Future engineer. Fight with dad, suddenly an enlisted blue-suiter. Taking college, almost perfect AFOQT score looking forward to bootstrap or OCS. Bang, suddenly a family, out of the AF and again a silly villian. Oddly, I wouldn't change a thing. Changing things would mean I wouldn't have my wife and children (or the dumb dog), and I've found that I'm generally very happy now. Kalroy

Posted by: kalroy at December 25, 2005 08:36 PM (9RG5y)

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I watched the Superman Returns trailer. OK. I'm too big of a fan of the originals to know how I'm going to react to the new movie. It looks too...um...good for me. I want my Superman in a technicolor suit, not a murkier gotham-city getup. I want my Clark Kent bumbling and my Lois Lane snotty. But we'll see; you know I'm gonna see it anyway. And if luck is on my side, we'll see it in the USA.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:49 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I've been working on my relationship with Heidi for a year now. I've felt uncomfortable with the fact that the reason we became friends is because her husband was killed. I'm slowly getting over that, but today I was once again struck by how much I hate that our relationship is littered with eggshells.

I was writing something to her, and I wrote, "I am scared to death of" before I stopped and realized I had chosen my words poorly. Every time I write to her, I find myself backspacing over all sorts of stupid expressions: "I could've just died when I said", "that joke killed me", "I love her to death." I feel like some dumb sitcom character who stutters like an idiot because he just asked a blind girl if she saw something. When do you get over that? When will I stop having to police myself so I don't say something stupid? When will our friendship just feel normal?

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Remember those puppies who were born about two months ago? Well, Charlie got to meet little Elway this weekend. We managed to take a funny series of photos called Charlie Bullies the Newborn:

Scene 1: After several minutes of being oblivious, Charlie notices Elway has his bone

Scene 2: Charlie comes to see what he can do about it

Scene 3: Despite Elway's best efforts, Charlie gently pulls the bone away

Scene 4: Elway stands by dejectedly as Charlie reclaims his bone

Scene 5: Charlie is a victorious jerk

Despite the fact that Elway holds his own with my friend's 120 lb. dog, he was a bit timid around Charlie. We're hoping that they might do better together in a few more weeks, but from the look of things they may turn out to be friends after all...

Posted by: Sarah at 04:15 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Waaaaaaaah! I want a dog too!

Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at December 04, 2005 07:06 PM (nOZSi)

2 Sarah, So cute!! I'm sorry I missed it! And CaliValleyGirl, I have an extra puppy that I'd be more than willing to pawn off to you!

Posted by: Erin at December 05, 2005 02:47 AM (1jSU1)

3 Hey, too bad we didn't mix Winston into the picture! What a mess that would be!

Posted by: Stephanie at December 05, 2005 04:51 AM (MOoZ+)

4 How could Charlie even find the bone with all that hair??? HH6

Posted by: Household6 at December 05, 2005 09:04 AM (T+Tkq)

5 OOOOOOOOO! They are both so cute! (Big statement coming from the biggest chicken in the world). I just want to hug both of them.......as long as they stay below my knee!

Posted by: Vonn at December 05, 2005 10:29 AM (dEgRi)

6 apparently I'm not very observant. I see you've answered the Grok question many times!

Posted by: Monique at December 06, 2005 01:45 PM (AK5UJ)

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Congrats to Erin's husband on his promotion today!

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We've got a problem: Charlie loves snow. So much that I can't get him out of it. And he's become a huge faker, ringing the bell that he has to go to the bathroom just so he can go outside and play. Ugh. I think I took him outside six times already today! He likes to burrow in the snow, flip it up in the air with his nose, and then eat it.

What a weirdo.

Posted by: Sarah at 12:25 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Several people have asked about Charlie's Thanksgiving. We're not much for giving him table scraps, but he did hang out in the kitchen most of the day while we were preparing the food, scrounging what fell on the floor -- a bit of ham here, a crumb of bread there. But when we all sat down at the table, we heard an ominous noise from the living room. The husband remembered that our platter of summer sausage and cheese was still on the coffee table. I raced in to find Charlie wolfing down as much as he could before we caught him.

About an hour later, Kelly's son came in the kitchen and whispered, "Um, Charlie threw up." We all had a good laugh at the pile on the dining room floor: three un-chewed pieces of cheese and two un-chewed slices of sausage. No time for chewing when you have to eat as much as you can before someone finds you, right?

Because we had a full house, Charlie didn't get any naps that day. When everyone left after dinner, he crashed for the night. I think he had a pretty exciting Thanksgiving.

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We cooked for six hours, and our knees and feet are killing us. And so are our stomachs! But it was worth every minute...

I like what Lileks said about Thanksgiving:

ItÂ’s a day that stands aside from the rest, a day on which the simplest and most essential things are revealed as gifts of indescribable worth. And then thereÂ’s pie.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:19 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 You girls look so cute! "Rachel" would be so proud of you! Happy Thanksgiving! Love, Mama

Posted by: Nancy at November 25, 2005 02:28 AM (Z+RCN)

2 I can only imagine how much fun you all had

Posted by: The Girl at November 26, 2005 03:30 AM (naaPi)

3 It's so fun to have such good friends when your family can't be close I miss my "Germany Friends"!

Posted by: Angie D at November 26, 2005 12:49 PM (SA3c9)

4 P.S. Did the dogs have a good Thanksgiving? Miss you..

Posted by: Kelly's mom at November 27, 2005 12:17 AM (WXHIS)

5 Ahh look at my sister. You guys look great, I miss ya'll! Hopefully we'll be back over next spring. Happy holidays!

Posted by: Casey at November 27, 2005 01:38 PM (WXHIS)

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Yesterday I wrote a post that I wanted to put up right before Thanksgiving; today it seems absurd to post something so uplifting when I feel so hopeless. Two horrible things happened today to shake my faith in humanity. Sometimes I hate human beings so much, and I fear I'll never be able to grok what makes people do the things they do. I'd never make a good pacifist: some people deserve extinction.

Nothing like heading into Thanksgiving in despair...

But I wrote this cheery post, and I want to still use it. I want to remember that though there are awful, evil people in this world, some people make up for it. And if anyone can make up for it, it's these two.

**********************************************************

Two years ago, I was very frustrated that I was losing all my college friends because of my blog. I went through a very rough patch where numerous friends emailed and said they didn't like me anymore because of my views. When my grandmother died, I learned a hard lesson:

I wish I had friends that I could talk to about how I feel about the world. I have my husband and my mother, and that is basically it...and my mother lives an ocean away and my husband will be gone for a year. We're new to our post here in Germany so I don't have any strong relationships yet, and despite my efforts, I don't hear from my old friends that often. When my grandmother died, I called my mom's best friend to talk about it, and I realized how pathetic I am that I don't have anyone I can count on anymore. And the few relationships I've been trying to hang on to really disappointed me this past week.

But I've been thinking about something lately, something that always makes me smile and know that now, two years later, I do have friends who care.

I met Erin in recycling class here. (Seriously, it's so intense we have to attend a class.) She and I were the only ones who showed up that day, and she gave me a ride home afterwards. We didn't really become friends so much as we became two people who really enjoyed running into each other on accident. When she started working at the commissary, I always was excited to go grocery shopping because I knew I could get in Erin's lane and talk to her for at least a couple of minutes.

I went to the commissary the day after my grandmother died, and when Erin asked how I was doing, for some reason I opened up and told her instead of just saying that I was fine. Erin looked at me and tears started welling up in her eyes. She said how sorry she was and how bad she felt for me. It was so touching because she was just someone I ran into in the grocery line, while friends I'd known for years had failed me. I knew that day that there was something special about Erin.

When the deployment started, Erin got a new and much better job working with a girl named Kelly. Kelly had the morning shift and Erin the afternoon, so when I got off work I would always pop next door for the last half hour of Erin's shift. One evening I stopped by to show off my newly knitted sweater, and it was Kelly in the office instead of Erin. I remember her being friendly but shy, and later Erin told me that Kelly had been so nervous to meet me that she didn't even say anything about the beautiful sweater I was wearing! Hilarious, since that was the reason I was looking for Erin in the first place.

During the deployment, I spent a lot of time popping in and out of their work. I taught them to knit and they taught me to quilt, though they've been much more prolific at their new craft than I have. I shared Thanksgiving with Kelly and Christmas with Erin, which was so generous because Erin's husband came home for R&R on Christmas morning: they opened their home to me on the day of their reunion.

The most exciting day was early in our budding friendship when Erin casually said something like, "I don't know what your views are, but I support the President and the War on Terror." You could hear my heart jumping out of my chest. We began to talk politics, longwindedly and often, and I learned that Erin and Kelly are basically South Park Republicans like me. Kelly and I bought Erin a W t-shirt for her birthday, and I've shared many a Larry Elder and Dinesh D'Souza book with them. Finally I had friends in my life, right here in the flesh and not just in cyber-land, who shared my worldview. And so I opened myself up and shared my blog address with them.

When Bunker died, I went right to Kelly's house. When I read an article that makes me so mad I could spit, I call Erin. Any time my heart hurts, any time I feel happy or sad, any time the dog does something to make me want to strangle him, I call their office. They trade shifts often, but most of the time I don't even care which one of them answers the phone, as long as Erin or Kelly is there to listen to me.

This Thanksgiving, I'm so grateful for my two best friends. I'm grateful that I met Erin, the wonderful girl who cried until Kelly and I let her take home a wounded stray dog, only to find that she's now mothering four unexpected puppies. I'm grateful that Erin introduced me to Kelly, a mother whose heart is so big that she's offered to adopt a relative's children in their time of need. Both of them are such bigger people than I am, and every day I thank heavens that I met them and wonder how on earth I'm going to part from them next year. But for today, I'm simply happy that all three of our families will sit down at the table together and share a fabulous Thanksgiving meal. (And it will be fabulous. We're making everything from scratch, and we even bought matching aprons for the occasion!)

Thank you, Erin and Kelly, for showing me that it is possible to have friends I can completely be myself around, even if Erin does make fun of my Richard Simmons exercise regime.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:18 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 Yes, friends and family make me feel so blessed. And Richard Simmons...wow...I am speechless.

Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at November 23, 2005 06:29 PM (oAGxf)

2 Don't start thinking about having to "part" as friends next year . . . enjoy the moment! I had a hard time leaving "my wife" . . . but we still talk all the time. Take photos of the three of you when you are just hanging out being silly . . . it makes for a great going away gift! You will run into them again, I promise . . . it is the Army way and you will make every effort to keep in touch! Nothing can keep girls apart not even miles!

Posted by: H. Sims at November 23, 2005 11:03 PM (gMjwx)

3 Ok, so I'm crying when I'm supposed to be heading to your house. I feel so blessed to have both you and Kelly as dear friends. I love you so much Sarah. Erin

Posted by: Erin at November 24, 2005 05:24 AM (GMkl/)

4 I've learned in life to cherish and to do my best to hold onto the truly good people, because they are the exception, not the rule. They're precious. In other words, count your blessings.

Posted by: Eric at November 24, 2005 02:49 PM (8TPnt)

5 I don't know what happened to make it such a dark day for you, but there are a lot more people out here who agree with you and are happy to read your viewpoints. Good friends will stick by you no matter what, no matter what you believe, no matter who you love and no matter what you do.

Posted by: Mare at November 24, 2005 07:15 PM (vLplQ)

6 So we can safely assume that you've never distanced yourself from friends because of THEIR politics? (Just kidding.) Happy Thanksgiving.

Posted by: Pericles at November 24, 2005 11:42 PM (eKf5G)

7 A late Happy Thanksgiving! I know what it is like to lose friends due to political convictions, happy you found some there. AND you taught them to knit! Lucky them ((:

Posted by: zib at November 26, 2005 08:02 AM (+xbrC)

8 Now I'm sitting here crying while I read your blog Sarah, I miss my Kelly but I'm so happy she has good friends like you and Erin..You all look great...Love you,

Posted by: Kelly's mom at November 27, 2005 12:16 AM (WXHIS)

9 That was so sweet! I'm so happy that you all found each other. Hold on tight, because great friends are hard to find. Vonn**

Posted by: Vonn at November 27, 2005 08:50 PM (sDFje)

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A couple weeks ago I made a note to send my parents an anniversary card. Then I did the mental math and realized that this was their 30th. Yikes, I had to do better than a card! Anyway, I hope you two like what we sent. Congrats on making it to 30, especially in this day and age. I love you...

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Today Charlie experienced his first snow. At first, he wouldn't even leave the sidewalk, but once I stepped into the snow and he saw that it would clump up and he could eat it...well, it was on. He was having the greatest time, which was cute, but unfortunately it made forcing him to go to the bathroom nearly impossible. He had a blast romping around, and he's awful cute with a pile of snow on his nose.

I know I rag on Charlie a lot, but he's been getting much better. This past week has been surprisingly uneventful: he didn't eat anything he wasn't supposed to, save one more knitting needle (I'm just going to have to start putting my projects away while I'm not working on them.) He's been sleeping ten to eleven hours at night, and he no longer fusses in the morning to get out of his crate. He's also getting more attached to us and wants to follow us around the house rather than sneak off and chew on stuff. He keeps improving every day.

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Yesterday we said good-bye to Red6. Today he moved on to his next duty station, where he will try to get back to Iraq as fast as he can. His wife deploys next week, and he's hoping to end up with her downrange. I'm so glad that he gets to finally be with his wife, but I'm terribly sad to see him go.

I still remember the first time I met him. My husband came home one night at OBC and asked if he could invite someone over to dinner. Since my husband does not make friends lightly, I knew this guy must be someone special. As they sat and cracked up together over The Simpsons, I knew they were going to be friends.

We moved here to Germany while Red6 was still at Ranger school. Once my husband realized that this duty station was pretty good for a 12A, he called Red6 and suggested he try to get switched to come here. A day later it was done, and Red6 was on his way. He showed up while the unit was at gunnery, so I helped him get settled while the husband was in the field.

My husband's company had a strange mission in Iraq, so for the first six months of his deployment, he didn't even have a "home base": they bounced from FOB to FOB to Najaf and back. But Red6 was stationary, and since he had an internet connection in his room, he really helped me through the deployment while my husband was out of communication. We'd chat about TV and tell our spouses' embarrassing college stories and other silly nonsense. We'd try to work as many Futurama references into our conversations as possible. He was a lifesaver for me when I had no way of hearing from my husband, and I am so grateful that he was such a good friend to me.

I'm really going to miss listening to my husband and Red6 talk shop at the dinner table. Most people might find that really boring, but that's how I've learned most of my information about the Army and deployment: I loved being a fly on the wall while they talked about things that either pumped them up or burned them up. The two of them seemed to agree on most things -- the good and bad about the Army and armor and Iraq -- and they just got along so well. We're really going to miss him.

I know we're going to keep in touch, but I hope we run into each other again someday. I'm glad that he and his wife are finally together again, and I hope they kick butt together in Iraq.

So long, Red6.

I have to say goodbye now. There ain't no turtles where daddy's a-going...

Posted by: Sarah at 10:36 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Things Charlie has eaten recently:
a #2 pencil
a Simpsons calendar
another knitting needle, this one wooden
the cover letter to my life insurance policy (whew, only the first page)
the handle of his hairbrush
the handle of his rubbermaid toy box
a chapstick
four coasters
the cordless telephone

And as I was typing this, I realized he was eating a linguistics book.

If you look at a Tibetan terrier from the profile, you can clearly see that his back legs are much longer than his front; Charlie is built like a dune buggy. That gives them great jumping abilities, since their legs are like a kangaroo or a rabbit. I began to get nervous about Charlie's jumping when I first saw him jump from a standstill onto our bed (3 ft). Two weekends ago I was downstairs mopping and the husband was watching Charlie upstairs; he jumped over the baby gate at the top of the stairs to get to me. But last week he wowed us all when a 25 lb dog jumped onto our dining room table to get to Red 6's fries.

This dog will be the death of me.

Posted by: Sarah at 09:47 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Andy Schliepsiek was in my dream last night. I was in a church and he was at the other end of the pew. We didn't speak, but he looked worried and sad. If he had looked happy or content, this might've been a good dream, but I can't shake the awful feeling I have about the look on his face.

I know I must've dreamed about him because my mom and I were just talking about the trial. Sentencing just came down: the airman who brutally stabbed to death a couple from my high school just got the death penalty.

Maybe Andy was sad in my mind because I can't shake the horror of what happened to him. They were nice to a guy who didn't have many friends, and he came into their home and killed them. The account of their death reads like a horror movie, only it's a sick scenario that could happen to anyone who crosses the wrong person.

I don't like the fact that he was worried in my dream. I'm glad the killer will fry. I even mentioned to my mom that it seems kind of a small blessing that Andy didn't survive after watching some madman repeatedly stab his wife; I'm not sure I could live with that in my mind. If someone murdered my husband, I'd rather go with him. All in all, the Andy in my head shouldn't be sad. So why was he?

I hate dreams.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:24 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I swear, if I have another night of insomnia, I'm starting a fight club...

Posted by: Sarah at 03:47 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Ever since I wrote about my school dreams, I haven't had any. I have, however, participated in a plane crash, a bizarre conversation with a girl from my Brownie troop, and a Chinook ride to Taco Bell with my husband and Mike Penca. (RHS alums: I have no idea why Mike was with us. Haven't thought about him in nearly ten years.)

I've always hated bedtime. When I was a kid, I could never fall asleep. I'd read entire books, play games with a flashlight, and count up into the thousands. I was always that kid who was the last one awake at slumber parties. My husband and my best friend from college had a good laugh when they shared stories about how I could talk for hours on end at night. They've both fallen to sleep as I've droned on and on.

Lately I've been having trouble sleeping again, and nothing can help me. I took some NyQuil for my cold at about 7PM the other night and then got up again at 11 and took another dose. Even that can't put me out! And then when I finally do sleep, I have these ridiculous dreams that stress me out, like plane crashes.

My husband thinks I'm insane. The best part of his day is when he puts his head on that pillow. But I wish there were some sort of pill I could take to make 8 hours disappear and make myself feel rested without actually getting into bed.

Posted by: Sarah at 06:47 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Besides the dog, who drives me absolutely batty with his chewing and barking at construction workers outside our house, I don't really have any personal stress in my life right now. I don't have a job, I don't have any kids, and my only responsibility is to make a nice dinner and keep the house tidy. So why do I keep having the most stressful dreams?

Practically every single night since the beginning of September I have dreamed about school. Last year while I was subbing I used to have the Sub Nightmares all the time, and they started again about a week before I subbed in September. (Those are the ones where you show up and the teacher hasn't left you any instructions and you have to come up with something to teach all day.) But even after I quit subbing and haven't gotten called in a month, I have continued to have the nightmares. Sometimes I'm the sub, sometimes I'm a student, and once I was college roommates with one of the high school girls I abhored. Two nights ago I was back in high school: I forgot my locker combination and was late to physics. (For some reason, it's always physics when I'm the student, but at least I get to see all my high school buds and even Action Bruce -- jealous, Curt?) Last night I was a teacher trying to teach Moby Dick. No idea why. A few weeks ago I had to teach refraction of light through a prism.

So if I don't have any real stress in my life, why do I keep wigging out in my dreams? Why the constant forgot-to-do-my-homework panic when I don't have anything like that going on in my real life? I don't think that all dreams need to mean something, but I'm in class nearly every single night these days. I wake up all agitated, and I have this Reverse Reality thing going on where I have to calm myself down in the morning and remind myself that my real life is much less stressful than my sleep. What's the deal?

Sheesh, why can't I just build a go-cart with my ex-landlord?

Posted by: Sarah at 05:35 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 I think that as long as you're fully dressed in this dreams you'll be fine. I used to have the classic anxiety dreams about being late for class and not being able to find my room, and I was always either starkers or in my undies. It sounds to me like you just haven't adjusted to not teaching yet, and that it was a pretty traumatic experience. (Were you teaching on a base? Kids from military families?)

Posted by: Pericles at October 21, 2005 08:23 AM (EpPuP)

2 I'm jealous as long as you don't let Charlie chew your Action Bruce. You know I never got one of those...damnit Leenie! How could you forget me? Speaking of Leenie, I was at mile 23 cheering her on as she finished her first marathon the other weekend.

Posted by: Curtis at October 21, 2005 08:29 AM (lVKyj)

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Albert Pujols + bottom of the ninth = ecstatic husband and grumpy Deskmerc

Posted by: Sarah at 03:01 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Dear Bunker,

Mrs. Sims believes her husband sends her signs from above that he is watching down over her. I was thinking about these signs the other day when I opened my email junk folder and found an email from "Mike" with the subject line "hello". I knew it was spam, but for a minute I had a warm feeling that you were sending me a sign, just to say hi.

I've been reading The Federalist Papers, just like we discussed. Boy, do I wish you were here to urge me on. Would you mind too terribly if I skipped ahead a bit? I'm wading through the letters about the Articles of Confederation, but I'd rather be reading about the Constitution. Is it cheating to hop ahead to the good stuff?

A few days ago, the husband and I were naming all the places we want to visit once we get back to the US. Coming to pay our respects to you is close to the top of the list.

I miss you.
Sarah

P.S. John misses you too. We had a good talk about it recently. You touched so many of us...

Posted by: Sarah at 06:20 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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