When I was 15, I arranged a good surprise for my dad: tickets to a Three Dog Night concert in Peoria. I ordered the tickets and hid them behind my sock drawer (as if he would go snooping in my sock drawer anyway). The night of the concert, he drove us downtown while I directed from the passenger seat since I couldn't drive yet. As we rounded the corner onto Main Street, he looked at me and said, "We're not going to the strip club, are we?"

It was a great concert and a great night; I'll never forget my dad's confident look as he said, "The encore has to be Eli's Coming." I'll always remember that father/daughter outing.

Happy Birthday, Daddy.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:51 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 Would that be Big Al's? Not that I've been there or anything.......

Posted by: John at June 30, 2004 08:13 AM (crTpS)

2 Yes indeed I met a soldier here from Hoopeston, IL, who said he knew P-town because he used to go to Big Al's. That's a long drive...

Posted by: Sarah at June 30, 2004 08:27 AM (TLWyW)

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My in-laws called in a panic yesterday: since I hadn't done any blogging, something had to be wrong! Nothing's wrong really; I've just been in a funk lately I can't shake. I think I'm homelandsick.

While my husband is gone, I clean up his email and get rid of all the junk. Last week I noticed a folder with my name on it; closer inspection revealed it as Sarah in Sweden. I had no idea he had saved those old emails; I took a trip through the past, reading all my messages from my summer in Örnsköldsvik. And I was homelandsick then too...

I used to think that homesick was only the feeling of missing your family or loved ones. I thought I did not get homesick. But yesterday, I got a different kind of sick. I am homelandsick. I miss the United States. I want to use free bathrooms. I want to drink out of a cup that is bigger than a salt shaker. I want to eat chips and drink Pepsi. I want to drive somewhere instead of walking. I donÂ’t want to eat so many fruits and vegetables. I want to watch TV. I want to see baggy jeans and dirty white baseball caps. I want the sun to go down, so I can see lightning bugs. And I want to leave my shoes on in the house.

Today I boycotted Swedish meals and ate pizza and chips and salsa for lunch. Somehow this just hit me yesterday. My friends and I went on a trip along the coast. It was beautiful, and I took lots of beautiful photos.

But I miss corn fields and huge houses and horizon as far as the eye can see.

I think it was this Mudville post that started it. Maybe it's hearing other wives talk about their plans for trips home and knowing that I won't be going until my husband returns. Maybe it's 4th of July around the corner. Maybe it's everything. I just want to go home.

I wasn't kidding when I said I'd rather be golfing with Bunker. And I suck at golf. I think most people here would faint if they knew my husband and I tried to trade our Germany slot for Fort Hood, but I can't think of anything better right now than going to the Alamo. Or to Vegas. Or just to Subway.

I'm such a patriot that I can't stand to be out of my country for this long.

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1 Don't get too down. Things will pick back up for you. A friend just returned from visiting his daughter in Germany, and he was glad to be back. I'm the same way. There are just too many things in this country I haven't seen to go wandering around the world looking for more. I still haven't been to the Black Hills, and I want to see Yosemite again. Washington is one of my favorite cities in the entire world--so much to do there. I've been four times and still want more. I keep trying to plan a road trip from Corpus Christi through Big Bend to Vegas, then back along the northern route to the Grand Canyon, Painted Desert, then back to Corpus across the Llano Estacado and Comanche Country. There will be time for golf when you get back!

Posted by: Mike at June 28, 2004 01:39 PM (MqNKC)

2 Two weeks before the end of my semester abroad in Paris, a friend and I went to London for the weekend. In the 48 hours that we were there, we went to Starbucks five times, just because we were so homelandsick, and Starbucks was a comforting place--exactly the same as it in the U.S. I like traveling a lot, but I also love the States. Having your husband away probably makes being in removed from the U.S. that much harder, but having him back--and going back to the States with him--will be that much sweeter. PS--Yes, that website is mine.

Posted by: Carla at June 28, 2004 03:10 PM (r5M6F)

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For the record, my feelings for Red 6 are not weird. Yes, I did say I love him: he's like a third brother to me, and he says I'm like an extra sister-in-law to him. In our house we jokingly call him my second husband. My husband loves him as well, and he knows I have enough love in my heart at the end of the day for more than one soldier...

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A couple of years ago, before I started reading blogs, I saw a Dinner for Five where Sarah Silverman and Michael Rapaport were talking about how hard it is to be a Jew in Hollywood. I thought they were insane. I didn't exactly grow up surrounded by Jewish people, but I knew a few and I had never heard anyone say anything bad about Jews. In fact, I thought the Holocaust had pretty much taught us all a lesson.

Boy, was I wrong.

After two years of reading LGF, I know that I was wildly naive. I can't say if Silverman and Rapaport are discriminated against in Hollywood, but I will never again scoff at the plight of Jews in our world.

And these days I'm inclined to stop a moment and wonder if there indeed is a subliminal message in photos like this.

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I'm still struggling with my place in this world. (Boy, is that an understatement.) I've been stuck thinking about a quote from page four in my book for over a week now:

Seen in either geological or biological terms, we don't warrant attention as individuals.

I thought about that concept a lot when I was reading Cosmos too. I don't matter much. In the grand scheme of things, on the universe level, I'm laughable. But even on smaller levels I'm having a hard time figuring out my purpose in life, figuring out how I matter as an individual.

My husband is fighting an insurgency to try to create a stable democracy on the other side of the world. I teach people how to write. The absurdity of those two jobs juxtaposed makes me sick sometimes.

I'm the best military wife I know how to be. I write him a letter every day. Deskmerc said I have to make the country worth defending; I try to do that. I try to stay optimistic and positive, despite the fact that I haven't seen our post flag at anything but half-mast for months now. I can even be Edith Roosevelt if I have to, and I would if it came down to it. But there are many days when I'm simply not satisfied being a just a military wife.

I want to warrant more as an individual.

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I just got to instant messenger with the husband's best friend! It's so good to hear from him. He thanked me for being his "surrogate wife"; I told him it's twice as fun to have two soldiers to take care of (I send him two letters per week and I'm constantly running errands for him around here). I really miss him too; he was a regular fixture at 1830 when The Simpsons comes on. I can't wait to have both of my boys back in the house, drinking Newcastle and laughing like they haven't seen each episode a hundred times.

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As I drove home tonight, this song's lyrics hit me

Pride can stand a thousand trials
The strong will never fall
But watching stars without you
My soul cries

Today my husband said that he worries about me. I find that ironic, considering his situation is so much more worrisome than mine. He said he worries I'm bored and lonely without him; I told him I manage to keep quite busy but that I can't wait for him to come home so I can take care of him again. I'm watching stars without him, and my soul does cry at times, even though I wish it wouldn't.

I'm so thankful that blogging has brought me comfort. I have no children or pets, so the house can seem awful big for just me and that houseplant (which I did cut, by the way, and it looks great). But I haven't felt too lonely thus far because I can always run to the computer and visit all of my new friends. I'm grateful for each and every one of you. She who sends me postcards. He who made me a CD. She who wants to be a Marine. He who offered to tape the new episodes of Family Guy for my husband. She who makes commenting blunders. He whose family calls me his "girlfriend". She who thought she wasn't allowed to read my blog without my permission. He who's happy his children want to move to the US. She who IMs with me each morning. He who said I look cute in the tank. And all the rest who simply email and comment to express their support. I'm so grateful to have each and every one of you standing beside me through this deployment.

It makes watching stars without him a little more bearable.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:09 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Proud to be one of them!

Posted by: Mike at June 17, 2004 09:37 PM (+K53a)

2 I see that I am not the only one who thinks you're cute in the tank picture. It's one of the highlights of my day. I'm glad to be one of your supporters, as well. Just wish there was more I could do for you.

Posted by: NightHawk at June 17, 2004 10:10 PM (4JAaH)

3 Sarah, this entry and the one above hit me hard. Graduation was 3 weeks ago, so all my friends but one are gone. I'm going to be moving out of this apartment soon, so I've started packing up Sgt. A's stuff, washing old uniforms, going through photos...having his stuff around at once comforts and magnifies the absence. But luckily, there are people in the blogosphere who are going through the same thing. Thanks again. PS--I've always loved that Des'ree song.

Posted by: Carla at June 17, 2004 11:38 PM (r5M6F)

4 Yeah, Nerdstar worries about me, too. She hates that I worry about her, but I told her it's my job to worry, it's her job to stay safe! I usually have my yahoo IM running waiting to see if Nerdstar gets computer access, IM me sometime - bethlyn327

Posted by: Beth at June 18, 2004 01:25 PM (9gagj)

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We four families in our townhouse paid a neighborhood kid to mow our yard last night. I realized later that he makes more money than I do. One of my students told me that the baggers at the commissary make more as well. Dang.

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Imagine my surprise when I saw this story via Tim:
Two Army wives put careers on hold to aid injured soldiers at Landstuhl
I know Heather Twist; her husband was in OBC with mine. She's even commented a couple of times here on my blog. I'm particularly amazed that she has done this wonderful deed without "bragging"; I didn't even know about it until I read the article. Heather, I'm so proud to know you.

So how can I help?

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Carla wanted me to talk about my wedding. It was really pretty standard, I would say. We got married outside in my parents' backyard in Illinois. It was raining that morning, which made us all quite nervous, but by the afternoon it was perfect weather. We wanted the wedding to be more like a cook-out than a formal event, and I think it turned out pretty perfect.

The honeymoon was what was a real hoot, though. Because of scheduling problems that came up after 9/11, my husband was told a few weeks before graduation that he couldn't start active duty right away. We started our marriage with four months where neither of us was getting a paycheck. We paid for our plane tickets and hotel for a week in Washington D.C., and after that we were a little strapped for cash. I was actually just laughing about this the other day because as I was looking back through my planner, I saw all the notes in the calendar for the week of our honeymoon: I had kept track of every dollar we spent. There are notations like "$2 = bomb pops" and "$5 = lunch, hot dogs" that crack me up. We kept track of every cent we spent because we really started out with nothing. We've done well for ourselves, considering, and we don't ever plan to budget bomb pops again.

Those little notations are one of the best memories I have of getting married.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:06 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 How pretty! You both look so happy. Congratulations on your anniversary. :-)

Posted by: Princess Jami at June 15, 2004 05:30 PM (0gPLe)

2 Aw, I wasn't sure if you were actually going to do it. And a photo, too! The notations sound like a great scrapbook, of sorts. Congratulations again.

Posted by: Carla at June 15, 2004 10:00 PM (r5M6F)

3 I think a little 'hardship' at first is healthy - bonds you as a team to face it. I remember when we were first married we calculated how many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches we could get from a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly. And splurging at McDonald's when they had a promotion after xx years in business, with prices rolled back to what they were on opening day. As you say, fond memories.

Posted by: Glenmore at June 15, 2004 11:25 PM (NXHEP)

4 My Bride and I were married the weekend before we started our 3rd semester of our senior year at Tech. We spent our honeymoon driving from Dallas to Lubbock in "our" formerly her Yugo (the absolute pinnacle of Serbo-Croation technology) with most all of our possessions straing its three mighty cylinders. Both of us were in school and unemployed. We had nothing (suprisingly, I don't recall us having need of anything either) and mooched off of student aid until I took my commission at the end of the term. It was the richest, most prosperous time we could ever have imagined.

Posted by: Ed at June 16, 2004 11:00 AM (buCH+)

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I thought I'd try to simulate my husband's workweek by logging 56 work hours this week, 25 of which fall on Monday and Tuesday. I start teaching again tonight, and so I'm swamped.

I had a blog idea last night too, and I wrote it on a notepad by my bed. I'll be darned if I can't remember at all what it was...

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1 You are too young to be suffering with sometimerz disease. That's for us old folk.

Posted by: Mike at June 08, 2004 07:39 AM (cFRpq)

2 Mike, What's "sometimerz disease"? Whatever it is, Sarah, don't infect yourself with it. And if you can't blog much (or at all later) this week, I'll understand. Your jobs always come first. But do cut down if you can. Self-torture is not a virtue. Blue 6 knows you're thinking of him. You don't have to be like him.

Posted by: Amritas at June 08, 2004 09:29 AM (bDJgY)

3 ... well, you know what I meant by that last line, which wasn't "You should be his negative image Orange -6 and counter his every virtue with a vice." What I was trying to get at was this: He knows you feel for him; you don't have to empathize with him by putting yourself through 56 hours.

Posted by: Amritas at June 08, 2004 09:32 AM (bDJgY)

4 I'm afflicted with it...not quite Alzheimer's disease.

Posted by: Mike at June 08, 2004 02:13 PM (3b89y)

5 What's next, foregoing the fans and cranking up the heat until it's 110 degrees in your apartment? Don't tire yourself out TOO much, it probably helps his morale that at least one of you has fun every once in a while. (And, to inject a ME MOMENT - what will I read with my coffee?) Hope you're blogging again soon.

Posted by: Oda Mae at June 08, 2004 04:33 PM (FImW9)

6 Oda Mae, "What's next, foregoing the fans and cranking up the heat until it's 110 degrees in your apartment?" Hah! The weather forecast lists lows in the 40s for your part of Germany this coming weekend. Perhaps an engineer can figure out a way to bridge the 70 degree gap. Paging Den Beste ... Sarah, Blue 6 is probably trying to figure out a way to emulate YOUR lifestyle.

Posted by: Amritas at June 09, 2004 04:28 AM (V1KL+)

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My husband told me that he reads my blog every day when he has internet access. To be honest, that makes me a little self-conscious, since my husband is the smartest man in the world. (Yes, I know I've said the same thing about Den Beste, but we'll just have to live with that paradox.) He also said that, because of the nature of his mission in Iraq, he sees many wedding parties every Thursday, so there's no way the bombing on the Syrian border, on a Tuesday, was a wedding. No way at all.

If you're reading this, Blue 6, know that I love you. Also know that I'm pretty sure you fell asleep while I was telling you a story on the phone, and you're in big trouble, mister. Ha. Get some much-deserved rest and dream of crab rangoon and Captain Morgan. Soldier safe...

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I must've been worn out this week because I went to bed at 2300 last night and just woke up at 0930. Wow. I also had a weird dream where I, along with three other people I've never seen before, was invited to give a presentation on the military in front of Marc Miyake's class. And the students were booing and yelling at us, and saying things like, "Well, Michael Moore was in the military and he says..." and I was getting so mad. My frustration is seeping into my dreams.

I have also been living in Germany for a full year now this week. Before we moved to Germany, everyone told us that the weather would be really cold, even in the summer. So when we moved over here, we brought mostly long-sleeved shirts and jeans in our suitcases. We even brought sweaters. And it was so hot on the bus ride to our new post we could barely breathe. We spent a miserable two months before our household goods arrived rolling our jeans up to our knees and wearing the same short-sleeved shirts over and over.

And this year the weather is freezing. All week long I've worn sweaters, courderoy pants, and even a jacket. It just figures...

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See, I try to stay away, and it's just too tempting. I promised I wouldn't blog anything today, and then the most beautiful thing just happened. My doorbell rang, and I opened the door to four little girls. They handed me two drawings -- a flower and some stars and clouds. "Are these for me? Whatever for?" I asked. They said, "Sometimes we just like to make drawings and give them out to people." I talked to them for a little while, and then they headed off to the next doorbell with their stack of pictures. I put the pictures on the refrigerator and will smile every time I look at them. Those four little girls really brightened my day.

(So as long as I'm blogging, I have to point out that Tim has linked to many wonderful articles today -- especially the mysterious one he just calls "required reading" -- and had a very good post yesterday for Memorial Day.)

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