LT A's wife forwarded me this. She also wrote to say that LT A is having complications, so please keep him in your thoughts.

Military Spouses - There's a Difference

by Col Steven Arrington
Nellis Air Force Base

Over the years, I've talked a lot about military spouses ... how special they are and the price they pay for freedom too. The funny thing about it, is most military spouses don't consider themselves different from other spouses. They do what they have to do, bound together not by blood or merely friendship, but with a shared spirit whose origin is in the very essence of what love truly is. Is there truly a difference? I think there is. You have to decide for yourself.

Other spouses get married and look forward to building equity in a home and putting down family roots. Military spouses get married and know they'll live in base housing or rent, and their roots must be short so they can be transplanted frequently.

Other spouses decorate a home with flair and personality that will last a lifetime. Military spouses decorate a home with flare tempered with the knowledge that no two base houses have the same size windows or same size rooms. Curtains have to be flexible and multiple sets are a plus. Furniture must fit like puzzle pieces!

Other spouses have living rooms that are immaculate and seldom used. Military spouses have immaculate living room/dining room combos. The coffee table got a scratch or two moving from Germany, but it sill looks pretty good.

Other spouses say goodbye to their spouse for a business trip and know they won't see them for a week. They are lonely, but can survive. Military spouses say good-bye to their deploying spouse and know they won't see them for months, or for a remote, a year. They are lonely, but will survive.

Other spouses get used to saying 'hello' to friends they see all the time. Military spouses get used to saying 'good-bye' to friends made the last two years.

Other spouses worry about whether their child will be class president next year. Military spouses worry about whether their child will be accepted in yet another new school next year and whether that school will be the worst in the city again.

Other spouses can count on spouse participation in special events such as birthdays, anniversaries, concerts, football games, graduation, and even the birth of a child. Military spouses only count on each other; because they realize that the Flag has to come first if freedom is to survive. It has to be that way.

Other spouses put up yellow ribbons when the troops are imperiled across the globe and take them down when the troops come home. Military spouses wear yellow ribbons on their hearts and they never go away.

Other spouses worry about being late for Mom's Thanksgiving dinner. Military spouses worry about getting back from Japan in time for Dad's funeral.

And other spouses are touched by the television program showing an elderly lady putting a card down in front of a long, black wall that has names on it. The card simply says "Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. You would have been sixty today." A military spouse is the lady with the card. And the wall is the Vietnam memorial.

I would never say military spouses are better or worse than other spouses are. But I will say there is a difference. Our country asks more of military spouses than is asked of other spouses. Military spouses pay just as high a price for freedom as do their active duty husbands or wives. Perhaps the price they pay is even higher. Dying in service to our country isn't near as hard as loving someone who has died in service to our country, and having to live without them!

God bless our military spouses for all they freely give!

I like that: "the Flag has to come first if freedom is to survive." I'm proud to be lumped together with other military spouses.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:47 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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A battalion commander puts his finger on the nagging usch I've felt for Kerry:

I think the purple heart issue as it relates to Sen Kerrey [sic] speaks volumns about him as a leader. He was not a private, but a Lieutenant, a small unit leader. He was taught that as a leader his two critical tasks were; accomplish the mission, and welfare of his soldiers. No leader I know would ever dream of leaving their troops behind especially not on a technicality. 3 medals equals ticket home. A leader should represent Army values of duty, honor, and most importantly selfless service. His actions seem more selfish than selfless.

My husband won't even take R&R without the rest of his soldiers getting it; I can't help but feel contempt for someone who would go home and leave his brothers to fend for themselves.

MORE TO GROK:

More two cents on Kerry's leadership.

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One Marine groks the same way I do:

Now we are on the verge of victory or defeat in Iraq. Success depends not only on battlefield superiority, but also on the trust and confidence of the American people. I've read some articles recently that call for cutting back our military presence in Iraq and moving our troops to the peripheries of most cities. Such advice is well-intentioned but wrong - it would soon lead to a total withdrawal. Our goal needs to be a safe Iraq, free of militias and terrorists; if we simply pull back and run, then the region will pose an even greater threat than it did before the invasion. I also fear if we do not win this battle here and now, my 7-year-old son might find himself here in 10 or 11 years, fighting the same enemies and their sons.

When critics of the war say their advocacy is on behalf of those of us risking our lives here, it's a type of false patriotism. I believe that when Americans say they "support our troops," it should include supporting our mission, not just sending us care packages. They don't have to believe in the cause as I do; but they should not denigrate it. That only aids the enemy in defeating us strategically.

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I feel really sorry for these VFW guys. They feel so absolutely betrayed by John Kerry. Forget the Purple Hearts; Kerry came home and denounced his brothers in arms. I can't even imagine how it must feel to be a Vietnam vet who sees Kerry cash in on the war hero image.

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1 I feel for them too, and I certainly hope that the his after-vietnam actions are brought more into focus. This more than anything will damage him. I know alot of vets that feel we would not have 'lost' vietname if it wasn't for the likes of the anti-war movement. Why the hell would we want to elect one of the principle anti-war players from that era to lead this country during a time of war? Do we want to 'lose' another one?

Posted by: John at August 20, 2004 08:26 AM (crTpS)

2 "I certainly hope that the his after-vietnam actions are brought more into focus." They are more certain than whatever he did in Vietnam. "Why the hell would we want to elect one of the principle anti-war players from that era to lead this country during a time of war?" Because he's not Dumbya. "Do we want to 'lose' another one?" Wouldn't it be worth it if only Dumbya were gone? The whole world would love us. Iran would never bother us again after we give them the nuclear fuel they need. /LLL

Posted by: Amritas at August 20, 2004 08:42 AM (MhqjV)

3 For once, I agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Posted by: rfidtag at August 20, 2004 11:02 AM (XxIKf)

4 IMHO his actions after his return is where the focus needs to be. The medals are awarded, can't change that (I don't think) but his actions afterwards speak volumes. He betrayed his brothers in arms. He turned against everything they stood for. How do we know he won't betray us in the same way? My thoughts, once burned twice shy. I have no faith in him at all. But then again, that's just MHO

Posted by: Tammi at August 20, 2004 01:18 PM (4Ls5e)

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Thus, I expect to see Germans, the French, Spaniards, the Dems and others dancing on the streets and boulevards as soon Europe is liberated from those unwelcome foreigners.

Keep dreaming, Nelson. I have heard so much whining lately about the poor German economy that it's not even funny. They hate us to death, but they sure don't want us to leave. Oh, poor Kitzingen, where one in three inhabitants is American. Their poor gasthauses will have to close. Cry me a river.

I saw a military commercial tonight that basically said "don't start packing just yet", but I'm ready.
Send me to Texas.

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1 Off Topic, but go look at the 8/18 "Nation" section of the Wash. Times, and their take on Kerry's visit to the VFW convention. Also see the same date and Thursday's WT for excerpts from the "Unfit" book. I'm convinced. Also, Sarah, BE SURE and get everybody there registered and lined up with absentee ballots!! See the base's Voting Assistance Officer. We need to not let him win! Jim

Posted by: Jim Shawley at August 19, 2004 04:28 PM (CnYsu)

2 Maybe Maryland, it's kinda nice. If you're really unlucky it'll be the NTC. Having lived nearby, well, it's spaghetti western desert out that way. Kalroy

Posted by: Kalroy at August 19, 2004 06:38 PM (q1aeu)

3 Yay! Come to Texas! I already know a few people who have moved here for similar reasons. Most people think we're crazy, but we like to think that we're the only sane people left in the world. While I admit that we're not without our problems, coming home from Chicago or anywhere else is always a truly wonderful thing (as long as the air conditioner's working).

Posted by: Jeremiah at August 19, 2004 09:10 PM (0FAew)

4 Blech, you don't want to come to Hood. I miss Germany, I wish they were not changing stuff, I would love to go back, but with less than 5 years left, I doubt it would happen anyways.

Posted by: Jen at August 20, 2004 01:41 AM (n8GLX)

5 Actually, we *do* want to go to Hood. In fact, we tried to trade our Germany for someone else's Hood, but since we didn't have a pinpoint assignment until a week before we left, we couldn't. Where you live is all "state of mind", and I'd rather be in the dumpiest, most run-down post in the US than on the nicest one in Europe.

Posted by: Sarah at August 20, 2004 01:47 AM (nQmE2)

6 Here's the URL to paste for the comment on Kerry's speech to VFW http://www.washingtontimes.com/national/20040817-112443-7056r.htm

Posted by: Oda Mae at August 20, 2004 02:08 AM (JJnLz)

7 The only connection I have to the military is my brother, who's in the Navy, so I can't tell you much about Hood (although I have been to Gitmo...heh) from the inside, but I can tell you that it *is* comparatively isolated. Austin, one of the best cities in America, is only a short (for Texas) drive away, though. Waco's close, too, and it's not so bad aside from select wackos who are attracted to its anonymity (it's no Austin, though).

Posted by: Jeremiah at August 20, 2004 09:46 AM (0FAew)

8 Ms Sarah: We would welcome your and your valiant husband with open arms here in Texas... and don't forget... EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas!

Posted by: Madfish Willie at August 20, 2004 10:03 AM (f4tF1)

9 Sarah, you are welcome to come to my house on the coast to rest up. I just got back from a month in Australia, I was so homesick for Texas accents, live oaks, and real newspapers, (theirs are all tabloids).

Posted by: Ruth H at August 20, 2004 01:14 PM (Zpif2)

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1. the first time you look at someone's lapel and address him with the correct rank

2. the first time you see a full bird on a lapel

3. the first time you see an Airman and have no idea how to address him

4. the first time you see a Marine and wonder what in the heck is wrong with his blurry camoflauge

5. the first time you correctly call it a weapon instead of a gun

6. the first time you correctly call it a post instead of a base

7. the first time you use military terminology that makes your husband say, "Where did you learn that?"

8. the first time you realize that your friends from back home have no idea what you're talking about

9. the first time you get a hooah when you're teaching grammar

10. and the pinnacle: the first time you explain to a soldier the difference between his AARTS and his ATAARS

Anyone got any other good firsts?

MORE:

Carla reminded me of one. How about

11. the first time you spell something out in the military alphabet without stumbling

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I just watched A Few Good Men for the first time since I learned anything about the military. It's not sitting well with me. The moral dilemma is disconcerting, it's a lose-lose situation, and in the end I have no idea what I think. What do you do if you're a servicemember who's given an unlawful order? If you disobey, you may be punished. If you obey, you may be punished. That's a frightening dilemma. Sometimes there's what's right and what's right, and never the twain shall meet.

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What started out as a humorous post has turned into a debate about our military wounded. Interested in joining this comments section?

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Tanker sent me this article: Army finds no lack of recruits for infantry
As an aside, my students were cracking up a few weeks ago talking about the Blue to Green Program. Now I'm Army all the way, but that program does make me giggle a bit.

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There's an interesting discussion going on at Tim Blair's blog about Michael Moore's claim that more Congressmen should send their kids to Iraq. There are all sorts of discussions going on (and lots of tangents being taken), but a comment by Sam caught my eye:

... The bottom line, sure it would be nice if more of the congressmen had a personal link to Iraq so that they could take that into account when making decisions. But as congressmen one would expect they would do that any way. ...

I'm thinking I'd like to disagree here. I would like Congressmen to acknowledge how this war affects individual families and soldiers, but I'm not sure it's appropriate for them to look at the war through a more personal lens. What's good for individual persons is not always good for the country. If the war becomes too personal for our leaders, they might have trouble making the tough decisions. I see that happening a fair amount around here with wives' voting intentions: they want to vote for whoever will bring their husbands home. Instead of what's best for the country as a whole or what's best for Iraq, they just want their Soldiers home at any cost. I personally don't think that's a principled stance. In the military, the country should always come before the self.

Yes, I want Congress to fund body armor and HMMWVs because they keep our Soldiers and Marines safe, but I don't want them to make decisions based on emotion. If a larger number of them had children in Iraq, there's a chance it could cloud their judgement about what's best for the country.

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U.N. Must Rely on U.S.-Led Force to Protect Iraq Envoy Because No Countries Offer Troops, Annan Says

Heh.

(via Sir George)

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Navy Capt. Roger Dean Edwards was sentenced to 115 days in jail and fined $7,500. He might end up forced from military service, defrocked as an Episcopal priest and face at least a suspension of his Virginia pharmacy license. What was his crime? Wearing military ribbons he didn't earn. Military honors are taken quite seriously, which is why anyone who believes in what those ribbons stand for should be quite appalled that John Kerry chose to throw his away.

(via Smash)

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When my husband's best friend, Red 6, was in the firefight in Baqubah, an article was written in the Christian Science Monitor and his photo appeared in a BBC slideshow. I read that CSM article, trying to get a sense of what he was going through. Today I read a different article that gives me a much better, more personal feeling of the fight.

An artist named Steve Mumford has been living and painting in Iraq. He writes about being a civilian participating in that battle in Baqubah:

IÂ’m thinking: tenuous as my bonds are with these men, IÂ’ve been with them through this much, it would seem cowardly to pull out now. Perhaps I want their approval, the damn reporter, as Sgt. Cliat called me, without malice, when he didnÂ’t know I was right behind him. Or perhaps I feel guilty that I have the luxury of deciding not to get back on the 113.

I recognize many of these names, and Red 6 plays a prominent role in the article. I recognize the Army Values that shine through ("You donÂ’t never go backwards in a firefight! Move this fucking thing forward! Forward!"). And the artwork is beautiful.

If you know and love the Dukes of 3rd Brigade like I do, then you must read this article. If you want to get to know them, this is an exciting place to start.

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VDH writes about our military cemeteries in St. Avold, France:

The inscriptions at American graveyards admonish the visitor to remember sacrifice, courage, and freedom; they assume somebody bad once started a war to hurt the weak, only to fail when somebody better stopped them.

I've been to St. Avold, on Veteran's Day, led by two old men who understood Joe and Tommy's sacrifice. My distant relatives from Lorraine, who lost a brother in WWII, took me to see the greatest generation that slumbers beneath French soil, at a time when that unfortunately didn't mean as much to me as it does now. That rainy day in November 1998 I was more amused than anything as these two septuagenarians insisted that we talk to every cemetery director and guard so that they could introduce me as their cousine américaine. They were so proud to be sharing Armistice Day with an American, and I was a dumb kid who didn't appreciate their enthusiasm.

One of those grateful old men passed away last fall, and I was too stubborn to go see him. Only today did I realize that I let my hatred of France prevent me from paying respect to a good and decent man. I let things like this get in the way of family and honor. I realize that I have been so angry at our former allies that I refused to go say goodbye to a dear old man, and all of a sudden I feel ashamed.

The men of St. Avold would've wanted me to behave better.

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My friend's husband bought a bootleg copy of Fahrencrap 9/11 in Iraq. He said he watched it three times and laughed his ass off the whole time. When I heard that, I managed a bemused smile: I'm amazed with this guy's confidence to laugh in Michael Moore's face. I've spent so much time getting angry about this movie that it was refreshing to hear that one soldier thought Fahrencrap 9/11 was a comedy.

Too bad not all soldiers are reacting the same way...

Michael Moore has never claimed to support the troops, but a lot of Americans who have gone to see this movie are the same ones who "support the troops but think the war was wrong". To those viewers, I say congratulations: you've now put $100 million in Moore's pocket and doubt and pessimism in our servicemembers' minds. Well done.

(via LGF)

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I can't find anything in the news yet, but we had some excitement here yesterday. As they were doing construction work, they came upon a bomb...a WWII-era undetonated bomb. They had to evacuate the whole area and try to diffuse and move this enormous bomb. Apparently these finds are not that rare here in Germany, but it seemed exciting to me.

So I was thinking as I drove to class last night: That bomb stayed hidden for a good 60 years and no one ever knew it was there. But we're supposed to find WMDs within a year in Iraq...

MORE TO GROK:

My German co-worker found an article in the German news, complete with a photo of the bomb.

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1 When I click on your link at work, the "dragon" keeps me out and filters the site, which comes up under 'sex'. What the heck kind of newspaper is this? Secondly, you DEFUSE a bomb. If you diffuse it, well, that could be a bad thing.

Posted by: Oda Mae at July 23, 2004 08:35 AM (FmIVz)

2 Link works just fine for me...it's just the Oberpfalznetz site. Anyone else having a problem with it? And thanks for the vocab lesson!

Posted by: Sarah at July 23, 2004 09:21 AM (0+gNs)

3 "That bomb stayed hidden for a good 60 years and no one ever knew it was there. But we're supposed to find WMDs within a year in Iraq" hee hee hee that is too funny, just think in 2064 some people will come across the pile of WMD in Iraq and liberals will finally say "ok, so Bush didn't lie"

Posted by: Machelle at July 23, 2004 12:25 PM (ZAyoW)

4 Well, the operative word here ofcourse is 'hidden'. 'Hidden' (1) is the result of actively keeping something away from people who are looking for it, but since someone hid it, someone knows where it is. Hidden (2) is what happens after you riddle a country with bombs (usually digging deep into the soil) and build houses over the duds, i.e. you weren't looking for it. The second one is interesting, because the sarin shells that were found were of that category.

Posted by: Sander at July 23, 2004 03:37 PM (3nJmx)

5 I had problems bring up the article, but it was on the main page, so I finally got there. I love Babelfish. "Experts of the blowing up command ..."

Posted by: homebru at July 23, 2004 09:59 PM (+pY9j)

6 As I recall it was only a couple of years ago they found a hidden hanger under the Berlin airport. Can't build an underground hanger and move a bunch of fighters into it without somebody knowing it was there (without a lot of somebodies), but it stayed hidden all these years.

Posted by: Kalroy at July 24, 2004 04:02 AM (VU2TV)

7 Very true, Kilroy. It's the age old question of proving a negative. However, the case of the WMD's is slightly different. As you may recall, (1) Rumsfeld said they knew where the weapons were, (2) there were many defectors telling them about the programs, (3) there is no reason for former government scientist to not tell about them, also because there was and is a big reward, (4) many said (like Thomas Friedman) the UN inspectors couldn't find them because they didn't have unrestricted access (see also resolution 1441), so with unrestricted access (after invading) we were bound to find them and (5) the various commissions have concluded that (5a) pre-war intelligence was screwed up and (5b) that there was at least some sexing-up to bolster the case for war. It is very very doubtful that anything but some stray shells (hidden(2)) will show up, so I believe the most positive interpretation is: 'Great, Iraq was not a threat'. How this affects your judgment of the necessity of war, is a different matter.

Posted by: Sander at July 25, 2004 09:35 AM (3nJmx)

8 err... apologies, I mean 'Kalroy'.

Posted by: Sander at July 25, 2004 09:38 AM (3nJmx)

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Red 6, the husband's best friend, was involved in this battle. That's where this photo was taken. My boys are doing serious and dangerous work, yet they continue to stay upbeat and optimistic.

Soldier safe, boys...

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Yay for the Iraqi Army! Thanks, John.

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There's an article in the Stars and Stripes today humorously called Morale in Iraq ranges from low to gung-ho. The article seems to capture what I imagine is a true sense of morale in Iraq.

In many places, the emotional and physical rebuilding of Iraq is well under way and troops feel appreciated. But almost daily, far from the ribbon-cuttings and candy giveaways, an improvised bomb or missile kills another American servicemember.

I had an email exchange recently with Randy, a deployed Guardsman. He apologized for sounding frustrated, but I said his complaints sounded valid to me. Maybe it's because I hear my husband make many of the same observations, so the problems must be real. I know that Randy and I have "common ground" -- he respects the Army, he doesn't shirk his duty -- so I appreciate hearing his valid criticisms. It doesn't sound any different than the stuff I hear from my husband; I just don't post it because that's his business. I admit my blog might make it sound like everything is peaches and candy for my family, but staying optimistic is the way I cope with the deployment. It's a way of dealing with the fact that my husband is still sleeping outside, doesn't get enough food, and is only getting four hours of sleep each night. If I dwelled on how bad that sucks, I'd worry myself sick. Instead I try to focus on the Big Picture aspect of the deployment and remind myself that my husband's suffering (and my breaking heart) have to be worth a democratic Iraq.

General Kimmitt went on to make an astute observation:

But he added that having good morale and being happy arenÂ’t the same things.

“Do we have a right to be happy? No,” Kimmitt said. “It gets real hot around here. There are people shooting at you.

“In my case, there are people who will give $15 million if somebody cuts off my head and gives it to them. Does that make me happy? No. Do I have high morale? Yes.

“They [soldiers] are 19 years old,” Kimmitt said. “They’d rather be back home bird-dogging chicks and fixing their car but they’re not.

“They’re in a country that’s going through a hell of a transition and they are here to do what they’ve got to do to help.

“And they’re putting their lives on the line to do it and that’s not fun and that’s not easy.”

I hate to be "the girl who compares everything to Band of Brothers", but watching that series has personally given me enormous perspective. Easy Company was deployed for two years; they fought on D-Day, parachuted again as part of Operation Market Garden, held the front line at Bastogne, liberated a concentration camp, and made it to Eagle's Nest for the end of the war in Europe. They then started training to head to the Pacific, though the war actually ended before they were deployed. Easy Company, a company that suffered 150% casualties, has been my own personal source of morale. My husband doesn't have as much food as I'd like, but he doesn't have trenchfoot and he doesn't have to be gone for two years. Looking backwards in time at how our elders went to war has made me grateful for the hand we've been dealt today.

I'm sure Easy Company would've rather been bird-dogging chicks too. But instead they cowboyed up and became one of the most heroic stories of all time.

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My husband just called and told me about his new job: working with the Iraqi police in Najaf. It sounds like this job is much more rewarding than guard duty, though it can be frustrating for both the Iraqis and the Americans at times. He said a lot of what he's doing is motivation, speaking encouragingly to both Iraqi teens and the police. He said the police chief has really taken to him and they talk often. The police chief is frustrated about the situation in Najaf; he said that civilians sometimes come up to him and hit him with their slippers. He said (not a direct quote), "Back in Saddam's days, if you hit the police with your slipper, your whole family would be dead. But here I am, getting hit with slippers." Sometimes the police chief speaks a little too fondly of the law and order under Hussein, at which point my husband reminds him that Saddam killed many people. "Yeah, I guess he did kill my uncle..." the police chief admits. My husband said that they receive lots of praise from Iraqis in Najaf. The Iraqis are always telling them how brave they are and saying they're happy that the US came. They also say the Americans are good people for trying to avoid hitting their monuments and holy sites. Sometimes the Iraqis get frustrated and beg the Americans to just go in and kill all of the insurgents and get it over with, but my husband patiently explains why they can't do that. My husband said that the people he works with are very supportive, but that they all, Americans and Iraqis, spend a lot of time being frustrated.

I told him it was great to hear these stories because we here can lose sight of how regular Iraqis are feeling. We get so much gloom and doom. I'm glad I got to hear firsthand from him that the Iraqi men he works with are supportive and honorable.

MORE TO GROK:

Good analogy. Incidentally, all of fad's posts that I love are the ones he wants to delete...

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