I read something recently about how the Left's obsession with naked protest is a sign we're from different planets; I can't paraphrase it right now because I can't remember where I read it. (If you know what I'm talking about and can help me with a link, I'd appreciate it. I found this instead, which is good but not what I was looking for.) I thought it was funny when I read it, but then I saw something today that I know comes from another planet.

Cerberus managed to dig up a mind-boggling article about a concert in Norway where two people came on stage and...we're not making this up...had sex in order to save the rainforest. (Be warned, the link has dirty photos.) If that is not the most absurd thing you've ever heard, I don't know what is. Turns out they belong to an "organization":

The young couple, Tommy Hol Ellingsen, age 28, and Leona Johansson, age 21, are members of the environmental organization "F*ck for Forest." They have sex in public in order to put focus on the rainforest.

"TodayÂ’s environmentalists have become more politicians than idealists," Ellingsen said to TV 2 Nettavisen. "We want to bring forth the message with attitude."

According to the organizationÂ’s website, "'F*ck for forest' are concerned youngsters, fighting to preserve the environment. We believe it is possible to use peopleÂ’s need for sexuality as a way to raise money for nature."

Hahahahaha. And it gets even better: the Rainforest Foundation Norway doesn't want to accept their dirty money, even though their little sex shows have raised close to $14,000.

Oh my goodness, I couldn't laugh harder. Thanks, Cerberus.

Posted by: Sarah at 10:58 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Bad guys: 1
Good guys : 0
Thanks, Michael Moore.

MORE TO GROK:

It's interesting that Bubba wrote "I resent that some will be willing to call me 'traitor' when they haven't served one fricking minute, but that is life I suppose" because my students and I were discussing that very idea last night.

We were discussing logical fallacies, and one of the examples of begging the question was "If you haven't written short stories, you shouldn't be criticizing them." I asked my active duty students if they thought that the same idea applied to soldiering was also begging the question.

They started talking about how criticism of the war doesn't really bother them, unless it's mission specific (e.g. you should have done this differently in Fallujah) and the speaker has no military background. They said that general criticism doesn't matter much to them. I then asked about the flipside: chickenhawks. They laughed and said that sometimes it's irritating to hear people be overly hooah when they don't actually have to pick up the rifle and head down there. One student said it's especially annoying to hear Congress do this. Nonetheless, they seemed to agree that this still fell under the begging the question fallacy.

In class, I preface everything I say with the general disclaimer "I've never been in the military, but from my point of view...". I don't want to be seen as one of those irritating hooah people, though I've sorta earned the right seeing as my own husband's life is at stake. And if I could click my heels together and have already been through basic training, I'd go down there in a heartbeat; the problem is the getting there. If I enlisted today, it would be a long road to war, and my schedule would not match up with my husband's. I am perfectly content to have a military family, but a dual-military family includes headaches I'm not sure I want to face. Right now there are too many couples who won't see each other for four years because of alternating deployment rotations, and I don't want to put my family in that position. Thus I remain hooah from the sidelines.

Anyway...begging the question? I don't know. My students seemed to say yes.

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Tim offered a touching analogy for the handover to Iraq: "kinda like being tossed the keys to a brand new convertible and being told to take her out for a spin." Naturally, being the dork that I am, I thought of the scene where the Karate Kid got his license and he took off in the yellow convertible, with Mr. Miagi yelling BANZAI! as he drove away. I like the idea of being Mr. Miagi.

(Oh, and speaking of The Kid, this is hysterical.)

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I now introduce a new segment here at trying to grok that I like to call

Make-Up and Houseplants

My younger cousin was Junior Miss Oklahoma. She's got the pageant thing down cold, and when I told her I don't really do such a good job with make-up, so agreed to give me a hand. I told her I can't wear eye make-up because it looks funny, so she grabbed her supplies and went to town. Five minutes later she was staring at me with a that's-not-right look on her face and said, "Well, maybe you're right." Even Junior Miss Oklahoma can't fix me up!

And I have this houseplant I bought last summer. Actually, I hung it outside until my neighbor kindly told me it would die in direct sunlight. How are we supposed to know these things? I brought it inside and hung it from the ceiling, and it's almost touching the floor. I babysat the wrinkly puppy on Sunday, and he kept biting the vines and tugging on them. I don't know what to do with it.

(Psssst. Are the mean ones gone yet?)

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1 I've seen some droppings here and there, I think most of them are gone, but there are still a few stragglers. I should come up with a troll repellent spray or something.

Posted by: John at June 16, 2004 03:52 AM (crTpS)

2 Sarah, Junior Miss Oklahoma can't fix you up because there's nothing to fix. You don't need makeup. Beauty is already in your DNA. At least you haven't killed your plant yet. I may have done that. I'd rather think the plant died on me, but that could just be denial on my part. John, Put Spectra Troll-Away Spray on the market and become a millionnaire.

Posted by: Amritas at June 16, 2004 05:38 AM (qu1yZ)

3 I think makeup is overused by almost every woman who wears it. Most don't need it, but have been conditioned to put it on anyway. Stick to what works for you, and don't be intimidated by anyone who says you're lazy because you don't spend hours primping. That's why I wear a short flattop...a washcloth combs it for the day!

Posted by: Mike at June 16, 2004 07:36 AM (cFRpq)

4 You don't need the makeup, pure and simple.

Posted by: Tammi at June 16, 2004 08:06 AM (rCTjQ)

5 Cut the vines! It's that easy, really. From trial and error I found that plants can be cut shorter and live to tell about it.

Posted by: Machelle at June 16, 2004 10:22 AM (ZAyoW)

6 The only makeup I can wear is mascara, and I don't even need to cause my lashes are already long. When I have put makeup on (maybe 3 times in as many years), my kid doesn't like it. He says I don't look like Mom. Lipstick freaks him out, and I hate that goop anyway! Beauty comes from inside anyway! P.S. I was busy and didn't catch the flamefest til it was over. In the great words of RWR, "Don't let the turkeys get you down."

Posted by: MargeinMI at June 16, 2004 10:41 AM (tlRrY)

7 Hi Sarah, You can definitely trim the plant, as Machelle says. You can take off half the length or more; if you keep it trimmed, you'll see that it gets bushier at the top, rather than having long spindly things. Or, if it's already bushy, then a little trimming won't hurt at all--it sounds plenty healthy.

Posted by: Carla at June 16, 2004 11:58 AM (r5M6F)

8 Somoe American guys like makeup. Most - no. My husband? NO!! I took him home to Georgia for my sister's wedding and he looked at all her American bridesmaids and said "ooh, they look like kabuki dolls!" Totally true and right on the money. Needless to say, I don't worry about the blush to foundation ratio.

Posted by: Oda Mae at June 16, 2004 04:46 PM (sFThJ)

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Charles Johnson made an LGF drinking game the other day; I think I could make a pretty good one out of the comments section here.

1. Any time someone calls me a rude name, drink.

2. Any time someone calls me unfit to teach, drink.

3. Any time someone gives me a stats lesson, drink.

4. Any time someone mistakenly calls me "he", drink.

5. Any time someone tells me to go back to school, drink.

6. Any time someone writes nearly the exact same thing someone else said previously, drink.

We'll all be trashed before the end of the post.

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The other day on the phone, my husband told me about the many young Iraqi boys who have learned English over the past year by hanging around Soldier checkpoints. He said they're there every day and that their English is really quite good, despite never having had formal instruction. However, they're also picking up the foul language that comes with soldiering, so it's not uncommon to hear a string of swear words or a horrifying insult come out of these teens. "Now there's your cultural cross-pollination," my husband quipped.

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As my neighbor said the other day, "There's only one thing worse than a cuckoo clock: a real cuckoo." We have one; he lives in our neighborhood and starts singing when the sun comes up. Unfortuately, at this time of year that's at about 0530. And a clock only cuckoos twelve times...

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I was just cleaning out my husband's email account, and I found a spam that said "$100 worth of FREE GAS for [husband's name]". No thanks. Since he's fighting in the war, I assume we'll get in on the ground floor of the blood-for-oil deals...

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I've gotten lots of questions about my geek stuff, so here's some explanation.

10. LDS

No, I'm not Mormon. But I had some friends who are Mormon growing up, and I went to several functions at their church, as well as visiting Nauvoo and Carthage. I also did my term paper senior year of high school on Joseph Smith, so I know a whole lot about LDS for not being Mormon.

9. Alias

In itself not geeky, but seeing as I watched the entire first two seasons (42 hours of it) in two weeks is really, really geeky.

8. statistics (the fun stuff like the Monty Hall problem or the Birthday problem)

This predates my current book choices (How to Lie With Statistics and How We Know What Isn't So); my old roommate was a stats grad student and would wow me with stats problems. I can't wait to take stats when it's offered here on post.

7. Yukio Mishima

Found him through the short story "Patriotism" and was absolutely floored by that story. Read two of his biographies in one weekend. Amritas is right; the author is more interesting than his novels, but I own all of them.

6. Armyspeak

I read the Army Officer's Handbook from cover to cover and have tried very hard to learn everything there is to know: MOSs, Army alphabet, vehicle identification, etc.

5. Swedish language

My husband always teases me: "You chose to learn a language that only 9 million people speak, and all of them speak English?"

4. rap music

In itself not geeky, but pretty odd for a white girl college prof to have been to a Snoop Dogg concert.

3. Chief Illiniwek

I really got into this debate at the University of Illinois and have read every transcript and article about the issue.

2. knitting

I finished a project last night during the first 45 minutes of Rocky, and it was really hard for me to sit through the rest of the movie without knitting something.

1. the Karate Kid Trilogy

I know everything about these movies.

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On the way to work today I found a balm for my frustration with the world: Tenacious D.

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John Hawkins had me in stitches:
If The Media Treated Basketball Games Like They Treat The War On Terror

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Went to the gym and cleaned the entire upstairs, including a much-needed thorough job on the two bathrooms, all before lunch. I rule.

Another thing that's much needed: humor.

DO stick to your principles while still considering what the other person says.
DON'T pile drive the other person into a folding table when you find a topic you vehemently disagree on. Though it would be cool, it's just not civil.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:43 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Yes, I know this feeling:

It's the feeling I get every time I encounter an idiotarian.

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1 /idiotarian hat on "Don't blame US for those Halliburton-made nails! They and the gun that spewed them into that poor proletarian are products of Waste-rn capitalist 'culture'! How dare you use such evil items to refer to us in a metaphor! If we returned to the ways of Mother Earth, we wouldn't need nails - just caves! And we wouldn't need your 'doctors' which removed the nails. On the contrary, we welcome injury and death. It keeps our numbers low. Gaia doesn't like it when too many of us trample upon Her soil." /idiotarian hat won't come off - it's nailed on!

Posted by: Amritas at May 08, 2004 08:17 AM (i2TJK)

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As an ESL teacher, I love when a non-native speaker incorrectly uses an English expression. These instances can range from lewd to cute, but they're always good excuses for language learning and laughter.

Today a German man who works in my building came in our office and was asking my co-worker about baby lotion. He asked me about it, and I told him that I don't know anything about babies. He responded, "I don't either, but my sister just came down with one. Wait, that's not the expression..." Hysterical. Indeed, after eating dinner last week with my neighbors' three year old, one year old, ten month old, and six month old, I would not be too content if I came down with a child right now either!

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Apparently Muslims in California are mad that Gov. Schwarzenegger is on a trip to Israel. Here's what one has to say:

“It’s his prerogative to visit, but he should be fair to all races and religions,” said Mohammed Abdullah, 46, a Palestinian-American who works as a butcher in Anaheim.

That's mighty funny, considering Islam is most certainly not fair in terms of race or religion. I'm filing this one under "Humor".

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First Spain, then Honduras, and now the Dominican Republic.

Do you remember when Stan contracted vaginitis? Seems there's an epidemic going around the Spanish-speaking countries.

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A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A fellow came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "130." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, investments, insurance, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool." Another gent came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man responded, "100." So the robot started talking about football, baseball, and so on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool." A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "70." The robot then asked, "So, are you Democrats really going to nominate John Kerry?"

HAHAHAHAHA...

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The Friday, er early-Saturday, Five

I've never done one of these, but this one at Triticale caught my eye. Any opportunity to rave about my students will be taken.

1. What do you do for a living?

I work as a college registrar for an overseas branch of an American university that offers college classes to overseas-stationed and deployed servicemembers. Currently I am also teaching my first term of ENGL 101 (and just Wednesday got hired to teach it again next term.)

2. What do you like most about your job?

Working with students who want to be there. For the average college student in the US, college is just something you do right after high school, and any excuse to miss class is welcomed. In contrast, my students now are doing everything they can to squeeze in courses. Most of them are on block leave after returning from a year in Iraq, and rather than use that month to go on a vacation or go home to the US, they've chosen to stay and get some courses taken with their free time. The ones who are not on leave hate to miss class for a day at the range or an unexpected CLass A inspection. They're working 40-50 hours per week and still manage to come to class nearly every day (during their lunch hour!), turn in their assignments, and turn in optional re-writes on their papers the very next day. Some of my students used to be in jail or in gangs, and they appreciate the value of getting their education and making a better life for themselves in a way that regular college kids could never understand. (See also here and here for why I love my students.)

3. What do you like least about your job?

I have a master's degree and I make less than $15,000 per year. But pickins are slim on an overseas post, especially when you insist on working in higher education. You take what you can get.

4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because...

As a registrar, it's when someone barks at me for something I have no control over, like a soldier arguing with me because I can't give him copies of sensitive documents.

5. What other career(s) are you interested in?

19K

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When we were registering for wedding gifts, the only thing my husband wanted was a waffle iron. I thought that was a good idea; my dad made us waffles often when we were kids, and I thought the idea of making waffles for our kids in the future sounded charming and traditional. So we got the waffle iron, and we make waffles quite often, though I hate cleaning the waffle iron just as much as I hate cleaning the George Foreman. Now that my husband is gone, I don't make waffles just for myself, but I can't wait for the day he comes home next year so I can start making him waffles again.

(If you don't get the joke, see here.)

MORE TO GROK: Spectra called my husband Mr. Grok the other day. That's kinda cute. Actually, I like LT Grok; maybe I'll start calling him that instead of "the husband" in the future.

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I forgot to mention that the other night in German class, while practicing reflexive verbs, my teacher asked me Kämmen Sie sich vor dem Spiegel? (Do you brush your hair in front of the mirror?) and thought I was joking when I answered Nein, ich kämme mich vor dem Computer.

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1 Ich lachte vorm Computer.

Posted by: Princess Jami C at April 16, 2004 01:22 PM (0gPLe)

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