If this headline isn't the most hysterical thing you've ever seen...

Arafat Warns U.S. Could Kill Middle East Peace

Posted by: Sarah at 05:09 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Historical revisionism, Esotericus-style. Ha.

Posted by: Sarah at 10:03 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Five things I really hate:

1. when orange juice turns sour
2. cleaning the George Foreman
3. when people leave their porchlight on during the day
4. the sound of a fork scraping on a dish
5. the expression "anywhoo"

Posted by: Sarah at 04:46 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 I'm with you on the George Forman. I stopped using it long ago for exactly that reason. My #1 is people in the left lane on the highway doing less than the posted speed limit.

Posted by: Larry at April 10, 2004 08:16 PM (6TcYT)

2 My #1 is people in online forums who say "hon" or "hun." Such as "hang in there hun." Especially when it's not a 60 year old person, but a 19 year old someone who hasn't a darn clue about the subject in which they are telling you to hang on through. Just pounds on my very last nerve.

Posted by: Shannon at April 10, 2004 10:14 PM (6EP7S)

3 Pour or run really hot water on the grill (hang it over the edge of the sink), and most of the crud wipes right off.

Posted by: LCB at April 11, 2004 01:05 AM (WN/nF)

4 Grrr...that "anyhoo" really ticks me off, too...I don't understand what it is supposed to mean, or how it is humourous, chummy, or otherwise clever.

Posted by: david at April 11, 2004 03:14 AM (s7Ho8)

5 Something I always wondered... how do you know when sour cream goes bad? :-D

Posted by: CavalierX at April 11, 2004 10:51 AM (sA6XT)

6 As for cleaning the Foreman grill - I have only one comment - warm grill (do just after it has cools a bit, or plug in 1 minute), wooden popsicle stick to clean out the cracks, and a paper towel. Works like a champ.

Posted by: Ron at April 11, 2004 02:15 PM (CwrQg)

7 George Foreman grill. As soon as you finish cooking, take a few paper towels, wet them, then lay them on the grill. Close the lid and enjoy your dinner. As soon as you are finished eating, take out the paper towels, and wipe down the grill. Makes life a lot easier.

Posted by: NightHawk at April 11, 2004 06:58 PM (VYFGK)

8 Clean the foreman while it is warm to hot, use wet paper towels. The gunk wipes right off.

Posted by: Blueshift at April 11, 2004 09:44 PM (crTpS)

9 My technique is similar; I have a spray bottle of water which I use to augment the above techniques.

Posted by: triticale at April 16, 2004 02:26 PM (YmQkS)

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As I watched South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut the other night, a parody formed in my mind:

Men, when youÂ’re out there, in the battlefield, and youÂ’re looking into the beady eyes of an insurgent as he charges you with his bootleg DVD (or whatever he has), and people are dying all around you, just remember what the Left says: "Horrific, deplorable Iraqi civilian deaths are OK, as long as Saddam caused them and not the USA." That is what this war is all about!

Posted by: Sarah at 05:58 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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When my friend from high school told me about spiders in Afghanistan as big as your head, I thought he was exaggerating.

Dang.

Posted by: Sarah at 12:36 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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We interrupt this back and forth over my English textbook to bring you some much-needed humor.

Deskmerc puked on a bum

Kennedy, Daschle Fined for Celebration Over Rice Testimony

Super Mario: Reloaded (via Esotericus)

Posted by: Sarah at 11:21 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Got a funny email forward today:

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I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
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Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
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The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
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Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
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There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
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Life is sexually transmitted.
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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
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If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?"
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Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
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The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
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Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
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Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
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Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
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Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
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Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
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All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
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Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
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In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
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Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
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AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: You read about all these terrorists --- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration...

I needed a laugh today.

Posted by: Sarah at 01:05 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Mein Gott, Walter! as my co-worker always says.

Posted by: Sarah at 01:37 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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What the Mars Rover really found...

Posted by: Sarah at 02:42 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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But before I get in bed...got this joke in an email from a relative...

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, policeman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said David, "He works for the Kerry campaign, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

Posted by: Sarah at 04:29 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Hahahahahahaha!
Morons.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:20 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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The husband emailed today.
He was happy; he used a flush toilet for the first time since leaving Germany.
Ah, the simple things in life.

Posted by: Sarah at 11:42 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Greyhawk's story about Laura Bush's surprise visit to Army spouses at Fort Hood made me laugh as I had one thought: Did she bring a plastic turkey?

Posted by: Sarah at 03:43 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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As I was watching Not Without My Anus tonight over a delicious meat dinner, I had a funny thought: wouldn't it be grand if we could torture Saddam Hussein by making him watch all of the South Parks starring him over and over on a loop?

Posted by: Sarah at 03:11 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Before I forget to remind everyone, it's International Eat An Animal For PETA Day. Michelle is pushing this through, which is hysterical; I can't decide what to make for dinner yet...

Posted by: Sarah at 02:40 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Now, I'm not nearly as good at photoshop as others are, but this was my first thought when I heard about Mrs. Kerry's buttons. What does she think this is, The Terrance and Phillip Show? Not classy, lady.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:29 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Oh Frogman, your bumper stickers are the best.

OK, I miss my husband. I just found out today he's made it to Iraq, but his new home has neither phones nor internet connection. And then I got drunk in my German class (wine tasting night), so I'm feeling a little melancholy. Hey, maybe a little Gulag Archipelago could cheer me up. Crap.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:54 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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An Instapundit reader is concerned that bloggers could be bribed to change their vote. Just for the record here, no amount of DVDs could get me to vote for Kerry. Not even a box set or an expensive collectors' edition or anything. Plus, I already own the Holy Trilogy, so what more could I ask for?

Posted by: Sarah at 04:40 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I got forwarded an email months ago down from the LTC here with a note saying "Be careful what you wish for." I've been searching for this Re-inforcement by Indorsement for a while, and I finally found a blog that's linked it. Thanks, Rocket Penguin.

(It might take a few seconds to load.)

Posted by: Sarah at 05:31 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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A reader sent me a funny photo yesterday. Looks like Kim Jong Il isn't the only one supporting Kerry...

Posted by: Sarah at 05:18 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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