January 28, 2009

SWING AND A MISS

A lady here in town kept insisting to me that Bush was going to invade Iran before the end of his presidency. For months, she insisted that the "bombing," as she called it, that she was hearing from on post was the most frequent since the Gulf War, which obviously meant that Bush had something up his sleeve.

I tried to gently contradict her along the way, saying that a surprise attack using infantrymen from here in town would not be something that Bush could hide from all of us. Airstrikes, perhaps, but not a Normandy Beach-style invasion. And that maybe the added noise coming from post was just training for regular old Iraq and Afghanistan missions. She insisted that Bush was cooking something up.

So when I saw her today for the first time since Inauguration Day, can I tell you how badly I wanted to rub this in her face? How I wanted to point out that for months she insisted that she had knowledge of some nefarious plot to invade Iran that plain old did. not. happen. And that maybe next time she oughtn't speak in such bold, declarative statements.

But I didn't, because I am a lady. But dadgum, I got tired of being polite while listening to her conspiracy theories.

Posted by: Sarah at 09:01 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Actually, I wish you WOULD have! Maybe not in an "in your face" way, but in a "Wow... we really dodged a bullet on that one, didn't we". She'd know without you even saying it. Of course, I'm no lady.

Posted by: Meadowlark at January 28, 2009 10:13 AM (SXBsQ)

2 Why couldn't you believe your own ears? We bet the bombing was deafening. Conservatives are hilarious. They speak of WMDs that never existed, and then turn around and ignore the bombing in their own backyards. America (dead since cOrOnatiOn day - yay!) was such a violent place. We would have fled to Pyongyang had He not claimed the thrOne. Unfortunately, Bushaitan still lives, and his agents are everywhere attempting to disrupt the prOgram. They can do anything. Like hide "a surprise attack using infantrymen from here in town." They are the witches and warlocks of our time, casting spells upon the innOcent, piOus wOrshippers of the One. Those who have the rash of the Rush are dangerous and should wear a scarlet "W." We will make Joe McCarthy look like a softie. Did not happen, you say? Perhaps not on a surface level, but the Bushaitanites can attack the deep structure of reality. Only we Chomskyans are perceptive enough to be immune to Fox-manufactured consent and see the way things really are. Only we can feel the scorching heat of global burning. Just as your ancestors believed in mystics who claimed to see invisible spirits, you must believe in us and our fabrications, er, visions. The invasion of Iran, yes, Iran, happened. The New Deal succeeded. Roosevelt is the number one president BO - before Obama. Only the insane believe their senses. The rest put their faith in our arbitrary authority. When will you wake up and pretend to smell the imaginary coffee?

Posted by: kevin at January 28, 2009 11:19 AM (+nV09)

3 Indeed, Kevin, my husband said that, had I confronted this lady and said that we didn't invade Iran, she might very well have answered, "Not that WE know..." Ah, Bush. The evil genius. Who is dumber than a monkey.

Posted by: Sarah at January 28, 2009 11:24 AM (TWet1)

4 That about sums up the incredible lack of actual rational, logical thought, doesn't it? So frustrating!

Posted by: Lucy at January 28, 2009 11:58 AM (HGFog)

5 Your husband makes me laugh so hard!

Posted by: airforcewife at January 28, 2009 01:46 PM (Fb2PC)

6 Some of the other bizarre stuff I heard about Bush: He planned 9/11. He was going to use all the shuttered (from the bad economy) factories and turn them into concentration-like camps for liberals. He was going to invade Iran and then 'invoke' the draft to clean out the inner city ghetto's. Yeaaaaah. Being a red dot in a blue state is really really hard some days.

Posted by: Mare at January 29, 2009 03:24 AM (APbbU)

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