May 31, 2008
I HATE GIRL CLOTHES
I know I am so absolutely going to have a girl...because I cannot stand baby clothes for girls. I am all about trucks and baseballs and turtles. I hate the flowers and butterflies.
My mother and I took a trip through the baby section today, and it's slim pickin's for a girl, especially if you don't want her to look like a tramp. Yes, even baby clothes are following this trend. I noted the following sayings on girl clothes 3-6 months today:
Princess With Attitude
Yes, that's right: Bling Bling. On a shirt covered in diamonds and dollar signs. I mean, why don't we just go ahead and buy her the Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset and be done with it?
Ugh. I'm so having a girl.
She will wear baseballs and puppies for the first year. With one of those scrunchie bands around her head so people can tell she's a girl.
Posted by: Sarah at
| Comments (16)
| Add Comment
Post contains 168 words, total size 1 kb.
Our favorite shirt for sprout is a dark green tshirt with a plaid skull and crossbones on the front. It's very, very hard to find cool clothes for girls. This summer I've stuck with plain tank tops and plain shorts... but yes, the look you describe is what I call "hooker chic".
Although, depending on the font and cut of the clothing, I don't have a problem with "princess" or "angel". Unless it's on panties. I don't think little girls should have words on their panties. That's something new I've discovered since having my stepdaughter here this summer.
Please don't curse her with the scrunchie band, though. Just let them think she's a boy. It'll be better for her in the end.
Posted by: Sis B at May 31, 2008 11:13 AM (0ZS+T)
I am so getting you baby clothes from here:
These folks were my neighbors in NJ for 7 years. Maybe a little punky for some people's taste but I like it.
I agree, no scrunchies, or those stupid hairbands with bows on them.
Khaki, Red, Navy and White look good on girls too.
Are you going to find out ahead or be surprised?
Posted by: Mare at May 31, 2008 11:54 AM (APbbU)
it can be a challenge to find something that is simple for a girl. zutano clothes, though a little pricey, offer a blend of patterns and have boyish items that do not scream BOY. they wash well and are worth it. i purchased a lot of them, mainly hitting sales or ebay, for my daughter up until age 2. she is almost 4 now and can still wear some of their fleece pants and jackets that are made for 18-24 months.
Posted by: Mel at May 31, 2008 12:28 PM (lt+5K)
I got a real laugh at that. I can see it now...
Daddy's little princess in a tutu!! Whatever it is the clothes are going to be cute. You just have to be selective. Not everybody buys the slut look. Specially for their boys.
Posted by: Ruth H at May 31, 2008 12:55 PM (w9ltj)
At least, as a knitter, you can knit her something that doesn't have a butterfly, or flowers, or say "Spoiled Rotten".
This probably will be frowned upon by at least one of your relatives/friends, but there's no real reason a baby girl can't wear boy clothes. The only real consequence is that strangers will say "what a handsome baby boy!" instead of "what a darling baby girl!"
Posted by: amethyst at May 31, 2008 02:20 PM (vEC+I)
Lol! We don't do anything with writing on it either as a general rule, but I'm not entirely opposed to flowers and butterflies either. I find more and more that I shop online though, because even for my 2yr old the clothes at the big box stores are often too "grown up" for my taste. I like Zutano as someone suggested, and I love Hanna Andersson, they have some decent sales as their regular prices give me sticker shock. You might try Boden too. Good stuff is out there, you just have to do some looking.
Posted by: dutchgirl at May 31, 2008 03:09 PM (NhxCQ)
Oh, just go to the PX and buy a bunch of the camouflage onesies. After all, girls are Army, too!
And instead of the scrunchy bands, you could always to little camo do-rags... Our blond wore do-rags for the first three years of her life because her head was so round the scrunchies slipped off it and she was bald.
I saw a onesie I really liked, though. I'm getting the older kid shirts for my kids. It said, "Plays with Pit Bulls."
Posted by: airforcewife at May 31, 2008 04:10 PM (mIbWn)
I forgot to add... I could help you stitch some ruffles on the butt of the camo onesies if you need me too...
Posted by: airforcewife at May 31, 2008 04:12 PM (mIbWn)
I didn't want girls -- don't really like girls, the clothes, the screaming, the nail polish -- and ended up with 3 of 'em. But guess what? They're cool girls. And yeah, super girly, too. But it turns out ok. You'll see!
I hate writing on clothes, too, but Target usually always has el cheapo t-shirts and shorts, cute dresses and things that aren't too nasty-ho.
Posted by: Allison at May 31, 2008 04:59 PM (Gm5x2)
OH! And another thing! You soooo do NOT have to TAPE a bow to a bald head to prove femininity.... Or pierce tiny baby ears...
Posted by: Allison at May 31, 2008 05:06 PM (Gm5x2)
sarah - I am with you. I have 2 girls. I cant shop at alot of stores - shorts too short, too much mess on tshirts, etc. I get alot from Target or LandsEnd. Also there are alot of shops online that have "cute" stuff. (I do think you are having a girl based on that heart beat.)
Posted by: keri at June 01, 2008 04:24 AM (HXpRG)
Second to Landsend,etc. Even BabyGap has some
cute things that aren't too 'tramp in training'.
I am not a fan of those velcro hair bow things
either. I say hats. Little hats. Protects their
little scalps and eyes in the sun and keeps them
warm in the winter.
I see all of these Moms at the park,they are
wearing hats and sunglasses and yet their poor
babies and toddlers are squinting and looking
I was too overcome to say it before but to you
and your DH - CONGRATULATIONS!
Posted by: MaryIndiana at June 01, 2008 05:35 AM (PEFLo)
Ooh, hats! I forgot those! And no matter what you dress your child in, whether it's a pink tutu and bows in the hair, there will be ignorant fools who say "Isn't he handsome!?" I swear, I could have hung a sign on my son that said, "I AM A BOY" and people would have cooed over how beautiful "she" was.
I also forgot to say that I was completely terrified of having a daughter. I'm still not entirely sure what to do with her, but she guides me. I swore, SWORE I would never make her wear headbands, even when she had hair and was older, because I remember them pinching and scraping my head as a kid. Then one day we were walking through Kohl's, she walked right up to the headband display, grabbed a loose one and stuck it on her head. Like she knew what she was doing. It was the only thing she wouldn't rip off her head for weeks. Luckily, she likes to play in the dirt and chase bugs, too. That, I can understand.
Posted by: Sis B at June 01, 2008 07:02 AM (0ZS+T)
It's VERY hard to find suitable, non-hoochie, non-too-girlie things for girls.
I've always found cute things at Osh Kosh & Carter's for the wee ones. When they hit closer to 4T, it becomes more of a challenge. Usually successful with Land's End, Talbot's for Kids, and sometimes even JCPenney will have mixie-matchie clothes in the big, bold colors acceptable to Ms. M2 who is very anti-bows & bare midriffs.
I hate, hate, HATE sequins and glitter and all that jazz and it's EVERYWHERE.
Posted by: Guard Wife at June 01, 2008 09:58 AM (fwy0X)
My daughters did not wear pink and fru fru stuff until they started having an opinion. Now almost everything is pink or purple. I am amazed they like the colors even though I never had them around.
Navy, red, blue, teal, and yellows were our colors of choice.
I shopped at resale stores, Wal-Mart, and Old Navy.
Posted by: Amy at June 01, 2008 03:01 PM (QRbmz)
Target is definitely the place to go:
How can you resist? http://www.target.com/DWELL-LAYETTE-PINK-KIMONO-SLEEPER/dp/B000XQ5QAU/qid=1212450115/ref=br_1_16/601-6456105-7670539?ie=UTF8&node=16280511&frombrowse=1&rh=&page=1
Posted by: FbL at June 02, 2008 02:46 PM (HwqvF)
| Add Comment
May 20, 2008
CHANGE IS EVERYWHERE
So I've been in season finale heaven this week, with all sorts of major characters dying and stuff. It's been a wild ride, and letters to my husband have been filled with synopses of shows because I'm a dork like that.
But I watched the finale of House, and what was the deal with the extremely conspicuous Obama bumper sticker on the hospital bathroom wall? How out of place and jarring was that? I mean, come on with the agenda.
Posted by: Sarah at
| Comments (2)
| Add Comment
Post contains 86 words, total size 1 kb.
Huh. I didn't even notice it. I was too busy being shocked that House could actually be human.
Posted by: HomefrontSix at May 20, 2008 06:01 PM (4Es1w)
OMG! I almost wrote about that yesterday. I was pissed when I saw it.
Posted by: Mare at May 21, 2008 04:39 AM (EI19G)
| Add Comment
MAN-BASHING AT MSN
noticed my previous post and sent me another crap MSN article
. Oh no, it's on.
Things a Man Should Never Do in the Company of a Woman
Reveal how much your car cost.
-- In my husband's case, it would be how little his car cost, since he prides himself in small car payments. And also how low the mileage is: we have a six-year-old car with 45,000 miles on it.
Clean your gun.
-- Not even. This is hot. You should definitely do this in front of me.
Polish high school trophies (which you still have displayed).
-- OK, this one is lame. But how many people are doing this? Oh wait, hang on, I fall into this category. I still proudly display an award I received when I ran high school track because it was an award for the person who put out the most effort despite being handicapped by a natural inability to run fast. I worked my tail off on that track to be good, and I had no God-given talent to rely on. That award is important to me. If my husband had something like that, you can darn well believe that I'd let him keep it and polish it whenever he wanted to.
Refer to your mother as your best friend.
-- Isn't it a good thing for a guy to love his mother?
-- My husband doesn't do this really, but sometimes he does quote rap songs as if he's quoting Mark Twain or Socrates, and it is hilarious when he does it.
Check out our assistant/roommate/the baby-sitter.
-- The last time my husband came home from Iraq, he had spent 13 months without seeing a woman. (He was on an all-male combat arms FOB.) He stared like crazy when he got home, not out of disrespect for me but because it was such a novelty. It didn't bother me in the least.
Question our footwear.
-- I've had my husband question my footwear. You know, when I was wearing inappropriate footwear. He's no dummy; he knows that cute little sandals are gonna hurt like hell after lots of walking.
Blow-dry your hair.
-- High and tight. No need for this one. I think my dad blow dries his hair in the winter sometimes. I dare anyone to say my dad isn't manly enough.
Tip less than 20 percent.
-- My husband is fine in this department. I'm the one who's Mr. Pink.
-- His Cartman and Slingblade make me laugh.
Impressions of us.
-- So does his impression of me. I sound an awful lot like Glenn Beck's wife, and it makes me crack up. Gosh, I wish I could hear him do it now.
Forget to carry cash.
-- What a dumb addition to this list.
Flip it, flop it, swing it around, tug on it, adjust it, scratch it, or do anything that will remind us that it's just a goofy appendage and not a mystical source of pleasure and satisfaction.
-- He doesn't have one. He has an old PS2 and old games from 2002, because he made a pimp decision.
Boot and rally.
-- I have no idea what this means.
ScreamÂ—at the dog, at the guy who just stole your parking spot, at Bill Belichick. Because, no matter how much Belichick deserves it (cheater!), when we hear you raise your voice, we have an idea of what we're in for.
-- My husband does have a tendency to shout at the TV, but I'm getting used to it. And if that's his only fault, then I can live with it.
Talk about former exploits. Ever.
-- Not a problem in our house.
Use the words bitch, slut, tramp, or whore, unless referring to another man.
-- He uses them when they're approproately funny. Sometimes about women. Deal with it.
Tell us you're going to kiss us. (Just get on with it!)
-- Had to throw in something cutesy there, right? Just to offset all the carping, bitchy other things you put in the rest of the list.
I thought I'd try, in Rachel Lucas fashion, to come up with a list of things women shouldn't do in front of men. But the whole concept is just dumb. Let men be men and women be women. If you like hanging out together, then you like the whole package. Why on earth do you want to be with a man who is reprogrammed to act like a woman? There is not a thing I can think of that my husband can't do in front of me, farting included. And there is not a thing he can say to his buddies that he can't say in front of me. Because I love him and I love everything about him. He doesn't need to hide part of his personality so I will stay with him.
He's perfect just the way he is.
Posted by: Sarah at
| Comments (7)
| Add Comment
Post contains 834 words, total size 5 kb.
Aw! What a great post. He's a lucky guy! (and I'm sure he knows he is.)
Posted by: T at May 20, 2008 07:18 AM (KV0YP)
I love pimp decisions. I do. But I really want a Wii....
BTW CAT williams is coming here like next week....
I am not going, because I have already seen all of his stuff on TV.
so I suppose that is a pimp decision. I will save my Cat Williams $$$ and put it in a Wii account?
Posted by: awtm at May 20, 2008 07:59 AM (Xx9d8)
Okay, I do ask farting be done in another room, because... well, my husband could kill puppies with that stuff. AWFUL!
I'm with you on the gun cleaning, though! Yummy...
Posted by: airforcewife at May 20, 2008 08:33 AM (mIbWn)
I just thought it was the Dumbest. List. Ever.
What raised my ire the most in fact was the mother comment. My own mother gave me the advice that if a man doesn't love and respect his mother chances are he won't like and respect women in general. While I know this is not true 100% of the time (some folks sadly do get hosed in the parent dept.) I still think it's a good call most of the time. Doesn't make a man a wuss to love his mom.
The rest I just thought was a bunch of stupid arbitrary rules that women make up for guys to follow.
Posted by: Mare at May 20, 2008 08:47 AM (EI19G)
I'm with you on these. Heck, if my husband did *not* do half the stuff on these lists I'd question my judgment. Finally, in the past year, my husband has been able to change his description from "my computer costs more than my car."
Posted by: Tara at May 20, 2008 01:38 PM (c595h)
Posted by: HomefrontSix at May 20, 2008 06:00 PM (4Es1w)
Boot and rally? Drink too much,get sick,yet go
back for more alcohol?
Just a guess.
Posted by: MaryIndiana at May 20, 2008 10:51 PM (PEFLo)
| Add Comment
A GROWN MAN
I almost passed this off as not worth my time, but I can't let it go. I read this dumb list of 18 things a grown man shouldn't have
. Most of them I can agree with and my husband doesn't do. Some are things I
actually do, like quote The Big Lebowski
. But the kicker is the beer one: "Any beer that costs less than $20 a case."
First of all, part of being a grown up is realizing what you like and not buying something more expensive just so you can look cool. My husband doesn't have to drink with the label out, so he buys what he likes or he buys what's on sale. And he takes the money he saved that way and invests it in his retirement fund. That is definitely one thing a grown man should have.
Second of all, time and time again blind taste tests show that people don't know their favorite beer from a hole in the ground.
Blind Beer Recognition: The Quaffer's Nightmare
Booze You Can Use
One quote from that Slate taste test says it all:
In addition to saying which beers they preferred, the tasters were asked to estimate whether the beers were expensive or not--in effect, to judge whether other people would like and be impressed by the beers. One taster perfectly understood the intention of this measure when he said, in comments about Beer B (Heineken), "I don't like it, but I bet it's what the snobs buy."
And doing something just because you think it's socially acceptable or because you think others will regard you highly for it, that is not at all something a grown man should do.
A grown man is comfortable in his own skin. He will drink Pabst in public.
Posted by: Sarah at
| Comments (1)
| Add Comment
Post contains 304 words, total size 2 kb.
yikes what about nattie bo? now thats some wicked stuff. personally i find it cheaper just to avoid beer all together. why waste that much money on something that just leaves you feeling crappy the next day. now coca cola... that i will splurge on.
Posted by: lea (trying) at May 20, 2008 04:13 AM (NJQf+)
| Add Comment
May 15, 2008
WHERE ARE THE WIFE ROLE MODELS?
There is one thing I hate about action movies: the wives. The wives are always whiny, self-centered nags. Every action movie wife is Adrian Balboa, telling Rocky not to fight. I get so sick of it. How many times can we hear some snotty witch tell her husband that she's "sick of him putting the job ahead of his family"? And every action hero takes it, lets his wife treat him like dirt while he keeps on killing the bad guys. I can't stand it any longer.
You know, I'm glad my husband has a job that he puts ahead of his family. Because my happiness is not the most important freaking thing on this planet. He doesn't live to make my life perfect; he tries to do a job that's bigger than him, bigger than us. And I am proud of that, I respect that. And I would never dream of emasculating him by saying I can't understand "what he's become," that I can't believe he forgot Timmy's basketball game, that I can't believe that he somehow thinks ridding the streets of evil is better than being home at a decent hour every night.
Seriously, this is what movie wives do. They destroy their husbands because they want their husbands to put them first, above everything else.
I will never forget the post that Joan wrote at SpouseBUZZ about TV husbands promising to make it up to their wives. My husband doesn't have to make anything up to me; it's reward enough to see him do a job he loves well and to make an impact on this world. And yeah, that may mean he misses Timmy's freaking basketball game from time to time. Get over it.
You know, I was stressed out today. I cried a lot and I wished someone was here in the house to hold my hand and tell me that everything was going to be OK. But not once during the entire day did I feel upset that my husband was in Iraq instead of here. Not once. His job is more important than my crying stints. We signed up for selfless service, and by golly I take that seriously. I would never dream of making him feel bad for not being home on a day I needed him.
But apparently TV wives sing a different tune.
I hate TV wives. Except Zoe Washburne, she was cool.
Posted by: Sarah at
| Comments (9)
| Add Comment
Post contains 417 words, total size 2 kb.
"I hate TV wives. Except Zoe Washburne, she was cool."
Posted by: Sarah's Pinko Commie Friend at May 15, 2008 06:59 PM (xAF2d)
I feel the same way about Lifetime: Television for Woman. It makes my skin crawl. I kinda sorta detest being told my 'hooha' means I need to crave the golden girls and designing women and danielle steele novel adaptations and victimized women movie of the weeks. Because I might just claw my eyes out. Not to be dramatic about it.
That entitlement issue is along the same vein as the push present thing you posted about the other day. Some woman are just wired that way and some aren't. I don't understand trying to make your husband feel bad about missing something. But I know I spent a lot of energy trying to make him feel like he wasn't. Thank god for choices.
Posted by: wifeunit at May 15, 2008 07:43 PM (BOdNw)
Exactly, wifeunit! I practically took pictures every second that AFG was gone, and will do so again. I wanted him to see what was happening here, because being here or not was never a choice - it just was.
And when it comes right down to it, there are an awful lot of people in this world in far worse straits than I ever was.
Not that I'm perfect - I've got kvetching down to an art form. But if my life were one dramatic vignette about how I've been victimized by the system, left behind by my husband, or anything else I'd probably jump off the nearest bridge.
The big holiday AFG has always missed was Halloween. And my kids STILL talk about the one Halloween he managed to be home. They STILL remember it - and my son was only on the cusp of three!
I wonder how many kids whose fathers are always home remember so much as last Halloween? And I wonder how many of those kids honestly think their father is a Superhero?
But tv's not really interested in that side of it, I guess.
Posted by: airforcewife at May 16, 2008 05:16 AM (mIbWn)
I usually agree w/a lot of what you say and express. And while am vastly proud to stand next to my CPT, i'm done with this way of life. You have never gotten that call saying there has been a medical evacuation. And zero support from FRG, Rear D, and anyone else save your husbands best friend 8 time zones away. I am not whiney, I hold an MBA and work in NYC on wall street i am quite capabable and have been for years, but its time that i was put first. Apparently i am last on the totem poll for the Army and its support systems despite their contract with teh families. The bigger picture of what they are fighting for has zero to do with us. I ride to the WTC every single day and you know what, its a construction site. yes 911 was horrible, its over, us New Yorkers want to move on, b/c one more memorial for 911 just messes up our commute. But the bigger picture should be our family. what we are doing in Iraq is never going to end. our soldiers are going to die needlessly, my husband almost did. Yeah i want to be first. Someone definitley needs to make up for him being gone, for almost dying, for having lasting effects of a war that will never end.
That phone call sucks, that worry, the fear the total lack of control sucks. I hope you never experience it. i truly hope your husband loves his job and believes in what he's doing, bc the last 4 years of war have sucked the life out of mine. i'll get over the missed christmas, thanksgiving, numerous birthdays, what i won't get back is my cheery husband, the one i married. you say you wouldn't dream of emasculating him by saying "you can't understand what he's become" you're not there yet, he's not. but it happens, the phone call made sure it did.
someone owes me...big time...and not in the form of fisher house or disabilty pay. the job he had to put ahead of his family...made him disappear. yeah, someone needs to make it up to me
Posted by: xscwife at May 16, 2008 07:20 AM (kKccv)
I just want to say how very much I appreciate your views on these things. So often I feel alone when I'm one of the very, very few milspouses (here IRL at least) saying, "No, that's his job. No, I won't force a baby out early so he can be here. No, I don't hate him because he won't be here for Christmas."
Mind you, I don't like what my husband has had to go through on his boat in the past year, but it's not because of the hours or the deployments or the underways: it's because of what it has done to him and how disillusioned he's become in the last year. But like I told him, it's HIS job and if he wants to retire from the Navy I'm behind him 100% and we as a family will work things out.
I may be behind him drinking sometimes, but I'll be there.
Posted by: Tara at May 16, 2008 07:55 AM (c595h)
I remember a time when I would have thought "someone needs to make it up to me" for the exact same things mentioned above. It is not hard to imagine at all. But then I figured out the answer to that riddle. The only person who can do make it up to me is ... well, me. In the world I live in, I can't change the massive Army machine, the politics of war, and the minds of enemy. So I changed myself. And I have done what I can to put my myself first, then my marriage, then the rest of the world. Granted I sit in a very different spot from xscwife, but if I don't like the view, change my perspective, or suffer. Being tired of suffering, the choice was not and is not difficult. (And when I say stuff like this, it is mostly me reminding myself. Mostly.)
Sorry to get off track there. Sarah, I wanted to say that I know you approve of at least one movie wife, too: Queen Gorgo. I think she is my movie wife role model. But frankly, I like real life models, like you, Sarah.
Posted by: Butterfly Wife at May 16, 2008 05:56 PM (nK6Pm)
What about McClane's wife Holly? Didn't she come *back* after that whole business in the first movie? I can't remember what happened with them after that.
Posted by: Anwyn at May 16, 2008 07:37 PM (dzxw9)
Posted by: Maggie at May 18, 2008 08:21 AM (XiJJE)
My favorite wife role model is actually on the most recent show I watched; the John Adams series on HBO. Abigail Adams was awesome; intelligent, strong, supportive... she held her husband together in his toughest times, and held her family together when he was gone. She's a wife who's well worth emulating.
Posted by: Emily at May 19, 2008 11:57 AM (jAos7)
| Add Comment
May 14, 2008
MY LIFE IS SO BLESSED THAT I SPEND MY TIME GRIPING ABOUT MOVIES
When I was in high school, my brother and I wanted to see From Dusk Until Dawn
. We finally rented it, and he was going to watch it with his friends and then bring it home for me to watch. As he was leaving his friends' house, he dropped the VHS tape and accidentally stepped on it, cracking the tape, making me unable to watch it.
I am reminded of that frustration today.
If you remember my saying so, I love crappy action movies. Our Blockbuster queue is filled with them now that my husband is gone. So I watched First Blood the other night (the first Rambo movie, to rubes like me who didn't know it wasn't actually called Rambo.) That movie is freaking weird. Why are some Oregon cops harrassing a guy who just wanted to eat in the local diner, to the point where they're all getting killed over it? Whatever, Stallone is hot.
So I returned the movie and was all set to watch First Blood II tonight.
Now imagine me saying "Weak. Lame." in my best Cartman voice: They mailed me another copy of the first movie.
I wanted Cambodia, not Oregon again.
Posted by: Sarah at
| Comments (2)
| Add Comment
Post contains 226 words, total size 1 kb.
I do not get the Stallone attraction....odd.
His name is not even Fred...
and I heard he is shorter than me...
Posted by: awtm at May 14, 2008 03:47 PM (nNW3E)
I thought First Blood was a really good movie. I was never a Stallone fan, but he was good in that role. I got the whole town vs. stranger thing. But then I am much older than you. It was a funny time in America.
Posted by: Maggie at May 18, 2008 08:24 AM (XiJJE)
| Add Comment
May 13, 2008
Last night my husband's friend commented appreciatively on my KitchenAid mixer. I told him it was my Surviving Deployment Present to myself. I remember how I had to force myself to get it because I thought it was so frivolous. A present, just for not falling to pieces in one year.
And then I learned that other wives had gotten enormous honkin' diamonds and Saabs.
Until today, I had never heard of a "push present," which apparently is a new trend. Husbands are supposed to waste money on wives when they deliver a baby, in addition to the money they waste on ridiculous old Valentine's Day. And I have a feeling that it probably goes down a lot like other people's Surviving Deployment presents did; nothing like blowing a huge wad of cash right when you need it most in life. I would think it was sweet if my husband got something for the baby or a little thing for me. But I sure ain't countin' on it. And I know for a fact that he would not buy expensive jewelery and I wouldn't want him to.
I don't think it's weird to get your spouse a gift; in fact, I've already got something in mind for my husband. But it's not a requirement, for heaven's sake.
My "push present" will probably be an increase in my life insurance policy.
Posted by: Sarah at
| Comments (9)
| Add Comment
Post contains 234 words, total size 1 kb.
Yeah...that is kind of weird. I read an article about it where they were asking what moms or moms to be thought about it...and you basically got the same responses you would get about Valentine's Day, anniversaries, etc...the same people who thought a present was necessary then, thought it was a great idea, and others, we ho-hum about it. But I think that flowers or something is nice...not necessary, for sure, but still, I am always touched when my husband buys me flowers, because I know how frivilous he finds them.
By the way, A KitchenAid is the furthest thing from frivilous for me...I am almost insulted....;-)... My father gave me a KitchenAid for Xmas when I was 11. Big gift for a little girl you might say, but I LOVED to cook and bake, and I used that thing...and the same one is still in my parents' kitchen now...my brother and sister-in-law gave me one for a wedding present, and it is one of the most used things in the kitchen. You can give me a kitchen appliance over jewelry any day!
Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at May 13, 2008 04:34 AM (irIko)
I always joke that should I smell smoke in the house, I'm grabbing a kid under each arm & shooing the dogs out the door while Hubs is to grab the Kitchen Aid mixer.
I LOVE that thing. I bought one for myself after a rather successful garage sale--I decluttered lots of sentimental things and made myself feel better with a new appliance.
I love kitchen gadgets and cookware too. Although, the earrings Hubs and the girls gave me for graduation/Mother's Day are nothing to sneeze at either!
I think there needs to be some recognition on the husband's part at the birth of a child--I've always been fond of the look of abject admiration and amazement at the feat I have just performed before his very eyes, rather than jewelry or the like.
I kind of treated labor & delivery like a competitive sport so just being the WINNER was good enough.
Posted by: Guard Wife at May 13, 2008 05:08 AM (20Lnu)
Don't get me wrong: I love my mixer and use it all the time. It was definitely worth the money. But I thought at the time that it was silly of me to think I deserved a $150 appliance just for living through one year of my life.
Posted by: Sarah at May 13, 2008 05:44 AM (TWet1)
Actually, I do that often: make a major purchase and then make up a reason for it. I have got my "10 days of marriage" water-cooker...and my Happy 2008 egg cooker...and my Valentine's Day hand-held-vac...2 months celebration of having a dog Nerf bars for my truck (okay, I made that one up just now, I got the Nerf bars, but for no special reason). My husband and I make up a list of larger purchases that we want to make in the future, and it hangs on the fridge, and then we check those things off...it sounds so much better if you make up a reason for it, rather than just go out and buy it...so why not celebrate "surviving a year of your life" with a Kitchen Aid? I think I will add that to my list of purchase excuses!
Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at May 13, 2008 05:54 AM (irIko)
My sister got a "push" present for the births of her two daughters- diamond studs and a diamond ring.
But what made it kind of cool, and somehow less gaudy... they weren't my sister's to keep; she was to keep them safe for a while. He really bought them for his baby girls to have when they were all grown up.
I think it's sweet. Mom just gets to borrow them for a while.
I personally don't mind push presents, but I'd rather get them for myself than to demand my husband get it for me.
Posted by: Crys at May 13, 2008 07:05 AM (dqGUK)
I have never heard of a push present before. I have always bought myself deployment presents, though. Last deployment I bought a Dyson. I couldn't live without my KitchenAid. That mixer makes my life so much easier.
Posted by: Tressa at May 13, 2008 12:43 PM (yY6P+)
I would have taken one after the birth of our son. 10 lbs 1 oz, naturally, two days after he arrived home for R&R, then when Junior was 13 days old, Gunner was gone again. I still couldn't sit. He owes me, lol. Maybe his "snipping" was my present?
Posted by: ABW at May 13, 2008 12:53 PM (Y3JJK)
Wow...$150 would be a bargain for Kitchen Aid! Must have been the PX...I miss that place. I've looked into buying one and Target wants around $200 for the smaller one. I think I'll get the Dyson first...I don't know what to think about "push" presents. Having not given birth, I hate to insult the idea...I might think I deserve one someday.
Posted by: Nicole at May 13, 2008 01:23 PM (sBJ2p)
Sarah...welcome to a Man's World. (Disclaimer - Patti, the sweetest woman on the planet, NEVER expects presents but always makes me feel like I'm the most thoughtful husband ever even when its just a card on an unexpected moment.) By the Man's World comment...can I reintroduce you to "Is Two Months Salary Too Much for the Woman of Your Dreams?" crap they shell out for engagement rings? What is the purpose of this approach. Is it to set expectations? On whose part? I just had a guy tell me he put a "down payment" on the engagement ring. I'm thinkin' "Dude, is she wearing an Audi on her left hand????"
So...am I to feel ashamed I didn't spend zwei monaten's salary on Patti's ring? If I am, I don't.
Is Patti supposed to feel slighted because I didn't put us into debt right before our wedding? Well, she certainly doesn't seem to be suffering any ill effects of not worrying about a credit balance with outrageous interest.
And don't even get me started on that whole "Every Kiss Begins with Kay" thing. I'm with Jonah
on this one
Posted by: Tim Fitz at May 13, 2008 03:45 PM (Nki/C)
| Add Comment
May 10, 2008
We got our Pelosi Money yesterday, but there's nothing we need to buy to help stimulate the economy. We had intended to spend it on sod for the backyard since we're having a really hard time making grass grow on sand, but the sod laying company can't get into our backyard unless we tear down part of our fence. That seems like a bad trade-off to me, so we're not going that route right now. Other than that, I can't think of anything to spend it on. Thanks for funding our IRA, Congress. You meatheads.
Posted by: Sarah at
| Comments (7)
| Add Comment
Post contains 97 words, total size 1 kb.
How about spending it on a plane ticket, dork?
Posted by: FbL at May 10, 2008 06:12 AM (HwqvF)
We got our Pelosi money too. We are using it to help get us the heck out of a yellow dog state!!
Posted by: awtm at May 10, 2008 07:49 AM (Eu6Vg)
wait until I get settled, and perhaps you can use it on a road trip....
"only in Nebraska!"
We invented "the kool aid"...
which might be a good tag line for my new Nebraska blog....
Posted by: awtm at May 10, 2008 07:51 AM (Eu6Vg)
I'm glad to hear someone got their's on time, they seem to have lost us, when we get it, it too will go back into our savings to help replace what we spent on our house, no economy stimulus there Nancy....like anyone wants to spend money when Gas is almost 4.00 a gallon, no one can afford to go anywhere to spend it to stimulate the economy!
Posted by: A Soldier's Wife at May 10, 2008 09:12 AM (U2GKz)
Yep, right into savings.
Although AFG and I are going to use just a bit of it to take a date night to the NRA shooting range.
Think Ms. Pelosi would approve?
Posted by: airforcewife at May 10, 2008 09:37 AM (mIbWn)
Posted by: deskmerc at May 10, 2008 04:27 PM (Ho1gG)
You could try hydromulch. We did it in our barren back yard and had some extra that they put on the front lawn, so you don't have to do it on barren soil. It is also cheaper. Here is a description that I found:
Hydromulch, sometimes known as hydroseed, is a mixture of fiber mulch, grass seed, fertilizer, bonding agent, and water. This mixture is placed in a special machine to bring the ingredients to the right density to spray over barren soil. The result is a thick green layer on the surface of the soil. After regular watering and two weeks time, the result is a beautiful high quality lawn at a fraction of the price of sod.
Posted by: Amy at May 15, 2008 04:26 PM (p8kgi)
| Add Comment
May 09, 2008
I'M NOT ANTI-WAR
found an interesting opinion piece called Anti-War Wounds
. I don't relate to every opinion in the article, but it's well-written and makes a good point about "being the 'we.'" And about how it feels when people don't get that.
My husband fights this war. He risks his life every day. We have both made sacrifices for it. And to hear them say that itÂ’s Â“a waste of time,Â” that it Â“will never make a difference,Â” that Â“we should call the whole thing offÂ” Â— well, if thatÂ’s true, IÂ’m not sure IÂ’ll get out of bed tomorrow morning. There has to be a reason that our family Â— and thousands of others Â— are enduring this.
Yesterday someone called to say goodbye to my husband before he left, not knowing that he'd been bumped forward. And in the conversation, this person asked if my husband thinks that being in Iraq is worth it, if his job means anything, and if he thinks we should've gone there in the first place. How do you answer that question 1) politely and 2) succinctly? And then what do you do when that person says, "Well, I don't think it was the right idea in the first place"?
All I could answer was that my husband reads countless books, articles, and blogs about the Middle East. He's no robot blindly following Bush's orders. And he will do the best job he can with the brain he's been given so that he does make a difference down there.
You know, I've heard the saying that the soldier is the most anti-war person because he actually sees what war is, but I don't think I ever want label myself as anti-war. To me, that's like being anti-pollution or anti-cancer; it's a meaningless term. (I've written about this before.) There is war in this world we live in, like it or not, and sometimes you have to fight it. And if that time comes to my family, then that makes me pro-war. Do I think this time in Iraq has been perfect or easy? No way. But I don't have a crystal ball that can tell me what the world would've looked like if we hadn't gone to Iraq five years ago. It's possible the world might've been worse off. So you fight the war you're in with all you've got and don't waste time thinking about what might have been in some alternate dimension.
So please don't ask our military families to discuss that alternate dimension. It's pointless and off-putting.
Posted by: Sarah at
| Comments (10)
| Add Comment
Post contains 431 words, total size 3 kb.
Especially since they don't want to hear our answer unless it is the same as theirs anyway.
I mean, really, I have never experienced someone asking me a question like that who was truly trying to get my perspective to add to their own reasons for the way they feel about the war. NEVER. What they were fishing for was whether they could use me as a "typical victim in the military" anecdote when they propounded their own opinions.
Posted by: airforcewife at May 09, 2008 04:34 AM (mIbWn)
I've written about this as well. I think we're all pro-peace - the soldiers and the families that support them. We're just not out there fighting for peace like our soldiers are.
Posted by: Tonya at May 09, 2008 06:01 AM (KV0YP)
Â“YouÂ’ll join us when your husband dies,Â” one of the protesters whispered.
Peaceful, my butt!
Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at May 09, 2008 06:33 AM (irIko)
Â“And in the conversation, this person asked if my husband thinks that being in Iraq is worth it, if his job means anything, and if he thinks we should've gone there in the first place.Â”
Anybody who would ask such a thing, at such a time is a complete, flaming asshole. You & your husband would be wise to keep your distance from such a douche.
This clownÂ’s agenda wasnÂ’t to say goodbye to your husband but rather to spew his/her crap about the Iraq war. Disguising it in an Â“innocentÂ” question doesnÂ’t excuse the motives of such a reprehensible tool. This person, obviously knowing the situation, couldnÂ’t keep their beliefs to themselves and just say something nice and leave it at that?
Geez, IÂ’m POÂ’d for yaÂ’. Sorry for the language, IÂ’ve just had it with these vermin.
Posted by: tim at May 09, 2008 07:53 AM (nno0f)
Tim, a year or so ago I might have agreed with you -- but I have had so many people ask about whether it is "worth it" or whether we should "be there"... and they honestly want to hear it from someone that has some "inside" knowledge. They don't trust what they hear in the media (or don't know what to think!) and they seem genuinely happy when I tell them "Hell yes!" and the reasons why and what is going on in Iraq. So I no longer take offense... and look at it as an opportunity to educate them. I find that people who can't be swayed and have their minds made up start off with the obligatory "we should never have gone" or some other comment on the BushCheneyHitler line.
Posted by: Some Soldier's Mom at May 09, 2008 08:51 AM (1t9I+)
The Thunder Run has linked to this post in the blog post From the Front: 05/09/2008
News and Personal dispatches from the front lines.
Posted by: David M at May 09, 2008 08:58 AM (gIAM9)
Some SoldierÂ’s Mom,
I understand what youÂ’re saying and I appreciate your comments.
I donÂ’t obviously know what this personÂ’s motives where or if they were honestly searching for some sincere answers as was your experience. I just read into SarahÂ’s post that it was inappropriate and not appreciated.
I also thought that under the situation, husband just left for the war being questioned, it was totally improper to say the least.
Posted by: tim at May 09, 2008 11:01 AM (nno0f)
I'm just a civilian however I know for a fact that the men and women who serve in the military are all that's left standing between liberty and tyranny.
That said; I live in NYC, was here during both attacks so I am a little familiar with the effects of war. If I were asked the question 'it it worth it?' I would respond with "was it worth 8 1/2 years of willful blindness only to see the WTC crumble into ash, the Pentagon attacked and a massive hole in Pennsylvannia on 9/11?"
We gave peace a chance yet peace gave us 9/11.
I wish I could really express to the families of those serving that there has not been a day since 9/11 which I have forgotten my vow to Never Forget; every day since I wake up thinking about those who serve and their families and that you're worth defines everything good in this world.
I'm too old now to serve however I'm not too old to send care packages full of love and gratitude to the most important people in the world.
Posted by: syn at May 10, 2008 12:48 AM (Dx06M)
Tim, Fair enough. and you're right... the timing of the question to Sarah is certainly suspect... on the other hand, the person could just be a social klutz (or just plain insensitive)
Posted by: Some Soldier's Mom at May 10, 2008 07:55 AM (1t9I+)
I think this person really did want to know my husband's opinion, but it's really hard for me to speak for my husband in the first place. I feel funny doing that. Secondly, this person seemed to have a preconceived idea anyway. I don't know how open he/she was to what I had to say, and I didn't say much in the short conversation. It just came off as weird all around.
Posted by: Sarah at May 10, 2008 12:07 PM (TWet1)
| Add Comment
May 03, 2008
Mothers-to-be who skip breakfast and eat less are more likely to give birth to girls, while moms who consume more calories and a wider range of nutrients Â— including, specifically, those from breakfast cereal Â— are more likely to deliver sons.
Wait wait wait. If we want a boy, I have to eat more? Done and done. And I eat breakfast cereal every single day. Sweet, we're golden.
Yeah, um, Tessa brings up the logical question here: Don't males carry the deciding chromosomes? Still, it's an interesting correlation. And if I were any good at conceiving at all, I would give it a try, but we're just gonna have to take what we can get.
Now excuse me while I go eat my breakfast cereal.
Posted by: Sarah at
| Comments (3)
| Add Comment
Post contains 128 words, total size 1 kb.
You know, that is funny. When I was pregnant with my son, I ate more cereal than I probably ever had before. But, I ate it as an evening snack - literally almost every single night! I probably haven't eaten that much cereal in the past 5 yrs since he was born either....odd.
Posted by: Vypergirl at May 03, 2008 04:18 AM (qe77L)
The males carry the deciding chromosome, but the different hormones present in the woman's body make certain genders more likely to "stick".
For instance, X and Y sperm swim at different speeds, thus, depending on the exact time in a woman's fertility cycle that she gets knocked up, the acidity level of the vagina combined with the distance to the egg (how far it has gotten in its journey) and a few other factors influence whether one is more likely to have a boy than a girl - early in the cycle pregnancies tend more often to be girls, and late in the cycle pregnancies tend more often to be boys. In fact, they have done studies documenting that Orthodox Jews have a much greater tendency towards delivering boys because of the religious restrictions placed on when during the cycle a woman and man may have sex.
There's a whole bunch more to it, and even more little bodily quirks and oddities - but it makes sense that what you eat would affect which gender is more likely to "stick" during a pregnancy, since it affects your entire body chemistry.
//sorry - something I had to learn a lot about of necessity...
Posted by: airforcewife at May 03, 2008 04:25 AM (mIbWn)
The study isn't about conceiving a male fetus, it's about carrying it to term. Gender at conception is, of course, determined by the sperm cell. But higher blood sugar (not too high, of course) and a few other factors, mean the male fetus is more likely to survive and be born. It's as simple as that.
Posted by: Gus at May 03, 2008 06:53 AM (3UseY)
| Add Comment
May 02, 2008
YOU MUST BE KIDDING
Why Generation Y is broke
Let me guess...they're retarded?
The 28-year-old New York resident has a master's degree from a prestigious university, a successful career in photography, stamps in her passport from around the globe and, until recently, personal finances that were out of control.
"[Her accountant] wrote me a letter that said, 'You've got to get your life together! Most of these bills aren't even open.' It was a really humbling thing," Wallace says. "But the next time, all my receipts were on a spreadsheet. No one had ever taught me to make a budget or balance a checkbook."
You're kidding me with this, right? No one ever taught me this either. Actually, that's not true: I think I remember having to balance a fake checkbook sometime around middle school for a math class assignment.
But for real, you have a Masters degree and it never occurred to you that you should keep track of your money? Like maybe use Excel or something, the easiest thing in the world. It does the math for you! I'm sure you're also, like, a total math-ophobe. Like numbers and stuff, ick. Who can do that?
"We're in a generation that was kind of shielded from a lot of financial responsibilities," says Wong. "Twenty years ago, when you were in college you didn't have a credit card, and (now) all of a sudden we had to take on debt to go to college. Then we get out of college and we have to have that handbag and an iPod," she says. "It is so easy to take on debt."
OMG, you did not just say that.
Many of these attitudes are evident in our relationships with our parents. Not for nothing have we been labeled the "boomerang generation": We may not all be living in our parents' wood-paneled basements, but a recent Pew survey found that 68% of baby boomers with kids are supporting an adult child financially.
Yep, I know several of them. And on the other end of the spectrum, you have people like me and my husband who, three years after we got married, sent our parents money for all the things we owed them for over the years. The laptop that I swore to my dad I would help pay for when I was in college, yep, never did. So I paid him back three years after I had passed the laptop on to my brother. Because he's my father and not some money tree. Once I realized the true value of money, I realized how much I'd asked of my parents over the years. And I paid them back.
Because I'm a grown-up, and grown-ups don't whine if they can't afford an iPod and they don't take advantage of other grown-ups, even if they happen to be mommy and daddy.
Why do we seem to get article after article these days about why 20 and 30 year olds can't seem to get their shit together? Quit making excuses for them like they weren't taught this in school or it's predatory lenders' fault. No one made her buy the handbag. When I was in college, I had a credit card with a $10,000 limit. I never put a dime on it. It was for emergencies only, and I knew the freaking definition of an emergency. It sure isn't Needing An iPod.
And no one had to teach me that! My parents didn't have to sit down and tell me what I could or could not put on a credit card. It's common freaking sense to not spend money you don't have.
Posted by: Sarah at
| Comments (9)
| Add Comment
Post contains 610 words, total size 3 kb.
Yet another fine example of book smarts equals dumb ass. Did she need a class to know how to use her iPod? Pathetic excuses.
Posted by: tim at May 02, 2008 04:08 AM (nno0f)
Ah, the sweet smell of entitlement in the morning. Soon Apple will be accused of greed and not making their iPods more accessible to the financially "less fortunate". One day accessories might be considered a basic human right in the US (the rest of the world still mocks us)...don't laugh, we're getting there...
Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at May 02, 2008 04:26 AM (irIko)
You're making me get up on my soapbox again!! Can we relate a good part of the current mortgage crisis to people who are just starting out thinking they need 3 -4 bedroom houses with a "man room", a large yard for the dog, and at least 2400 sq ft? Or have I just been watching too much HGTV?
Seriously, for a long time it has seemed to me that many young couples, married and unmarried, do not realize that "starting out" means just that. Starting out with less than they expect to accumulate in say 10- 50 years. People seem to think they should start with what their parents currently have. Do they have no inkling of how long it took to get there?
Okay, I'm climbing down now.
Posted by: Ruth H at May 02, 2008 05:08 AM (BkiKe)
Christ on a crutch! These people make me so mad. I worked 2 jobs in college and I still had to take loans.
I don't believe in credit cards, don't have any, and frankly - don't really miss them.
I know they say children are the future, but with kids like this I'm scared.
Posted by: Mare at May 02, 2008 05:25 AM (EI19G)
Okay, so this is what happens when we try to make everything "just right" for our kids and "give them everything they need" when what they REALLY need is to work for something and have some sense of accomplishment and understanding of what it took to earn that money.
And don't even get me started on 4 bedroom "starter houses".
Posted by: airforcewife at May 02, 2008 06:56 AM (mIbWn)
That is such crap. I'm almost 31 and our personal finances are FINE. I think the only time I was ever 'taught' anything about my checking accounts or anything was in bootcamp--and I went there when I was 24 and had already been living on my own for the past 3 years. So it was pointless. The only debt I had until I got married were my student loans (now we have the car, too), and I've had my own credit card since I was 18. All the bills get paid on time and we never charge more than we can pay off in a single month. To me, that's just common sense.
I don't understand how people can just play ignorant when it comes to this stuff.
Posted by: Ann M. at May 02, 2008 08:51 AM (HFUBt)
Yeah, don't get me rolling on this one.....at my age I watched the credit card companies throw preapproved cards in the mail to me at age 19, 4 at a time and I'm snapping the cards with my name on them already in half as fast as they were coming. But I watched my friends run up debt so fast it made your head spin.....I had a friend in basic training who almost lost her clearance because of it....I just did not understand how she thought that the government would not consider her a threat....my kids, they will get a checking account with a debit card....until they understand the ramifications of credit.
Posted by: A Soldier's Wife at May 02, 2008 10:00 AM (oIINu)
The idea that one can't do anything unless you've been *specifically taught* how to do it seems to be proliferating, and is probably related to the worship of "education."
Posted by: david foster at May 02, 2008 04:43 PM (ke+yX)
Posted by: Will at May 03, 2008 06:02 PM (m5WDW)
| Add Comment
115kb generated in CPU 0.028, elapsed 0.1465 seconds.
57 queries taking 0.126 seconds, 260 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.