January 31, 2008

THE END OF POVERTY

I heard on the TV last night that, before he got out of the election, John Edwards called Clinton and Obama and asked them to promise to keep hammering his message of ending poverty.

Ending poverty...from the most expensive home in his county.

Look, I have nothing at all against Edwards living in that house. But don't talk to us about how there's Two Americas and then live in the one that you have contempt for. That's ridiculous.

Someone who seriously wanted to help fight poverty could get by with a smaller house and use his "extra" money and time to do things in his community that actually help fight poverty: volunteer at an adult education program, donate money to the soup kitchen, whatever. But seriously, stop lecturing us about how we have to pay more in taxes and get by with less in order to end poverty.

End poverty. Snort. There's no such thing anyway; they'd just raise the bar for what constitutes the poverty level.

Posted by: Sarah at 08:42 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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January 28, 2008

THE FLOWERS AND THE ROMANCE AND THE LIES UPON LIES

I read Rachel Lucas' fisking of 10 Things You Should Never Say To A Woman. She is spot on at how stupid they are. Actually, come to think of it, I have never had any man ever say any of those 10 things to me, so either 1) I have surrounded myself with high quality men since puberty or 2) the article is a bunch of hooey.

I will say though, that I have had the opposite experience of #2 ("They both look the same to me"). When we were registering for our wedding gifts, my husband thought I would be mad if he didn't express opinions, so he announced that he liked blue dishes. I searched high and low for suitable blue dishes, thinking that I should do something nice for him since he thought it was important. Turns out that weeks later when I broke down in frustrated tears and apologized to him that I couldn't find any blue dishes...well, he had no idea what I was talking about. He said he was just trying to be involved and pretend like he gave a whit of difference. That's when he got in trouble. Men, if you really don't have a preference, say so rather than making your woman tear her hair out trying to please you over something you made up just so you'd look "caring."

Also, I completely disagree with #9. My husband quotes movie lines to me all the time, and I think it's very romantic. Whether he's telling me in all sincerity that I am his Rushmore, or hamming it up and giving me a creepy "I wish I knew how to quit you," I think it's cute. Because for us, every day is Double Soup Tuesday, and every day we choo-choo-choose to be together.

I feel sorry for men trying to pick up women, worrying about offending her at every turn. Maybe if women weren't so full of themselves they'd be happy with a nice man who treats them like a person instead of a delicate little flower. And maybe poor men wouldn't have to change and fake everything about themselves in the hopes that some woman will like the new him.

Sheesh.

zoidberg.jpg

FRY: OK, you're on a date. What's the first thing you do?

ZOIDBERG: Ask her to mate with me.

FRY: No. Tell her she's special.

ZOIDBERG: But she's not. She's merely the female with the largest clutch of eggs.

FRY: Well, tell her that. And then?

ZOIDBERG: Then mating.

FRY: No. Make up some feelings and tell her you have them. Yes?

ZOIDBERG: Is desire to mate a feeling?

FRY: You're not even trying!

[Zoidberg buries his head in his claws and groans.]

ZOIDBERG: It's all so complicated with the flowers and the romance and the lies upon lies.

Yep, we quote that too. And yes, I consider it romantic when we do.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:07 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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January 26, 2008

DOLPHIN LOVE

See, I told you, I freaking hate dolphins.

Killer dolphins baffle marine experts

It's not really the dolphins' fault; it's dolphin love that I hate. It's the tattoos and the t-shirts and the "healing dolphin therapy" crap.

The smarter a species is, the more it can manipulate its surroundings. Enter murder. Lo and behold, humans aren't the only creature with the brain power and time on their hands to kill for no reason.

Those darling dolphins do it too.

Watching the films, Aberdeen marina biologist Dr Ben Wilson explains yet another shocking phenomenon - that the dolphins use their incredible ultra sound abilties to home in on the vital organs of their victims that will cause most damage.

"The blows are carefully targeted," says Dr Wilson, who is a member of the Scottish Association for Marine Science. "And the attacks are sustained, sometimes up to 30 minutes.

So they intentionally cause maximum damage when they're killing for fun. How quaint. But at least they don't waterboard their prey; that's torture.

God, I freaking hate dolphin love.

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January 25, 2008

I'M SO JITTERY!!

Holy cow, this is exciting. Erin just called me from her car on the way to the hospital; Tucker's birth mother is going into labor!

Stay tuned!

UPDATE:

Holy heck, I want to have a delivery like that! He's already here!

And I burst into tears as soon as she told me.
I am so happy for them...

Posted by: Sarah at 09:35 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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January 23, 2008

I AM JOE'S BURSTING PRIDE

I was in the shower and realized that I had something stuck in my head. Was it a song? What was it? Then I realized that I was just chanting one sentence over and over; I was saying "My name is Sarah" in Farsi. Which is remarkable, because I didn't ever learn to say that. Apparently I have learned some Farsi just by being around it.

My husband took his oral exam yesterday. The proctor said he was one of the best students he's ever seen. I am beaming with pride.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:32 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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January 22, 2008

NOT FUNNY

Hey, rednecks...your shenanigans are not amusing.

I was driving home from grocery shopping today when I saw what appeared to be a man injured or dead lying in someone's front yard. I immediately turned around to go back to help.

OK, so maybe I've watched too much CSI, but your pair of jeans stuffed with leaves to make it look like a body, that's not funny. It makes sense around Halloween, but in January I just get ticked off that I turned around on a major thoroughfare to try to help some non-existent victim.

Yeah, fake dead body jokes...not so funny.

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January 18, 2008

ONE LUCKY BABY

Erin and her husband are all ready for this adoption. They've gotten fingerprinted, had a background check, had a home study from social services, gotten vaccinations for the dogs, answered awkward questions about their personal business, gotten friends and families to fill out forms to vouch for them, and paid a lot of money. Now they're just waiting for the baby to be born so they can take him home.

And I was thinking last night: Don't you wish every child who came into this world would be guaranteed the same things? That every family would've put time and energy into providing the perfect home?

Erin's baby is lucky; he is 100% wanted and will always know that his parents specifically chose him to be a part of their life.

I can't wait for him to come home...

Posted by: Sarah at 02:33 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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January 10, 2008

COLORBLIND LYNCHING?

I heard on the news this morning about the golf commentator who made a joke about lynching Tiger Woods. I don't know what to make of it all, but one thing I did notice is that, if you look at the video, she obviously has no idea that she just said something offensive. There was no wincing, no wide eyes, no recognition whatsoever that she realized that she had just said something that could be construed as racist. None.

So what I wonder is this: isn't that progress? Is there something to the fact that a white woman could quip about lynching someone and have no notion of the racial overtones of what she said? I don't know, I'm really asking. It seems to me that it is a type of colorblindness to publicly make a comment like that. If she had any inkling that what she was saying was racist, she would've immediately reacted, I think. It's like she really didn't associate lynchings with black people. Heck, in a weird way, that's a good thing, right?

A colorblind lynching comment. How absurd. Makes me think of the South Park flag:

408flagbig.gif

I don't know what this means to people. I think the comment was in a different category altogether than Imus, and I genuninely don't think she meant to be racist. And Tiger Woods laughed it off too.

But Al Sharpton licked his chops and got ready for the cameras. Sigh.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:36 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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January 04, 2008

HOW DELIGHTFULLY ABSURD

A comment my brain goes back to all the time came from Joe Willingham over at Porphyrogenitus:

Somebody needs to do a study of learned (both in the one and two syllable versions of the word) stupidity, as opposed to the natural kind. Liberals today believe things that are remarkably stupid, such as that all people are equally intelligent at birth, or that there is no such thing as intelligence, or it there is then differences in intelligence are socially determined and have nothing to do with heredity. That all differences between the sexes are socially constructed. That social classes are the result of a sort of conspiracy and could be abolished if we voted in the right government. That all "cultures" are equal in value. That the reason the Third World is poor is because of the machinations of the corporations and the US government. That we kinda sorta deserved the attacks on 9-11 because we've hurt the Muslims' feelings with our insensitive attitudes.

Waitresses and truck drivers are smart enough not to believe such patent absurdities. The amazing thing is that the majority of English and social science professors and journalists do believe them.

This quote popped into my head again this morning when I read Amy Alkon's slaughter of a HuffPo post, some piece of crap that says that we are all terrorists deep down.

Only an intellectual could say something so stupid.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:16 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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