There's a contest to create a new EU flag. My favorite is the second one down here. I'm still laughing out loud.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:28 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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These photos are simply hilarious. (Found via CavX's sidebar) Also this is funny.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:55 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Did you see that CB's signed a book deal? Commenters at Armor Geddon keep suggesting Red 6 do the same about his time in Fallujah.

Me and Red 6, before he got all famous on us!

I told him when he gets home, as payback for all the boxes I've lugged up to his apartment and trips to the travel agent, he owes me steak and Cristal. He said, "more like Santa Fe Gorditas and Dr. Pepper." Ha. I realized the other day that not only has my husband been gone for a year, but so has one of our best friends. I can't wait to hang out with him again.

(I am seriously out of focus in that photo. What's the deal?)

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After the capture of John Adam, an American renegade took matters into his own hands, issuing an ultimatum to the insurgents:

(Photo taken by my favorite reservist)

Posted by: Sarah at 09:21 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted by: Jason at February 04, 2005 10:32 AM (565iX)

2 LoL. What's next? Combat Barbie taken hostage?

Posted by: Michael at February 04, 2005 10:56 AM (ExF20)

3 Bwahahaha!!!! But wait! Where's Pokey??

Posted by: Barb at February 04, 2005 10:06 PM (q9AXC)

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So does this mean that Leonard Maltin, Sidney Poitier, and Robert Smith are going to Iraq to save the day? Bah-bu-rah, Bah-bu-rah...

(If you're not obsessed with South Park, you might not get this post. But I think it's wicked funny.)

Posted by: Sarah at 03:19 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Posted by: Sarah at 01:53 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The elections are over, the husband is safe and sound, and 30 January is rolling to a close.

I never answered Pixy's question about who should play me in a movie. I guess I'll have to go with Jennifer Connelly. She doesn't particularly look like me -- well, a little, and the long brown hair helps -- but she's my husband's Sam Elliot, the one actress he goes ga-ga over. So rather than compete, I'll just get her to pretend to be me!

MORE TO GROK:

Oh, and I agree with my father-in-law that I was wrong in saying my husband doesn't really look like any actor: he does look an awful lot like Rick Schroeder. Husband's cuter though.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:07 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I heard about that silly Wisconsin voting rule that says that as long as someone vouches for you, you can vote. Maybe we could learn a thing or two about that blue finger dye being used in the Iraqi elections.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:45 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Tanks: good for the environment!

The environmental office works with units that use the training area to identify sections that are off-limits to training to protect endangered or threatened species that live in those areas. In other parts of the training area, the training actually helps wildlife flourish, Rieck said.

“Threatened and endangered species like when the landscape changes,” he said. “With tanks moving through, the land changes and animals are attracted to that.”

An information paper from the environmental office said the tanks compact the soil, creating puddles that the endangered yellow-bellied toad uses to lay eggs.

Ulrich Maushakey, the forest director for the Federal Forestry Office in Grafenwöhr, said if the training were to stop and the area no longer monitored, much of the existing wildlife would likely die off.

“If you keep the land open, all the trees come back, the area would be [overgrown] with weeds and the most parasitic species would take over,” Maushakey said. “With the land kept free of these threats, there is more of a chance for threatened and endangered species to come back.”

Hey, husband, did you see that? Two of my favorite things are symbiotic: tanks and toads!

Posted by: Sarah at 10:55 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Dude, Red 6, we're not the only ones who hate your shelf toilet!

Posted by: Sarah at 09:35 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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So I'm like the last person in the world to review Team America, but I just got back from the theater, and I loved it. I stayed home sick all day, but nothing was keeping me from the movie. I won't rehash all the same praise everyone else has given it; I'll only add that the entire military audience was cracking up.

And this song, which killed me, goes out to my husband:

I miss you more then Michael Bay missed the mark
When he made Pearl Harbor
I miss you more than that movie missed the point
And thatÂ’s an awful lot, girl
And now, now youÂ’ve gone away
And all IÂ’m trying to say is
Pearl Harbor sucked, and I miss you

I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school
He was terrible in that film
I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part
HeÂ’s way better than Ben Affleck
And now all I can think about is your smile
and that shitty movie too
Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you

Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?
I guess Pearl Harbor sucked
Just a little bit more than I miss you

Posted by: Sarah at 04:26 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Hahaha. Perhaps I could get my husband a man-purse with camouflage on the flap like Tommy Lee has. Oh good lord, I can just picture the look on my husband's face if I suggested he get a purse. That's rich. (The man owns three ties, and one is a clip on. Metrosexual, he is not.)

Posted by: Sarah at 02:27 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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I swear I laughed all day Wednesday when I read about SSG Terry-speak. "Personal bandanna" is my absolute favorite; I can't wait to meet this guy in person.

Posted by: Sarah at 06:01 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I can't help but laugh thinking that Christmas for my husband will be more like Xmas on Futurama: In 2801 the Friendly Robot Company built a robotic Santa Claus to determine who'd been naughty and who'd been nice. But Santa malfunctioned and he now thinks everyone is naughty. And when Santa thinks you're naughty he murders you.

He knows when your are sleeping,
He knows when you're on the can,
He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan.
You better not breathe, you better not move,
You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude.
Santa Claus is gunning you down!

Be careful, husband. It's Xmas.

Posted by: Sarah at 06:02 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Cracking up right about now:

"Person of the Year!" I spat. "Person of the FEAR is more like it! Red Alert! Orange Alert! Green Alert! Nipple Alert! Between the phony terror warnings and the FCC thought police monitoring everything I say, I'm afraid to crawl out from under my sink in the mornings anymore. And that ain't the half of it, sister! On Bush's watch, 150 million people lost either their lives, their jobs, or both. Half the country is being outsourced to Pakistan, and the other half has been brainwashed by cross-burning Jesus freaks. As we speak, little children - helpless little children - are being marched into religious gulags posing as public schools, where they're forced to say "under God" in the pledge, or even encouraged to practice abstinence against the very laws of nature. The air is unbreathable, the water is full of arsenic, the Bill of Rights no longer exists, and two normal, law-abiding gay guys can't even walk down the street hand-in-hand without an inbred Repug making fun of their leather chaps and sequined cowboy hats."

"Mr. Chomstein, please."

"And the hegemony...oh, the hegemony!" I continued. "The whole world hates us, our allies despise us, and we're on the brink of nuclear armageddon because Bush and his red state church maggots waged an imperialist war for oil in order to pave the way for their "Messiah" to return, surfing on a tidal wave of AIDS victims and Enron pink slips! Meanwhile, innocent women and children are stripped naked and forced to play leapfrog across Gitmo by leering, chain-smoking midgets with no gaydar, as Donald Rumsfeld sits proudly upon huge pile of Halliburton loot, humvee armor, and crudely written form letters to the families of retarded jocks. The streets have turned to rivers of blood, the whole world hates us, Clinton's record budget surplus has vanished, squirrel numbers are declining, women are sacrificing their careers for their "family", and Jerry Falwell is drilling in ANWR. Peaceblossom is gone, Yassir Arafat is dead, Kirstie Alley is fat, and Mom's eating dog food right out of the can because Bush took away her social security in order to give tax cuts to the wealthiest one percent! If that's what it takes to become Time Magazine's "Person of the Year", then job well done, Dubya! MISSION A-F**KING COMPLISHED!!!!"

I love Liberal Larry.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:33 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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The husband and I have to get divorced. That's all there is to it. What else am I supposed to do after this exchange?

Sarah: everyone keeps telling me that now that I have vacation, I should go home
Sarah: but I cant go home without you
Sarah: we're a team
husband: yes ma'am
husband: team america, fuck yeah
Sarah: ha
Sarah: have you seen it yet?
husband: yes ma'am
Sarah: was it funny?
husband: yes ma'am
Sarah: dang

He left me behind! You never leave a man behind...especially not on the way to a Parker/Stone movie.

(I'm just kidding. He's trying to find a way to get me a copy, but they're sold out.)

Posted by: Sarah at 04:40 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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John Hawkins braves the Democratic Underground again and finds a wonderful example of the irony that happens when Christmas pageants can't mention Christmas.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:38 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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1 Imagine how angry they'd be if they sang about Jesus! I think mayhaps this was the school administration's of sticking it to the complainers. "You want us to not have Christmas? Fine, here's something that will really get in your craw ... America the Beautiful!" PlutosDad http://eyesontheball.blogspot.com News Satire that's Right for you

Posted by: PlutosDad at December 17, 2004 04:30 PM (NRDlq)

2 Schroedinger's Cat! Y'all are cute in a sick sorta way V/R Ed

Posted by: Ed at December 17, 2004 09:37 PM (yBNXx)

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So today is apparently the day to just post funny stuff. This one's for all my reality show addicted friends: Survivor: Texas Style

And this one's for my mama.

Posted by: Sarah at 06:10 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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We're due for a post raving about my husband since I haven't done one in like a couple days now. Every time we chat online, I remember why he's my favorite person in the whole wide world. My husband is not only the smartest man I know, he's also one of the funniest:

Russell: cool about the OIF 4 stuff
Russell: no 1st ID
Sarah: wait, isnt that OIF 3?
Russell: no OIF three is coming in 2 months
Russell: 3rd and 42nd ID
Sarah: dang, I get them confused
Sarah: there are almost as many as the Rocky movies
Russell: Man OIF 5 is gonna suck then

Posted by: Sarah at 05:41 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Another joke:

Politics: It all really just boils down to this:

Criminals:
Democrats: Give them a second chance.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.

The poor:
Democrats: Give them some food.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.

Endangered species:
Democrats: Give them protection.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.

Dictators:
Democrats: Give them a way out.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.

The uninsured:
Democrats: Give them health care.
Republicans: Give them the swift sword of death.

THE COST:
Democrats: $9,000,000,000,000,000,000
Republicans: $29.95 (cost of one sword)

Heh.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:29 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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