December 15, 2004
HEH
And because we all could use a laugh, here's a joke from Oda Mae:
A Baptist minister was seated next to a Marine on a commercial airline flight. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The Marine asked for a scotch and soda, which was promptly placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
The minister replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The Marine handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too. I didn't know that was a choice."
Posted by: Sarah at
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Hilarious!! This is one I would just love to tell in the Sunday School class; unfortunately, they might not see the humor in it. Ha!! ;-)
Jim
Posted by: Jim Shawley at December 15, 2004 10:38 AM (GdKO/)
Posted by: Cerberus at December 15, 2004 10:40 AM (nzIoS)
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Sorry - that was pricEless.
Posted by: Cerberus at December 15, 2004 10:41 AM (nzIoS)
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No sweat. My son is a Marine, so I understand the lack of an occasional E.
Posted by: Mike at December 15, 2004 01:26 PM (cyYKH)
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Brother is a Marine, father is a Baptist minister. Both are getting to hear this story come Christmas.
Posted by: Will at December 15, 2004 07:28 PM (s68AO)
Posted by: mrgimby2u at December 24, 2004 11:38 AM (svXZ8)
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December 07, 2004
JOB PERKS
OK, so I agreed to work tomorrow since my co-worker had already made a doctor appointment. Unfortunately, I had put off a bunch of things that I intended to do tomorrow, like grade papers, shop for a gift for my
Czech orphan, knit an entire hat and scarf as a gift, wrap and send my Christmas presents home, and grade more papers. So now I'm a little stressed that I had planned all these things for tomorrow and I will be sitting at work instead. (If you hadn't figured it out by now, I stress out easily.) Thus I had the following hilarious exchange with my husband online tonight:
Sarah: usch, do you ever feel job stress?
Sarah: dumb question, right?
Husband: umm...a little I guess
Husband: why?
Sarah: but like when you guys have a lot to do, does your stomach feel like you're gonna throw up?
Sarah: cuz that's how I feel this week
Husband: not really
Husband: but if people make me real mad at work I get to shoot them
Man, I love that guy.
Posted by: Sarah at
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How funny! Several weeks ago I wrote an entry about a satire army commercial saying just that: "ever have one of those days at work where you just want to kill someone - join the army and you can." I'm hoping to actually get to film a 30 second spot in March with my new documenatary maker friend.
Posted by: Beth at December 08, 2004 12:44 AM (LuPmF)
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Hehe - now I'm envious! You'd think that with the armies of several nations as customers, we'd be able to call in the occasional favour, but noooo...
Posted by: Dominic at December 08, 2004 05:00 AM (uyRJS)
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You know sometimes it sure would be nice to take care of a problem the your hubbie can, maybe though more like a video game. Like virtual reality video game with people in it who you've got a beef with and "boom" they're gone!
Posted by: Toni at December 08, 2004 08:52 AM (SHqVu)
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Isn't it great having an alternative to just "taking it?" Just think of the utopia your husband has.
Husband: You're making me mad.
Scum bag: What are you going to do about it?
Husband: Bang, bang.
End of story. If only his bliss could be shared with the rest of us. The world would be a better place.
Posted by: Jaundiced Jaw at December 08, 2004 11:24 PM (sABEd)
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December 05, 2004
HEH
Family members love each other, but they often disagree. I've seen many stories from parents who don't respect the military wishes of their child, but here's the story of a
daughter whose beliefs don't jive with her father's. It just gave me a little smile.
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Sarah, sorry, you hit on a pet peeve of mine: the word is "jibe," not "jive." Jive is the type of talk Kerry put out during his campaign.
Posted by: Richard at December 06, 2004 01:16 AM (dY+QS)
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November 29, 2004
WOW
Wow. Someone with WAY too much time on his hands wrote a long and boring pro-Chomsky rant on one of my really old posts. I imagine this guy googled Chomsky stuff and then bombed everyone who had said anything bad about Chomsky. The funny thing is that the post was only somewhat related to Chomsky. Oh, I could have said bad stuff, since his linguistics is garbage and his politics is hilarious, but I didn't say anything about him in this post. Go ye and be bored silly:
Logic and Reasoning: Inside the Mind of an anti-Chomskyite: The Play (Act 1)
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I check Chomsky's blog on occasion. He now requires a $10 fee to "register" and make comments. Last time I checked, there were NO comments on his site.
Posted by: Mike at November 29, 2004 02:38 PM (MqNKC)
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I read through most of the comments. Then I noticed that this person had left TWO comments. One in October, and one in November. I think you're right. WAY too much time on his hands.
Posted by: NightHawk at November 29, 2004 03:40 PM (2BMF+)
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That is way beyond having an excess of time on one's hands. It must have been very slow and quiet in the asylum over the long holiday weekend.
Posted by: Cerberus at November 30, 2004 02:48 AM (nzIoS)
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Mike--so you mean Chomsky is a Capitalist Pig, as well as a Flaming Hypocrite?
Heh.
Just because I enjoy a good laugh, and the DUh is getting dull, what's the address of Chomsky's blog? Please feel free to email it to me if you don't want to soil Sarah's carpet.
Posted by: LCVRWC at December 01, 2004 11:13 AM (etHvD)
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November 22, 2004
MOVIE
CavX found a parody of Fahrencrap 9/11. It's a lengthy clip, and you get the joke after a couple of minutes, but it's worth checking out. I loved the Wal-Mart scene.
Fellowship 9/11
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November 21, 2004
IN A NUTSHELL
I got a hilarious email from a friend who watched
Smallville for the first time because of me:
PS: I finally saw Smallville for the first time tonight. Except for the names, it has nothing to do with the Superman comics whatsoever. I already knew that, but it helps to confirm it. The Chloe character is totally original. I didn't "get" the show. Do all the episodes follow this formula?
- Kryptonite causes something to happen
- Clark resolves it
If you're a Smallville fan too, you'll know just how hilarious that summary is. Pretty much yes, but that's part of its charm.
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October 22, 2004
October 20, 2004
YUCK
My husband just pointed out
this new Onion article.
He wasn't that amused. "I get the parody," he said, "but it's a little sensitive for me."
I thought it was in appallingly bad taste.
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I agree...and "apalling" is an understatement. I truly hope no soldiers were hurt or killed in the photo on page 2.
Posted by: beckie at October 20, 2004 03:39 PM (L5LRS)
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Extremely snarky, and in extremely poor taste. I'm guessing that none of the staff at the Onion are veterans. I'm also betting that none of them have friends or family in the military. I used to really enjoy their articles, but in the last 6 months or so, they've pretty much just become shills for the DNC. That's okay, we've still got Team America.
Posted by: Chadd at October 20, 2004 06:00 PM (oJZdw)
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October 19, 2004
HEH
Is it just me, or does
this look like it could be the cover of an REM album?
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October 18, 2004
WEIRD
I went to Poland on Saturday. At one store, they were selling commemorative plates with George Bush and John Kerry on them, for some bizarre reason. One of them will be worth bupkis in a few weeks.
We also had a comical moment when we tried to go to a Polish grocery store. Apparently you can't go into the store carrying any bags, because a security guard came chasing after us as soon as we walked in. As he barked at us, we looked at him and said, "English? Deutsch?" Apparently he didn't speak either, but he decided to help us out by speaking in v-e-r-y slow Polish. Ha.
Posted by: Sarah at
07:15 AM
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Sarah,
You know when that happened, I realized that I've done that to people who don't speak English. As if speaking slowly is going to make them understand any better! It was pretty funny though. If you didn't look like such a thug, maybe they wouldn't have come after us...
Posted by: Erin at October 18, 2004 02:31 PM (wurkW)
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October 15, 2004
SARAH
My friend just emailed me and pointed out that one of the Team America characters is named Sarah.
Excellent. Thank you, Matt and Trey!
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She even looks like you!
Posted by: Mike at October 15, 2004 07:33 AM (MqNKC)
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You can go to the Team Amercia Website and create your own Team America character.
http://www.teamamericamovie.com/
Posted by: James Hudnall at October 15, 2004 10:30 AM (FV8Tp)
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Might be nothing more than coincidence.
Then again.......
Kalroy
Posted by: Kalroy at October 15, 2004 08:53 PM (i9w6W)
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Oddly enough, my sister called me tonight telling me I have to see this movie. She saw it with her husband in Florida this evening.
She's ex-EOD, and her name is Sara too.
Posted by: John at October 16, 2004 03:34 AM (+Ysxp)
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This is the funniest movie ever!
Posted by: Tanker Schreiber at October 16, 2004 08:18 AM (0Qszv)
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You know it's good when these people are annoyed.
Michael Moore fan Roger Ebert
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20041014/REVIEWS/40921007
Slate's Movie Critic
http://slate.com/id/2108232/
Posted by: James Hudnall at October 16, 2004 04:52 PM (FV8Tp)
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October 14, 2004
October 10, 2004
GREEN WITH ENVY
Oh MAN am I jealous!
Hud got to see Team America! Many soldiers down in Iraq have been going nuts buying bootleg DVDs, but my husband and I haven't gotten into that. However, I told him that he must buy Team America if he sees it because I'm afraid I might not see it here otherwise. Of course I'll buy the official copy when it comes out, since I'm a firm believer in putting as much money as possible into Parker and Stone's pockets, but I don't want to have to wait until next year to see it. I can barely wait as it is!
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I saw it this past weekend in a sneak preview. It was absolutely hilarious, as long as you can deal with the constant expletives, excrement jokes and raunchy sex-related humor. Most surprising was the hammering applause from the mostly teenage audience at the end. The best part was the music, The worst part was that you can't repeat ANY of the funniest lines in public.
Posted by: CavalierX at October 11, 2004 03:45 PM (sA6XT)
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I am planning on seeing it as soon as possible, especially, after I found out that Sean Penn is terribly upset about the movie:-)
Posted by: Pamela at October 12, 2004 07:02 PM (AOFgp)
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October 05, 2004
STUCK
OK, now
THIS was definitely the laugh I needed today.
Those poor guys!
And this was freaking funny too.
(both via Iraq Now)
Posted by: Sarah at
09:46 AM
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BINGO
Now
this game is really funny! I wish I had found this before I watched the debate rerun. (Make sure to check out all four pages!)
Posted by: Sarah at
04:44 AM
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September 30, 2004
MOCKING
fad had me laughing out loud. At work. Big guffaws.
Go check out
this post, where he announces his intention to become a big-time blogger, and then start scrolling up.
You know you spend too much time at the computer when you recognize everyone he's mocking.
Posted by: Sarah at
10:29 AM
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September 16, 2004
HA
One Iranian boy had the same
reaction that I did to
Fahrencrap 9/11: "I was bored from the middle, and I wished we had gone to see "Kill Bill" instead."
Posted by: Sarah at
03:50 AM
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If I were you, I wouldn't go around bragging about how I have the same attention span as a 8-year-old boy (who probably has to dodge depleted uranium bullets as he runs to his largely destroyed school each day).
I also understand the same boy read My Pet Goat in less than seven minutes.
Posted by: bushgirlsgonewild at September 16, 2004 03:28 PM (vzHiG)
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By the way, did you ever think that he was bored because he's already seen the middle of the movie EACH AND EVERY DAY?
Posted by: bushgirlsgonewild at September 16, 2004 03:30 PM (vzHiG)
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Uh, can you read? IraNNNNian.
Posted by: Oda Mae at September 16, 2004 03:57 PM (buTJw)
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What part of "young man" makes you think he's 8 years old? I sure hope you're not taking 8 year olds to either Crap 9/11 or Kill Bill...
Posted by: Sarah at September 16, 2004 04:14 PM (k8o6c)
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What part of your text states "young man"? Your own words are "One Iranian boy"; are you now going to bring out an adminstration spokesman a la Bushism to clarify what you really meant?
I only take kids to see horror films, like the Zell Miller's vien-popping and ARGNOLD's faux-history lesson at the RNC.
Posted by: bushgirlsgonewild at September 16, 2004 05:14 PM (vzHiG)
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What part of "click on the link and read the f-ing original before you insult someone" don't you understand?
Posted by: Sarah at September 17, 2004 01:48 AM (jxLke)
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September 10, 2004
LONGING
You know what I want? More people in my immediate day-to-day life who would laugh at an off-the-cuff
Micah Wright reference. Heck, I can't even get away with a Jayson Blair joke in class without my students looking at me blankly. I'd kill to have one person walk into my office and say, "Oh, you're reading blogs?" Sigh.
Posted by: Sarah at
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I think you're funny and smart. So save your humor for your blog. It's appreciated here.
Posted by: Kathleen A at September 11, 2004 02:01 AM (vnAYT)
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MEMOS
My mom and I got sick yesterday. I went in to work but had to leave early, and I'm playing hooky today too. Actually, it's not so much "playing hooky", seeing as I feel like I could die. What a vacation, huh? But I can't sleep any more -- I have slept 11 hours already -- so I'm reading blogs in between getting sick.
So I hear this morning there are some fake memos floating around? (in my best Ace Ventura voice) Reeeeally? Blame Bush! has copies of the memos, and I don't see how anyone could have fallen for them in the first place.
Laughing seriously hurts today.
MORE TO GROK:
See also Scrappleface and Puce for good parodies.
Posted by: Sarah at
03:31 AM
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COLLECT UNDERPANTS
Deskmerc brings to mind the Underpants Gnomes from South Park:
Gnome 2: Phase I we collect underpants.
Gnome 1: Ya, ya, ya. But what about Phase II?
[Silence]
Gnome 2: Well Phase III is profit. Get it?
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