I am doing really well, just to let you know. Man, a natural miscarriage is SO much easier than an induced one. I imagine it's the same type of scenario as the difference between going into labor on your own and being spontaneously induced. This time has been gradual and virtually pain-free; I took 2 or 3 doses of some stronger meds, and then I took two ibuprofen for another day and a half. That's it! I can't believe the difference.
They're monitoring my hormone levels to make sure the process has completed itself, but I can't get over how easy this time was...and thankfully so, considering I don't really have the luxury of lounging in bed all day to recover!
Feeling fine, and ready to flip this coin again and see where it takes us.
STARTING AHEAD OF SCHEDULE
Perhaps it's because I've already had a baby, I don't know, but my body seems to be reacting differently this time around. It appears I may miscarry this baby on my own without need for the medicine. We'll see as days go on if it looks like the process is complete, but for now it seems the miscarriage has started on its own...
She is so cute! I love girlie clothes! I have two boys and while they have the best toys (trains, Nerf guns, model rockets etc.), I do wish I had a little girl I could dress up! So precious. (it may by a good thing, I already go broke on things like Rokenbok)
Posted by: Christa at April 06, 2011 05:57 PM (2qSbp)
Cute -- and the perfect age (Quiet, sleeps nites and doesn't get into things (much) !)
Posted by: None at April 07, 2011 12:53 PM (JKAuh)
I love how she is rocking the perfect shade of pale yellow with classic keds. Without any effort she is already a blossoming fashionista.
Posted by: Yvonne at July 31, 2011 10:57 PM (paYIe)
So we all filed into the ultrasound room today, me and two other ladies, and all our husbands, and also Baby Grok. We looked like a parade of hand-wringers. And while it used to tear my heart out to hear other people's fantastically alive ultrasounds, it didn't bother me to be seen last this time. While Baby Grok toddled around and played with the stirrups, I eavesdropped excitedly to hear whether they'd be able to discern the sex of the twins one couple was having (they couldn't yet). And I was happy to hear that the other couple's baby was still healthy and strong, since I actually know this woman and have seen her try to have a baby for a while now too.
And then it was my turn, and Schroedinger's cat never became a cat in the first place. I have an empty yolk sac, just like two previous pregnancies.
I will go back next week to confirm, and then I will get a prescription for the gut-wrenching medicine and take it the next weekend while my husband is home to care for Baby Grok for me. Sadly, it will be our last weekend together before he leaves for a three-month Army course.
And I will have to travel to see him at appropriately-scheduled intervals to try to make Pregnancy #6 be a heads.
I'm OK. Disappointed that we flipped wrong this month, frustrated that I can't consult my eggs first and make a good one come out instead, but OK.
So let's have a giggle and appreciate what we have: here's Baby Grok napping with her butt in the air.
TWO NIGHTS OF WINE
I nearly just typed "Last week was Baby Grok's birthday." But it's actually been three weeks. How time flies. I had every intention of commemorating the event here, but I didn't get around to it.
I'm not sure who still checks here, but if you do, there's news today.
I'm pregnant again.
Last week I took five negative pregnancy tests. I was pretty bummed out and getting fairly obsessive again about cycles and luck. Today I took two positive tests. Don't know why that is, but it is.
Obviously, the same probability applies this time around too, and I still have a coin toss chance of another miscarriage. But I remain happy that we made it past the getting-pregnant step and now just have to focus on the staying-pregnant step.
And I find this quite humorous: I nursed Baby Grok for the full year and had been slowly weaning her. We had just taken the step of cutting out her nighttime nursing, and I was happy that I'd now be able to have a guilt-free glass of wine with dinner.
I had two nights of wine.
Fingers crossed and prayers offered that I don't get any more wine for another two years...
I hope so much for you to stay pregnant! Your little one will enjoy being a big sis. My grandson was 3-1/2 when his baby sis was born a year ago. The love they have for each other is wonderful to see. Need I say that parents and grandparents love them both to pieces. Good luck, and congratulations for having gotten past the first hurdle.
Posted by: HChambers at March 21, 2011 09:31 PM (m6pqD)
Congratulations! I'll send prayers and good thoughts!
Posted by: Amber at March 21, 2011 10:02 PM (vrFWY)
Posted by: beth at March 22, 2011 08:00 AM (i6nrx)
Huzzah! Very excited for you. I feel vaguely guilty sometimes because I know more about your kid (and Buttercup Fleming at IMAO) than actual children in my actual family.
(We found it easier to catch the second time, too, for what that's worth, though we didn't go through a fraction of what you did the first time around.)
Posted by: Stacy at March 22, 2011 06:27 PM (n8pne)
Terrific news!!! I'll have a glass of wine in celebration!
Posted by: Pamela at March 23, 2011 02:05 AM (WkReP)
So.....since I have sacrificed FB and Twitter for the Lenten season, I've slightly out of touch with what's going on in the small little world we rotate on...very glad I decided to check Reader again. Such wonderful news. I will gladly send up a prayer, or a few, for you. It's been heart warming following your parenting journey. Congrats to all of you on this first step...
Posted by: Tracy at March 24, 2011 12:40 AM (vFImS)
Here's hoping your body figured out what it's supposed to do to complete a baby and this one sticks!
You guys make wonderful parents!
Posted by: deltasierra at March 24, 2011 01:12 PM (OjLVw)
Wow! Grats! I know your struggle with Baby Grok and the pain of the miscarriages and that struggle between Hope and Eager Excitement and wanting to protect yourself incase It happens again. I will be praying that you have a second very happy, healthy, wiggly baby to keep your baby girl and you and your hubby busy with!
Posted by: Darla at March 24, 2011 02:34 PM (EsO0b)
Oh, congratulations, Sarah!
Fingers and prayers crossed for you!!!
All manner of happy pregnant thoughts headed your way...
Posted by: Krista at March 25, 2011 12:32 AM (O401W)
Today was our baby's three month birthday. Which means we made her a year ago, tee hee. This year I made socks instead of a baby...
Or did I...
I do find myself often thinking that I'd like to just go ahead and aim for the second one now, to get all the infant years done at once. If life starts to get too cushy, I am not sure I'll want to go back to the beginning.
But I'm also not sure I want to take care of a baby while I'm pregnant.
I'm definitely sure that I don't have much say in the matter though, and we'll flip another heads whenever a heads comes along...
In the meantime, making us matching socks keeps me happy.
I love those socks...so cute! I crocheted a pair of booties for my little guy that never did fit him correctly, and I haven't made time to really crochet anything in the last few months, though he had a few cute hats over the wintertime.
Beowulf and I have already talked about starting to try for #2 when he comes home. Aerost will be 10 months at that point, but I'm not expecting to get pregnant right away. If it doesn't take too long this time, I expect that it will be difficult caring for a toddler while pregnant, but still well worth it. Hopefully I'll at least have Beowulf's help, though.
Posted by: Leofwende at June 10, 2010 12:37 AM (28CBm)
I know there are a few pregnant ladies who read this blog, so I thought I'd steal a few free minutes to write an AAR.
As I told one of these friends recently, having the baby is everything you imagined it would be...only moreso. That's about the only way I can describe the situation. Logically I knew everything that was going to happen, but until it really happened, I had never fully grokked it.
Labor hurts, more than you think it will. Breastfeeding hurts and is hard, harder than you think you will be. You will not be grossed out by your baby's poop, like you think you would be. Your heart will completely stop when your baby chokes and stops breathing for a second, which is scarier than I ever imagined. And you will be tired, WAY more than you think you will be.
It's just everything you knew it would be, only more.
More love, too. I didn't know it was possible to love someone as much as I love my babies. There are no words strong enough. You know you're going to love them, but more.
Posted by: Amber at March 21, 2010 11:58 AM (karIz)
Surely there are positives, too?! Please oh please oh please share the positives too!!!! What am I getting myself into?!
Posted by: Courtney at March 21, 2010 02:49 PM (rwOt0)
The first 6 weeks for me were hard. Beautiful, but hard. I totally agree about the labor and breastfeeding and all of that. And the love, as Amber said. But aside from baby still being alive and seeming relatively content, it's hard sometimes to not have much in the way of positive reinforcement from the baby. Most of the noises and faces newborns make are in the way of complaints or sleeping. But at about 6 weeks - for my son, 6 weeks to the day - that beautiful little bundle of joy will smile for the first time, and your whole world will seem to be bathed in sunlight. And then they will do it again, and again, and more often.
My son, at 6 months old now, gives me these looks like I am everything wonderful in the entire world and it just melts me every time. There is nothing better than that feeling, I think. It is A-MAZ-ING.
Posted by: Leofwende at March 21, 2010 06:02 PM (28CBm)
I second what Amber said. The love... And the first smile... and when she laughs for the first time! Its the most beautiful sound you've ever heard!!!
Posted by: Jen D at March 22, 2010 12:13 AM (h8XAc)
I was absolutely amazed how much laundry a 7 lb baby could make. It is hard to fathom. But my kids are in their 20's and they still sometimes bring their laundry home, and it is STILL more than I can fathom. So maybe it's just a mystery.
Breastfeeding gets easier. Can't say the fatigue goes away that quickly though. Hang in there. Post more pictures. Then you will get lots of comments about how adorable she is and that will be like a shot of adrenaline. (and we will love the pictures)
Posted by: Amy at March 22, 2010 10:02 AM (Cy1WK)
You want positives? Try these: First (non-gas) smile. First roll-over. First giggle. First time they stop crying just because you picked them up. First time the fall asleep on your shoulder. First time they pull themselves up to stand. First steps. First time they use pull-ups. Last time they use pull-ups. First time they feed themselves. First time they give YOU a kiss and hug. First day of kindergarten. First day of summer vacation. First time their fever breaks. First time they run naked through the house. First lost tooth. First tooth. First haircut. And every time they need something fixed, they bring it to you.
Eventually, they will try to do things for themselves, but until that time, YOU are their whole existence. They depend on YOU for everything. You never know just how able a person you are until you've provided for someone's every need and want.
Posted by: Chuck at March 22, 2010 08:49 PM (bMH2g)
I had my 39 week appointment Monday morning. I had been having contractions over the weekend, but nothing that I felt was enough to warrant going to the hospital. At my appointment they determined I was already 5 cm: halfway there! And that I was having regular contractions. It was news to me, as I was feeling fine.
They admitted me at about 1:00 and started me on penicillin because I was GBS positive. I would need four hours on the IV in order for the baby to get all the meds. They decided to break my water at 3:30, figuring I'd have plenty of time before baby arrived. I assumed she'd get here around midnight...
As soon as my water broke, the pain kicked in, and I started dilating fast. I finally decided I wanted an epidural, and they checked me as they called the anesthetist. I was already 10 cm. So I just decided to go for it.
They set me up to push and I closed my eyes and pushed with everything I had. I was concentrating so hard and was in so much pain that I never knew what was happening: the baby's heart rate went berserk. The midwife grabbed the scissors they use to cut the umbilical cord and started cutting me in all directions, while the doctor grabbed the vacuum. She came out and they whisked her away to check her out. I didn't get to see her for the first hour, which broke my heart, but thankfully her Daddy and Gramma got to spend the time with her.
Meanwhile, I had to get put back together again. And let me say, I never really understood the gravity of the words "tear" and "episiotomy." I do now.
She looks just like her Daddy, which I love. We are working hard on breastfeeding, with about 85% success. We got home this evening and Charlie went bonkers. He wants to lick her constantly. She squeaks, just like his toys.
We are happy...
(Daddy just said that he hopes her SSN shows up soon so he can open her accounts. "She's been alive for two days and she doesn't have any money yet." And then Charlie licked the top of her head. I love my family.)
Wow! Sounds like it was scary for a minute there, I'm so happy everything came out perfect in the end. I'm just so thrilled for all 3 of you (Charlie too!). She is just beautiful!
Posted by: Jen D at March 03, 2010 08:28 PM (h8XAc)
Oh my goodness...She does look just like Daddy. I'm so glad all of your hard work paid off, Sarah. I'm so happy for you.
Posted by: Erin at March 03, 2010 08:31 PM (GrgeU)
BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL! You are blessed. I am so happy for you. <3
Posted by: Amber at March 03, 2010 08:40 PM (1qEF0)
Long time lurker just calling in to say she's simply beautiful. Congratulations Sarah!
I do hope you'll share the name you've picked for her, but I completely understand if you choose not to. All the luck in the world as you get to know your little one and get used to being a family complete with bub.
Posted by: Justine at March 03, 2010 08:40 PM (u4Ar6)
Posted by: Laura at March 03, 2010 09:51 PM (3HIua)
An exciting delivery, and worth every minute of it. What a wonderful baby. She looks so pretty and chubby, I would love to give her a hug. No wonder Charlie wants to lick her! It's doggie kisses and he's feeling maternal.What a treat to see your baby and you at such a blessed time. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: Ruth H at March 03, 2010 10:06 PM (YpblU)
So very glad she's safely born. What a cutie! Is it being in the military that makes us so SS# conscious? We got that taken care of way, way, way before a birth certificate. Like, months =).
Posted by: Lucy at March 03, 2010 10:24 PM (YNvUz)
I never wrote my birth story, though I intended to. My husband did it for me, and did such a great job that I just linked to his blog.
Posted by: Deltasierra at March 04, 2010 01:04 AM (/Mv9b)
Congratulations to the both of you!!! What a beautiful baby girl you guys have produced
Well worth the wait and drama i'd say.. May you enjoy this wonderful time together
Posted by: orlane at March 04, 2010 01:09 AM (Lvvfw)
Congrats again! I love when people have accidental natural births! Glad your baby is here and in your arms. Keep up the good work with breastfeeding, it hurts like hell for two weeks but then its so worth it!
Posted by: gina at March 04, 2010 06:02 AM (TQYlv)
Posted by: Lissa at March 04, 2010 08:53 AM (eSfKC)
She's beautiful! I'm so happy for you and your family. Congratulations!
Posted by: Val L. at March 04, 2010 09:02 AM (F4Qv7)
So full of joy for you, Mr. Grok, baby and Charlie. Thank you for sharing your story and pix with us. If you don't want to share her 'real' name with us, can you pick a 'blog name' to refer to her by? She seems so anonymous. Maybe you should have a naming contest..... I suggest BG for 'baby grok'.
At any rate, enjoy your babymoon, be patient with the breastfeeding, and just revel in this new beginning. So wonderful!
Posted by: Amy at March 04, 2010 10:40 AM (Cy1WK)
I'm not sure when I started reading your blog, but I always knew Baby Grok would become a reality. Internet people know this stuff, you know
Posted by: Susan at March 04, 2010 11:29 AM (4aKG6)
It was a life saver for me. And be sure to take it easy so you are completely healed.
Good luck with breastfeeding. Don't be shy about using your finger to break the suction and try again if she doesn't latch properly. I was the first time around and nursed for 3 weeks with a poor latch, which caused major nipple pain that I thought was normal. Proper latch fixed everything.
Enjoy your new family.
Posted by: Christa at March 04, 2010 11:51 AM (2qSbp)
I don't have words to say what this means to me. But your story has given me hope, and I am sure it has given hope to countless other people.
Posted by: Talia at March 09, 2010 11:42 AM (qWzEG)
Sarah, I had tears as I read this. A MILLION times congratulations on your beautiful daughter! I know you waited for her and wish you and your family all the happiness in the world. You deserve it so much.
Posted by: Penny at March 09, 2010 06:55 PM (qEtCN)
IS NESTING THE SAME AS TWEEKING?
Husband: I think you'll make a wonderful mother. Sarah: You do? Husband: Yes,
and so does everyone else on the internet. Then again, everyone on the
internet thinks Ron Paul would make a good president so...we'll see.
My husband is getting impatient. He wants to hold her and be with her. Me, I just feel nervous. I have begun to get frightened of the pain. I am in a cranky mood and want to be simultaneously left alone and completely taken care of. I hurt a lot of the time. I want the hurt to turn into labor, so I try to stoke it. But it doesn't; it's just pointless pain.
I am not nesting so much as freaking out that I have wasted the past eight years of married life. Why didn't I clean the garage or finish that quilt or sort through worthless old college textbooks? What if today is the day and I still haven't gotten the oil changed in my car?
I don't feel like a good mom. I feel like I'm already starting out on the wrong foot.
it is totally normal to panic and worry! If it makes you feel any better, you'll probably spend a good amount of time once she's here in panic and worry mode about all kinds of things....maybe that doesn't help!
Posted by: sharona at February 27, 2010 09:55 AM (BeRta)
Don't worry! Your ducks are in a row. You and the babe are more important now. Chores and projects can wait! Try to enjoy these last days of having a baby without all the work at the moment...do you get what I mean?
As far as labor goes you can handle it. Have hubby remind you that there is a very wonderful result of this labor. (hint: hubby, encourage but don't be too pollyannish! pick your moments,you'll get what I mean.)
Last but not least do what is good and right for you and don't listen too much to all of us. Not everyone has 80 hour labors! They just like to tell stories, kinda like fish stories. I liked the shower and I had a rocking chair in the room that I spent most of my time in. You will know what you need when you need it.
Eat you favorite things, read a good book, watch Dick Van Dyke reruns whatever...enjoy.
Posted by: cindy h at February 27, 2010 10:14 AM (gcBP7)
Ian arrived so quickly that the phrase "muzzle velocity" was bandied about. No drugs, not TOO much pain (she says). Sometimes it's easy.
Posted by: Sig at February 27, 2010 02:58 PM (/Mv9b)
You got all the important stuff done already. It's fine. I promise. The rest of it will all get done one day. You can always assign those jobs to people who come over and ask you what you need help with, And labor, honestly, it's different for everyone, but you'll handle any pain that comes your way. I promise, none of it will matter to you in the long run.
Posted by: Ann M. at February 27, 2010 05:28 PM (+GQ3g)
Honestly, I think you're right where you need to be. Life isn't life without "what ifs" and second guessing. I believe it's what gives us our second nature. 4 hours before we were supposed to leave for China to bring Olivia home, I had not yet been to bed, was blogging and then finished packing.
You're going to be a fantastic mom...the internets will back me on this one.
Posted by: Susan at February 27, 2010 09:07 PM (URuXw)
Heh... Ron Paul works his way into a parenting conversation. Sweet.
On the chores note, you'll be asking yourself, "why did I think I was so busy back ___?" for the next few decades... so no worries.
Gotta leave something home-chore-ish for you to do with her!
Kids LOVE to help (especially when they're little)!
FWIW, I had an OB PA (who's had kids) tell me that if I could handle those "clean it out now" tablets, I can definitely handle labor. I haven't been through anything to test that hypothesis yet, but I like to believe her.
You'll do great.
Posted by: Krista at February 27, 2010 10:58 PM (sUTgZ)
NOT QUITE MENTALLY PREPARED
The good news is the bed rest worked. The bad news is the bed rest worked. I am stuck at the same dilation and effacement that I was at two weeks ago.
And really, other than the fact that life is exponentially more painful now than it was then, I guess I am OK with that.
Last night I had a bit of a freakout. I somehow feel like I am still not ready. I don't feel anxious to
get the baby out (other than because of the pains) because I am still
scared to death of having to take care of her. I feel like everything
I've read about labor and newborn care is not enough and I still feel
overwhelmed and unprepared. I am feeling the weight of the awesome responsibility that is motherhood, and I am OK with postponing it for another
week or so.
Plus we still need to paint her bookshelf. And a million other
Sounds to me like you are right where every first time mother is before the birth, feeling overwhelmed. You are going to have complete responsibility for a new person. It is an awesome responsibility and if anyone is prepared it, you are. Its not the books you read, it what is in your heart.
Posted by: Ruth H at February 22, 2010 02:22 PM (JCV5R)
I remember reading up mere hours before checking into the hospital like I was cramming for a test. You're never "ready," just willing. Like Ruth H writes, "what is in your heart" matters more than what you know.
Posted by: Lee Anne at February 22, 2010 03:01 PM (FXhFB)
If you can feel the weight of motherhood mentally as well as physically, your heart has what it takes.
Posted by: Amritas at February 22, 2010 03:19 PM (+nV09)
I'm just so happy for you that all is in place and ready to go. So looking forward to reading that She has arrived. Welcome your hubby home from those of us that have been following this journey that the three of you have been on.
Posted by: Laura, A Military Mom at February 22, 2010 03:24 PM (oLHZ3)
I was so happy to hear that he made it home in time! I know less than zero about how deployment works, but I was wondering when he has to go back, if he does.
You never feel ready, but the most important thing is that when she comes all she'll really want is you, a clean onesie and a dry diaper. So, if you have those things covered, the rest is gravy.
I remember with my first feeling that first day home from the hospital that he was a stranger to me, this new little person I was getting to know for the first time. Once I realized that it was a relationship (meaning, two-way) and that we both needed to get to know the other, (what he liked and didn't; for him to know he could depend on me) it seemed much easier.
Good luck! And although it will likely be the last thing you'll be worrying about, do you think you could leave the keys to your blog to a friend who could give us an update when the time does come?
Posted by: Christa at February 22, 2010 04:04 PM (2qSbp)
Christa -- The absolute soonest he'd deploy again is November. And that's not so likely. Hopefully we'll have him home for a while.
And AirForceWife is already prepped to spread the word on my blog once I'm in the hospital!
Posted by: Sarah at February 22, 2010 05:31 PM (gWUle)
Just wait until you carry her out of the hospital! I remember feeling like it was all surreal and couldn't believe they actually trusted me to take my baby home. By myself. To care of all alone. Hee-hee!
You're never really "ready", IMO. It's so much awesomer (yes, I said awesomer), profound, and breath-taking than you can possibly understand or expect ahead of time.
I'm smiling thinking about the joy that lays ahead of you and your husband. I'm so happy for you. :-)
Posted by: Heather at February 22, 2010 06:39 PM (9k/pz)
If you are feeling like you aren't ready to be a mom, you're a little late in the planning cycle.
Just follow the instruction booklet they give you when you leave the hospital and everything will be fine.
If you weren't worried, I'd be worried. It's natural. You are just as equipped as every other woman to be a mother, but your are phenomenally more qualified for motherhood and parenting than most of the folks dragging their brood around between peopleofwalmart photo shoots.
Really, what's the worst that can happen? This is a mutant baby. It will survive anything. She already overcame your (apparently) tremendously recessive genes; genes that are so recessive and hate reproducing so much that I'm in awe that you actually heal from minor scrapes! She will be fine, if not exposed to green kryptonite, and you manage to lay off the crack pipe and not huff paint while breast feeding.
As fare as raising her goes, given her parents--she'll be winning the hearts and minds of the other kids in preschool and building them a new, better and state of the art playground as soon as they inform on who ate all the paste, then blogging about how much she misses charlie when she is away at school and he's at home. I can see it now--Twying to gwok.
Or maybe you'll be on a "Very Special Episode" of Springer with me and my family. Either way, you do the best you can with what you've got and hope for the best.
Posted by: Chuck at February 22, 2010 07:31 PM (bMH2g)
sarah, like the others have said, I think it's natural to feel nervous, anxious, excited. PLUS, you've had quite a ride over the last few years getting to this point PLUS your husband has been deployed for the better part of the year... I'd say that qualifies to feeling a little unsure of all of this. I think you just do what feels 'right'. Consult the books, doctors, friends and parents when you need to (and everyone will have a different opinion), but at the end of the day, just give her alot of hugs, and make sure she's fed. She will thrive and so will you.
Posted by: Keri at February 22, 2010 10:10 PM (dtvJC)
You are going to do great! You can do all the reading in the world, but then your instincts just kick in and you figure things out! You and your man will do a great job and she will know she is soooo loved!
Posted by: Stacy at February 23, 2010 12:02 AM (oubiR)
Think of this; throughout most of history women haven't had books or doctors to help them. It would never occur to husbands that they should help with the baby or to wives to expect help. Women relied on their Moms, other female relatives and friends for answers to parenting questions and even though a lot of those answers were just old wives tales, most of the new Mamas and babies managed just fine.
Then think of the resources you have at your finger tips, any question you have can be answered either by doctors or books or bing. But, my guess is that most of your questions will be answered by your Mom, your female relatives and your friends. Because, they've already been there, done that, and have the drool on their best clothes to prove it. Plus, you have a husband who is ready, willing and able to help with the baby any time (as soon as you show him which end to burp and which end to diaper). You are both intensely focused on doing everything possible to make your new baby know she is welcome and loved. Mama, daddy and baby are gonna be just fine!!
Posted by: Pamela at February 23, 2010 02:03 AM (f+d6l)
P. S. My granddaughter is 15 months old, when she was 12 months she weaned herself. My mother said when a baby weans herself like that she's getting out of the way for the next one. My daughter is 9 weeks pregnant with their second. It was not planned. Could be something to those old wives tales!!
Posted by: Pamela at February 23, 2010 02:11 AM (f+d6l)
You will figure it out, and then she'll change the rules. You'll figure out the new game, and she'll change it again. But you're a smart woman. You will always figure it out, or know the right person to ask.
Posted by: Ann M. at February 27, 2010 12:17 AM (+GQ3g)
I had another appointment last night and this doctor was much calmer. She thinks my body is not reacting like a first-time mom because I have had to be induced three times already to have my miscarriages. So taking that into consideration, she thinks I can easily make it until my husband gets home. Thus I'm just going to keep taking it easy and hopefully can hang on to baby for one more week.
And then my husband will be home...
I have given almost no thought to the fact that the deployment is almost over. I have been so preoccupied with the baby that I haven't let myself get too excited over my husband's return. But he should be here in about a week or so.
I can't wait to lie on the bed with him and let him feel the baby kick. I want him to walk in the door and never take his hands off my tummy. I am so excited to finally experience that together.
Oh, JOY!! For assuredly you deserve every moment of it!!
Posted by: Lissa at February 12, 2010 10:09 AM (eSfKC)
Lissa's right, Oh, JOY!! Enjoy every blessed minute of it, you've earned it!
Posted by: Tibby at February 12, 2010 12:13 PM (S/Fac)
I'm glad she thinks you can make it. I really, really hope he gets at least a few hours to experience baby-on-the-inside, and that you can see her face for the first time together. I'm glad he's so close to coming home.
Posted by: Lucy at February 12, 2010 12:41 PM (YNvUz)
We are in the middle of this awful blizzard area and our internet has been down for the past 3 days. My work was backing up, I was out of touch with the world, had no idea what was going on (satellite didn't work for tv either) and all I could think of was "Did Sarah have her baby???" Glad to be back online (whew) and see that you are ok. He will be home before you know it. And then a whole new wonderful chapter will begin..........
Posted by: Amy at February 12, 2010 12:52 PM (Cy1WK)
I wish I could send my luck quotient for the next couple of months to you. Â I don't usually seem to get a lot, but I'd send it in a heartbeat so it all falls into place.
I'll have to settle for crossed fingers or something. Â
Posted by: Code Monkey at February 12, 2010 08:15 PM (AxVal)
This will be super exciting!!!
Yea! Nothing like experiencing all this in the same zip code.
I can so relate to what you're saying about the counting down. I have some preoccupations here myself and I lose sight of the fact that he will be home and THEN we take the big trip. Of course, if I wait until he's home to prep for the big trip, we're in trouble!
Can't wait 'til he's home for you and the baby!!
Posted by: Guard Wife at February 12, 2010 09:29 PM (2IXlO)
Almost there! On all accounts! I hope he gets to experience the pregnancy for a good moment or two before you both get to hold your new bundle in your arms
I'm so very happy for you!
Posted by: Darla at February 13, 2010 01:28 PM (FpL1n)
Sarah, I am so excited for you and your husband. I'm keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Mary at February 14, 2010 12:24 AM (MZGTX)
PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING
Nothing has changed from Wednesday until now, and yet it feels like everything has changed. I keep having to remind myself that nothing has...
The same symptoms I had on Wednesday are now magnified and making me paranoid. I feel exactly the same and yet now I am IN LABOR and getting freaked out over every twinge.
But I have kinda gotten over the freakout hump and feel better today.
Except I've lost three pounds since Wednesday.
And it starts all over again...
I am still in bed. My husband is snowed in in Afghanistan, which would be hilarious if it weren't so surreal. My mother is hobbling around on a broken foot after driving 21 hours straight in a snowstorm to get to my side.
Don't forget that I also set off the alarm system when I let Charlie out this morning. Boy, I'm sure a big help! ha!
Posted by: Nancy at February 08, 2010 01:44 PM (gWUle)
Thank goodness it's Monday? But, with Mom starting out the week with the alarm system incident, it may be a long week. Life is stranger than fiction. My husband says boredom is highly underrated. Maybe you'll have a few boring days!!
Posted by: Pamela at February 08, 2010 02:49 PM (yLosW)
It seems you have the makings for a great sitcom going on. Keep that sense of humor, sounds like Mom may have a good one ,too. I was hoping we would have reports of labor and delivery since we hadn't heard for several days. Keep up the good work , labor on (pun intended) and have a great delivery and happy baby.
Posted by: Ruth H at February 08, 2010 03:46 PM (YpblU)
Hang in there! Good luck with the new baby. I set me alarm off all the time. The company pretty much knows by now it is only me.
Posted by: juliannah at February 08, 2010 03:57 PM (UCijG)
With my first child, I had my first physical exam at 39 weeks and I was 100% effaced and 3 cm dilated. I was still going to work. I worked for the rest of that week and I finally told everyone I would work from home because it was making everyone nervous. Especially the women who had had c-sections, some of whom never made it to 3 cm. My son was born the day before his due date. My water broke at 1:30 AM and I wasn't feeling regular contractions until 2:30 AM. He was born at 5:55 AM. It was surreal, but also nice to start out labor 30% of the way there.
I hope your labor goes as fast and as safely as mine did, but only once your sweet husband is here!
Posted by: Christa at February 08, 2010 04:33 PM (2qSbp)
Sarah, how did you lose three pounds in five days?
Posted by: Amritas at February 08, 2010 06:00 PM (+nV09)
Amritas -- I wish I knew so I could gain them back...I didn't have that many to lose at this point.
Posted by: Sarah at February 08, 2010 07:21 PM (gWUle)
Sarah, I am glad your mom is there w/you. I wish your husband was too. My neighbor is supposed to have her baby on Wed - We're supposed to get another 10-20 inches of snow on top of the 28+ we got over the weekend. I am not sure how she will get to the hospital, but I am hoping you are not getting the same weather. I suspect you're worrying and causing yourself stress, hence the weight loss. Enjoy the time w/your mom and I hope your husband gets home soon. Is he just home for R&R or will he be here to stay for awhile? Do you have another appt this week? Don't let them do any internal exams, you don't want them moving you along faster by poking around in there!
Posted by: Keri at February 08, 2010 09:54 PM (dtvJC)
Don't worry about being in labor--unless you hear high pitched crying. Then it may be time to go to the doctor.
Posted by: Chuck at February 08, 2010 11:12 PM (bMH2g)
I slept decently and haven't left my bed today for anything other than bathroom breaks. I have intense pelvic pressure when I stand up, but at least no contractions today. And so Charlie and I lie in bed and wait...
My husband called this morning because of the casualties. He hadn't yet read my email and had no idea what was going on. He said he would try to cash in some favors and get on an even earlier flight if he could. We'll just see. Now watch, the baby won't come for another month.
I told my husband that all that matters is that he comes home to us. I said I will either welcome him home with the baby on the inside or the baby on the outside, but all that matters is that he's safe.
My heart goes out to the families, I'm glad you were able to talk to your dh this morning.
I will be hoping that the little one stays put! I walked around for weeks at about 3cm, so you just might be able to make it. Take it easy!
Posted by: dutchgirl at February 05, 2010 04:17 PM (Yg8bq)
Glad she's staying put. Keep it up, girl. Hoping husband makes it home for the birth. Thinking of you often.
Posted by: Stacy at February 05, 2010 06:13 PM (7FV6m)
Blessings on you all, you are right, the most important thing is getting him home, he is a daddy either way, baby in or baby out. Did they give you an estimated size for her?
Posted by: Ruth H at February 05, 2010 08:38 PM (YpblU)
I am sooooo glad to hear he is ok! And I am also glad glad to hear your healthy pupa is wiggling and worming and ready to welcome the world and from the sounds of it Charlie is probably just as easer to play with his baby! Hold tough girl! I bet it is seeming surreal so close to the due date!
Posted by: Darla at February 05, 2010 10:09 PM (XvIN7)
My heart aches for the losses and, at the same time, it swells for you. Babies are totally awesome, especially those who are as loved and cherished since before they were ever a twinkle in your eye. She's got good parents and I can't wait for her to meet you....Lots of good vibes your way.
Posted by: Susan at February 05, 2010 11:23 PM (URuXw)
You are doing a great job and I'm really proud of you. These big transitions are so hard to wrap your mind around, even if everyone who is supposed to be here is here, let alone when travel schedules, potential early arrivals, and the like enter the picture.
Tell little Miss C. that if Auntie Melinda hears any more crazy talk about setting her own travel itinerary that she will be receiving a very stern talking to when we meet. (That is after I hold her, smooch her, shower her with gifts and try to stick her in my purse and take her home).
Posted by: Guard Wife at February 05, 2010 11:34 PM (5hZjj)
NOT EXACTLY MILHOUSE
I spoke too soon: I will probably not make it a month.
I had an appointment today with my first physical exam. The baby is head-down, ready to go, and so am I: I'm dilated and effaced like I'm already in labor the baby should arrive any day now. In fact, the NP said to be ready any day now.
Baby doesn't seem to want to wait for Daddy.
My mother is leaving tonight as fast as she can. A friend is coming to stay the night with me tonight, just in case. And I had decided that I just needed to put myself on bed-rest and try to stay calm...
And then the phone rang.
Two soldiers in my husband's company were killed.
On the one hand, that gave me remarkable perspective. My husband may not make it home in time for the baby's birth, but at least he still may make it home. This other family is not as fortunate: that soldier won't be coming home to his pregnant wife.
On the other hand, it just stressed me out even more...
Please, baby, wait two weeks. Then you can do whatever you want.
At 36 week I was dilated and effaced and my doctor said any day now too. At 38 weeks I was told to have my bag ready and all of the numbers by the phone. The day before her due date the contractions started and she was born 28 hours later on her due date. When she is ready she will come, and not a minute sooner!!!
Posted by: Tracey at February 04, 2010 07:31 PM (x+F0t)
Ahhh, Sarah. I went "into labor" 5 weeks early, standing in the cold waiting for a bus that never came in the dead of winter in Wisconsin. Called a cab to take me to admissions. They had me prepped and all, just knowing IT was going to happen because I was dialated and efaced! *giggles* Sent me home the next morning, told me it would be another couple of weeks. I actually went 2 1/2 weeks over my due date.
Don't folks know, that babies don't know how to use a calender or a stop-watch yet? Babies will come when they are dayum good and ready. Just the way it is.
I do hope she hangs in, though, so her daddy can be there for her and you!
Sending up my prayers and well wishes for y'all.
Posted by: jw at February 04, 2010 07:45 PM (spEu4)
Praying. For you. And Baby. And your Husband. And timing. And those in his Company.
Posted by: Val at February 04, 2010 07:54 PM (JPt9E)
Posted by: Lissa at February 04, 2010 09:51 PM (mgjM7)
Amen to Val's prayers. And for what its worth, my last baby came 5 weeks after the doc said he could come anytime, that would have been early, as it turned out he was a week overdue. My mother had left younger children at home to come stay with me and mine, pretty touchy situation. Hope you stay preggers long enough for hubby to get home. It is definitely a bittersweet day for you.
Posted by: Ruth H at February 04, 2010 10:14 PM (YpblU)
I'd tell you to keep your knees together, but if you had done that in the first place...
I hope Mr. Grok is okay, and I know how he feels--and know the empathy you have for the families of his men.
But right now, you must focus on you, and the minigrok. Keep the bun in the oven, the cat in the bag, and try not to sneeze or fart to hard. There will be a time to share with, grieve with, and heal with your army families. You are on bed rest. You can't take it upon yourself to do all those protocol/white glove nonsenses. Of course you want to be there with and for them, but nothing you can do or say will make it better--just make sure they have someone who can be there if they need them. Offer to make arrangements for them if need be, but it can't be your responsibility.
And you may want to consider a rubber bedsheet for you, and trying to stay off the furniture.
Posted by: Chuck at February 04, 2010 11:16 PM (bMH2g)
Prayers for all involved... bittersweet, indeed.
Posted by: Nicki at February 04, 2010 11:50 PM (fqQct)
I was dilating and effaced and told "any day now" on July 1. Baby Boy #1 came on July 29!! Hang in there, she may take two weeks to decide she's really ready to meet the world. My body has a tendency to slowly get ready for labor by doing a bunch of dilating and effacing before labor and delivery actually starts. So, while I started the process 2-3 weeks before my due date, both boys were born AFTER their due dates! LOL Babies have their own unique ways of doing things and they always surprise you.
Posted by: Tracy S at February 05, 2010 10:01 AM (3N/bf)
take care of yorueself and relax as much as you can. I am praying that your guy gets home safe and sound and as quickly as possible.
I will add to the stories from others. My 4th baby, I had a rescue cerclage at 31 weeks and then total bedrest. Birth was imminent and had to be stopped so I wouldn't have a preterm baby. At 36 weeks they removed the cerclage and I was told that I might go into labor within an hour. I ran around doing my thing for another 2 weeks....when they induced me.
Posted by: Sheila at February 05, 2010 02:50 PM (ju0Yo)
One more month until this bouncy baby is bouncing in my arms instead of in my belly. One more month until I am a mother, until I am responsible for someone else's life and well-being. One more month until I test out all the parenting theories I've pondered for years.
It's been nearly three years to the day that my husband and I started trying to have a baby. Three years. One might think that I would be extra-anxious for this last month to fly by. But I'm not. I think I've even managed to develop some patience over the past three years; I am trying to enjoy every horrible moment of this pregnancy because there's always the possibility that it could be my only one. As long as she's not in danger, I'm in no hurry to move faster than nature intended. No matter how uncomfortable I am.
One more month.
And, with as much certainty as one can guarantee in the Army, my husband should be home in roughly half that time.
Posted by: Amy at February 03, 2010 10:55 PM (Cy1WK)
You look awesome! You are going to be the best mom evah. The only piece of assvice I will spew is this: Trust your instincts. Everything else will come naturally. I have loved being a mom more than being able to breathe. I look at Olivia daily and am in awe of her. I'm losing my baby, but I've gained a little friend with whom I love spending time. I don't know if I appreciate being a mom more because I'm older or if it's because it was a freaking long road to get here and I don't ever want to take it for granted.
Sending lots of good wishes your way.............
Posted by: Susan at February 03, 2010 11:18 PM (URuXw)
Thank you for sharing this picture with us. I hope your husband can see it.
I can't wait to see the next picture in this series.
Posted by: Amritas at February 04, 2010 01:52 AM (TZltr)
What a lovely picture!
Enjoy this last month--sending many good thoughts your way.
Posted by: Lee Anne at February 04, 2010 10:56 AM (FXhFB)
WE SHARE A BODY
For all its annoyances, I have been enjoying being pregnant.
On occasion I find myself impatient, just wanting her to get here already so I can meet her. But most of the time I'm perfectly happy being right where I'm at. I like having her inside of me. I giggle when I rest the laptop on my belly and she starts kicking at it, like "Hey, it's crowded enough in here without you smooshing me!" I like feeling her wiggle and tickle and move, even when it hurts.
And yet, I have never heard a mother wistfully say that she misses having her child inside of her. It must be that much more awesome to have them on the outside, because I think I will kinda miss it.
We will never be as close as we are right now, when we share a circulatory system...
(Yep, I finally went and got maternity photos taken.)
I'm surprised you've never heard anyone say that.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE being pregnant. I have terrible pregnancies (I get so sick the entire pregnancies I have NEVER gained a single pregnancy pound, I was on bedrest for 19 weeks, etc.) and I would do it again, if another baby were in our futures.
Having them in your arms is amazing. I would choose that over being pregnant, but there are times when I miss having them inside me. It's the single most amazing thing I've ever done.
Posted by: Amber at January 21, 2010 11:05 AM (facQk)
I wonder what the other photos in your session look like.
I've never seen a pregnancy photo like this one before. So simple and effective. And reminiscent of iPod ads, even though you don't own one!
Posted by: Amritas at January 21, 2010 12:52 PM (+nV09)
I LOVED being pregnant both times and find myself missing it once in awhile. I enjoyed having my kids 'all to myself' tucked away inside, feeling all of the elbows, kicks and flutters. Now that mine are 14 &12, I'd like to put them back in so it will be quiet around here
Posted by: Jen in NY at January 21, 2010 03:40 PM (VpUT1)
. . . I think I've only heard mothers wish the baby was back inside, when it was to keep the baby safe and protected from all the dangers of the world . . .
Posted by: Lissa at January 21, 2010 04:55 PM (eSfKC)
Sarah, I've got to admit, my first pregnancy I felt a bit like I'd been invaded by a parasitic alien. Of course, I was also clueless. I'm glad for every day I got with our second little one. I'm so glad you're able to enjoy this time. *So* glad. . . .
Posted by: Lucy at January 21, 2010 08:16 PM (YNvUz)
I think you're right, having them on the outside sort of overshadows what pregnancy was like... but I do remember distinctly how odd it felt after my daughter was born, almost lonely!
Posted by: dutchgirl at January 21, 2010 10:24 PM (Yg8bq)
I missed being pregnant, and having to share the babies with the World, for 9 months, they were all MINE
Posted by: awtm at January 21, 2010 10:37 PM (MEke+)
Beautiful picture! You look serene and happy and huge!
Posted by: Mary at January 22, 2010 12:03 AM (/hR4y)
Okay, you're totally that
skinny preggers chick in my labor class! I'm jealous as I stare at my big buddah tummy. Biyatch!
Posted by: BigD78 at January 22, 2010 05:54 PM (W3XUk)
I miss being pregnant. I miss the "secret" that my babies and I had. Only *I* knew when they moved, kicked, hiccuped, etc. unless I chose to share with others. I miss knowing that, for 10 months, they were mine and mine alone (there's that only child attitude shining through).
I miss being pregnant. So much so that I would be willing to consider being a surrogate for someone who needed one.
Posted by: HomefrontSix at January 22, 2010 08:33 PM (2vZeF)
I do miss being pregnant sometimes, when I get irritated that I have to "share" the kiddo with somebody. When she was first born, I'd watch her move around and think how just a few days ago, I'd be the only one who knew that she'd done anything.
Posted by: Ann M. at January 22, 2010 08:41 PM (+GQ3g)
I am envious of what you have, with your husband, and a child on the way...
Posted by: Miss Ladybug at January 22, 2010 10:27 PM (vqKnu)
Great picture. It reminds me that I once worked with the daughter of a cellist who, before she was born, used to kick (audibly) the back of her mother's cello in orchestra rehearsals.
She grew up to be a cellist as well!
Posted by: Piercello at January 23, 2010 11:34 AM (ALcm4)
I go away for a couple days and all these good & photogenic posts pop up! This photo is great!
You will treasure these photos. I wish I had thought to do something like this where it was more artsy.
Can't wait to see all of these.
Posted by: Guard Wife at January 23, 2010 12:27 PM (5hZjj)
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