I hosted a small baby shower today for the one person I know here in town. We invited four of her friends over for lunch and presents. And when they left, I kicked my feet up on the coffee table and noticed that I was wearing one black shoe and one blue one. Sigh...

Posted by: Sarah at 04:31 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 DAMN!!!I hate it, when that happens!!Any chance we're related???

Posted by: debey at January 21, 2007 08:13 PM (AyWtO)

2 Maybe they thought you were going through a "Punky Brewster" phase.

Posted by: The Girl at January 21, 2007 08:40 PM (4qUzg)

3 Well, I wasn't going to comment on whether or not you should have a baby yet, thinking that was entirely up to you. But now I notice you seem to have "Mommy brain" down pat, so I guess it's time.;D

Posted by: Ruth H at January 22, 2007 05:17 AM (lS0ga)

4 Umm...one blue sock and one black sock...I could have gotten that....but two different shoes...definitely very Punky Brewster-esque...you rebel you!

Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at January 22, 2007 06:19 AM (deur4)

5 So funny! I don't care what you wear, I still love, ya!

Posted by: Angie at January 22, 2007 07:15 AM (ec43W)

6 Well, they're the exact same shoe, just I own them in black and navy...and it is dark in the recesses of the closet...shut up, Cali.

Posted by: Sarah at January 22, 2007 08:23 AM (BP8jf)

7 Heh ... I've got the same pair of shoes in black and red ... Yup, I've gone out like that (not intentionally!). At least black & navy are kind of close...

Posted by: Toni at January 22, 2007 09:38 AM (NqozS)

8 Ha!!

Posted by: Andi at January 24, 2007 11:06 AM (PwfFQ)

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Warning: War May Be Hazardous

One of my stateside friends deployed and wrote me an email saying he couldn't believe we in USAREUR had to watch AFN commercials. He was outraged that there was a commercial warning folks to "watch their step."

Posted by: Sarah at 05:20 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Make sure you read Lileks today, but definitely go read the link to the French guy first. Ha!

Posted by: Sarah at 03:53 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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We've noticed some weird spellings of our new street name. It's not a super common word, but it's hardly difficult. But we've gotten all sorts of strange looks and repeats, which we've found amusing. Today in the car we were looking at all the other street names and trying to decide which would be easy for people and which would be hard. (The best one we came across was Possum Holler Rd.) And my husband cracked me up when he said, "I suppose it could always be worse: 'What's your address?' '1532 Ecclesiastical Benevolence.'"

Posted by: Sarah at 01:24 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Street names are fun. You know, like streets named "Hell on Wheels." That was where The Boy lived while we were engaged. Even though it's a neat name, with a lot of history, people definitely had problems with it.

Posted by: The Girl at December 28, 2006 07:35 PM (gzjMV)

2 My Mom is buying a new house and is very concerned over street names. I told her it doesn't matter how simple it is, you will always have to spell it for someone.....

Posted by: Amy at December 29, 2006 01:42 AM (DWNNI)

3 We always pay attention to street names. Ones I've enjoyed over the years: Tennis Ct.; East St. Then, there's the themed streets with a mistake thrown in... Rumba Rd., Macarena St., Waltz Dr., Cha Cha Ct., Salsa St., and Picante Way. PICANTE? lol

Posted by: US Navy Wife at December 30, 2006 10:03 AM (O9Y6y)

4 Hey! We have a "Hell on Wheels" too! And I think it's the coolest. Our street doesn't seem that difficult either, Sarah, but I always have to spell it out for people.

Posted by: Erin at January 02, 2007 01:23 PM (ppMYy)

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Last night we were flipping channels and passed by an MTV show that's some sort of Yo Mama jokes standoff. We watched the last few minutes of the show kinda dumbfounded. And as soon as it ended and he went to change the channel, my husband said, "Yo mama's so dumb, she wouldn't understand the Laffer curve if they explained it on Fox & Friends." Oh good lord, I laughed so hard I nearly choked. That's the best yo mama joke I've ever heard.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:54 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Here's an flawlessly-executed joke, no botching at all.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:03 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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BlameBush rallies the voters today:

Today, Americans all across the country, living and dead, will exercise their right and responsibility to vote Democrat. Of all the rights granted to us in the Constitution, the Right to Vote Democrat is one of our most sacred, second only to the Right to Choose. So it is vital that no matter how many times we vote today, we do so with the same courage and conviction we put into having abortions.

Read the whole danged thing.
(And for those who've never been to that site: Psst, it's a joke.)

By the way, this one is good too:

Thrice wounded on the battlefields of Vietnam, Sen. John Kerry would never dream of insulting the intelligence of our babykilling, genital-shocking, cattle razing, women-and-children-terrorizing troops. If they had any brains, theyÂ’d know that.

Posted by: Sarah at 11:10 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Some people have got waaay better jokes than John Kerry. Like Right Thoughts' interview with "John Kerry's Intentions":

KerryÂ’s intentions: Jim...Jimbo. Jimmykins. Jimka. Listen. ItÂ’s simple. John is smarter than you. He knows that you little people canÂ’t afford food, and youÂ’re too stupid to become lawyers and marry rich widows. Therefore, most of you end up at one point or another either becoming volunteers for his campaign or you become horrible, murdering rapists reminiscent of Jen-jiss Khan...i.e. you join the military.

JimK: But wait a minute. ThatÂ’s just reinforcing the notion that the statement was slanderous against the military in the first place! I donÂ’t get it. What are you trying to say here?

KerryÂ’s intentions: Jim-bo-lah. Jim-o-rama. Jimmy crack corn...I know this is upper-level material here, but try to stay with me. Senator Kerry despises the little people, so he made a joke about Bush that wasnÂ’t about Bush, wasnÂ’t true, contained factual truths and wasnÂ’t a joke, because he care about you, the common man. You see?

JimK: No. No I do not see. In fact, everything you said contradicts everything else you said.

KerryÂ’s intentions: Well, I was against this interview before I was for it, so there you have it.

Heh. Read the whole thing. JimK's got mad jokes.

Posted by: Sarah at 09:08 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I'm leaving for Texas in a few minutes. Unfortunately, tonight is the military ball, which my husband is emceeing; I'm quite sad to miss this. As I said goodbye to my husband, I reminded him to have fun but stay out of trouble. He reminded me that those two things are mutually exclusive at a military ball...

Posted by: Sarah at 03:08 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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My goal for today is to whip out one of these in a Detroit uniform, in time for tomorrow night's game. Heh.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:29 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I just want to be a jerk for a minute and point something out.

Go Cardinals!

UPDATE:

Tigers in three? Not so much.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:19 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Iowahawk makes an appeal to Conservative America. I got such a kick out of this paragraph that I can't stop giggling. Republican stereotypes crack me up.

Despite what you may have heard on Fox News, we Democrats know what issues are on the minds of heartland conservatives like you. We know that your number one concern of is the safety of your children -- whether they are plucking their banjos on the back porch, speaking tongues to snakes at Jesus Camp, or torching crosses at your local Nascar racing contest. We also know that the number one threat to your children's safety is the scourge of international homo-ism. That's why we at the DNC have created "The Contract With American Hillbillies," a new multipoint investigation program to identify and root out conservative stealth homoism before it threatens you or your precious little inbreeds.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:26 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Good thing we didn't bet on black.

Posted by: Sarah at 10:40 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Scene from Passenger 57: Snipes: "Do you ever play roulette?" Bad Guy: "Nope." Snipes: "Oh, well, do you ever play chess?" Bad Guy: "Not really." Snipes: "Parcheesi?" Bad Guy: "Oh, yes, I quite enjoy that." Snipes: "Well, let me give you a little advice: ALWAYS BET ON BLACK!" Bad Guy: "What?" Snipes: "I'm black." Bad Guy: "Oh.. alright."

Posted by: Will at October 17, 2006 11:00 AM (QRBGL)

2 Thanks, Will. I was REALLY scratching my head on that post. Passenger 57 clearly did not make the same impression on me as on Sarah. Or else early dementia is kicking in.

Posted by: Oda Mae at October 17, 2006 08:51 PM (945XX)

3 Sorry, that's like my husband's favorite ridiculous movie line. He says it all the time. My favorite is "That's none of your damn business, and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs" from Ace Ventura.

Posted by: Sarah at October 18, 2006 03:11 AM (7Wklx)

4 Very nice site http://megamozg.com/master-degree/map.html

Posted by: Dale at November 04, 2006 01:55 PM (yu/yc)

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All alone for a week; husband's out in the field. Heh, the field, for Finance. They sit around and pretend to pay people.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:13 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The Princess of Jordan came to watch my husband's combative training at PT this morning. Isn't that the most random thing you've ever heard?

Posted by: Sarah at 04:01 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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P.S. My husband thinks it's wildly funny to keep telling me to bring my "big ol' sour cream ass" closer to him. Heh.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:42 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Holy crap. If you're a fan of Parker and Stone (ahem, CaliValleyGirl), then you have to check out this "employment orientation video" they did for Universal Studios. Apparently Universal decided they hated it, but it had me in stitches this morning. Thanks for finding it, Hud.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:30 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I wonder if any other blog-intense family has arguments where one person says he's Israel and his wife is acting like Hassan Nasrallah? Or where someone admits that her reaction to his not handing her the spices fast enough was "disproportionate"?

Posted by: Sarah at 01:30 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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So Saddam is being forced to watch himself on South Park. Perfect. May I remind you that I suggested this almost two years ago. I hope he's had to watch it on a loop for at least that long. Also he should have to watch "Do the Handicapped Go to Hell?" and the subsequent episode, "Probably."

Posted by: Sarah at 05:53 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Our toilet has officially turned into a European toilet. Maintenance has been out twice already to plunge, snake, and grumble, but the water simply won't suck down the hole; it just stirs. Last night I was trying to think of a joke I could make about it, so I tried to come up with something that doesn't belong in a toilet. I laughed out loud and teased my husband, "Honey, you really need to stop shoving Korans down our toilet."

It's funny when the first thing that comes to mind when you think "what could clog a toilet?" is the Koran...

Posted by: Sarah at 04:08 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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