February 12, 2009


I am going to do short book reviews on everything I read this year during The George Bush 2009 Reading Challenge, but I couldn't wait to discuss this one. I read the book Infertility Sucks, and it is hilarious. Even though I haven't had to do IVF (yet), I could relate to everything in this book. And I have to quote you my favorite part:

Mr. and Mrs. Lifesabich, this is obviously not working out for you. Have you tried prenatal vitamins, valerian root, baby aspirin, changing doctors, standing on your head after sex, standing on your head during sex, exercising, not exercising, praying, having sex on Friday nights, trying a doctor in New York, trying a doctor in Colorado, increasing your medication doses and wearing boxer shorts?
Good, very good. Keep up the good work. Stay optimistic. Keep communicating with each other. Keep up on the latest research. Get to the pharmacy on time. Make sure your health insurance is up to date. Don't miss any doctor's appointments, even on the weekends. Make sure you've had all the necessary tests. Try not to miss too much work; you need to save up those parental leave days, just in case. And above all, don't forget to relax. That's very important.


And in googling for the book link, I came across a funny list of what not to say. I was just thinking about this yesterday when I remembered that I forgot to mention someone on my post of people I'm grateful to have in my infertile life. A girl I know here in town went through fertility treatments unsuccessfully a few years ago. She always asks how I'm doing and listens to me talk, and she never comments. Nothing optimistic, nothing pessimistic. She just says, "I know, girl, I know." Once she explained that she purposely doesn't say anything because she hated every single thing that every other person said to her during the process. So she just says nothing. I respect and appreciate that.

There's some decent advice in the comments on this blog post for what to say if you have a friend who's struggling to have a baby. But I recommend buying this book! As long as your friend is a little irreverent, she will love this book.

And I thank my dear friend for recommending it to me.

Posted by: Sarah at 10:18 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 LOL! Too funny. I agree - the single most helpful thing to hear is, "I know." And for those who can't say that, PLEASE don't feel bad about that, either - "Sorry" or "I'm here for ya" is perfect. :-) IMHO.

Posted by: kannie at February 12, 2009 12:20 PM (iT8dn)

2 Lol. Even though we finally did get lucky, trying for more than a year got us through at least half (if not more) of that "have you tried X?" list.

Posted by: Leofwende at February 12, 2009 01:56 PM (28CBm)

3 So glad you enjoyed it. Let the irreverent t-shirts begin. Many hugs now and always. xoxoxoxo

Posted by: Lane at February 12, 2009 02:02 PM (OviHe)

4 "I'm here for ya" is the best I can do. "Sorry" makes it sound like it's my fault (though we know it's not) and I don't know and never will know what it's like. That Infertility Sucks excerpt matches what I imagined the book to be like. The Not Guilty blog post sickened and amused me at the same time. I know people don't think before they talk, but simply reading example after example gets annoying quickly, and I never had to endure someone saying such rubbish to me with a straight face. The comebacks were hilarious. My favorite line is the final one: Infertility sucks for the infertile people; it doesn't have to make you suck too.

Posted by: Amritas at February 12, 2009 02:08 PM (Wxe3L)

5 I may not know, but I do care. Enough to try to avoid saying stupid nonsense. Please forgive me when I do.

Posted by: Amritas at February 12, 2009 02:14 PM (Wxe3L)

6 Amritas - I don't use a simple "sorry," either, actually... I was too brief in my choice of words here, but normally, I use "sorry to hear that..." instead. (I have the same objection to "simple sorry," LOL...) Also, while I can't speak for anyone else who's struggled with this, I would HATE for someone with caring, honest intentions to have their words picked apart and be made to feel bad about a) their situation or b) whatever they try to say. We all have different challenges, and care is always appropriate. :-)

Posted by: kannie at February 13, 2009 10:59 AM (iT8dn)

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