Because there has been absolutely no public demand for this whatsoever, I thought I'd liveblog Rambo II. Ahem, I mean Rambo: First Blood II.

They're gonna let Rambo out of prison to go find POWs. Now that's what I'm talkin' about.
Oh sweet, John Kreese is in it. No mercy.
Wait, he just takes photos of POW camps? Not cool. I imagine there will be little photo taking and lots of asskicking.
I think they made Rambo extra sweaty on purpose.
"What you choose to call hell, he calls home."
Oh niiiice, gratuitous bulging bicep close-ups while he sharpens his knife.
Danger in the air! He's cutting away his supplies! This is gonna be good.
He choked a snake. Take that, Jeff Corwin.
Aw, what's this? A chick? Come on. Don't mess up my action movie with chicks. Is this a kissing book?
"A quiet war, a war against the soldiers who were returning, the kind of war you don't win."
I knew it! Screw the photos; he's going in!
Those poor POWs, locked up and being tortured. How are they ever going to learn to be anti-war?
arrow to the head = sweet
oooh, RPG action
Oh man, I knew something was rotten in the state of Denmark with that Murdock guy. They're leaving Rambo to be captured!
The Vietcong plus Russians: could we get a better coalition of bad guys?
Oooh, Murdock, you're boned! Heh.
OK, maybe this chick isn't so bad. Plus now Rambo's shirt is gone.
Popcorn break.
Aaaah! It is a kissing book.
Oh snap. I totally did not see that coming. So much for the kissing.
Dang, I don't care if he's 5'1"; Stallone is ripped. Also he wrote Rocky in three days, so he rules.
That mud camouflage was awesome.
Pistol vs exploding bow and arrow. Rock n roll.
How awesome to strafe a POW camp. That embiggened my heart.
Uh oh. Those sneaky phucking Russians. Nice job, POW door gunner.
Crap. Blackhawk down.
OOOOOOHHHH. Kaboom. Nice fake, Rambo. Wicked.
Watch out, Murdock. Rambo's comin' for ya. I hope he puts that knife in your gut.
John Kreese gets it squaa in the nuts.
And Rambo shoots his gun in the air and says aaaaaah. How Hot Fuzz of him.
"I want for our country to love us as much as we love it." Hooah.

Apparently, this movie was called the worst movie of 1985. There's no accounting for some people's bad taste. Also Rocky IV came out that year, which means it was a pretty stellar year in my book.

Ha, well, I'm sure none of you care about this post, but I sure entertained myself doing it.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:48 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 468 words, total size 3 kb.