May 18, 2008

I'VE GOT A FEVER, AND THE ONLY PRESCRIPTION IS MORE RAMBO

Because there has been absolutely no public demand for this whatsoever, I thought I'd liveblog Rambo II. Ahem, I mean Rambo: First Blood II.

They're gonna let Rambo out of prison to go find POWs. Now that's what I'm talkin' about.
Oh sweet, John Kreese is in it. No mercy.
Wait, he just takes photos of POW camps? Not cool. I imagine there will be little photo taking and lots of asskicking.
I think they made Rambo extra sweaty on purpose.
"What you choose to call hell, he calls home."
Oh niiiice, gratuitous bulging bicep close-ups while he sharpens his knife.
Danger in the air! He's cutting away his supplies! This is gonna be good.
He choked a snake. Take that, Jeff Corwin.
Aw, what's this? A chick? Come on. Don't mess up my action movie with chicks. Is this a kissing book?
"A quiet war, a war against the soldiers who were returning, the kind of war you don't win."
I knew it! Screw the photos; he's going in!
Those poor POWs, locked up and being tortured. How are they ever going to learn to be anti-war?
arrow to the head = sweet
oooh, RPG action
Oh man, I knew something was rotten in the state of Denmark with that Murdock guy. They're leaving Rambo to be captured!
The Vietcong plus Russians: could we get a better coalition of bad guys?
Oooh, Murdock, you're boned! Heh.
OK, maybe this chick isn't so bad. Plus now Rambo's shirt is gone.
Popcorn break.
Aaaah! It is a kissing book.
Oh snap. I totally did not see that coming. So much for the kissing.
Dang, I don't care if he's 5'1"; Stallone is ripped. Also he wrote Rocky in three days, so he rules.
That mud camouflage was awesome.
Pistol vs exploding bow and arrow. Rock n roll.
How awesome to strafe a POW camp. That embiggened my heart.
Uh oh. Those sneaky phucking Russians. Nice job, POW door gunner.
Crap. Blackhawk down.
OOOOOOHHHH. Kaboom. Nice fake, Rambo. Wicked.
Watch out, Murdock. Rambo's comin' for ya. I hope he puts that knife in your gut.
John Kreese gets it squaa in the nuts.
And Rambo shoots his gun in the air and says aaaaaah. How Hot Fuzz of him.
"I want for our country to love us as much as we love it." Hooah.

Apparently, this movie was called the worst movie of 1985. There's no accounting for some people's bad taste. Also Rocky IV came out that year, which means it was a pretty stellar year in my book.

Ha, well, I'm sure none of you care about this post, but I sure entertained myself doing it.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:48 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Well, I liked it. Made me smile, which was much needed.

Posted by: TomboyWarrior at May 18, 2008 06:57 PM (zSR6I)

2 Sarah, I wanted to leave this on another post, but I wasn't sure if you would get it. So, I heard from Fuzzy and read your posts re: medical tests and pregnancy. I work in the medical field (but not at your doctor's office so I can only place a note based on experience). First, stay calm. If your tests were actually "bad" the doctor would have likely called you back pretty quickly. If he had the results. Second, even with good news, doctors don't like to give test results over the phone. The reason was supposed to be so they don't deliver any good or bad news that might cause a stir. Not that it totally helps. After all, you wouldn't be having tests done if you weren't anxious. So, I understand. Stressing, though, isn't good as you must know. So, please relax. If they didn't call you right away to squeeze you in ASAP and you aren't in pain, bleeding or otherwise feeling anything discomforting outside of possible morning sickness, don't panic. Finally, I sent a prayer for you. May God bless you and keep you. May he hear your prayers and ours for your health and bring you peace. Amen.

Posted by: kat-missouri at May 18, 2008 07:12 PM (io+Si)

3 Ha! I loved the Rambo movies. This post cracked me up. I hope it helped you to get out of your head a little. Stay positive!! We're rooting for you and that baby!

Posted by: Tonya at May 19, 2008 07:33 AM (KV0YP)

4 That was a lot of fun to read! Glad you are self entertaining too. "Is this a kissing book?" I just bought that movie. Do you like Troy?

Posted by: Butterfly Wife at May 19, 2008 01:13 PM (nK6Pm)

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