The problem with reading a science book written in 1979 is that you want to know what has happened since. Sagan kept bringing up wonderfully exciting things that made me wonder what we've learned in the past 25 years. Some things I knew had not come to pass -- such as the bittersweet missed opportunity of a rendezvous mission with Halley's comet -- but other things I have been trying to research to see what we've learned since.

This is how it came to be that I felt a great excitement and inner peace for 24 hours. I learned of the oscillating universe theory.

I've never been a person who thinks much about the meaning of life or why we're here. I've always found more solace in thinking that I'm a small being in an ever-changing cosmos, that there's nothing more special about me than some long-extinct triceratops. I find peace and comfort knowing that the universe is far more complex and wondrous than I could ever comprehend, and that my life is inconsequential in the big scheme of billions of years. This thought that my life is but a blink in time helps me cope with seemingly monumental stressors in my life: high schoolers, deployments, the fact that the coat I wanted from Land's End is discontinued. All of this pales when I think about what has come before and will come after me.

In 1979, Carl Sagan said there was not enough evidence to rule out an oscillating universe. This would mean that the universe could continue a series of collapses and big bangs, in a neverending accordion squeeze on the cosmos. And I liked that idea. As I lay in bed, I imagined another go-round for the universe, with planets at different distances from their stars, possibly fostering new and different life forms. Or not. I imagined the cosmos as a big game of Yahtzee, then laughed that maybe God really does play dice with the universe. I felt excited and at peace, and I wanted to learn more.

So does learning that there's probably not enough matter in the universe to cause a Big Crunch make me disappointed? A little, but I'd rather know the truth. I suppose it doesn't even really bother me that the universe appears to be speeding up and eventally all stars will flicker out and cease to be. If that's what really will happen, then I can accept that.

But boy, did my mind do cartwheels at the thought of an oscillating universe. That was a great feeling, even if it was short lived.

Posted by: Sarah at 06:24 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I found an old entry by Vodkapundit that warmed my heart. He found an embed from Alaska who was struck by the magnitude of her job:

Think about everything youÂ’ve heard about the conditions in Iraq, the role of U.S. forces, the multi-layered complexities of the war.

Then think again.

IÂ’m a journalist. I read the news everyday, from several sources. I have the luxury of reading stuff newspapers donÂ’t always have room to print. I read every tidbit I could on Iraq and the war before coming.

Everything I thought I knew was wrong.

Maybe not wrong, but certainly different than the picture in my head.

I liken it to this; It was real struggle for me to choose to see the Harry Potter movies. I had read the books and loved the pictures I had in my mind of the details I read. I didnÂ’t need to see a movie; I had a movie playing in my head of exactly how I perceived the stories.

I had similar notions about Iraq, Mosul, the war and what exactly soldiers do. And it was handily shattered like glass today by a group of soldiers, half of them younger than myself.

She goes on to end with one of the most insightful things I've ever heard a reporter say:

I’ve listened to the soldiers and Parrish about the missing pieces of the puzzles that don’t reach home. My selfish, journalistic drive immediately thinks “Perfect. A story that hasn’t been told. Let me at it.”

But I have a slight hesitation; I need to keep balanced. I canÂ’t be a cheerleader, even if I have a soft spot for the hometown troops, especially after the welcome theyÂ’ve shown me. I still need to be truthful and walk the centerline and report the good or bad.

But then I realize itÂ’s not a conflict of interest. If I am truly unbiased, then I need to get used to this one simple fact; that the untold story, might in fact, be a positive one. It takes a minute to wrap my mind around it, as a news junkie that became a news writer. The great, career-making, breaking news stories usually donÂ’t have happy endings; they usually revolve around disturbing news, deceit and downfall. Nasty political doings. Gruesome crimes and murders. Revealing secrets.

But IÂ’ve come upon something that is none of those. Not this aspect of it. There are politics to this war and controversies and investigations. But there is another side.

There are heartwarming and heroic stories coming out of Iraq, and journalists are not "selling out" if they report this good stuff. It was a huge step for this embed to realize that maybe the stories that need to be told are the ones with happy endings.

Posted by: Sarah at 05:33 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Beth sent me a good article:

Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, and the rest of the "Island of Misfit Toys" gang believe with all their might that, if America will just leave Iraq, all the terrorists will magically disappear! They believe that the UN and the EU can somehow make Iran's weapons-grade uranium go away. And if we all just put down our guns and give Cindy Sheehan a great, big Christmas hug, peace on earth will surely follow.

The husband and I heard John Lennon's "Happy Xmas" song this morning. I remarked that the line "War is over / if you want it" is about the biggest idealistic pile of crap ever. Gee, if we just wish real hard, war will stop all over the world.

Of course, I've been ticked at Lennon ever since I read this, so I was ready for a fight when his song came on.

Posted by: Sarah at 07:44 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Some commenter said yesterday that America's far left is Europe's moderate. I thought of that today in passing while reading Broca's Brain. I think people look at the world quite differently depending on how they classify themselves. If you think of yourself as an American, you see the world differently than if you think of yourself as a Global Citizen, as it seems most Europeans do. And if you think of yourself as a citizen of the universe, as Sagan does, you look at issues completely differently. Thus when Sagan talks of global warming, he thinks all humans should work together to prevent Earth's habitat from being like Mars. When an American talks about it, he typically thinks about what is best for the US first. I think the label you give yourself says a lot about how you deal with The Issues.

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Get. The. F. Out.

This season, America celebrates a holiday whose premise is that God himself came to Earth -- and was given the death penalty. Tookie Williams died at Midnight on the Feast Day for Our Lady of Guadalupe, Mother of God and patron saint of the Americas. How fitting that the GOP and the Religious Right lobbied for the execution -- and that Arnold Schwarzenegger, a Catholic whose church opposes the death penalty, made the final decision.

Celebrity executions, from Jesus to Tookie Williams, have whatever meaning human actions give them. And the meaning of Tookie's? That the Religious Right, that bastion of politicized pseudo-religion and hypocritical power-grabbing, pronounced its own spiritual death by shouting hosannahs for his execution -- as it has done for the anonymous dead before him.

No disrespect is intended by calling the Crucifixion a "celebrity execution." Quite the contrary -- the power and meaning of the Christ story as it was taught to me is just that: that God Himself would come to Earth anonymously and died despised and forgotten by all but a few, only to be redeemed on behalf of all. His celebrity came later, as a result of His sacrifice. The significance of the death lies in its affirmation of life, in the understanding of believers that it was an act of love -- love for life and the living.

This post, found at RWN, is just jawdropping. You have to be absolutely kidding that 1) this was written, and 2) the comments section is full of people who agree. And the last line...

Another Christmas is coming to the Americas, and another American is gone. If you pray, don't pray for him: pray for us.

Must...fight...urge to start swearing uncontrollably.

Tookie Williams was a murderer. He killed four people before my husband was even freaking born, and he's been wasting air ever since. He was a gangster and a thug, and I don't care how many dadburned children's books he wrote. He shot four people that we know of and laughed about it later. He never expressed regret for what he'd done, yet somehow he was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. (Maybe Arafat will show Tookie his while they're both rotting in hell together.)

I clapped the day Timothy McVeigh was executed, and I clapped again Tuesday when Tookie was finally dead. Tookie may have "died despised and forgotten by all but a few", but he most certainly will not be redeemed, and should never be compared to Jesus.

The more I try to grok, the more I feel disgusted at mankind.

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Posted by: Sarah at 03:37 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Hey, John Kerry...wanna see some of the kids my husband terrorized in Iraq?

This kid he terrorized by building a school for him...

This kid he terrorized by letting him wear his Wiley Xs...

This kid he terrorized by giving him a water bottle when it was 130 degrees...

The only thing my husband terrorized these kids with was his handwriting...

John Kerry, you're out of your element here.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:05 PM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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When I lived in Sweden, I noticed that my friend had a bald eagle trinket on her desk. "Where did you get this?" I asked. "Maryellen gave it to me," she replied. "Ahhh," I said. "Who's that?" "Your fiance's mother!" my friend gasped.

Is it regional what we call adults when we're kids? When I was growing up, I never would've dreamed of calling adults by their first names. All my parents' friends, all the leaders of my clubs, every adult I knew was called Mr. or Mrs. In fact, I still think of most of my parents' friends as Mr. and Mrs. (Hi, Mr. Schultz!) I didn't even call my in-laws by their first names until my husband and I had been engaged for quite a while.

Tonight I started volunteering with the Girl Scouts, and I was mildly shocked that the girls call the leaders by their first names. I guess there's nothing wrong with that if it's the leaders' choice, but it struck me as a little odd, given that I can remember all my old Girl Scout leaders' names, but they all start with Mrs! I couldn't tell you those mothers' first names to save my life.

I've noticed that most people around her prefer to go by Miss + First Name, as in Miss Sarah. That's OK with me, being 28 and all, but don't any kids call adults Mr. or Mrs. these days? Or am I just a stuffy fuddy-duddy from Texas?

Posted by: Sarah at 04:46 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 I raised my children to address ALL adults as Mr., Mrs. or Ms. no matter what their age. Adult=living independently and paying bills Here in Oklahoma everyone is addressed as Ma'am or Sir. I love it! I used to think it made me feel old, but now I see it's a simple show of respect.

Posted by: Vonn at December 06, 2005 05:42 PM (dEgRi)

2 My daughter lives in Georgia, it is the norm there. Brad

Posted by: Brad at December 06, 2005 06:26 PM (Qz3ul)

3 Sarah, I don't know if it's regional, but I think it just has to do with how "fuddy-duddy" our parents were. My mom taught me to say "Mr." or "Mrs." until the adult told me to do otherwise. But I hate being called Mrs. Erin. It reminds me of when I was in daycare!

Posted by: Erin at December 07, 2005 02:26 AM (O0IlC)

4 That's interesting that you brought this up. When we were in Germany, I noticed that many children were addressing adults as (esp women) Mr or Miss, followed by first name. I was told that this practice was a "southern thing"...I had never heard of doing this...I'm from the north (Yankee) and I grew up addressing adults as Mr or Mrs, followed by last name, as you said. I actually prefer being called by my first name (Mrs makes me feel OLD). When I was in college, most of my professors asked to be called by their first names...liberal university

Posted by: Nicole at December 07, 2005 10:24 AM (KJBDI)

5 i agree. i still feel somewhat uncomfortable calling "adults" by their first name. Even though i fit Vonn's definition of "adult" i don't think of myself as one, and i'd e horrified if some young whippersnapper referred to me as Ms.

Posted by: annika at December 07, 2005 11:58 AM (6x0dA)

6 yes, we are fuddy-duddies, and we happen to be correct... i'm an asst scoutmaster for my son's Boy Scout Troop, and i can guarantee that all of our adults are "Mister" or "Mrs." we even had one of our Eagle scouts turn 18, so we brought him back as another asst Scoutmaster, and all the Scouts have to refer to him as "ASM {last name}", even though they use his first name in the hallways at school.

Posted by: MajMike at December 07, 2005 12:52 PM (zXWkt)

7 My friends children either call me Miss Tammi or if we are really close Aunt Tammi. It's always been there - with all of them. But I noticed so many children don't any more. I still struggle with that. I'm in Sales and when I'm making calls I still refer to them as Mrs/Mr/Miss until I've gotten to know them or they tell me other wise.

Posted by: Tammi at December 07, 2005 09:25 PM (fG4Jz)

8 There has to be SOME benefit to being an adult. I would have never dreamed of calling an adult by anything other than their honorific and surname. I expect the same treatment now that I'm the "grown up". Let's expect more from the kids of the world. GOOD MANNERS.

Posted by: Miss Rogers at December 12, 2005 02:15 PM (WE6BG)

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My neighbor moved over the summer, and she and I were instant messaging last night. She said that she had watched Barbara Walters' The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2005 program on TV, that is until it started to sicken her and she turned it off.

I love how celebrities can't get enough of themselves. (My husband is brutal to celebs, calling them "people who are attractive for a living".) Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning fascinating? In what way exactly? The winner, the most fascinating person of the year, was Camilla Parker Bowles. Really. That's funny to me, because she's about the last celeb I'm interested in hearing about.

My neighbor was upset. "What makes Tom Cruise more fascinating than Sean Sims?" she asked. I know that's not the point of these stupid celeb-backpatting shows, but for regular Americans, the contrast can sometimes be rather striking. The last sentence of that article killed me:

Rounding out Walters' "Most Fascinating" list are "Desperate Housewives" star Teri Hatcher, Academy Award-winning actor Jamie Foxx and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice."

Really, how dare they lump Condi Rice with Teri Hatcher? Rice works her butt off as one of the most powerful people in the world; Hatcher pretends to be a slutty housewife for a living.

I told my neighbor about something I had seen on TV recently that had made me guffaw. Sharon Stone organized some benefit for Katrina victims, and lots of singers participated to raise money. I swear Sharon Stone started crying during her interview clip, saying what "heroes" these singers were. I laughed out loud. Heroes? For showing up and recording a song that regular non-millionaire Americans could buy to raise money for Katrina? That makes you a hero? I swear, celebs wouldn't know a hero if he bit 'em.

My neighbor replied to the Sharon Stone story: "That just means she has never really met a real hero before. She should talk to me, I live with one."

Amen, sister.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:44 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 Your Captain is one of my heroes; my nephew, who is soon to be in the 'Stan is one of my heroes. And you, Sarah, are one of my heroes, as was my wife, when she too had to maintain the rear guard while I was sailing the ocean blue in a navy gray ship. Thanks for your service to Russell and to this country. Jim

Posted by: Jim Shawley at December 01, 2005 10:05 AM (CnYsu)

2 I’ll never forget reading a letter to the editor of a newspaper in Virginia during the opening days of OIF. An Army wife wrote in response to all the celebrities griping about how wrong war is, how soldiers don’t want to go and fight, blah blah blah. Anyway, her response was along the lines of “How dare these people talk for me and my family? Why would anyone listen to the opinion of someone whose job is to pretend to be someone else?” She put it much better than I did, and I really wish I had saved that paper, but her thoughts are right on. Ben Stein also puts it in perspective so eloquently and so often. Thanks for all you and your husband do! Rude1, USAF (ret)

Posted by: Rude1 at December 01, 2005 12:34 PM (Cgo1/)

3 Real Heroes have HEART! Celebrities are hollow!

Posted by: Vonn at December 01, 2005 11:12 PM (sDFje)

4 Barbara Walters' list of fascinating people is such a joke. Your post prompted me to e-mail Ben Stein (via his website link) ~ I thanked him for all his support to the troops but especially for putting things in perspective re: the "celebrity" world. Did you catch the article about Bruce Willis making a movie about Iraq? He said he couldn't believe what is NOT being reported about all the positive things going on in Iraq. You have such a wonderful blog. It is always thought provoking. I've been reading it since Jenny and Heidi told me about it last year but this is the first time I've posted anything. I think I was a little intimidated by all you grammar police out there Patti

Posted by: Patti at December 03, 2005 01:06 AM (b/PAv)

5 Sarah, I loved this line: My neighbor replied to the Sharon Stone story: "That just means she has never really met a real hero before. She should talk to me, I live with one." I think you ladies have a helluva lot more credibility when it comes to teaching us about real heroes than Sharon Stone or Tom Cruise. If military wives don't know what heroism is all about, then no one does. From living with them --- and from being our heroes for putting up with us. Bless you all ladies for your love, patience and understanding in living with Uncles Sam's Wayward Boys Club -- the United States Armed Forces. Subsunk

Posted by: Subsunk at December 03, 2005 01:10 PM (SBriA)

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