Yesterday was my baby's six month birthday.



Motherhood has, in many ways, been exactly what I expected.  It's tiring, it's grueling, and it's repetitive.  It takes up every minute of your day and every thought in your head.  Much of my free time is unfortunately devoted to researching problems: annoyingly short naps, night waking, nursing strikes, etc.  Other moments are spent researching more fun things, like baby food recipes and age-appropriate toys.  But thankfully, at six months, there is indeed free time.  I do get about four or five hours to myself every day.

I just have to prioritize those hours.

Half that time is spent with my husband in the evening.  I still get to knit and wind down before bedtime, which these days is 9:30.  The other half is during the day, and it gets split between research, housework, and relaxing.

And while blogging used to be one of my favorite hobbies, it's just not at the top of my priority list anymore.  I barely make time to follow the news, much less form an opinion on it.

It should come as no shock to you -- seeing as I have written only 30 posts in the past six months -- that this blog is winding to a close.  And the thing is, I hate when blogs peter out.  I never know if I should keep checking in on Rachel Lucas or if she's done.  I hate that.

So I was all ready to write this post last night and close up shop...and I checked my email first.  And there was an email from a lurker who said she misses me...

And I took pause.

The only thing keeping me here anymore is all of you.  All the people I've met and the sharing of ideas I've made a tiny contribution to over the years.  I hate to not share anymore.

It's quite painful for me to quit.

Even moreso after I went back and read this post and its comments.

I was very ready to hang up my hat yesterday.  At peace with it even.  But now that it comes time to do it, I can't quite bring myself to it.

But I also hate to leave this blog hanging too...

I have to sleep on it.

Posted by: Sarah at 08:01 PM | Comments (18) | Add Comment
Post contains 387 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Hrmpf.

Based on your title in my bloglines, I expected a different kind of announcement, LOL!

I hope that you decide to keep blogging, even if only sporadically. I'm betting in six months you'll be back blogging away more regularly again.

Posted by: Heather at September 02, 2010 07:21 PM (pP752)

2 I would understand if you closed your blog, but I have a selfish hope that you don't. I've always enjoyed reading your thoughts... maybe you could just declare a temporary moratorium on blogging and revisit the issue in a few months?

Posted by: Sespi at September 02, 2010 07:52 PM (glwpe)

3 Babies grow and change and multiply and require an amazing amount of attention.  But I'm going to urge you not to retire this, unless you really, really have to see the ending.  It's an enormous amount of thought, effort, and putting yourself out-thereness.  If I can name one thing that motherhood made me, it's more introverted.  Mainly only meaning that I now much more than before derive my energy from myself.  So on the one hand, blogging is you, your head, your thoughts, your post topics, your words, on the other hand, it's a lot of controversy to invite into an already sleep deprived and crazy making lifestyle. 

So may the force be with you.  But I tend to think an all or nothing approach is the wrong road.  Life is fluid - the next six months with look completely different than the last.  When L.E. turned 7 months I realized I had a completely different life going.  And I needed to get some activities, STAT.  You may wake up dying to talk to people about some political or worldly development in just a few short weeks, and unless you have a very different play group than I did, the other mom's at baby playdates might not really want to hear your deep opinions on the matter.  Or even worse, they might judge your baby! 

Posted by: Lane at September 02, 2010 08:12 PM (u8biq)

4 Sarah, she's beautiful! And, like Heather, I thought there was an announcement of a different kind. I can fully understand that you can't give the blog the attention that you used to, but just as I still have Rachel in my feed list, I'll keep this one there too, for the day that you find you have some time on your hands & want to share your thoughts (and cute baby pics!) Whatever you decide will be the right thing. Take care, and give those baby toes a kiss for me!

Posted by: Toni at September 02, 2010 09:03 PM (OoGre)

5 Do not make me find you irl on facebook. Because I HATE facebook and I'd much rather read your blog. Even if you don't blog very often. That being said, I totally understand about blogging not being top priority anymore. I've had those sorts of thoughts about closing up shop, but it's the connection that always makes me stay (at least for the time being). Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best.

Posted by: dutchgirl at September 02, 2010 11:26 PM (IuAGt)

6 Sarah, I'm not you and don't know what's best for you. I only know that I don't want to see this blog go. I agree with Lane. No one knows where you'll be six months from now. You could leave this blog up as a potential outlet. I'm willing to wait, and I doubt I'm alone.

Posted by: Amritas at September 02, 2010 11:49 PM (hBtE2)

7 Nah, don't hang it up.  It's ok that you don't have the same time to devote to it now...you may be surprised...that time could come back.  As Rusty got older I found I had more time for things like blogging.  Now that I'm starting to work again and am pregnant I don't have as much time again, but the blog is always there.  I'm thankful for it.  I don't ever want to close up shop...and I hope you don't either!  Stick around!!!

Posted by: stacy at September 03, 2010 12:19 AM (oubiR)

8 *teehee* BabyGrok has no hair!!  *kiss kiss*

Me, I've got your blog linked in my sidebar, so I can tell when you update. Once every couple months is just fine!

Posted by: Lissa at September 03, 2010 05:59 AM (mgjM7)

9

Sarah, I have missed your posts, but assumed you were enjoying your little one. I hope you don't stop blogging, but honestly, you have to do what is best for your family. If you do decide to "close up shop" I wish you many years of happiness - It's been great getting to know you over the years, even if we'll probably never get the chance to meet "in real life"

Wishing you all the best!

Keri

Posted by: keri at September 03, 2010 09:15 AM (Tb2Kh)

10 Sarah,
I like it that you are busy with life but I would appreciate a little post now and then with the all the baby milestones.
I feel like I know you after all you've shared with us ,but I know you are a private person.
And I still check Rachel some to see if she's back.
I have you in RSS feed so if you post I will see it. Not begging, just saying. ;D

Posted by: Ruth H at September 03, 2010 11:19 AM (KLwh4)

11 Sorry for the crazy sentence in that post, my comment panel doesn't show me where the cursor is, guess I should be more careful.  Or use Internet Explorer.

Posted by: Ruth H at September 03, 2010 11:20 AM (KLwh4)

12 Joining with other lurkers in hoping you don't hang it up completely!

Posted by: Pat in MN at September 03, 2010 01:52 PM (1fuE/)

13 No need to quit...and no need to feel you have to post with any particular frequency. Just keep the blog up & throw up a post whenever you feel like it, even if it's just twice a year.

If we clap enough for Tinker Bell, maybe she'll stay  around..

Posted by: david foster at September 04, 2010 05:53 PM (Gis4X)

14 NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Don't go!!!

Posted by: Stephanie at September 04, 2010 11:45 PM (ccH8C)

15 I'd *still* miss you if you quit. I do miss your posts, now. But I also totally get not having time to blog.

And, happy 6-month birthday to the Grok family. =)

Posted by: Lucy at September 06, 2010 01:28 PM (IDfv2)

16 Exactly what Sespi said!  I'd understand, but would miss you...time changes everything

Posted by: Connie at September 07, 2010 05:35 PM (L6nIP)

17 For what it's worth - I do enjoying reading your blog! Even if it is just a blog post here and there

Posted by: Tootie at September 21, 2010 05:27 PM (hc4/D)

18 Thanks for sticking around ... Even if it's only sporadic.

Posted by: Darla at September 26, 2010 03:19 AM (t/qhR)

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