A couple of really kind people came up to me at the Milblogs Conference to tell me I was articulate. (Sadly, no one thought to comment on how clean I am.) But I just watched the video interview Mary Katherine Ham put together, and I must say I don't see it. I seriously think I need some botox to stop the horrible contortions my face makes when I speak. Ugh, I look ridiculous. Do I look like that all the time when I talk?

Posted by: Sarah at 06:04 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Over the weekend at SpouseBUZZ Live, I sat in on a seminar on how to start your own blog. One of the wives asked if it was possible to set her new blog to private so only her friends and family could see it. We bloggers all paused: of course it's possible to do that, but as I sat in the audience surrounded by ArmyWifeToddlerMom, airforcewife and her husband, and with CaliValleyGirl glued to my hip, we all wondered why on earth you'd want to.

When I have childrearing questions, do you think I call people from my real life? Nope, I call ArmyWifeToddlerMom. When I had military questions during deployment, Bunker Mulligan was my man. Amritas helps with linguistics, Deskmerc helps with physics, and Annika is the go-to for all things Goldie Hawn.

It is so strange, this my need of you.

CaliValleyGirl told this wife in the audience that setting her blog to private would effectively cut off her chances of finding a best friend. The thing is, we know more about our blog friends than we usually do about people in our real lives. I follow ArmyWifeToddlerMom's parenting life far more closely than even my neighbors'. I know my blog friends' likes and dislikes before we've ever met in person. When The Girl showed up in Germany, she knew everything about me before I ever picked her up at her hotel. When I asked CaliValleyGirl at the Milblogs Conference if she was surprised we were getting along so well, she shrugged and replied that she was not surprised at all because she already knew she liked me.

I thought about this weekend's conversation a lot this week as I read about the Lileks family's trip to Disneyworld. I have read The Bleat nearly every single day since Jan. 23, 2004. I know everything that's happened to him over the past three years, and I know far more about his life than any of my real world friends' lives. He is my friend, whether he knows it or not, and if he ever set his blog to private I would weep like a baby.

Posted by: Sarah at 03:59 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 All I can say is AMEN!!! I have been reading your blog for about a month now and I really enjoy it. I think if we ever meet in person we could get along. To be honest I do not want my friends and family reading my blog. This is my place to vent and be me without the worries of soemone taking something personal.

Posted by: Reasa at May 18, 2007 04:55 PM (JfF5d)

2 Tee hee I remember how "stalker"-ish I felt after the first time we met!

Posted by: The Girl at May 18, 2007 08:43 PM (3xdWY)

3 Not necessarily. Everyone is gonna hate me. cert4examHit the jackpot.,SUNHow did it come to this?,OthersWatch me..

Posted by: kimi at December 22, 2008 09:28 PM (60F6T)

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This was so awesome. AWTM pointed out that there's footage online from last year's Milblogs Conference. I loved watching this: Talking to Somebody Without Talking to Anybody

Posted by: Sarah at 10:14 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I wasn't exactly sure what we should expect as panel speakers, so in typical plan-ahead fashion, I wrote up something to say in case I needed to explain why family blogging is important. I didn't give this speech per se, but I did manage to work most of these points into my time on the panel. I thought I'd share my planned speech with you in case you're interested.

Hi, my name is Sarah and I write at trying to grok. I have a hate site dedicated to me, a guy who pokes fun at me for being the #1 War Cheerleader. At first I was not so pleased about this site, but eventually I realized that my role here is indeed war cheerleader, so I may as well be #1, right?

I think in some ways a being a war cheerleader is harder than being a soldier. The military wife faces her husbandÂ’s mortality on a daily basis. I came to terms with the thought of my own death long ago, and itÂ’s far easier to face than the death of my husband. IÂ’d rather go to war myself than send my husband, even though I canÂ’t run 2 miles in under 6 days and about the most discomfort I can handle is banging my funny bone.

A few weeks ago, a buddy of mine from high school returned from a Special Forces deployment. Once he was safely home, I breathed a sigh of relief and mentioned to my husband that every time I emailed my buddy in the final days of his deployment to make plans for dinner when he returned, I felt a tinge of dread, that feeling of “what if he doesn’t come home to eat this chicken parmesan”, as if the mere act of making plans for his return would invoke The Power of the Jinx, as milblogger Tim elegantly described when CPT Patti was in Baghdad. My husband looked at me incredulously and said, “Did you really worry he might not come home?” as if the thought had never occurred to him.

I pointed out to my husband something that every servicemember needs to remember when he thinks of his family back home. WeÂ’ve never been to Iraq or Afghanistan. We donÂ’t know what itÂ’s like. We imagine the worst, and our mental war zone would probably seem cartoonish to you. But we simply canÂ’t fully grasp what war is like. And while you know when youÂ’re safe or bored or having a slow day, we donÂ’t. Many times you can see danger coming if you have to go on a mission and you can emotionally prepare yourself to let slip the dogs of war; we have to stay emotionally prepared for the entire deployment, never sure of when your mortality is on the line. Your deployment is filled with the ebb and flow of adrenaline; your life is monotonous days punctuated by moments of anxiety or excitement; our adrenaline is always half-on, since every moment that weÂ’re not on the phone with you is a moment when youÂ’re possibly in danger. Such is the life for those on the homefront, those who stand and wait. Such is the life my husband canÂ’t begin to understand, any more than I can really understand his.

So IÂ’ve decided IÂ’m taking the insult back. I wear the title of #1 War Cheerleader with pride, for itÂ’s one of the toughest jobs in the Army.

Posted by: Sarah at 06:00 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 Yes! You managed to get this posted. I think it's the absolute best point made even with all the really great stuff they talked about in the other discussions. As soon as I can get my sorry act together, I'll be linking to it. Meeting you and CaliValleyGirl was one of the biggest highlights of the Conference. I'm so glad you were there!

Posted by: Teresa at May 07, 2007 08:22 AM (gsbs5)

2 IÂ’m rather partial to the cheerleading crowd, all that positive energy and all. (Plus IÂ’m a leg man). Some like to take the easy way out by biatching and moaning. They make themselves feel good by running down something. Staying positive and getting the job done when things are a little tough takes a lot more intestinal fortitude. Unfortunately, most people are weak minded and think everything should be quick and easy. Keep cheering, I for one will keep listening and cheering with yaÂ’.

Posted by: tim at May 07, 2007 11:46 AM (nno0f)

3 I didn't know you had a hate site dedicated to you! Wow! That's almost a compliment! All I have is a mother-in-law dedicated to hating me, which isn't as fun as it sounds. It can't go on my resume, like yours. I think your remarks were great - you explained it very well.

Posted by: airforcewife at May 07, 2007 02:57 PM (0dU3f)

4 You were wonderful. I enjoyed you and the Family Panel via the web.

Posted by: Reasa at May 07, 2007 05:51 PM (JfF5d)

5 I tried to trackback but they are being a pain in the butt so here's my link: http://homefrontsix.blogspot.com/2007/05/i-thought-i-was-done.html You have NO idea how hard what you had to say that afternoon hit me. Thank you. It was wonderful meeting you! Are you coming out for CVG's wedding??? Please say yes!

Posted by: HomefrontSix at May 07, 2007 11:11 PM (4Es1w)

6 I believe there's an old Afghan saying that goes something like this: "The insults of an enemy are a tribute to the brave."

Posted by: david foster at May 08, 2007 04:47 AM (BuT7m)

7 Sarah, great post. Thanks for putting it up. Andi asked JILL and I to be on your panel, but this crazy war deployment got in the way... can you believe it? Anyway, I noticed on Homefrontsix's blog comments that you may be in Hawaii soon...??? If so, as I suggested on her blog, I hope you manage to link up with JILL and chat a bit. I know she would love it and I'd love hearing about it. Anyway, still loving your blog, even from the Sandbox.

Posted by: JACK ARMY at May 08, 2007 09:18 AM (ypreu)

8 That is the BEST description of what it is like. Do you mind if I copy that? I'd like to send it to my non FRG group. Cause we weren't able to explain it to our deployed troops/sons/husbands... and that would! LAW

Posted by: Liberal Army Wife at May 08, 2007 03:32 PM (A5s0y)

9 Very beautifully written, Sarah. Just beautiful. You said so eloquently what I've never been able to put into words. I might just save this to show my husband one day. I don't completely understand what he goes through any more than he completely understands my point of view. Thank you.

Posted by: Robin at May 08, 2007 03:34 PM (XTKEz)

10 Sarah, loomking forward to seeing you this weekend in San Diego.... You did a fantastic job on the panel and were very impressive indeed!! You made me laugh often, and your approach was thoughtful..... I think the guys enjoyed hearing how proud we REALLY ARE OF THEM....and how we really cannot wait for them to return to our beds... I want to be the #2 cheerleader!

Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at May 08, 2007 05:59 PM (A5s0y)

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In case mine is the only milblog you read, I too will sum up the Milblogs Conference. We started with a very special guest speaker to address the gathering of milbloggers. Yep, President Bush sent a pre-recorded statement for us. The crowd went wild and everyone was snapping photos of the big screen. You can see W's speech to milbloggers here. Next we got to VTC with Admiral Fox in Iraq, Blackfive read an email from General Petraeus and a letter from Senators Coleman, Coburn, and DeMint, and the conference was underway. Never let it be said that bloggers don't matter.

I can't even begin to sum up all that was said on the panels. RedState has a great liveblog you should read to get the gist. I did try to make mental notes of topics I'd like to address further, and I plan to work on those posts over the next few days. I also plan to work on tidying up a few things I said on my panel. As I joked over the weekend, we bloggers deal in print, and there were a few times on the panel that I really wished I had my backspace key. I think I flubbed some points along the way, so I'd like to write a few posts clearing up some things I said when my mouth was moving faster than my brain.

The highlight of the weekend was meeting people I've known for years. SGT Hook was nothing like I expected, but I'll be darned if he's not better than I could've hoped for. I am trying to figure out how to arrange a play-date for Hook and Tim, since I think they'd get along swimmingly. It was so exciting to meet people like Teresa and Tammi, two awesome ladies who definitely ate their veggies growing up. And I think I've developed a major blog crush on Mary Katherine Ham. Chuck Z is nuts, Patti Patton-Bader is the warmest person on the planet, and Blackfive is more than just the talking head who's constantly on my TV these days. I also loved meeting the Lurkers, and it was jawdropping that a non-blogger would fly from Arizona just to meet all us buffoons.

And I have to say a little something about my darling bunkmate. I had met CaliValleyGirl in person before, but only briefly. Nonetheless, we settled in like we'd been friends for years. And hell, I guess we have. But she's even more perfect in person than she is on the phone, and I marveled at my Alabama Worley feeling all weekend, "that three words went through my mind endlessly, repeating themselves like a broken record: 'You're so cool. You're so cool. You're so cool.'"

Posted by: Sarah at 04:59 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I'm home from DC, exhausted and full of stuff to say. I promise to say it all tomorrow.

One of my awesome Lurkers (thanks for breakfast!) suggested that I put up a sort of "Best Of" list with some links to typical grok posts in case I have any new readers after the conference. I invite anyone who's here for the first time to check out my In a Nutshell post on the sidebar to learn more about me. If you want more, may I suggest scrolling down the sidebar to my "Tooting My Own Horn" list for a handful of older posts.

Oh, and if you're still confused about the title of my blog, see here.

Posted by: Sarah at 01:41 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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