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January 25, 2009

OH SNAP

My husband came in from the other room completely puzzled, because I was laughing so hard I was crying.

Iowahawk's parody of those pledging celebs.

(If you haven't watched the celeb video, you kinda have to torture yourself for four minutes in order to get the Iowahawk joke.)

Posted by: Sarah at 06:31 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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January 21, 2009

HAIKUS

Apparently Ace had haikus yesterday. My favorites:

Trust in Obama
All your worries gone forever
Bush goes to jail now
-----DrewM

unicorns for all!
I want one with wings on it!
pay up, you assholes.
-----jdub

Mr. President
My mortgage is due the first
Just an FYI
-----Guvnah

Posted by: Sarah at 12:05 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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January 20, 2009

I'M SICK

Because two hours later, it's finally funny again...
and because you have to laugh at yourself.

Posted by: Sarah at 02:05 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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January 06, 2009

QUOTES

Oda Mae sent me a link and I have spent wahhhhhy too much time on this today, but I love reading everyone's favorite movie quotes.

Around our house, we have some tried and true quotes. I like when I am explaining something complicated to my husband and he brushes me off with Jack Burton's "I know, there's a problem with your face." When the dog does something cute, we fake cry and say, "Ah luve him so much." When someone says something illogical, we always say that electrolytes are what plants crave. Yesterday I was so mad at someone that this came out of my mouth: "I hated her, so much... it-it- the f - it -flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breath..." Ha. I could go on and on.

But lately the thing that has cracked me up the most is when my husband makes our life part of FAIL blog. The other day we were in a loud place and he was telling me about an upcoming movie, and I misunderstood the first sentence he said so none of the rest of the plot made any sense. The whole thing got so muddled, and finally my husband just goes, "Conversation FAIL" and I cracked up.

I love quoting things, per se.

Posted by: Sarah at 08:07 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 I think So I Married an Ax Murderer is the most quoted movie in the AF Household. The most versatile quotes coming from the part of the movie where the father is discussing world domination and Col. Sanders. "Och, I hate the Colonel with his wee beady eyes! You're gonna eat my chicken!" Useful in situations where there is fried chicken involved or when we're talking about worldwide evil cabals.

Posted by: airforcewife at January 06, 2009 09:10 AM (Fb2PC)

2 AFW, that's a good one too! Sometimes my husband says he's gonna cry himself to sleep on his giant pillow. Heh. Oh, and I like saying, "Excuse me, there's been a mistake, I ordered the LARGE coffee."

Posted by: Sarah at January 06, 2009 09:40 AM (TWet1)

3 We're big time movie quoters in this household. Most of our quotes come from the second Austin Powers movie (and mostly things Dr. Evil said). The husband quotes lines from Full Metal Jacket once in a while, no big surprise there. Oh, happy new year btw!

Posted by: Pia at January 06, 2009 09:41 AM (MJr9d)

4 I would say Forrest Gump, for whatever reason, and Wedding Singer, for obvious reasons, are quoted most at our house. "And then, Ah was ruh-ning..." And, any time we have shrimp it's suh-rimp and we name off as many suh-rimp dishes as we can. In the wedding singer, if we deal with a crazy person, it's "Hey, psycho. Why don't you take off my Van Halen t-shirt b/4 you jinx the band and they break up?!" "Again, something I could have benefited from knowing YESTERDAY." (very popular at Casa W). We lurve our movies!! Thank God you posted, Sarah...I was worrying maybe you and Russ were trapped under something heavy.

Posted by: Guard Wife at January 06, 2009 11:43 AM (N3nNT)

5 Whenever our kids are running around outside we'll yell, "Ruuuun, Forrest!" LMAO! And The Wedding Singer is such a classic! When AFG is sick, we ask him how dead he is (the Princess Bride). When I'm being really bitchy, he'll tell me, "As you wish..." When he's being a dork, I'll tell him, "No, I didn't ask what you did for a living. I asked who you are," from Anger Management.

Posted by: airforcewife at January 06, 2009 12:05 PM (Fb2PC)

6 I know I've spent too much time in cartoon movie land. My favorite that I've actually been heard quoting in public is from Kung Fu Panda "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. That's why they call it the present."

Posted by: dutchgirl at January 06, 2009 12:17 PM (rVkwX)

7 When I was in Afghanistan, about 90% of my team's communication was in quotes from either Anchorman or Napoleon Dynamite. I had to watch both movies before I could effectively communicate.

Posted by: Sig at January 06, 2009 01:22 PM (uGgey)

8 This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bow-staff. I'll try to stop now. Okay, one more. When we see someone we really hate, AFG will copy the baby in Meet the Fockers, "Ass...Hooooole" I could totally do this all day...

Posted by: airforcewife at January 06, 2009 03:01 PM (Fb2PC)

9 Lately, one of our frequent movie quotes is from the second Austin Powers movie (I think Â– I haven't seen it): "We do not gnaw on our kitty" (complete with accent). Ian has a stuffed tiger, and shoves its face in his mouth when we hand it to him. I think he's kissing it.

Monty Python, Anchorman (another I haven't seen, but my husband has), MST3K, Simpsons, Futurama, and some others I can't remember right now tend to sneak into our conversations.

Posted by: Deltasierra at January 06, 2009 07:14 PM (uGgey)

10 We do Monty Python--"I'm feeling much bett-ah!"--and So I Married an Axe Murderer. I love "flames on the side of my face". But the family favorite is The Princess Bride. There's a quotation for every situation. Every. Single. One.

Posted by: Lucy at January 06, 2009 10:45 PM (LRv+G)

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--The Count of Monte Cristo--

While our troops go out to defend our country, it is incumbent upon us to make the country worth defending.
--Deskmerc--

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QUOTES

Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, WWII, and the Star Wars Trilogy.
--Bart Simpson--

If you want to be a peacemaker, you've gotta learn to kick ass.
--Sheriff of East Houston, Superman II--

Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. You just leave a lot of useless noisy baggage behind.
--Jed Babbin--

Dante once said that the hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in a period of moral crisis maintain their neutrality.
--President John F. Kennedy--

War is a bloody, killing business. You've got to spill their blood, or they will spill yours.
--General Patton--

We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.
--Full Metal Jacket--

Those who threaten us and kill innocents around the world do not need to be treated more sensitively. They need to be destroyed.
--Dick Cheney--

The Flag has to come first if freedom is to survive.
--Col Steven Arrington--

The purpose of diplomacy isn't to make us feel good about Eurocentric diplomatic skills, and having countries from the axis of chocolate tie our shoelaces together does nothing to advance our infantry.
--Sir George--

I just don't care about the criticism I receive every day, because I know the cause I defend is right.
--Oriol--

It's days like this when we're reminded that freedom isn't free.
--Chaplain Jacob--

Bumper stickers aren't going to accomplish some of the missions this country is going to face.
--David Smith--

The success of multilateralism is measured not merely by following a process, but by achieving results.
--President Bush--

Live and act within the limit of your knowledge and keep expanding it to the limit of your life.
--John Galt--

First, go buy a six pack and swig it all down. Then, watch Ace Ventura. And after that, buy a Hard Rock Cafe shirt and come talk to me. You really need to lighten up, man.
--Sminklemeyer--

You've got to kill people, and when you've killed enough they stop fighting
--General Curtis Lemay--

If we wish to be free, if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending, if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained -- we must fight!
--Patrick Henry--

America has never been united by blood or birth or soil. We are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us what it means to be citizens. Every child must be taught these principles. Every citizen must uphold them. And every immigrant, by embracing these ideals, makes our country more, not less, American.
--President George W. Bush--

are usually just cheerleading sessions, full of sound and fury and signifying nothing but a soothing reduction in blood pressure brought about by the narcotic high of being agreed with.
--Bill Whittle

War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
--John Stuart Mill--

We are determined that before the sun sets on this terrible struggle, our flag will be recognized throughout the world as a symbol of freedom on the one hand and of overwhelming force on the other.
--General George Marshall--

We can continue to try and clean up the gutters all over the world and spend all of our resources looking at just the dirty spots and trying to make them clean. Or we can lift our eyes up and look into the skies and move forward in an evolutionary way.
--Buzz Aldrin--

America is the greatest, freest and most decent society in existence. It is an oasis of goodness in a desert of cynicism and barbarism. This country, once an experiment unique in the world, is now the last best hope for the world.
--Dinesh D'Souza--

Recent anti-Israel protests remind us again of our era's peculiar alliance: the most violent, intolerant, militantly religious movement in modern times has the peace movement on its side.
--James Lileks--

As a wise man once said: we will pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty. Unless the price is too high, the burden too great, the hardship too hard, the friend acts disproportionately, and the foe fights back. In which case, we need a timetable.
--James Lileks--

I am not willing to kill a man so that he will agree with my faith, but I am prepared to kill a man so that he cannot force my compatriots to submit to his.
--Froggy--

You can say what you want about President Bush; but the truth is that he can take a punch. The man has taken a swift kick in the crotch for breakfast every day for 6 years and he keeps getting up with a smile in his heart and a sense of swift determination to see the job through to the best of his abilties.
--Varifrank--

In a perfect world, We'd live in peace and love and harmony with each oither and the world, but then, in a perfect world, Yoko would have taken the bullet.
--SarahBellum--

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.
--Ronald Reagan--

America is rather like life. You can usually find in it what you look for. It will probably be interesting, and it is sure to be large.
--E.M. Forster--

Do not fear the enemy, for your enemy can only take your life. It is far better that you fear the media, for they will steal your HONOR. That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse.
--Mark Twain--

The Enlightenment was followed by the French Revolution and the Napoleonic wars, which touched every European state, sparked vicious guerrilla conflicts across the Continent and killed millions. Then, things really turned ugly after the invention of soccer.
--Iowahawk--

Every time I meet an Iraqi Army Soldier or Policeman that I haven't met before, I shake his hand and thank him for his service. Many times I am thanked for being here and helping his country. I always tell them that free people help each other and that those that truly value freedom help those seeking it no matter the cost.
--Jack Army--

Right, left - the terms are useless nowadays anyway. There are statists, and there are individualists. There are pessimists, and optimists. There are people who look backwards and trust in the West, and those who look forward and trust in The World. Those are the continuums that seem to matter the most right now.
--Lileks--

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
--Winston Churchill--

A man or a nation is not placed upon this earth to do merely what is pleasant and what is profitable. It is often called upon to carry out what is both unpleasant and unprofitable, but if it is obviously right it is mere shirking not to undertake it.
--Arthur Conan Doyle--

A man who has nothing which he cares about more than he does about his personal safety is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the existing of better men than himself.
--John Stuart Mill--

After the attacks on September 11, 2001, most of the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, "Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes." The sheepdogs, the warriors, said, "Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference."
--Dave Grossman--

At heart Iâ€™m a cowboy; my attitude is if theyâ€™re not going to stand up and fight for what they believe in then they can go pound sand.
--Bill Whittle--

A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover that they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.
--Alexander Tyler--

By that time a village half-wit could see what generations of professors had pretended not to notice.
--Atlas Shrugged--

I kept asking Clarence why our world seemed to be collapsing and everything seemed so shitty. And he'd say, "That's the way it goes, but don't forget, it goes the other way too."
--Alabama Worley--

So Bush is history, and we have a new president who promises to heal the planet, and yet the jihadists donâ€™t seem to have got the Obama message that there are no enemies, just friends we havenâ€™t yet held talks without preconditions with.
--Mark Steyn--

"I had started alone in this journey called life, people started gathering up on the way, and the caravan got bigger everyday."
--Urdu couplet

The book and the sword are the two things that control the world. We either gonna control them through knowledge and influence their minds, or we gonna bring the sword and take their heads off.
--RZA--

It's a daily game of public Frogger, hopping frantically to avoid being crushed under the weight of your own narcissism, banality, and plain old stupidity.
--Mary Katharine Ham--

There are more instances of the abridgment of freedoms of the people by gradual and silent encroachment of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations.
--James Madison--

It is in the heat of emotion that good people must remember to stand on principle.
--Larry Elder--

Please show this to the president and ask him to remember the wishes of the forgotten man, that is, the one who dared to vote against him. We expect to be tramped on but we do wish the stepping would be a little less hard.
--from a letter to Eleanor Roosevelt--

The world economy depends every day on some engineer, farmer, architect, radiator shop owner, truck driver or plumber getting up at 5AM, going to work, toiling hard, and producing real wealth so that an array of bureaucrats, regulators, and redistributors can manage the proper allotment of much of the natural largess produced.
--VDH--

Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves.
--Marcelene Cox--