Tim offered a touching analogy for the handover to Iraq: "kinda like being tossed the keys to a brand new convertible and being told to take her out for a spin." Naturally, being the dork that I am, I thought of the scene where the Karate Kid got his license and he took off in the yellow convertible, with Mr. Miagi yelling BANZAI! as he drove away. I like the idea of being Mr. Miagi.

(Oh, and speaking of The Kid, this is hysterical.)

Posted by: Sarah at 11:56 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I now introduce a new segment here at trying to grok that I like to call

Make-Up and Houseplants

My younger cousin was Junior Miss Oklahoma. She's got the pageant thing down cold, and when I told her I don't really do such a good job with make-up, so agreed to give me a hand. I told her I can't wear eye make-up because it looks funny, so she grabbed her supplies and went to town. Five minutes later she was staring at me with a that's-not-right look on her face and said, "Well, maybe you're right." Even Junior Miss Oklahoma can't fix me up!

And I have this houseplant I bought last summer. Actually, I hung it outside until my neighbor kindly told me it would die in direct sunlight. How are we supposed to know these things? I brought it inside and hung it from the ceiling, and it's almost touching the floor. I babysat the wrinkly puppy on Sunday, and he kept biting the vines and tugging on them. I don't know what to do with it.

(Psssst. Are the mean ones gone yet?)

Posted by: Sarah at 03:24 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 I've seen some droppings here and there, I think most of them are gone, but there are still a few stragglers. I should come up with a troll repellent spray or something.

Posted by: John at June 16, 2004 03:52 AM (crTpS)

2 Sarah, Junior Miss Oklahoma can't fix you up because there's nothing to fix. You don't need makeup. Beauty is already in your DNA. At least you haven't killed your plant yet. I may have done that. I'd rather think the plant died on me, but that could just be denial on my part. John, Put Spectra Troll-Away Spray on the market and become a millionnaire.

Posted by: Amritas at June 16, 2004 05:38 AM (qu1yZ)

3 I think makeup is overused by almost every woman who wears it. Most don't need it, but have been conditioned to put it on anyway. Stick to what works for you, and don't be intimidated by anyone who says you're lazy because you don't spend hours primping. That's why I wear a short flattop...a washcloth combs it for the day!

Posted by: Mike at June 16, 2004 07:36 AM (cFRpq)

4 You don't need the makeup, pure and simple.

Posted by: Tammi at June 16, 2004 08:06 AM (rCTjQ)

5 Cut the vines! It's that easy, really. From trial and error I found that plants can be cut shorter and live to tell about it.

Posted by: Machelle at June 16, 2004 10:22 AM (ZAyoW)

6 The only makeup I can wear is mascara, and I don't even need to cause my lashes are already long. When I have put makeup on (maybe 3 times in as many years), my kid doesn't like it. He says I don't look like Mom. Lipstick freaks him out, and I hate that goop anyway! Beauty comes from inside anyway! P.S. I was busy and didn't catch the flamefest til it was over. In the great words of RWR, "Don't let the turkeys get you down."

Posted by: MargeinMI at June 16, 2004 10:41 AM (tlRrY)

7 Hi Sarah, You can definitely trim the plant, as Machelle says. You can take off half the length or more; if you keep it trimmed, you'll see that it gets bushier at the top, rather than having long spindly things. Or, if it's already bushy, then a little trimming won't hurt at all--it sounds plenty healthy.

Posted by: Carla at June 16, 2004 11:58 AM (r5M6F)

8 Somoe American guys like makeup. Most - no. My husband? NO!! I took him home to Georgia for my sister's wedding and he looked at all her American bridesmaids and said "ooh, they look like kabuki dolls!" Totally true and right on the money. Needless to say, I don't worry about the blush to foundation ratio.

Posted by: Oda Mae at June 16, 2004 04:46 PM (sFThJ)

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Charles Johnson made an LGF drinking game the other day; I think I could make a pretty good one out of the comments section here.

1. Any time someone calls me a rude name, drink.

2. Any time someone calls me unfit to teach, drink.

3. Any time someone gives me a stats lesson, drink.

4. Any time someone mistakenly calls me "he", drink.

5. Any time someone tells me to go back to school, drink.

6. Any time someone writes nearly the exact same thing someone else said previously, drink.

We'll all be trashed before the end of the post.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:08 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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The other day on the phone, my husband told me about the many young Iraqi boys who have learned English over the past year by hanging around Soldier checkpoints. He said they're there every day and that their English is really quite good, despite never having had formal instruction. However, they're also picking up the foul language that comes with soldiering, so it's not uncommon to hear a string of swear words or a horrifying insult come out of these teens. "Now there's your cultural cross-pollination," my husband quipped.

Posted by: Sarah at 04:03 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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As my neighbor said the other day, "There's only one thing worse than a cuckoo clock: a real cuckoo." We have one; he lives in our neighborhood and starts singing when the sun comes up. Unfortuately, at this time of year that's at about 0530. And a clock only cuckoos twelve times...

Posted by: Sarah at 02:01 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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