First Spain, then Honduras, and now the Dominican Republic.

Do you remember when Stan contracted vaginitis? Seems there's an epidemic going around the Spanish-speaking countries.

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A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A fellow came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "130." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, investments, insurance, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool." Another gent came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man responded, "100." So the robot started talking about football, baseball, and so on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool." A third guy came in to the bar. As with the others, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "70." The robot then asked, "So, are you Democrats really going to nominate John Kerry?"

HAHAHAHAHA...

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The Friday, er early-Saturday, Five

I've never done one of these, but this one at Triticale caught my eye. Any opportunity to rave about my students will be taken.

1. What do you do for a living?

I work as a college registrar for an overseas branch of an American university that offers college classes to overseas-stationed and deployed servicemembers. Currently I am also teaching my first term of ENGL 101 (and just Wednesday got hired to teach it again next term.)

2. What do you like most about your job?

Working with students who want to be there. For the average college student in the US, college is just something you do right after high school, and any excuse to miss class is welcomed. In contrast, my students now are doing everything they can to squeeze in courses. Most of them are on block leave after returning from a year in Iraq, and rather than use that month to go on a vacation or go home to the US, they've chosen to stay and get some courses taken with their free time. The ones who are not on leave hate to miss class for a day at the range or an unexpected CLass A inspection. They're working 40-50 hours per week and still manage to come to class nearly every day (during their lunch hour!), turn in their assignments, and turn in optional re-writes on their papers the very next day. Some of my students used to be in jail or in gangs, and they appreciate the value of getting their education and making a better life for themselves in a way that regular college kids could never understand. (See also here and here for why I love my students.)

3. What do you like least about your job?

I have a master's degree and I make less than $15,000 per year. But pickins are slim on an overseas post, especially when you insist on working in higher education. You take what you can get.

4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because...

As a registrar, it's when someone barks at me for something I have no control over, like a soldier arguing with me because I can't give him copies of sensitive documents.

5. What other career(s) are you interested in?

19K

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When we were registering for wedding gifts, the only thing my husband wanted was a waffle iron. I thought that was a good idea; my dad made us waffles often when we were kids, and I thought the idea of making waffles for our kids in the future sounded charming and traditional. So we got the waffle iron, and we make waffles quite often, though I hate cleaning the waffle iron just as much as I hate cleaning the George Foreman. Now that my husband is gone, I don't make waffles just for myself, but I can't wait for the day he comes home next year so I can start making him waffles again.

(If you don't get the joke, see here.)

MORE TO GROK: Spectra called my husband Mr. Grok the other day. That's kinda cute. Actually, I like LT Grok; maybe I'll start calling him that instead of "the husband" in the future.

Posted by: Sarah at 09:36 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I forgot to mention that the other night in German class, while practicing reflexive verbs, my teacher asked me Kämmen Sie sich vor dem Spiegel? (Do you brush your hair in front of the mirror?) and thought I was joking when I answered Nein, ich kämme mich vor dem Computer.

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1 Ich lachte vorm Computer.

Posted by: Princess Jami C at April 16, 2004 01:22 PM (0gPLe)

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If this headline isn't the most hysterical thing you've ever seen...

Arafat Warns U.S. Could Kill Middle East Peace

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Historical revisionism, Esotericus-style. Ha.

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Five things I really hate:

1. when orange juice turns sour
2. cleaning the George Foreman
3. when people leave their porchlight on during the day
4. the sound of a fork scraping on a dish
5. the expression "anywhoo"

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1 I'm with you on the George Forman. I stopped using it long ago for exactly that reason. My #1 is people in the left lane on the highway doing less than the posted speed limit.

Posted by: Larry at April 10, 2004 08:16 PM (6TcYT)

2 My #1 is people in online forums who say "hon" or "hun." Such as "hang in there hun." Especially when it's not a 60 year old person, but a 19 year old someone who hasn't a darn clue about the subject in which they are telling you to hang on through. Just pounds on my very last nerve.

Posted by: Shannon at April 10, 2004 10:14 PM (6EP7S)

3 Pour or run really hot water on the grill (hang it over the edge of the sink), and most of the crud wipes right off.

Posted by: LCB at April 11, 2004 01:05 AM (WN/nF)

4 Grrr...that "anyhoo" really ticks me off, too...I don't understand what it is supposed to mean, or how it is humourous, chummy, or otherwise clever.

Posted by: david at April 11, 2004 03:14 AM (s7Ho8)

5 Something I always wondered... how do you know when sour cream goes bad? :-D

Posted by: CavalierX at April 11, 2004 10:51 AM (sA6XT)

6 As for cleaning the Foreman grill - I have only one comment - warm grill (do just after it has cools a bit, or plug in 1 minute), wooden popsicle stick to clean out the cracks, and a paper towel. Works like a champ.

Posted by: Ron at April 11, 2004 02:15 PM (CwrQg)

7 George Foreman grill. As soon as you finish cooking, take a few paper towels, wet them, then lay them on the grill. Close the lid and enjoy your dinner. As soon as you are finished eating, take out the paper towels, and wipe down the grill. Makes life a lot easier.

Posted by: NightHawk at April 11, 2004 06:58 PM (VYFGK)

8 Clean the foreman while it is warm to hot, use wet paper towels. The gunk wipes right off.

Posted by: Blueshift at April 11, 2004 09:44 PM (crTpS)

9 My technique is similar; I have a spray bottle of water which I use to augment the above techniques.

Posted by: triticale at April 16, 2004 02:26 PM (YmQkS)

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As I watched South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut the other night, a parody formed in my mind:

Men, when youÂ’re out there, in the battlefield, and youÂ’re looking into the beady eyes of an insurgent as he charges you with his bootleg DVD (or whatever he has), and people are dying all around you, just remember what the Left says: "Horrific, deplorable Iraqi civilian deaths are OK, as long as Saddam caused them and not the USA." That is what this war is all about!

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When my friend from high school told me about spiders in Afghanistan as big as your head, I thought he was exaggerating.

Dang.

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We interrupt this back and forth over my English textbook to bring you some much-needed humor.

Deskmerc puked on a bum

Kennedy, Daschle Fined for Celebration Over Rice Testimony

Super Mario: Reloaded (via Esotericus)

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